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Thread: Question from Custie to Black Dancers

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    Default Question from Custie to Black Dancers

    So, lately I find myself very attracted to black girls. I've always been attracted to girls of all races and colors, but lately, it's been heavy towards black or darker brown. I'm not saying that is the only qualification, obviously, she also has to be beautiful and have a certain body type: a little thick, but, not too thick.

    It is very disappointing that there are few black dancers in the nicer clubs in Houston.

    I'm a middle-aged upper-middle class professional Latino. I actually grew up in a minority neighborhood with 99% Hispanics and Blacks, but, my post-college adult life has been almost an exact opposite, about 80% white. I currently have no black friends, not because I don't want to, but, because there are no black people where I work or in my neighborhood.

    My question is about being politically correct and racially sensitive. When I compliment a black dancer, is it safe to mention race and color or should I avoid it? For example, is it okay to say something like, "I love your black skin." or "I love black girls." Or is that a bad compliment, like I am I fetishizing their color or race?

    What is the most politically correct way to refer to women that have dark brown or black pigmentation? "Women of color" seems to be the modern trend. Is "black" not PC anymore? It used to be that "African-American" was politically correct, but, a many people with black pigmentation are from the Carribean Islands. I guess you can argue that their ancestors came from Africa,... but, if you take such a broad view, then we are all African-American. "Ebony" seems to be the term used in porn. But, porn is not the leading authority on PC, so, I don't know. Is "ebony" okay or offensive?

    Any other tips for being a good custie with black dancers. (Other than the obvious about spending a lot and leaving a good tip.)
    Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
    - Oscar Wilde

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    Default Re: Question from Custie to Black Dancers

    Why cant you just say you are attracted to a beautiful woman. period no need to mention her color. Everything in the past few years and the how do we speak to people without offending them.

    I know a lot of Beautiful Women. I'm sure you do too. just see them as such and your just fine. Why do you have to pigeonhole anyone by mentioning their skin color.

    Personally I think all the effort to create PC behavior has done far more harm than good in all aspects.

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    Default Re: Question from Custie to Black Dancers

    Oh IDK you could just say "wow you're so hot/beautiful/gorgeous"!

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    Default Re: Question from Custie to Black Dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post
    So, lately I find myself very attracted to black girls. I've always been attracted to girls of all races and colors, but lately, it's been heavy towards black or darker brown. I'm not saying that is the only qualification, obviously, she also has to be beautiful and have a certain body type: a little thick, but, not too thick.

    It is very disappointing that there are few black dancers in the nicer clubs in Houston.

    I'm a middle-aged upper-middle class professional Latino. I actually grew up in a minority neighborhood with 99% Hispanics and Blacks, but, my post-college adult life has been almost an exact opposite, about 80% white. I currently have no black friends, not because I don't want to, but, because there are no black people where I work or in my neighborhood.

    My question is about being politically correct and racially sensitive. When I compliment a black dancer, is it safe to mention race and color or should I avoid it? For example, is it okay to say something like, "I love your black skin." or "I love black girls." Or is that a bad compliment, like I am I fetishizing their color or race?

    What is the most politically correct way to refer to women that have dark brown or black pigmentation? "Women of color" seems to be the modern trend. Is "black" not PC anymore? It used to be that "African-American" was politically correct, but, a many people with black pigmentation are from the Carribean Islands. I guess you can argue that their ancestors came from Africa,... but, if you take such a broad view, then we are all African-American. "Ebony" seems to be the term used in porn. But, porn is not the leading authority on PC, so, I don't know. Is "ebony" okay or offensive?

    Any other tips for being a good custie with black dancers. (Other than the obvious about spending a lot and leaving a good tip.)
    First get some black friends or at least associates so you can understand black culture and what not to say.

    I highly doubt the women would care what you say as long as you pay them well BUT if you want to be politically correct just ask them what is their ethnicity and how they prefer to refer to themselves and say that.

