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Thread: Hate giving lapdances? Yucky!

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    Member Anonymouscutie's Avatar
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    Default Hate giving lapdances? Yucky!

    I like dancing and I been dancing for around 6 months I enjoy getting dressed up and putting on heels and being on the stage but I really wish lapdances wasn’t a option to make money am I the only one who thinks ew gross in their head and feels degraded and can’t wait till the lapdance is over while you’re giving them?

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    Veteran Member Jalena's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hate giving lapdances? Yucky!

    You might be in the wrong line of work if you think it's degrading.

    Only real option otherwise is to work at a no-contact club.


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    Default Re: Hate giving lapdances? Yucky!

    Yup. If you're not comfortable of getting naked in front of men, tits getting latched on and dry-humping strange men, this work is not for you.

    My advice for lap dances, just grind him up until you start feeling it getting hard, get up and start to doing these sexy maneuvers like putting one foot across his lap and wiggle your leg a bit or start talking to him. Ask questions. The point is is to stall time until it's over and he pays up.

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    Default Re: Hate giving lapdances? Yucky!

    As others have said, lap dances are the main part of the job.

    See if there's a stage only or no-contact dance club in your area (super rare).

    If you love the being sexy part of the job but don't like the contact, you might look into something like go-go dancing, or picking up burlesque as a hobby and doing something else for work.

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    Default Re: Hate giving lapdances? Yucky!

    Lap dances are usually $$$ compared to stage.

    I've worked with women who refused to give lap dances. Shrugs. If you're at a stage-heavy club, don't need to make a ton of money, and can find ways to pass the time between stage sets, more power to you.

    I much preferred giving lap dances to dancing on stage, because one on one interactions are so much more enjoyable to me as an introvert. I never let men touch my breasts, as that would have traumatized me, personally. But i've worked in clubs where they could touch my back, legs, and outer butt area (for $40/ song?! Hell yeah!), and i didn't mind that at all. I've worked in no- contact clubs and clubs where grinding was permitted as long as it didn't get too heavy. I preferred grind/ contact clubs, since dances were easier to sell (required less emotional labor to sell), and guys left the dances feeling happier than with no contact. Grinding on a clothed dick feels sort of childish and funny to me, if anything. May as well be a table leg, for all i cared.

    As with any new job, i felt nervous and awkward at first. But it's important to be able to feel the difference between newbie nervousness and unhealthy trauma.

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    Default Re: Hate giving lapdances? Yucky!

    You could switch over to urban clubs and self promote like crazy as a stage performer. But i find even those clubs can get aggressively handsy. I prefer clubs that their lap dances are limited contact. No boob grabbing or anything im not comfortable with. I find that girls who hate lap dances have trouble telling men their boundaries and turning down men who don’t respect them. If you think someone is gonna be problemic, take the dance money upfront, give 2 warnings and if they dont listen— walk away.

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    Default Re: Hate giving lapdances? Yucky!

    You can experiment with " light " type of dances barely touching but you'll have to see how you do with $. It may not be as much as you want .

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    Default Re: Hate giving lapdances? Yucky!

    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouscutie View Post
    I like dancing and I been dancing for around 6 months I enjoy getting dressed up and putting on heels and being on the stage but I really wish lapdances wasn’t a option to make money am I the only one who thinks ew gross in their head and feels degraded and can’t wait till the lapdance is over while you’re giving them?
    Yes you probably are and with a mentality like that you don't belong in this industry. This is what pisses me off. The new breed of entitlement and fragility "I like dressing up and I thought being a stripper was cool because I saw it in a music video!" Until *gasp* Big bad reality came knocking! Suck it up and put on your big girl panties, snowflake. You're not special or unique. Lap dances are a part of the industry unless you go to the aforementioned stage centric clubs and even then you'll probably have to put up with some "degredation". If you want to play dress up in Imaginationland go be a Disney character actor. Of course you don't make shit but at least you won't feel "degraded".
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    Default Re: Hate giving lapdances? Yucky!

    You know, I really can’t chastise you for this. I’m pretty much among the last people anyone would’ve expected to muster the nerve to strip in front of a bunch of strangers then grind on their laps. I don’t think I ever saw it as ‘yucky’, but certainly uncomfortable and awkward.

    Give it time, you’ll learn to adapt. That’s really the nature of this business, no?

    I saw go-go dancing mentioned as an alternative. I’ve been doing that for ten years, ranging from small parties to packed nightclubs for shows from some pretty big name DJs. If you’re in it for the money, I wouldn’t recommend it, and it’s not something you do for the relaxed atmosphere- the purpose there is to energize the crowd, and you’re going to spend a LOT of energy doing that all night long, and more than once in a bodysuit which wedges up your ass in a rather uncomfortable way. But it can be fun.
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    Default Re: Hate giving lapdances? Yucky!

