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Thread: Welp... Got my first truly obsessed customer... Now what?

  1. #1
    God/dess Selina M's Avatar
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    Default Welp... Got my first truly obsessed customer... Now what?

    I must have jinxed myself with the Regulars thread in HH

    I met this customer 3 weeks ago. He was great until we went to VIP, when he dropped the bomb of "I broke my rule. I used to be a club bouncer, I don't spend $$ on strippers." I knew after that that he was going to be a pain in the ass for the night. The usual asking for my number, etc. I told him my general policy is that I don't exchange numbers unless I've met the person ITC a few times (which is true; I only have a few regulars and they all came in several times first before *I* took *their* numbers. Every other guy, whose intention was to date me, has never even come back a second time). He kept pushing to meet OTC, I kept it vague as we usually do, saying "I just met you! I don't know you at all!"
    He asked what I do besides dance at that club. I didn't even want to get anywhere near the actual truth (I didn't want any more familiarity/rapport to fuel him), so I said sometimes I worked at another club 1.5 hours away.

    I come back to work the next weekend and multiple dancers & wait staff tell me this guy has been either in the club looking for me, or else has called asking if I'm there, 4 nights in a row. He doesn't show up that weekend, much to my relief. Last weekend though, he sends the door girl to get me. I hadn't even seen him, he was sitting in a corner & didn't even bother to come up to my stage, just sent her after me

    He starts telling me that not only was he in and out of my home club for the last 2 weeks (apparently he'd been in almost every night that I wasn't working, so something like 8/14 nights), but he had been DRIVING TO THE OTHER CLUB FIRST. He drove 125+ miles roundtrip and sat in two clubs every other night or so looking for me.
    I don't even WORK at this other club. They must have another girl with the same name or were fucking with him, because he said the staff kept telling him "Oh she's not here! I think she works XYZ nights!" He also admitted to having tried to find me on Facebook I was pretty horrified at all this, frankly.

    He spent another 1.5 hours in VIP, most of it bugging me for my number/to break my rule of not giving it out quickly, "doesn't all that effort of driving between clubs count for a visit?", OTC dates, etc. When he left, I told him *clearly* that I would not be working for 3 weeks due to various things. I was hoping that he'd cool off in that time & give up.

    My friend just texted me saying he was there last night looking for me. Ffs! He did eventually take 2 other girls to VIP, but she said she talked to him for a while and "Man he is OBSESSED with you though". I had already tried to steer him towards one of these other girls & he kept insisting "But she's not you" so I don't know that taking other girls is any indication he's going to cool it.

    I am very irritated at this situation. In all the years I've danced, I've never had a guy get so infatuated. Said friend is used to creepers so she isn't bothered too much; she thinks I should keep taking his $$ and say the club is really cracking down on firing girls who give out phone numbers ergo I can't... However, the driving between clubs, looking me up on FB.... the *degree* of obsession is really skeeving me out.

    Am I over-reacting or is this way crazy? Do y'all think he'll start to fizzle himself out & move onto another girl if I just ignore him ITC? Or should I just have him banned?
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."
    - Lux ATL

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

    Quote Originally Posted by crystalize View Post
    Ok so i gotta turn up the moronic drunk slut

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  3. #2
    Member StellaRose's Avatar
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    Default Re: Welp... Got my first truly obsessed customer... Now what?

    Hmmm...

    Maybe create a separate google voice number just for him (really just a throwaway number you donít care about) Then charge him to give it to him.

    If heís still spending, thatís good imo. If he starts getting to the point of cockblocking you with other customers (or trying to), thatís bad. My guess is that he will get in the second category real quick. (Hopefully Iím wrong.) But money can be made in the meantime.

    Ooh, and maybe in the meantime, have a pocketknife/pepperspray when walking across the parking lot in the short term. I donít know if heís quite at that level (you would know better) but it doesnít hurt.

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    Default Re: Welp... Got my first truly obsessed customer... Now what?

    LoL!!!!

    You can't do nothing about it. Just get used it and he'll lose interest eventually once he realize or look at his own bank account and statements. The question is when? Though the worse is coming which is he starts cutting spending and will want to talk to her for free.