    You don’t even have to bring up race just say DAMN!!! You lookin good!

    Ebony? Um no. Most porn is not instructional. Is just fantasy entertainment.

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    Default Re: Question from Custie to Black Dancers

    Sorry but I am not buying this wanting to be PC crap. Let me be real with you; it seems like you whitewashed and Anglicized yourself after leaving your community during your college years. Now, you do not know how to act around other minorities groups in the club despite being an minority yourself. One also argue you did not interacted with the blacks in your community growing up and seem awkward around them.Maybe this why you do not have any black professional friends? Also, it sounds pretty weird to use porn words to describe black dancers in the club. One wonders if you would use porn words to describe the Latina and Asian dancers as well? Now, this is how it sounds to me in this thread. Also, why did you have to stated you did not have any black friends? If you grew up around black and brown people, it should not be hard for you to engaged with black people period unless you had issues with that before leaving your community. Maybe you should connect with black and brown professional men who speak with about these types of issues. Also, how do you know all of those black girls in the club are African-American? I am sure many of them are Afro-Caribbean or Afro-Latina. As an latino, you should know that there are blacks in Latin America. It's just creepy to say " I guess you can argue that their ancestors came from Africa, if you take such a broad view, then we are all African-American" "Ebony seems to be the term used in porn."I think you already know the answer to these questions.


    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post
    So, lately I find myself very attracted to black girls. I've always been attracted to girls of all races and colors, but lately, it's been heavy towards black or darker brown. I'm not saying that is the only qualification, obviously, she also has to be beautiful and have a certain body type: a little thick, but, not too thick.

    It is very disappointing that there are few black dancers in the nicer clubs in Houston.

    I'm a middle-aged upper-middle class professional Latino. I actually grew up in a minority neighborhood with 99% Hispanics and Blacks, but, my post-college adult life has been almost an exact opposite, about 80% white. I currently have no black friends, not because I don't want to, but, because there are no black people where I work or in my neighborhood.

    My question is about being politically correct and racially sensitive. When I compliment a black dancer, is it safe to mention race and color or should I avoid it? For example, is it okay to say something like, "I love your black skin." or "I love black girls." Or is that a bad compliment, like I am I fetishizing their color or race?

    What is the most politically correct way to refer to women that have dark brown or black pigmentation? "Women of color" seems to be the modern trend. Is "black" not PC anymore? It used to be that "African-American" was politically correct, but, a many people with black pigmentation are from the Carribean Islands. I guess you can argue that their ancestors came from Africa,... but, if you take such a broad view, then we are all African-American. "Ebony" seems to be the term used in porn. But, porn is not the leading authority on PC, so, I don't know. Is "ebony" okay or offensive?

    Any other tips for being a good custie with black dancers. (Other than the obvious about spending a lot and leaving a good tip.)
    Wolves may lurk in every guise / Now as then, 'tis simple truth / Sweetest tongue has sharpest tooth.

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    Default Re: Question from Custie to Black Dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post
    It is very disappointing that there are few black dancers in the nicer clubs in Houston.
    Every time you go to one of those clubs you should ask to speak to the owner. Tell them you'd like to see more black dancers in the club. But make sure to establish yourself as a spender. Sometimes they do listen to the clientele.

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    Default Re: Question from Custie to Black Dancers

    Jack man I have to ask brother - you wanted to take nude art pics, now you are thinking about skin color and wanting to connect with your youth - any chance you are hitting kind of mid life crisis? I don't say this to be mean or judgmental, just asking.
    Where Am I? Missing NYC

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    Default Re: Question from Custie to Black Dancers

    Yeah, i think any time you call out someone's skin tone, you risk coming across as creepy (think, silence of the lambs) or like you're looking to fetishize them for their race. I just wouldn't go there. Start with, "you're so beautiful," and shy away from anything that starts to get into specifics about skin. Anything beyond, "your skin is flawless!" will start to get weird. If you find yourself mentally comparing her skin to food or racial stereotypes, put a mental muzzle on those comments. She doesn't need to hear that she's a chocolate goddess or that her breasts look like caramel cupcakes.

