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Thread: Has the lifestyle ruined dating for you

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    Default Has the lifestyle ruined dating for you

    I'm trying to date this guy. He's younger so I'm trying to be patient but I'm seeing some red flags sorta early. One day his mom gave us a ride home and she told me she wanted to have a sit down with me

    "I am very protective of my son even though he's grown," with grown in air quotes. ITS BEEN A MONTH!!!

    Now I feel that if I tried to date him I'd be dating his mom.

    Am I reading too much into it?

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    Veteran Member queenelayliah's Avatar
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    Default Re: Has the lifestyle ruined dating for you

    Mmmmm yeah run.

    The fact that you only been dating for a month and his mom asked you for a “sit down” to basically say “hey im watching you and if i dont like you, you’re out”. I think you will be dating him and the mother. You know those horror stories about crazy mother in laws, well your about to have one ahead of time.
    Last edited by queenelayliah; 03-04-2019 at 08:41 PM. Reason: I seriously need to read my posts before submitting.


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    Default Re: Has the lifestyle ruined dating for you

    His mother would be a MAJOR red flag, regardless of your occupation. Id want any prospective partner to have a healthy relationship with their mother, as I feel it ultimately reflects on their disposition towards women in general, an encounter like that would have me thinking I was dealing with WAY too much of a mamas boy type, and Im just turned off by that. Im not getting into a relationship just to have a parent (mine or theirs) trying to play puppet master with either of us.
    My hair seems to be seized by the wind
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    Featured Member trustfundkiller's Avatar
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    Default Re: Has the lifestyle ruined dating for you

    If anything, being in this business has helped me with dating. I know my worth, I demand the utmost respect, I don't tolerate nonsense, and my standards are the highest they've ever been. I would move on from that relationship. He's a man child. Why is his mom giving you two a ride? Does he not have a car? Can he not afford Uber? His mom clearly still sees him as a child if she uses the word "grown" with air quotes. Also, she wants to have a sit down talk with you? Thank you, next. There's only one adult in this relationship, and it's not him. You deserve better.

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    Default Re: Has the lifestyle ruined dating for you

    Next this mama’s boy real fast. Especially if he doesn’t have a car. I’ve seen too many coworkers settle for less. Aim for the sky!

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    Default Re: Has the lifestyle ruined dating for you

    Blue here - can I ask, what was his reaction when you told him?
    Where am I? Europe


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    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: Has the lifestyle ruined dating for you

    Mamas boy.....if you feel like dealing with dude AND his mother go ahead but just know that type of situation is an uphill battle because you will be competing with a mom who does not know how to release her son from her teets and/or a dude who most likely is not mature/emotionally intelligent

    Also you said she gave y’all a ride. Is he without car? Or just she happened to give a ride cause y’all needed a designated driver or something? If he is an adult with no car then you’re going to have to end it here unless you want that poverty struggle
    Last edited by miss.a.p1600; 03-04-2019 at 06:35 PM.

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    Veteran Member indiegirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Has the lifestyle ruined dating for you

    Quote Originally Posted by whodathoe View Post
    I'm trying to date this guy. He's younger so I'm trying to be patient but I'm seeing some red flags sorta early. One day his mom gave us a ride home and she told me she wanted to have a sit down with me

    "I am very protective of my son even though he's grown," with grown in air quotes. ITS BEEN A MONTH!!!

    Now I feel that if I tried to date him I'd be dating his mom.

    Am I reading too much into it?
    All I needed to hear were the words "mom gave us a ride home" ........NO WAY. Run from this dude.

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    Default Re: Has the lifestyle ruined dating for you

    I don't think you should have met his mom after only 4 weeks . Was this just random ? Does he have a car ( if not, run ).

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    God/dess carmen_b's Avatar
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    Default Re: Has the lifestyle ruined dating for you

    To answer the question ... yeah ... it has ruined me in a way. I'm impatient.
    I'm also really good at not getting my time wasted so it's two sides of the coin.
    Sex workers overall I find really value their own time and are protective of it. It's actually a good thing for dating.
    Last edited by carmen_b; 03-04-2019 at 10:41 PM.

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    Default Re: Has the lifestyle ruined dating for you

    Quote Originally Posted by whodathoe View Post
    I'm trying to date this guy. He's younger so I'm trying to be patient but I'm seeing some red flags sorta early. One day his mom gave us a ride home and she told me she wanted to have a sit down with me

    "I am very protective of my son even though he's grown," with grown in air quotes. ITS BEEN A MONTH!!!

    Now I feel that if I tried to date him I'd be dating his mom.

    Am I reading too much into it?
    It depends on how much she knows about you PLUS whether she's open-minded or not.

    I can honestly say as most people mature they get less demanding of others and more focused on their own world.

    Play it by ear?

    & Honestly after retiring from the adult biz I viewed dating with the same lack of interest as I had before I decided to be a stripper.
    He who controls the spice controls the universe, chingada madre

    Boomerang my cremains into the Pacific Ocean AYYYO
















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    Default Re: Has the lifestyle ruined dating for you

    WHAT! That’s crazy! Oh gosh buyer beware. No this job made my relationship better. Now I’m being compensated instead of just being used.

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    Default Re: Has the lifestyle ruined dating for you

    Working in the night club/bar life isn't good for dating.

    Mom talk sounds way intimidating.

