Originally Posted by
cyberstripper
It is not the job causing your stress ladies, it is you. Yes, you. Yes jobs can influence our stress levels, emotions, and mind set, but at the end of the day we are all responsible for our own emotional/physical states of being. That being said I was a hot mess years ago because I allowed stress from this industry to consume me...but at the end of the day you are in control of your thoughts and emotions....so I speak from experience here. I allowed it. I have been in the industry for over a decade, about 15 years now. A majority of that time I was in a negative state of being, and blamed the industry, etc. That set me back years in my own personal development.
What helped me break out of my dark time:
Meditation
Yoga
Eating a proper diet
Set hours: I know it is very easy to cam from the time we wake up to the time we go to bed...it is difficult to manage time and we all procrastinate and or stay on sites far too long. I did this for years and it wore on me. Give yourself set hours to work on a live site, and let it be that...even if you did not make your goal. Fuck staying up too late to make $20. We all have a good day one day and a bad day the next. Accept this, it is the reality, the ups and downs will never end! It is how you manage yourself that makes the difference. The feast/famine game will never change but you can change the way you work and how you react to it. A tip is to work on a live site and sell skypes/indy cam. When you are on off hours you can still make money on skype without being live all of the time. Nothing better than taking a few hours to yourself in the am/pm and making $50-100 in a skype show to start off your day! And it makes the live cam hustle that much easier cause you are already ahead of the game! Unless you are late on rent or have unexpected circumstances, there is no reason to stay on a site 8+ hours a day..it does not increase your money. Giving yourself time off will, because you are well rested and have your head in the game, not some exhausted camgirl zombie.
Law of Attraction: We all get super stressed if we dont make our goals and it is very self destructive. Cam with intention. Affirm you are going to make tons of money/make your goal/overcome financial challenges. Change your mind set about money, and your money will change. Say your affirmations and intentions out loud before you get on cam, and let that shit go. Watch as the money flows to you from many different sources. The key with affirmations is to stop obsessing over them and let the universe work its magic. Have faith in yourself and faith in the universe. If you are constantly in a negative mindset about money, or think it is hard to make, it will be hard to make. That is the reality you are creating for yourself when you think this way. Your thoughts become your reality. Get rid of the scarcity mind set, and take on a mind set of abundance.
Same goes with the way we think of ourselves for being in the industry/cammers. I resented myself for being in the business for so long for quite some time. Camming was always something I "had to get out of one day" and when that day never came, I had a difficult time accepting myself. Camming is the ultimate blessing and job and I now look at it that way. We have so much opportunity, so much freedom, and so many ways of making money. It isn't some god awful dead end unless you make it that way for yourself. We can all cam into retirement and that is NOT a bad thing. Cammers are the first gen of sex workers who do not have to "retire" at 30. We can cam until we are all grannies, and nowadays I do not think that is all that bad. If you have a disparaging outlook of this industry, it will not work in your favor.
Opportunities: Yes there are so many ways we can make money. Tipping sites, members sites, snapchat/fans only clubs, clips stores. Stick with one or two means of making money and focus on those. A lot of us spread ourselves way too thin, and that means you are not reaching your full potential. Fuck appearing everywhere online, because "everyone else does." Be a big fish in a little pond, not a little fish in a big pond. Stop trying to keep up with the herd on social media, stop being that "pick me camgirl" always seeking attention in some way shape or form (even if it is business related) It is exhausting, inauthentic and a waste of time. We all know that social media doesnt convert as much as we would like it to, so use it as a means to keep in contact with your existing fans and not attract new ones. Once new fans see how popular you are with your regulars, they will be interested. What they aren't interested in is yet another camgirl spamming all her links all the time. I'd rather have a lot of followers on one social media outlet, than trying to juggle 5 different social media outlets each with less followers. Work smarter, not harder. And blogs rule..what message are you trying to get across in 40 characters or less? Yawn!! Blogs really allow clients to get a feel for you as a person and have a much better opportunity of converting.