    Which brings me to my main point. And i mean this very seriously. Are you finding yourself wanting to give a race-specific compliment to try to make up for some of the racial injustices and inequalities that you're aware of? I'm assuming you don't give white girls compliments about their Beautiful White Skin or Gorgeous Caucasian Coloration. So i think it's good for you to ask yourself why you feel compelled to let these women know that you find their black skin beautiful. It seems like there might be something subconscious to unpack there. Stripping is a fairly racist industry, so if you feel like i might be on to something, then i can understand why you'd thiiiiiink it could be a good idea to call out your enjoyment of black skin. But I'd just keep those comments to yourself after doing some self- reflection.

    I'm not a WOC and am not trying to be their voice. Just speaking in generalizations based on my background and understanding of the OP's situation.

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    Default Re: Question from Custie to Black Dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post
    So, lately I find myself very attracted to black girls. I've always been attracted to girls of all races and colors, but lately, it's been heavy towards black or darker brown. I'm not saying that is the only qualification, obviously, she also has to be beautiful and have a certain body type: a little thick, but, not too thick.

    It is very disappointing that there are few black dancers in the nicer clubs in Houston.

    I'm a middle-aged upper-middle class professional Latino. I actually grew up in a minority neighborhood with 99% Hispanics and Blacks, but, my post-college adult life has been almost an exact opposite, about 80% white. I currently have no black friends, not because I don't want to, but, because there are no black people where I work or in my neighborhood.

    My question is about being politically correct and racially sensitive. When I compliment a black dancer, is it safe to mention race and color or should I avoid it? For example, is it okay to say something like, "I love your black skin." or "I love black girls." Or is that a bad compliment, like I am I fetishizing their color or race?

    What is the most politically correct way to refer to women that have dark brown or black pigmentation? "Women of color" seems to be the modern trend. Is "black" not PC anymore? It used to be that "African-American" was politically correct, but, a many people with black pigmentation are from the Carribean Islands. I guess you can argue that their ancestors came from Africa,... but, if you take such a broad view, then we are all African-American. "Ebony" seems to be the term used in porn. But, porn is not the leading authority on PC, so, I don't know. Is "ebony" okay or offensive?

    Any other tips for being a good custie with black dancers. (Other than the obvious about spending a lot and leaving a good tip.)
    Or, say you find black or darker skinned women so beautiful.
    Last edited by yaya_cash; 06-24-2019 at 09:33 AM.

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    Default Re: Question from Custie to Black Dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by miss.a.p1600 View Post
    First get some black friends or at least associates so you can understand black culture and what not to say.

    I highly doubt the women would care what you say as long as you pay them well BUT if you want to be politically correct just ask them what is their ethnicity and how they prefer to refer to themselves and say that.

    You don’t even have to bring up race just say DAMN!!! You lookin good!

    Ebony? Um no. Most porn is not instructional. Is just fantasy entertainment.
    Or just say how would you prefer me to see you or refer to you?.

    And they might just say their name, or being human.
    Last edited by yaya_cash; 06-24-2019 at 09:34 AM.

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    Default Re: Question from Custie to Black Dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by PhatGirlDynomite!!! View Post
    Every time you go to one of those clubs you should ask to speak to the owner. Tell them you'd like to see more black dancers in the club. But make sure to establish yourself as a spender. Sometimes they do listen to the clientele.
    Those managers working in the "gentlemen clubs" there are so bias and bigot that they don't care to concern themselves with a customer's interest in having (more) entertainers of African descent. They want blondes and more blondes. And they'll take light skinned Cubans-- And others depending upon the deal.

    And maybe try Club Oynx if St. James or Treasure's isn't doing it for you. Unless you want to go in to the lesser clubs and try to find a gem.I
    Last edited by yaya_cash; 06-24-2019 at 09:42 AM.

