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Thread: Stripping While Having a Boyfriend

  1. #1
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    Default Stripping While Having a Boyfriend

    Help please sisters!

    I have a wonderful boyfriend who is an entrepreneur but at the phase where money is extremely tight. When we first met I stopped dancing but now it’s like it’s tough for me because money is so tight and I know if I just worked even a day or two with him being supportive it wouldn’t be! Sometimes he’s supportive of the idea of me going back to work again and other times he’s not. I’m trying to figure out how to convince him that maybe if he changes his mind set about it and can not think about it in the typical way that it won’t be a bad experience for him, for us! He’s wanting me to get a regular job or still not work but I really don’t know if I care to do that... call me crazy but I feel like I’d rather still dance and be beautiful and in shape and around other gorgeous women having fun and making money at the same time! For those of you who have successful relationships and dance too can you please give me some tips on how I can help him feel better about the idea of me going back to work or just some tips on how you keep your relationships healthy. I’ve really been itching to go back to work in Vegas (all the lights and high energy!) and I feel like he can just go be in the 24 hour coffee shops while I work lol.

    I hope you all have been doing well in your lives and sending all of you love, joy, and happiness!

    Xx!

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    God/dess Selina M's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripping While Having a Boyfriend

    I'm really bad at answering these questions because I think a lot of men just cannot deal with it no matter how much you explain or try to assuage their issues. Did you stop dancing because of him in the first place? That will make this 10x harder.

    I don't think he should be hanging out in coffee shops waiting for you. That would only make him more aware of you being at work. Let him stay home & do his own thing where he can be distracted.

    As far as tips... YMMV but I think that when I come home & talk about all the complete morons I encountered, it actually helps. It's been made very, very clear to my SO since we started dating 5+ years ago that I only do this job because there's no boss & the $$ is good. He has no illusions that I'm there because I like to party or talk to strange men.
    He also doesn't think about *what* I do at work. He literally goes "Oh she went to work" and that's the end of it, he finds something to do and goes about his night.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

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    Default Re: Stripping While Having a Boyfriend

    Thank you so much sis <3
    I’m going to talk to him tonight and make the conversation from this angle.
    I feel like it will help us so much...
    Thank you for the details!!!

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    Default Re: Stripping While Having a Boyfriend

    Did you quit dancing for him? If so you're doomed and I think you should do whatever you want.

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    Default Re: Stripping While Having a Boyfriend

    Lol sis! Yes I had stopped because he had the usual story, that he couldn't handle it. But that's why I wanted to make the post to get tips on how to change his mind! I know he won't break up with me if I do but his attitude will be toxic for the relationship I feel... like suppressing any emotions he has about it so I want to make him be able to see it in a different light.... But you're right I need to do whatever I want!

    xx!

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    Default Re: Stripping While Having a Boyfriend

    Is this yo husband?

    Okay then you have more leeway with your decision making

    So it’s better to provide than to let ego n pride financially bankrupt a mf.

    Me personally I wouldn’t even ask I’d just pull up with a stack of cash /bills paid - can’t say nothing then!

    Just be prepared to find either a richer or more understanding boyfriend

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    Default Re: Stripping While Having a Boyfriend

    Maybe I'll post a disclaimer first, since I sometimes get told I'm too cynical and nihilistic when it comes to interpersonal interactions with others, especially with anyone who tries putting themselves forth as a prospective romantic partner (they've even nicknamed me "Stonewall" at my vanilla job because of this). So, I don't know if I'm the ideal person to weigh in on this, but I'll try anyhow.

    Pride goeth before the fall. I see this with a lot of my friends and their boyfriends... not so much for me, because I've been single the entire time I've been dancing and then some (and it's not for lack of prospects, but it's a long story and beside the point here).

    He needs to swallow his pride and accept that the situation calls for using what you've got. I wouldn't approach 'the talk' with a tone of asking for permission, I'd be more straightforward. "This is going to happen, and I really need you to understand that". If he's going to be wishy-washy about it, take any semblance of option off the fucking table. Can't make up your mind? Well, I can make up mine.

