
Originally Posted by
Ladybuggie
I'm having a hard time.
After having a very successful week 2 weeks ago, my schedule got disrupted by real life problems and I've not been online since last Thursday. The longer it passes, the harder it gets to get back on, and it makes me feel really bad about myself even though I know, rationally, that I'm justified to feel this way: I now know for sure that my father has got terminal cancer and he's been given 5 months to live. I'm in a foreign country so I can't be there with my family, and yesterday it was the first time I had the chance to talk to him, since he's been in hospital. I've just been reconnecting with my friends, talking things through, grieving, distracting myself... I feel very lost and frustrated, and like nothing else really matters compared to it, so I've felt zero motivation to get on cam.
Also, I've got ADHD and I'm the only support of my household: my bf has been ill and unemployed for nearly 2 years, so the pressure that was already big is becoming pretty unbearable. Thankfully, now he's getting treatment and he's determined to start earning with a new business he can set up from home, but it's been very, very hard, but it's make or break at this point. I just can't do it on my own. I have lovely friends and people who support me, plus help from my counsellor, but this is really becoming difficult, at least today it feels that way.
However, I don't really have the option to stop and not work, because it's all on me and I need money to go and be with my family, so after a long fight with my brain, I'm getting online. Even if it's just a couple of hours, that's better than nothing. I got this. You girls got this. Thanks for letting me get it off my chest.
Much love <3
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