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    Default Re: Question from Custie to Black Dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by DonaDiabla View Post
    Sorry but I am not buying this wanting to be PC crap. Let me be real with you; it seems like you whitewashed and Anglicized yourself after leaving your community during your college years.
    If you call going to college, and then law school, and then a law firm, and living in an upper middle-class neighborhood "whitewashing and Anglicizing" myself, then so be it. It is very sad that, when someone a kid from the ghetto pursues an education, and, moves up in the world, some people like you call it "whitewashing" and "Anglicizing". I am supposed to show you what a proud Latino I am by staying in the ghetto for the rest of my life?

    Quote Originally Posted by DonaDiabla View Post
    Now, you do not know how to act around other minorities groups in the club despite being an minority yourself. )
    I never said that. I know exactly what to say around Latinas.

    Quote Originally Posted by DonaDiabla View Post
    One also argue you did not interacted with the blacks in your community growing up and seem awkward around them.
    I interacted very well with blacks in my community growing up. But, I was a very different person back then. I was in the neighborhood 'crew' and I was a graffitti artist and got in trouble now and then. I totally fit in with my hood. I could be very scary when I had to be.

    Quote Originally Posted by DonaDiabla View Post
    Maybe you should connect with black and brown professional men who speak with about these types of issues.
    Think about what you are saying. If I see a black guy in a suit and briefcase, am I supposed to walk up to him and say, "Hi there. I want a black professional friend. Will you be my friend?" I HAVE HAD black professional friends that were colleagues working with me in the same company. But, these friendship occurred ORGANICALLY, and not, because I set out to find a black professional to be my friend. Ten years ago was the last time I worked closely with a black professional. But, CURRENTLY, I have no colleagues or neighbors that are black.

    Quote Originally Posted by DonaDiabla View Post
    Also, how do you know all of those black girls in the club are African-American? I am sure many of them are Afro-Caribbean or Afro-Latina. As an latino, you should know that there are blacks in Latin America.
    Of course I do, that's why I asked the question. I can tell a Dominican dark-skinned person apart from an African-American, but, I can't tell apart other Carribbean people. If you met me, you would not know whether I am Mexican, Puerto Rican or Colombian - I've been called all three. But, you can call me Hispanic or Latino without offending me. So, my question was what is the best term to avoid offending anyone. 'Women of color' seems to be the trend.

    You know, it is very disappointing when someone asks a question about being more racially sensitive only to be attacked for it.
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    Default Re: Question from Custie to Black Dancers

    Actually, I wasn't attacking you,Jack0177057 but making of observation as both an woman of color and as someone who grew up in those same neighborhoods as you did. First of all, I was talking about "Whitewashing" and "Anglicizing" in this thread because you seem like you wanted to distance yourself from your past to the point where you don't know to interacted with blacks in the club or life. I never stated that based on your education or you wanted to be successful. I am educated woman from the hood who never had to whitewash, anglicized or even Westernized myself. I know how to conduct myself around both the people I went to school with and professionals of color.I understand that talking about "Whitewashing" and "Anglicizing" is hard for some minorities to talk about but I rather be real with you.I said that because you made statements you made in your first post in this thread that made me think of that you had some problems with this before. You know, that you need to appear more Anglo because your job and current lifestyle demands you be more Anglicized. We all know how corporate America works and how many minorities must fit in with the W.A.S.P elite at the top.
    If this was not the case, you would actively hang out with other professional brown and black men. If this was not the case, you would know how to speak with an black woman without making weird stereotypical statements.Secondly, I really do not see the difference between how one should treated Latinas and other women of color in the strip club. Actually, you proved my point because you clearly know to talk to Latinas without stereotyping them. But you do not know how to address the women of African descent the same way. Thirdly, it's troubling that you only know Dominicans have African heritage in the Latin-America. What about the rest of the Latin America or Caribbean? Clearly, you just do not have that much experience around Afro-Caribbean and other Afro-Latinos other than Dominicans. Fourthly, if I do not know where someone is from...I would just asked. No need to jump to conclusions based on looks.Rather, I allow people to tell me how they identify themselves rather than me identifying other people. Fifthly, Women of color covers most non-white women including the Romani and Arab women as well. Just to let you know that "people of color" means everyone whose not white. It's more simplistic term for "non-whites". Sixth, I do not consider not being able to speak to another minority group that you have used to hang around being more "racially sensitive". Again, I am not criticizing you but making an observation on your statements in this thread. Again, all you have to do is tell your favorite black dancer how pretty she is, tip well her, enjoy and go about your business. Simple! No hard feelings.