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    Default Re: Has the lifestyle ruined dating for you

    I would NEVER date a dude with a mom like that, WTF! In regards to the lifestyle ruining dating for us...I feel like it just weeds out all the insecure, judgmental losers who can’t accept what we do. And also the cheap, broke f*ckers who can’t afford us. It definitely limits our dating selection, but that is also a good thing! It tosses out all the undesirables we’re better off without. In the OP’s case, you’re clearly better off without this dude and his creepy mom! Yikes!

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    Default Re: Has the lifestyle ruined dating for you

    Dating has ruined dating for me. I only ever seem to attract shitty guys anyway and that goes back to well before I started dancing. If anything, dancing was a positive in that it taught me to figure out, enforce, and periodically examine what I am and am not willing to put up with.

    That said, if you're only a month into it with this guy and his mother has already come onto you that aggressively, I would take that as a sharp warning from the universe and jump ship before you get any more invested in him.

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    Default Re: Has the lifestyle ruined dating for you

    My ex's mom stuck her nose in my biz waaay to often esp since we were staying there temporarily. I was THE only one in the relationship trying to make money & I had just quit dancing to do other things. I was making good money doing those silly focus studies & market research things weekly & saving all of it, meanwhile manchild got money from her almost daily. She told me one day in her snide little tone that "It's great you're getting these studies, but it's really just beer money". I rolled my eyes & went on with my life. Most moms are nosy ass cunts & their "lil boys" will never be truly yours. They will always listen to their mother's opinions even if it's just trash talk.


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    Default Re: Has the lifestyle ruined dating for you

    Ok, that is a major red flag if his mom was driving you guys home and was using air quotes to refer to him as grown. How old is he? Is he a teenager or early 20s? Regardless of his age, I'd be careful. Overbearing mothers can ruin and in some cases prevent their sons from having healthy relationships because the mother/son relationship is unhealthily overattached and codependent. He could be a classic mama's boy who will break up with you just because mama said.

    As for my thoughts on dating and the lifestyle..oh yeah, dating is ruined for me big time! I have zero trust in men's ability to be faithful anymore due to the crazy amount of customers who are married or in long-term relationships and cheated on their wives and significant others with me. If someone is not faithful to me, I have no desire to do the same. That's why I think that if I ever got married it would have to be a mutually open marriage. I would love to find a man to settle down with, marry, and have a family together but in the current dating trend of endless meaningless booty calls, it's all a hoop dream. It seems pointless anymore to waste time on meaningless, dead-end relationships that are not going anywhere and have no benefits financially or emotionally. At least with work I am benefiting financially.

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    Default Re: Has the lifestyle ruined dating for you

    I think I'm happier doing my own thing

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    Default Re: Has the lifestyle ruined dating for you

    Not really. You can tell how men are by a mile away.

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    Default Re: Has the lifestyle ruined dating for you

    Run! I wouldn't date a mama's boy even if he had a ton of money and I love money.

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    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: Has the lifestyle ruined dating for you

    Quote Originally Posted by Elle:) View Post
    Run! I wouldn't date a mama's boy even if he had a ton of money and I love money.
    Exactly! Like you might have a luxury lifestyle but at the expense of it most likely being controlled my mommy who could easily write you and dude (if married) out of the will for making decisions that mommy doesn’t like.

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    Default Re: Has the lifestyle ruined dating for you

    Quote Originally Posted by WendiStarr View Post
    Ok, that is a major red flag if his mom was driving you guys home and was using air quotes to refer to him as grown. How old is he? Is he a teenager or early 20s? Regardless of his age, I'd be careful. Overbearing mothers can ruin and in some cases prevent their sons from having healthy relationships because the mother/son relationship is unhealthily overattached and codependent. He could be a classic mama's boy who will break up with you just because mama said.

    As for my thoughts on dating and the lifestyle..oh yeah, dating is ruined for me big time! I have zero trust in men's ability to be faithful anymore due to the crazy amount of customers who are married or in long-term relationships and cheated on their wives and significant others with me. If someone is not faithful to me, I have no desire to do the same. That's why I think that if I ever got married it would have to be a mutually open marriage. I would love to find a man to settle down with, marry, and have a family together but in the current dating trend of endless meaningless booty calls, it's all a hoop dream. It seems pointless anymore to waste time on meaningless, dead-end relationships that are not going anywhere and have no benefits financially or emotionally. At least with work I am benefiting financially.
    Im 24 and hes 19

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    Default Re: Has the lifestyle ruined dating for you

    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPopcorn View Post
    What else happened? Her saying just that one sentence doesn't provide a lot to go on. Did you sit down with her? And how much younger? Is he 18 and you're in your 40s?
    Im 24 he's 19. We havent had the sit down yet just her asking me about basics (occupation, age, etc)

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    Default Re: Has the lifestyle ruined dating for you

    Yeah some old school adults don’t see their “kids” as true adults until they are 25 and fully self-sufficient.

    The average college student 18-23/24 still can’t rent a car, hasn’t worked a “real” job, still depend on mommy and daddy financially, and has been so sheltered they aren’t true adults in the self-sufficient sense.

    You will be regressing yourself if you date this man-child still attached to his overbearing mother

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    Default Re: Has the lifestyle ruined dating for you

    Ok, so he is a teenager. That explains a lot. What are you hoping to gain from this relationship? It sounds like you could be setting yourself up for much unnecessary drama by dating this boy.
    "There will always be a part of me that is dirty and sloppy, but I like that, just like all the other parts of myself. I can forgive. Can you say the same for yourself, fucker?" - Silver Linings Playbook

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