Practicing Mindfulness/Self awareness/Present moment awareness: Cam models are very easily triggered and very reactive. It turns men off to see you bitching complaining and snapping at your customers due to that one rude guy triggering you. If they wanted to see that shit, they would be with their wives/gf's. Keep your personal life drama to yourself as well. I was once upon a time reactive, too. Don't let that one customer ruin your night or the vibe of your room. If you get triggered, take a minute to yourself and pull yourself back into the present moment. Triggers are not the enemy...after you gather yourself, your trigger can help you find the underlying issue and the reason why you are triggered...usually stemming from childhood..and then you can truly work on that. If you get set off any time someone says something that bothers you, you will never survive. It is very important to become non reactive when you are in any line of adult work. It makes your life a hell of a lot easier too. Use camming as a catalyst to be more mindful, and make you more aware of your triggers so you can work on them. People are our mirrors even on cam. If you see something in someone that is bothering you, it is showing you what you must work on as well. As far as present moment awareness, the NOW is the only time we really have and is the only time that is important, but many of us are trapped in past and future. These are all mind stories. Why ruminate on the past, it no longer exists. Why worry about a future that is not here yet. The now is the only thing that matters, and we are missing out on it by living in past/future. This is much easier said than done and I still have a lot of work to do in this department. But once it clicks, you will not believe what a difference this makes. I know they do not have the brain power we do, but animals as an example...do they worry about the future? DO they ruminate on a thing that happened a year ago? NO. Nor should we. Our minds are a blessing and a curse, but most importantly a tool. Like a tool we should put our minds to use when necessary, and when we are done we should put the tool down and live in the moment. Sadly, I see more and more that people allow their minds and emotions to run them and not the other way around. We are all in control of our own thoughts and feelings..this can actually be quite upsetting for some people to hear but it is the reality. If you are stressed, depressed, anxious..you have created that issue and keep indulging yourself in it. On top of that the media exists to put and keep us all in a state of fear and worry, playing on the reality of people with no control over their own minds constantly.
Negative energy: Do an energy clearing anytime it is needed. Men can throw negative energy our way even on cam. You can protect yourself from this by clearing your energy field before and after camming, and before you get on cam (along with your affirmations) stating that only energy of the greatest good is allowed into your own energy field and home. If you want to go this far, you can ask for divine protection from the universe ask for safety and protection from negative energy. I know this is a lil out there but many cam models are empathetic and can easily take on sour attitudes projected at us from others.
Breathing: A large majority of society doesn't even breathe right. We are shallow breathers and this increases stress and anxiety. We should all belly breathe, a practice known as diaphragmatic breathing. It is a difficult habit to break but it is possible and will change you and your outlook for the better. To help, I started doing a diaphragmatic breathing guided meditation every morning. This made me more conscious of my pattern of breath throughout the day. The current way we breathe is keeping us in "prey/fear mode" Shallow breathing is part of the fight or flight response and camming is by no means a threat in this way, nor are our day to day very comfortable lives as opposed to our ancestors.
Stance: Work on your posture and power stances...standing and sitting a certain way will make you appear and feel more powerful and in control.
Maintain a life/Get out: Go outside on a walk at least once a day and maintain a social life. Many of us become hermits and I am guilty of this to this day. I have never had a large social circle, but that isnt necessary. Just get out of the house once a day. Even if you just walk to get the mail. Stop ordering things online (i know it is hard not to) and go shop for things in person.
Savings: We all have emergencies and financial challenges. Savings give you a cushion if you need to take time off or have had a shitty month. When you have a good month continue to be frugal as if you are broke. Especially important to put that money aside that is due at tax time and this will save you from owing the IRS a bunch of money.
Comparisons: Stop worrying about what other camgirls are doing, how popular they appear, how much money they seem to be making. Stop comparing your day to another persons day. The only person you need to worry about is you. The only person you are competing with is yourself. We are all unique individuals with our own talents to offer. If you lose a client to another girl, another new client will come.
And last but not least, be honest with yourself. If you can't do this, don't. Don't think it will get any easier "once you build a fanbase/work more, etc" It will not. Be true to yourself and your own values, and do not cross your own boundaries for any type of money. The median camgirl makes 30-50k a year before taxes. This is easily obtainable in other jobs. Camming is not easy or fast money and never was. Many of us stay because of the freedom, but it is so easy to start other businesses and remain self employed in this day and age. If you have other goals/dreams...take the freedom and time you have camming and invest it in those dreams. You have nothing to lose. If you fail, you learn. Always another chance, another opportunity. You are never stuck in camming tho at times it can feel that way. If you want out, get out. Only you are holding your back from accomplishing what you really want.
Just to ensure my message is coming across the way I am hoping it will, I say this all with love and care. When I use the terms we/you I am speaking generally. I have been bitched at in the past for this because people took it as a personal attack and as if I am speaking for everyone. I am not lol. All of the above helped me in my personal journey and camming career, not saying it will help everyone and not attempting to shove the above down everyone's throat. Namaste, bitches.
Cammodels: Managing Stress & Self Care
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