    Here's some links about Blacks in Latin America and the Caribbean:

    http://www.pbs.org/black-culture/sho...latin-america/

    http://projects.thepostathens.com/Sp...dad/index.html

    Here's an link about Anglicized oneself at work:

    https://hbr.org/2016/10/u-s-latinos-...selves-at-work

    http://edition.cnn.com/2000/fyi/teac...ez2/index.html

    Here's some links about the whitewashing problem with some Latinos:

    https://sites.northwestern.edu/newer...shing-of-race/

    http://watercoolerconvos.com/2014/05...-its-not-good/

    http://www.latinheat.com/everything-.../film/8958/89/


    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post
    If you call going to college, and then law school, and then a law firm, and living in an upper middle-class neighborhood "whitewashing and Anglicizing" myself, then so be it. It is very sad that, when someone a kid from the ghetto pursues an education, and, moves up in the world, some people like you call it "whitewashing" and "Anglicizing". I am supposed to show you what a proud Latino I am by staying in the ghetto for the rest of my life?



    I never said that. I know exactly what to say around Latinas.



    I interacted very well with blacks in my community growing up. But, I was a very different person back then. I was in the neighborhood 'crew' and I was a graffitti artist and got in trouble now and then. I totally fit in with my hood. I could be very scary when I had to be.



    Think about what you are saying. If I see a black guy in a suit and briefcase, am I supposed to walk up to him and say, "Hi there. I want a black professional friend. Will you be my friend?" I HAVE HAD black professional friends that were colleagues working with me in the same company. But, these friendship occurred ORGANICALLY, and not, because I set out to find a black professional to be my friend. Ten years ago was the last time I worked closely with a black professional. But, CURRENTLY, I have no colleagues or neighbors that are black.



    Of course I do, that's why I asked the question. I can tell a Dominican dark-skinned person apart from an African-American, but, I can't tell apart other Carribbean people. If you met me, you would not know whether I am Mexican, Puerto Rican or Colombian - I've been called all three. But, you can call me Hispanic or Latino without offending me. So, my question was what is the best term to avoid offending anyone. 'Women of color' seems to be the trend.

    You know, it is very disappointing when someone asks a question about being more racially sensitive only to be attacked for it.
    Last edited by DonaDiabla; 06-24-2019 at 02:32 PM. Reason: More information
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    Default Re: Question from Custie to Black Dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by DonaDiabla View Post
    If this was not the case, you would know how to speak with an black woman without making weird stereotypical statements. Secondly, I really do not see the difference between how one should treated Latinas and other women of color in the strip club. Actually, you proved my point because you clearly know to talk to Latinas without stereotyping them.
    With a Latina, I speak the language - "Mi amor! Mi belleza!" I can say in Spanish something like, "I love your Latina curves." We can talk about salsa music, reggaeton, Latino culture, etc. Many of them are very ethnic and like ethnic compliments. For example, "I love Puerto Rican girls! Only a Puerto Rican [or Columbian, Dominican, etc.] can have a body like that!" and this is well received.