    Remember that it's still your life above all. Dating someone doesn't mean you hand the reigns over to them and let them tell you how to run it. Of course in a serious relationship, consensus is important, but if they're drowning, you don't let them pull you down with them.
    Last edited by AChildOfBoredom; 06-08-2019 at 07:38 AM.
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    Default Re: Stripping While Having a Boyfriend

    I remember when I quit dancing for a guy and guess how my love and loyalty got repaid? I don’t think there’s talking any sense to a girl in love. I hope for the best I truly do, but in my decade of dancing you know how many girls quit dancing for a guy who is trying to come up and guess what happens when he finally comes up? How does he repay is ride or die chick? I really don’t think young ladies should give the best years of their lives for a chance at true love, I hope I’m wrong. I usually just keep my opinion to myself because I don’t want to be negative. I’m trying to think if I’ve ever seen one happy ending from a girl quitting to support some guy in his ambitions. I really don’t think a girl should sacrifice anything for a guy unless there’s a marriage contract. Maybe don’t listen to me. I have a fuck love give me diamonds attitude. Any real love I have to give goes to myself first, my momma, and my best friend.
    Last edited by Ifyouseekamy; 06-08-2019 at 04:46 AM.

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    Crossfingers Re: Stripping While Having a Boyfriend

    We have MANY threads on this topic..

    However, I came across this, HTH

    Quoting @thekayanova

    This behavior, of lusting after a beautiful & free woman, then wanting to tone down those very qualities once you're together, is odd
    8k retweets, 25k likes.


    It’s because men like to manipulate, mold, and break the spirit of the women they pursue in order to create their own puppet. They know exactly what they’re doing.
    They’ll pursue a woman who’s shy and conservatively dressed and then expect her to dress in lingerie and put on a show for them. They’ll pursue a woman who’s outgoing and dressed to the nines and then expect her to dress down and not talk to other men. DiMaggio married Marilyn Monroe and then wanted her to quit her career and be a housewife. He became enraged when she did a shoot (white dress billowing) and used it as an excuse to beat her so badly that concerned hotel patrons called the police and her makeup artist had to cover the bruises with makeup the next day.

    When asked about that night later on, Joe DiMaggio said, “Things got out of hand, I admit it. But she pissed me off so much. She didn’t care what I thought about anything, she just wanted to do what she wanted to do.”
    Arthur Miller married her, and then constantly picked on her and complained in his journals that she embarrassed him, that she was unintelligent, self-centered, a child, a spoiled brat, and a bitch.

    When I think about men who chase after one kind of woman and then want her to become another kind of woman, I think about her. I think wow you could be Marilyn freaking Monroe and still some man would want you to be somebody else and call that love.

    Really horrendous, don’t buy into it, & waste your precious time!!!n. They do it on purpose. The purpose is conquest.

    But sure, hon, best to you.
    Let us know how it turns out.


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

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    Default Re: Stripping While Having a Boyfriend

    Quote Originally Posted by whirlerz View Post
    We have MANY threads on this topic..
    .
    Here is one example of a thread like this. https://www.stripperweb.com/forum/sh...uture-together

    The boyfriend that I broke up with three months ago would also flip flop on “sometimes being supportive sometimes not.” And let’s face it, in my case (and I’m assuming yours) it’s more accurately described as “someone’s being tolerant, sometimes not.” Not support.

    In my case, he didn’t like it when I went out of town to another city to hang out with him and worked (when I had tuition and other bills to attend to) And I couldn’t bring up anything related to my job without him getting sarcastic like “what do you expect” or just outright “I don’t want to hear this”...yet I’d listen to him and be an ear for all of his day-to-day work venting.

    But it was tolerated just enough as long as I finish my degree and find a corporate job in a city about 2,000 miles away. I was about to do it too, but then I got cold feet. Because he’s a perfectly good person but the expectation was to revolve my life around his needs at the expense of pursuing what I wanted. And it was one of those things I was allowing to happen and it would have happened further if I didn’t put it into writing and thought about it more clearly.

    Fast forward. and now I’m road tripping as a vagabond dancer. Something that I had always wanted to do, but kept putting it off for one reason or another. Having really cool experiences and just in a generally happy place right now. And working on my skills to develop my other income streams, but it will happen on my own unhurried timeline. The way I want it to be

    New relationship energy is like a drug, it’s a wonderful high. But don’t allow yourself to do anything you may regret for its sake. Because in this case, I think you have to choose either dancing or the boyfriend and not both without sacrificing the quality of either one.