    I got the same problem and it's still ongoing. The bad part for me is my hardcore regular knows my name and stalks me on social media. So don't do the same mistake I did by giving your first name and prior personal information like what high school you went to.

    Mine was I gave him my first name when we first met and the other strip club I worked at later on, which I left a comment on one of the photos of the club's Facebook page yeaaaars ago which I forgot about it and he found it within 8 months. That really bite me in the ass for being a little careless and as well underestimating his intelligence.
    Last edited by 305gurl; 04-12-2019 at 08:00 PM.

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    Default Re: Welp... Got my first truly obsessed customer... Now what?

    If you want to stop him from "pursuing" you, from reading your prior posts, just tell him you have a boyfriend and show him a picture as proof. He'll lose interest. That's another advice I can give you.

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  9. #5
    God/dess Selina M's Avatar
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    Default Re: Welp... Got my first truly obsessed customer... Now what?

    Quote Originally Posted by StellaRose View Post
    Hmmm...

    Maybe create a separate google voice number just for him (really just a throwaway number you don’t care about) Then charge him to give it to him.

    If he’s still spending, that’s good imo. If he starts getting to the point of cockblocking you with other customers (or trying to), that’s bad. My guess is that he will get in the second category real quick. (Hopefully I’m wrong.) But money can be made in the meantime.

    Ooh, and maybe in the meantime, have a pocketknife/pepperspray when walking across the parking lot in the short term. I don’t know if he’s quite at that level (you would know better) but it doesn’t hurt.
    I do have a Google voice # but honestly I don't want to encourage him further by giving him ANYTHING. I do get the sense he's getting kinda possessive.
    I am definitely going to either have my SO drive me to work or else park in the back so I don't have to be walked across the lot in case he's hanging around. I wouldn't be surprised if he started hanging out after we close.

    305gurl, I'm glad you at least find it funny. Sigh. This is like Exhibits A-H why I don't do a lot of regulars. I definitely did not give him any more info about me that he could use. I'm not connected with the club in any way on any social media either, no comments or likes or anything. He asked what kind of car I drove and I gave him the business about what a creepy question that was, ugh.

    I honestly don't want his money at this point. Call me crazy, I don't like where this seems to be heading. I'm mainly debating if he'll leave me alone if I just ignore him ITC or if I need to bring the banhammer down.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."
    - Lux ATL

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

    Quote Originally Posted by crystalize View Post
    Ok so i gotta turn up the moronic drunk slut

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  11. #6
    God/dess Selina M's Avatar
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    Default Re: Welp... Got my first truly obsessed customer... Now what?

    Quote Originally Posted by 305gurl View Post
    If you want to stop him from "pursuing" you, from reading your prior posts, just tell him you have a boyfriend and show him a picture as proof. He'll lose interest. That's another advice I can give you.
    I generally say I'm single at work :/ I was thinking to maybe say my ex-fiance (so it sounds very serious) & I reconciled over the week or something...
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."
    - Lux ATL

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

    Quote Originally Posted by crystalize View Post
    Ok so i gotta turn up the moronic drunk slut

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    Default Re: Welp... Got my first truly obsessed customer... Now what?

    Nah, don't say ex-fiance. It'll only encourage him. If you're not going to take his money, just ignore him. I'm sure he'll come up to you, this is where you have to tell.him. If you don't want to make it a scene, let him take you to the VIP, and if he persist, which he will, say you're taken and show him a picture. He'll look stupid about wasting his time and money.

    I'm sure the reason he's chasing you is because you told him that you're single.

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    Default Re: Welp... Got my first truly obsessed customer... Now what?

    Bleh. No advice.

    If you don't want to give your GV # out and have a bad feeling about it ..... don't.

    A customer I cut off a few weeks ago has messaged no less than 40 times ( really ) in that time and I actually need the number active to talk to others that don't annoy me as much as him.

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    Default Re: Welp... Got my first truly obsessed customer... Now what?

    Your intuition is probably the best thing. What is your relationship with the bouncers? You could probably ask them to keep an eye on him because “you have a bad feeling” If it’s a so-so relationship, then I guess wait for him to actively do something wrong first before taking action on him.