    But, if I say, "I love your Black curves? Only a black girl has curves like that!", is this cool or will I be accused of fetishizing black women? I don't know. That was the whole point of this thread. Some here suggest I leave the word "black" out of my compliments. It is very different with Latinas.

    What weird stereotypical statements have I made?

    Quote Originally Posted by DonaDiabla View Post
    Thirdly, it's troubling that you only know Dominicans have African heritage in the Latin-America. What about the rest of the Latin America or Caribbean? Clearly, you just do not have that much experience around Afro-Caribbean and other Afro-Latinos other than Dominicans.
    That's not at all what I said. I said I can't tell them apart. Unless, they speak Spanish, Jamaican or Haitian, or are dressed in their ethnic clothing (or dancing to ethnic music, singing ethnic songs, etc.), I cannot tell Afro-Caribbean or Afro-Latinos apart from African-Americans. (And before you get upset about this, I guarantee that you would not be able to tell me apart from Puerto Rican, Colombian, Mexican, Venezuelen, etc. Also, I don't think all Afro-Caribbeans consider themselves Afro-Latinos. For example, Haitians do not speak any Spanish and are not Latinos.) We had lots of dark-skinned Dominicans in my NYC neighborhood and part of my extended family is Dominican by marriage and offspring. I've known a few Jamaicans and Haitians, but, that's about the extent of my experience with Afro-Caribbean and Afro-Latinos.

    Quote Originally Posted by DonaDiabla View Post
    Fourthly, if I do not know where someone is from...I would just asked.
    How do you even ask this question? If they are descendants of African slaves, I don't think they will know what nation of Africa their ancestors where kidnapped from. They were robbed of their heritage. Won't this question bring up America's shameful past? Maybe a safer question is, "Do you consider yourself African American?" ? If the answer is no, then, "Carribean?"

    What do you consider yourself to be?

    Quote Originally Posted by DonaDiabla View Post
    Again, all you have to do is tell your favorite black dancer how pretty she is, tip well her, enjoy and go about your business. Simple!
    One time, I told a black dancer she was pretty and she asked me, "What do you like about me?" I told her I loved her face and her body and the color of her skin and I loved her hair (which turned out to be fake).
    Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
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    Default Re: Question from Custie to Black Dancers

    Jack I think you have missed 90% of whats posted. Stop thinking you have to say Latina or puerto rican, or black, or anything other than, "I think your beautiful or I like your curves."

    You are ovethinking this whole thing. When asked why? You say I just do and then talk to them like they are women. not women of color, not black, not latina, just women.

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    Default Re: Question from Custie to Black Dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by yaya_cash View Post
    Those managers working in the "gentlemen clubs" there are so bias and bigot that they don't care to concern themselves with a customer's interest in having (more) entertainers of African descent. They want blondes and more blondes. And they'll take light skinned Cubans-- And others depending upon the deal.

    And maybe try Club Oynx if St. James or Treasure's isn't doing it for you. Unless you want to go in to the lesser clubs and try to find a gem.I
    If we all stop going by skin color, on both sides of the coin, half the drama in the world would end.

    Creating blame doesnt help matters. Assuming because hiring practices are biased or bigotted or racist, is assumption. True some may be all three but to blindly assume such is just as wrong.

    Its all about what Business the club owners wish to run.

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    Default Re: Question from Custie to Black Dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post
    If you call going to college, and then law school, and then a law firm, and living in an upper middle-class neighborhood "whitewashing and Anglicizing" myself, then so be it. It is very sad that, when someone a kid from the ghetto pursues an education, and, moves up in the world, some people like you call it "whitewashing" and "Anglicizing". I am supposed to show you what a proud Latino I am by staying in the ghetto for the rest of my life?
    True this, white guys don't get asked this - we get nothing but praise for "bettering ourselves". That's not really fair.

