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Thread: Coming Clean to parents in order to have clarity

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    Member LolaLang25's Avatar
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    Default Coming Clean to parents in order to have clarity

    Hey there, just venting

    im going back to dancing after 8 months off. I was suppose to go today. I got home early, showered, did make up but wasn’t paying attention to the time and chalked today up as a practice run for tomorrow. I told my sister if I don’t go tomorrow I have to cash app her $20, so she’s holding me accountable. I wanted to give it another run since I feel like I’ve gotten more comfortable and finally told my mom what I do. That weight lifted off my shoulders is a feeling that I’ve been chasing for so long. To still be loved and not shamed by my mom and family means the world to me. I feel like like I can make the most of dancing this time because Im walking in my truth. I urge anyone that hasn’t had the hard conversation to have it. Especially if you feel like it’s holding you back in your relationships that you value or you feel like your hiding a secret. I used alcohol to cope with those feelings and after a suggestion from a therapist to write down the 5 most emotionally uncomfortable situations that your running from and tackle the hardest one first. That for me was telling my Christian mother that I strip. My mother told me that “when the world is condemning you, I’ll will be the one to pick you up and shield you”. Of course after that she said that she know this isn’t my last stop in life and will continue to stand by me and pray for me no matter what.

    i hope this helps anyone that is struggling with this. I can tell you my anxiety went down to a 3 from a 10 after this conversation. I know that in order to have great money making nights I have to be clear and free and this has definitely helped with the momentum. You ladies are stronger than you think. Have a great day!

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    Veteran Member Adrienne7's Avatar
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    Default Re: Coming Clean to parents in order to have clarity

    Well congrats, that is awesome! However, I told my folks. Years ago. They flipped and it caused major problems. They aren't Christian and I thought they were pretty open minded, but i was wrong. I quit for a while due to them shaming me and threatening to tell my grandfather who was helping me pay for college. Needless to say when I went back to dancing I decided they forfeited right to know that part of me anymore, since they rejected it. I do hope to heal that someday.

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    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: Coming Clean to parents in order to have clarity

    Definitely a nice feeling when you don't have to hide/lie etc as that can cause feelings of shame and guilt etc. Some people are better able to handle those feelings than others.

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    Default Re: Coming Clean to parents in order to have clarity

    There's no wrong or right move for this. It's up to the individual. Hope you're glad with your decision.

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    Default Re: Coming Clean to parents in order to have clarity

    I told my parents I work as a heavy equipment operator. Which is true. Not about stripping, though… I already know how they’ll react. They thought I was being too immodest when I’d got a run each morning when I took my sister and went to visit them over Spring Break. My parents are Mennonites, so it may be a bit much for them to process that. They are aware that they don’t know the whole story and that it’s better that way, though.
    Written on the walls at the house of sorrow
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    I could not remain in that room

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    Default Re: Coming Clean to parents in order to have clarity

    Most mentally healthy parents get over it or rationalize it.

    If your parents are junkies, they start asking you for money.

    Glad it worked out OP.

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    Default Re: Coming Clean to parents in order to have clarity

    I don't have parents just some relatives. They didnt care that i do this job, but they are jealous of how much i make, where i can afford to live, vacation and etc.
    When i took a break from dancing and had way less money and was living like them financially, they treated me better. Lol.
    Oh well....

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    Default Re: Coming Clean to parents in order to have clarity

    Quote Originally Posted by Tati1995 View Post
    I don't have parents just some relatives. They didnt care that i do this job, but they are jealous of how much i make, where i can afford to live, vacation and etc.
    When i took a break from dancing and had way less money and was living like them financially, they treated me better. Lol.
    Oh well....

    Its like that. I’ve been listening to a lot of podcast from dancers making more money and a common theme is doing the inner work because it starts with you. One girl talks about revisiting painful memories and working through them in order to not subconsciously carry that with you anywhere you go and especially to the club. I figured the less things I have buried deep will make it easier to stay focused while working and staying in the moment. I do understand some people will have it harder when it comes to opening up but regardless of how it’s received, you will feel better after getting it off your chest.

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