    I’ve personally worked in club environments where it seems managers/bouncers prefer to do as little as possible, but I’ve heard it’s not like that everywhere.
    Last edited by StellaRose; 04-12-2019 at 09:17 PM.

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    Default Re: Welp... Got my first truly obsessed customer... Now what?

    Bouncers could work. Most guys find it embarassing if other guys know they're in love with a stripper.

    But I prefer the more "discreet" approach.

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    God/dess Selina M's Avatar
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    Default Re: Welp... Got my first truly obsessed customer... Now what?

    Update: I literally walked into the DR last night to 2 girls talking about his Thursday visit -_- I guess he was being kind of mean and aggressive to most of the girls, "No. I'm waiting for Selina." "Oh well she's not here, but you might find someone else you like" "NO, I'm looking for her!" The girl he did take to VIP said he was calling her his 'side chick'. There was a whole DR discussion about how obsessed he seems.

    He showed up again last night, ffs! He sent a girl to go find me. I ignored him, he came up to tip me on stage without even saying a word (just tossed $10 down and walked off). Thank goodness I was schmoozing another customer at the time. Stalker sat behind us & refused to take even his 'side chick' for a dance, just stared at me the whole time. When I stood up to lead my custy off to the back, Stalker got up and walked out REAL fast.

    I hope that's the last of him but I'm also getting the feeling that he might come back & try to yell at me or something. Whether or not he's going to progress to 'dangerous', I don't need the drama. He's not of any use to the other girls bc he won't buy from them while I'm working and half the time he doesn't even buy a beer.

    Stella, I have a good relationship with one bouncer in particular who is aware of the guy now and agrees that he is getting way too into me. The others will back him up. I'm going to have him banned from the club.

    Thanks ladies!!
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."
    - Lux ATL

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

    Quote Originally Posted by crystalize View Post
    Ok so i gotta turn up the moronic drunk slut

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    Default Re: Welp... Got my first truly obsessed customer... Now what?

    Quote Originally Posted by 305gurl View Post
    If you want to stop him from "pursuing" you, from reading your prior posts, just tell him you have a boyfriend and show him a picture as proof. He'll lose interest. That's another advice I can give you.
    True but most of these men are married and won't care if you have a SO too. SMH.

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    God/dess Selina M's Avatar
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    Default Re: Welp... Got my first truly obsessed customer... Now what?

    ^ Truth. Some guys try to compete. So stupid.

    I wasn't at work half an hour tonight before he came back. Guess he didn't get the message last night. Bouncer said he accepted his banning sadly.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."
    - Lux ATL

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

    Quote Originally Posted by crystalize View Post
    Ok so i gotta turn up the moronic drunk slut

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    Default Re: Welp... Got my first truly obsessed customer... Now what?

    Time to lock and load. The 2nd amendment is for EVERYONE. Including strippers. Especially strippers.
    "There are no stupid questions, only stupid people. "-Mr. Garrison, South Park.

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    Default Re: Welp... Got my first truly obsessed customer... Now what?

    Quote Originally Posted by arielbriel View Post
    True but most of these men are married and won't care if you have a SO too. SMH.
    Don't see the point of going if married unless going with a single friend(s) and hang out.

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    Default Re: Welp... Got my first truly obsessed customer... Now what?

    Just reading all of this. I'm glad you got him banned. His behavior was too crazy right away. You gotta stay safe.
    xoxo

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    God/dess Selina M's Avatar
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    Default Re: Welp... Got my first truly obsessed customer... Now what?

    Quote Originally Posted by chanzep View Post
    Just reading all of this. I'm glad you got him banned. His behavior was too crazy right away. You gotta stay safe.
    That's what I felt. A few other girls thought I was being stupid for banning him... then again, they're really young and only ever see $$ signs.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."
    - Lux ATL

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

    Quote Originally Posted by crystalize View Post
    Ok so i gotta turn up the moronic drunk slut

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    Default Re: Welp... Got my first truly obsessed customer... Now what?

    I'm sorry this happened. Sometimes the most harmless "lost puppy" type stalkers and hangers-on cause the worst drama-usually without comprehending what they are doing to the object of their obsession.
    He who controls the spice controls the universe, chingada madre

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