Hey there, just venting
im going back to dancing after 8 months off. I was suppose to go today. I got home early, showered, did make up but wasn’t paying attention to the time and chalked today up as a practice run for tomorrow. I told my sister if I don’t go tomorrow I have to cash app her $20, so she’s holding me accountable. I wanted to give it another run since I feel like I’ve gotten more comfortable and finally told my mom what I do. That weight lifted off my shoulders is a feeling that I’ve been chasing for so long. To still be loved and not shamed by my mom and family means the world to me. I feel like like I can make the most of dancing this time because Im walking in my truth. I urge anyone that hasn’t had the hard conversation to have it. Especially if you feel like it’s holding you back in your relationships that you value or you feel like your hiding a secret. I used alcohol to cope with those feelings and after a suggestion from a therapist to write down the 5 most emotionally uncomfortable situations that your running from and tackle the hardest one first. That for me was telling my Christian mother that I strip. My mother told me that “when the world is condemning you, I’ll will be the one to pick you up and shield you”. Of course after that she said that she know this isn’t my last stop in life and will continue to stand by me and pray for me no matter what.
i hope this helps anyone that is struggling with this. I can tell you my anxiety went down to a 3 from a 10 after this conversation. I know that in order to have great money making nights I have to be clear and free and this has definitely helped with the momentum. You ladies are stronger than you think. Have a great day!



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