    BTW I'm officially asking PGD!!! to monitor this thread for if it gets out of hand. I'm sure oldster will support me in that. I'm all for civil discussion and learning, but we're here to support our people.
    Last edited by Bahuba; 06-24-2019 at 06:01 PM.
    Where Am I? Missing NYC

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  32. #18
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    Default Re: Question from Custie to Black Dancers

    Well, you present an interesting problem for yourself! Because there's so many variables to what you said in this post here. I mean what happens when there's an Latina who does not speak Spanish in the club? Or who does not like Salsa or Reggaeton? By the way, I never stated that Afro-Caribbean people are all Latino or consider themselves Latino. Because that's frankly not how it works. Many different European lands colonized the Caribbean including Danish....it would not make sense to make it seem like they are all Latinos. But that's my not point, my point is this that you should just talk to black dancers like you would do other dancers, tip well, enjoy, and move along.

    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post
    With a Latina, I speak the language - "Mi amor! Mi belleza!" I can say in Spanish something like, "I love your Latina curves." We can talk about salsa music, reggaeton, Latino culture, etc. Many of them are very ethnic and like ethnic compliments. For example, "I love Puerto Rican girls! Only a Puerto Rican [or Columbian, Dominican, etc.] can have a body like that!" and this is well received.

    But, if I say, "I love your Black curves? Only a black girl has curves like that!", is this cool or will I be accused of fetishizing black women? I don't know. That was the whole point of this thread. Some here suggest I leave the word "black" out of my compliments. It is very different with Latinas.

    What weird stereotypical statements have I made?



    That's not at all what I said. I said I can't tell them apart. Unless, they speak Spanish, Jamaican or Haitian, or are dressed in their ethnic clothing (or dancing to ethnic music, singing ethnic songs, etc.), I cannot tell Afro-Caribbean or Afro-Latinos apart from African-Americans. (And before you get upset about this, I guarantee that you would not be able to tell me apart from Puerto Rican, Colombian, Mexican, Venezuelen, etc. Also, I don't think all Afro-Caribbeans consider themselves Afro-Latinos. For example, Haitians do not speak any Spanish and are not Latinos.) We had lots of dark-skinned Dominicans in my NYC neighborhood and part of my extended family is Dominican by marriage and offspring. I've known a few Jamaicans and Haitians, but, that's about the extent of my experience with Afro-Caribbean and Afro-Latinos.



    How do you even ask this question? If they are descendants of African slaves, I don't think they will know what nation of Africa their ancestors where kidnapped from. They were robbed of their heritage. Won't this question bring up America's shameful past? Maybe a safer question is, "Do you consider yourself African American?" ? If the answer is no, then, "Carribean?"

    What do you consider yourself to be?



    One time, I told a black dancer she was pretty and she asked me, "What do you like about me?" I told her I loved her face and her body and the color of her skin and I loved her hair (which turned out to be fake).
    Wolves may lurk in every guise / Now as then, 'tis simple truth / Sweetest tongue has sharpest tooth.

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    Default Re: Question from Custie to Black Dancers

    Yeah, I was not talking about his educational background when I was talking about Whitewashing or Anglicization. I just wanted to make to clear that up

    Quote Originally Posted by Bahuba View Post
    True this, white guys don't get asked this - we get nothing but praise for "bettering ourselves". That's not really fair.

    BTW I'm officially asking PGD!!! to monitor this thread for if it gets out of hand with the whole racial element. I'm sure oldster will support me in that. I'm all for civil discussion and learning, but we're here to support our people.
    Wolves may lurk in every guise / Now as then, 'tis simple truth / Sweetest tongue has sharpest tooth.

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    Default Re: Question from Custie to Black Dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by OmegaWest View Post
    If we all stop going by skin color, on both sides of the coin, half the drama in the world would end.

    Creating blame doesnt help matters. Assuming because hiring practices are biased or bigotted or racist, is assumption. True some may be all three but to blindly assume such is just as wrong.