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    Default Re: Stripping While Having a Boyfriend

    Quote Originally Posted by whirlerz View Post
    It’s because men like to manipulate, mold, and break the spirit of the women they pursue in order to create their own puppet. They know exactly what they’re doing.
    It's completely true that men do this! So many of them. I don't know if they know what they're doing, I think it can also happen without them realizing. But the point is whether you play along or not.

    I think it's wise to define a line for yourself up to which you will compromise for harmony's sake. Don't just let men manipulate you to no end.

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    Default Re: Stripping While Having a Boyfriend

    Yeah. Meet a 21 year old virgin ITC, relieve him of said virginity, have a few messy breakups, reconciliations, throw in a suicide attempt, add some insignificant arm candy in the interim, and you have the successful making of a decade long relationship.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
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    Default Re: Stripping While Having a Boyfriend

    Whatever it is that you want to do,

    Go to college, climb Mt Everest, watch every episode of The Price is Right, learn to cook, have a baby, don’t have a baby, watch porn every day, become a missionary, spend all your money on luxury goods, write a book, buy a house, use meth, get a pixie haircut, get fake boobs, become a body builder, disown your family, go vegan, start a dog training business, steal, have a threesome, save all your money, ORRRRR

    BECOME A STRIPPER,

    WHATEVER it is that you want to do, whatever it is that will make you happy, you have to surround yourself with people who will support you.

    If they don’t support you, they don’t want your happiness and if you aren’t happy your relationship isn’t going to last.

    Do what you need to do for the most happiness, and if people in your life can’t support your happiness

    FUCK EM.

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    Default Re: Stripping While Having a Boyfriend

    I wish I had advice, but I don't. I've been with my bf for over 4 years, dancing the entire time. He hates it and it causes tension between us often. I feel like I have to hide everything from him and I can't even discuss work. He always thinks I'm cheating on him or lying about something. It's pretty draining but Im in college and will be done soon, so I feel he's waiting on me to quit. We will see how it goes, but I honestly don't want to quit. I'm 30 and I still have a few good years to do this.. I want to make money. It barely ever works for anyone. Men have to be extremely confident and trusting or maybe work in the industry as well.

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    Default Re: Stripping While Having a Boyfriend

    All I have to say is that, if you have certain goals and feel like stripping(or any other job for that matter) is going to provide them then do it. Men come and go.... stick to the guy who will support your decisions. If he has a problem with that and not paying your bills on top of that, I'd be out. Life passes by quick... don't waste your time.

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    Default Re: Stripping While Having a Boyfriend

    I wouldn’t quit. If someone says they accept you for who you are then what you do comes with the territory. Dancing helped to weed out insecure men faster then any other career because it’s puts issues like insecurity very up front. He should be asking himself why this makes him feel this way instead of putting the blame on you.

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    Default Re: Stripping While Having a Boyfriend

    Given my previous experience with EVERY guy I have dated while either dancing or contemplating dancing ... Do. Not. Bother. With men. At all. During this time. Guys are extremely selfish when it comes to this and while I respect and admire the couples who make it work when one or both works in this industry, they tend to be the exception rather than the rule.

    For starters, every guy I have dated promised Promised PROMISED they wouldn't broadcast my job to any and all. HAH! Yeah, no. That's not how that worked out. Every one of them outed me without my permission, essentially for 'Yeah bro/Mom(!!!) I'm bangin' a stripper' bragging rights ... and then had the gall to get nasty with me when I found out and was angry about it. Anything from whigning 'but I'm so proud of how amazing and strong you are' bullshit, to name-calling and screaming. And not a single one of them ever stood up for me when their friends or family treated me like a zoo animal or called me horrible names.

    Not only can most guys not keep their damn mouths shut -- if they have any manipulative tendencies, your job will be one massive ammo depot for them when they want to have a go at you, or shut you up when you get on them about some aspect of their behaviour that's not acceptable.

    I truly hope your guy wouldn't stoop to these sorts of things, but the fact that he's waffling between 'being ok with it' and not is not a good sign. He will not be thrilled at you going back when you already quit For Him (deliberate capitalisation there) once. You've admitted here that you know his response will be toxic even if he doesn't leave you over it. Save yourself the additional bullshit and start detaching from him now.

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  32. #18
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    Default Re: Stripping While Having a Boyfriend

    ^Yes sadly most men cant handle it and its easier to hustle without the dead weight n guilt trips

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