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Thread: Staying anonymous dancing with a vanilla job

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    Curious Guest Erikaa101's Avatar
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    Default Staying anonymous dancing with a vanilla job

    Hello web hello all!
    BEFORE anyone says this question/concern has been answered it HASN'T I've searched the whole site regarding my concern, if you can link me something relevant that would be more useful that leaving a comment saying this has been posted before! thanks in advance <3

    My constant concern: I work a full time vanilla job, (front desk) and need extra cash to support myself moving forward with goals. My question is how did it work for some of you maintaining both dancing and working at the vanilla job? did you recognize anyone from your work or any customers..? Should i also work further away in the valley vs 15 minutes away from my vanilla job...? for an example, I have two prospective clubs, one is much further away but I would have to travel more vs one is 15 away from the vanilla job and my only concern would be possibly maybe being spotted? I work in the OC area for my vanilla job ad the further club is in the valley, while the closer club is in Santa ana.

    OR SHOULD I JUST NOT GIVE AF....? Im only giving af because the vanilla job is a corporate environment.

    MY concern: Working a full time vanilla job, dancing on the side but should i work further and not be seen or closer for convenience and risk being seen by someone! help! thank you guys!!!(Depending on the advice i receive here i will put forward.)

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    Veteran Member Jalena's Avatar
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    Default Re: Staying anonymous dancing with a vanilla job

    There are a lot of discussions here on this subject, as it's a common concern. Might have to dig for it but it's definitely there. Most of the results I found were in regards to camming but a lot of it is still applicable to dancing.


    First, depending on what exactly your vanilla industry is, you have to decide if getting outed will be worth the consequences. That's always going to be a possibility.

    Personally, whenever I have danced while working/looking for a straight job, I always opted to go a little further away. I do my best to keep work/personal lives separate. I once tried a good club that was literally two doors down from my straight job (barbacking at the time). Straight job would have likely been cool with it, but it was a small neighbourhood and I didn't want the bullshit from one bleeding over into the other. So I would go to the more distant club, and be sure to conceal tattoos that would be recognisable from your straight job. Maybe invest in a good wig and learn to do a spectacular makeup job if you're still worried.

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    God/dess WendiStarr's Avatar
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    Default Re: Staying anonymous dancing with a vanilla job

    A lot of ladies work vanilla jobs while also dancing. There is always a chance that you might run into coworkers from your vanilla job or even worse, your relatives or guy friends. I had a vanilla job before while working at a strip club and the owner of the company was apparently a big time lover of strip clubs. He did out me to a supervisor and I had to quit my vanilla job because suddenly I was "that stripper girl". If you're willing to take that risk I would go with the club that is further away. I agree with the wig, makeup(I'd think big time on the face contouring), and concealing any recognizable tattoos, as the previous poster Jalena mentioned.

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    Default Re: Staying anonymous dancing with a vanilla job

    I work a vanilla job 4 days a week and dance anywhere from 0-2 shifts a week. The club and my vanilla job are over an hour away from each other so I don’t get too worked up over seeing someone I know, although I am aware anything could happen. Personally I do not like clubs near my home/office because I get anxiety thinking about being “busted” so the travel is no biggie to me. I don’t know what your industry is, but if you want to keep everything separate I would pick the club that’s further from home.

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    Default Re: Staying anonymous dancing with a vanilla job

    My vanilla job is at an equestrian center, even though I don’t actually work directly for the equestrian center or the riding program. So, a very family-oriented atmosphere, where it’s imperative that I keep a distance between the two. Because, you know, the woman who got gangbanged by the entire football team in high school? She’s married with kids now, so she’s bestowed herself the position of judging everyone else. Bonus points if she’s been “saved”, “born again”, et. al.

    So, I work at a club a fair distance away, and I don’t talk about it with anybody.
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    Default Re: Staying anonymous dancing with a vanilla job

    This is how I danced and did other sex work for years without much really happening to worry about.
    I did tell anyone I was dating seriously and I told one friend ( which was a mistake ). I recommend telling no one except your partner and only if full trust is there.

    Quote Originally Posted by AChildOfBoredom View Post
    So, I work at a club a fair distance away, and I don’t talk about it with anybody.

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    Default Re: Staying anonymous dancing with a vanilla job

    Work AS FAR AWAY as you can from the city you live in/work in...…

    Over the years I've randomly run into strip club customers outside of the club. Once it was at an ice cream shop in the city I danced in- the guy actually looked ashamed to see me because I was with my very attractive cousin and he had been incredibly rude and abusive to me in the club. I could tell the guy was like, Awwwwww I blew my chance to f*ck some hot girls. Hotness runs in THAT stripper's family.


    Just trust me, don't say a word about stripping. If someone brings up the topic to you in a vanilla setting, just stare at them like they sprouted devil horns and bat wings.