    I think no contact dances are hard sells. I certainly understand the sentiment. I just pretend they are someone hot. Paul Rudd is my go to. I know he’s not that hot, but he’s my type. When I guy wants me to act like I’m really into it I close my eyes and fantasize about what I’m going to do with the money...lol. “ oh yeah, I love dancing on you” Translates to money makes me cum...money makes me cum.
    Last edited by Ifyouseekamy; 12-16-2018 at 06:38 AM.

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    Default Re: Hate giving lapdances? Yucky!

    I work at a strictly lap dance club & like others have said. Yea you gotta deal with that or maybe it's not for for you. You'll always get guys that are icky & nasty and you don't wanna be around but every job as negatives.

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    Default Re: Hate giving lapdances? Yucky!

    Do air dances but just be prepared that most guys won’t agree to a second dance if evehdone and their mother is doing contact dances.

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    Default Re: Hate giving lapdances? Yucky!

    The customer is not suppose to touch the dancer on the main floor at all, esp if they have a vip/private room section. Find a club that doesn't allow contact on the main floor, where you can stack dances. But good luck finding a club where the security isn't shitty about letting guys touch you on the main floor.
    Last edited by Vyanka; 12-16-2018 at 03:17 PM.

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    Default Re: Hate giving lapdances? Yucky!

    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouscutie View Post
    I like dancing and I been dancing for around 6 months I enjoy getting dressed up and putting on heels and being on the stage but I really wish lapdances wasn’t a option to make money am I the only one who thinks ew gross in their head and feels degraded and can’t wait till the lapdance is over while you’re giving them?
    go to a 'urban' (black) club. they don't even barely touch you, you just get money thrown on you and you pick it up from the floor. also degrading lol... gotta pick and choose your battles i guess?

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    Default Re: Hate giving lapdances? Yucky!

    ^Haha, right? I suppose different people find different things degrading...

    The exchange of money, in general, seems to result in some form of degradation. I see no difference between picking money up off of a stage after my set and collecting a direct-deposit paycheck. At the end of the day, we're all just exchanging services and products for money...

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    Default Re: Hate giving lapdances? Yucky!

    I never worked at an Urban club or been to, but hear some of the men smack your butt on stage too? So there is some type of contact.

    Bikini/gogo bars are no contact at all. Collecting stage tips, but for that kind of money, may as well be the bartender there or a bottle girl somewhere else. Heck, even massage girl.

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    Default Re: Hate giving lapdances? Yucky!

    Yeah she should just be a waitress in a strip club then.

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    Default Re: Hate giving lapdances? Yucky!

    it is just a degrading profession lol, but that's why we make so much money..

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    Default Re: Hate giving lapdances? Yucky!

    Quote Originally Posted by Jalena View Post
    You might be in the wrong line of work if you think it's degrading.

    Only real option otherwise is to work at a no-contact club.
    There is No Contact in DC

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    Default Re: Hate giving lapdances? Yucky!

    Quote Originally Posted by Vyanka View Post
    The customer is not suppose to touch the dancer on the main floor at all, esp if they have a vip/private room section. Find a club that doesn't allow contact on the main floor, where you can stack dances. But good luck finding a club where the security isn't shitty about letting guys touch you on the main floor.
    Millstream in MD they def make sure guys don't touch you on the floor there

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    Veteran Member Jalena's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hate giving lapdances? Yucky!

    Quote Originally Posted by ioienvyioi View Post
    There is No Contact in DC

    I know; I worked in DC as well.

    I haven't seen anything from OP that indicated her location. If she's in DC she is not giving any actual LDs anyway due to the distance rules.

    Millstream is in the Baltimore area. If contact is OP's problem, it might be worth the drive down to DC.

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    Default Re: Hate giving lapdances? Yucky!

    Quote Originally Posted by Jalena View Post
    I know; I worked in DC as well.

    I haven't seen anything from OP that indicated her location. If she's in DC she is not giving any actual LDs anyway due to the distance rules.

    Millstream is in the Baltimore area. If contact is OP's problem, it might be worth the drive down to DC.
    OP is in NYC

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    Default Re: Hate giving lapdances? Yucky!

    Quote Originally Posted by SuperJa View Post
    OP is in NYC
    In that case she is screwed because these guys are handsy and there’s not enough bouncers to patrol dances even if they did care to correct guys touching. It’s up to the dancer to correct them / set boundaries and in that case don’t count on a second dance when all the other girls allow touching smh AND they’re hot!

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    Default Re: Hate giving lapdances? Yucky!

    Do waitressing or camming. Camming might be a good option -do whatever you want, and zero contact

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    Default Re: Hate giving lapdances? Yucky!

    A lot of girls in NYC allow guys to touch them on the floor dances? Ugh!! This makes me give up hope in a way

    Yeah I was gonna say if she waitresses at a club she isn't gonna be treated much different than a stripper, and will get grabbed at. Waitressing at a real restaurant would be better.

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