    Its all about what Business the club owners wish to run.
    I have heard these claims from the horses mouth, so it isn't assumption. And the owners who are mideastern, that own many of the clubs seem okay with keeping these managers, with they're practices. And Houston or Texas (and Austin is the supposedly exception) doesn't have the most educated, cultured or open minded people. So I guess they're catering to a lot of ignorant, bias and bigot customers.
    Last edited by yaya_cash; 06-24-2019 at 05:38 PM.

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    Default Re: Question from Custie to Black Dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post
    With a Latina, I speak the language - "Mi amor! Mi belleza!" I can say in Spanish something like, "I love your Latina curves." We can talk about salsa music, reggaeton, Latino culture, etc. Many of them are very ethnic and like ethnic compliments. For example, "I love Puerto Rican girls! Only a Puerto Rican [or Columbian, Dominican, etc.] can have a body like that!" and this is well received.

    But, if I say, "I love your Black curves? Only a black girl has curves like that!", is this cool or will I be accused of fetishizing black women? I don't know. That was the whole point of this thread. Some here suggest I leave the word "black" out of my compliments. It is very different with Latinas.

    What weird stereotypical statements have I made?



    That's not at all what I said. I said I can't tell them apart. Unless, they speak Spanish, Jamaican or Haitian, or are dressed in their ethnic clothing (or dancing to ethnic music, singing ethnic songs, etc.), I cannot tell Afro-Caribbean or Afro-Latinos apart from African-Americans. (And before you get upset about this, I guarantee that you would not be able to tell me apart from Puerto Rican, Colombian, Mexican, Venezuelen, etc. Also, I don't think all Afro-Caribbeans consider themselves Afro-Latinos. For example, Haitians do not speak any Spanish and are not Latinos.) We had lots of dark-skinned Dominicans in my NYC neighborhood and part of my extended family is Dominican by marriage and offspring. I've known a few Jamaicans and Haitians, but, that's about the extent of my experience with Afro-Caribbean and Afro-Latinos.



    How do you even ask this question? If they are descendants of African slaves, I don't think they will know what nation of Africa their ancestors where kidnapped from. They were robbed of their heritage. Won't this question bring up America's shameful past? Maybe a safer question is, "Do you consider yourself African American?" ? If the answer is no, then, "Carribean?"

    What do you consider yourself to be?



    One time, I told a black dancer she was pretty and she asked me, "What do you like about me?" I told her I loved her face and her body and the color of her skin and I loved her hair (which turned out to be fake).
    The difference is Jack, that you claim to be Puerto Rican and the ethnic comments/compliments to other Latina are well received because you are apart of the group like them....

    To a person with more dominant African ancestry, you might be considered an 'outsider' (depending on how much African ancestry you have since you are Puerto Rican or how far removed you are from other cultures aside from your own).

    Therefore to understand someones culture who is different from yours you simply ASK THEM how do they self identify, what do they prefer, etc. Some may not care while others may be offended. It's not a one size fits all sort of thing.

    And since you don't know them like that and you are not as familiar with black culture as you are with Latin culture, then to be on the safe side just give a generic compliment (until you know what the lady prefers)....Like several of the wise ladies who have a lot more experience than you have suggested....

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    Default Re: Question from Custie to Black Dancers

    as a latina, i totally agree with miss.a.p1600...i'm saying this as a latina born in the states, highly educated, raised by parents desperate to "white-wash" their kids, traveled the world, etc.

    I love the ethnic comments coming from a latino male (especially the ones you discussed above...but that could also just be me!)...saying that, for me, they would never be received the same from another race, white, black, asian, etc. in this case, i agree that you would be considered an "outsider." keep it to beautiful, gorgeous, exotic, etc. if some white/black/asian/whatever race guy was telling me about my "latina curves" or whatever else about my race specific look, i'd be completely put off. there's something about that "insider" factor that's ok.

    maybe say things like "i'm intoxicated by your [exotic] look" or something to that effect.

    i get a lot that ask me about my "heritage." that might be a good start if you're wanting to find out about ethnic background.




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