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    Default Re: Staying anonymous dancing with a vanilla job

    Quote Originally Posted by SnuffleUffleGrass View Post
    Work AS FAR AWAY as you can from the city you live in/work in...…

    Over the years I've randomly run into strip club customers outside of the club. Once it was at an ice cream shop in the city I danced in- the guy actually looked ashamed to see me because I was with my very attractive cousin and he had been incredibly rude and abusive to me in the club. I could tell the guy was like, Awwwwww I blew my chance to f*ck some hot girls. Hotness runs in THAT stripper's family.


    Just trust me, don't say a word about stripping. If someone brings up the topic to you in a vanilla setting, just stare at them like they sprouted devil horns and bat wings.
    I’ve had two run-ins with customers outside the club, so even the distance I put in wasn’t enough to completely nullify those occurrences. The one was the guy who took his family to tour the equestrian center and was sweating bullets the entire tour. The other, as it turned out, worked at the parts counter of the Kenworth dealership and was working on a day I had to go there to pick up parts.
    Written on the walls at the house of sorrow
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    Default Re: Staying anonymous dancing with a vanilla job

    Quote Originally Posted by AChildOfBoredom View Post
    I’ve had two run-ins with customers outside the club, so even the distance I put in wasn’t enough to completely nullify those occurrences. The one was the guy who took his family to tour the equestrian center and was sweating bullets the entire tour. The other, as it turned out, worked at the parts counter of the Kenworth dealership and was working on a day I had to go there to pick up parts.
    I had a run in like that but I'll PM you about it.

    In the modern US it really is "a small world." I've run into people I never expected to see in odd places. Usually a mutual look of "I didn't see you" is enough to ensure silence.

    HOWEVER some guys are CREEPS and will seize upon an opportunity to hog attention from a young woman by any means possible.

    IF some creep does this to you at your vanilla job, tell a supervisor to call the cops. The average cop has tons of stories about "sweaty dudes" who have to be chased out of sports bars, offices and warehouses because sweaty dude "saw something he liked" and started getting inappropriate. Also a LOT of workplaces consider unwanted attention from customers as possible casing for breaks ins, burglary or strong arm robbery. YOU the employee who is looking out for her safety is by extension looking out for the safety/security of the workplace.

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    Default Re: Staying anonymous dancing with a vanilla job

    There was actually a third, but I don’t know if it counts, since it was as I was on my way home from the club. I stopped at Denny’s (no accounting for taste, I know). Guy held the door open for me, and we recognized each other. So he asked if I’d sit with him because he was worried he’d look pathetic eating alone at a Denny’s at 3 a.m. on a Friday night.
    Wasn’t a bad experience. I think he just wanted someone to make conversation with. A little socially awkward, but not in a creepy way. The subject of stripping and me being a stripper never came up, it was about as normal a conversation as two strangers ata Denny’s at that time of night would have.
    Written on the walls at the house of sorrow
    You can find the names of those who burned
    Greater yet, the pain in little drawings
    I could not remain in that room

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    Default Re: Staying anonymous dancing with a vanilla job

    You should check the employee handbook at your vanilla job too. Mine has language in it about full-time employees working second jobs. It's allowed but you need to disclose it and get approval. It also says if your second job in any way embarrasses or puts liability on the company, they reserve the right to file a civil suit against you. This doesn't need to be a deal breaker for you, but you should be aware of it. Definitely work at the club farther away.
    "There are different kinds of darkness. There is darkness that frightens, the darkness that soothes, the darkness that is restful. There is the darkness of lovers, and the darkness of assassins. It becomes what the bearer wishes it to be, needs it to be. It is not wholly bad or good."
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    Default Re: Staying anonymous dancing with a vanilla job

    There are levels to this.

    Complete anonymity is gone the moment you give the club your identifying data, step foot on club premises that have video surveillance (never work at a place that does not have surveillance because it’s not safe), and dance in a “public” venue.

    Perhaps the club managers are trustworthy with your info, perhaps you dance far away and change your physical appearance like others mentioned, and perhaps you never do anything/nothing is ever done to you that would necessitate 3rd party review of club surveillance footage. All of this could greatly lessen the chance of the worlds colliding

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    Default Re: Staying anonymous dancing with a vanilla job

    Not a 100% guarantee of anything, esp. in today's world, but best of luck.
    There's also quite of few of similar threads, in stripping & other sections of this forum


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    God/dess indiegirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Staying anonymous dancing with a vanilla job

    You can't really be anonymous. Best to weigh if it's worth the risk of your normal job/personal life being outed.

    Someone recognized me and shouted my stripper name from their car while my mother was with me and I worked an hour away from home at the time.
    Last edited by indiegirl; 01-30-2019 at 11:02 AM.

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