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Thread: Friend looks upset when I sell CRs

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    Default Friend looks upset when I sell CRs

    Lately I’ve been working with a good friend of mine I’ve known for a few years. She is very beautiful but extremely insecure - to the point it gets difficult to be around at times (and even annoying). For reference, we’ve both been dancing around the same amount of time. She is wonderful at stage dancing but not the best hustler and I’m the other way around.


    Our club is set up so if a customer spends $1000 at once the girl gets a little goodie bag. When my friend saw me walk by with my customer and a goodie bag tonight, I saw her looking at my bag and her face just dropped. She looked very upset and didnt give me a thumbs up, smile, good job or any other form of support you’d expect from a friend seeing you do well. I’d normally give her the benefit of the doubt about it - it’s understandable to be like “why her and not me” sometimes. But this has become a bit of a pattern...in the past she has made the exact same face when she sees me with the bag. Never anything positive or even neutral - she looks visibly distraught for a brief second or so before either pretending she didnt see me or flashing a fake smile right after.


    So, after I get done with tonight’s champagne room, I see she sent me a text saying she was “done with this shit” and was pouting in the dressing room. At this point we still have 2 hours of our shift left so I have no idea why shes wasting time pouting instead of hustling (this is why I made the $$ and not her). She pouts the remaining 2 hours of the shift (aside from selling one dance).


    We carpooled to work together, so as soon as we’re in the car after our shift I ask if she’s ok. Holding back tears, she said she doesn’t want to talk about it. At this point I’m worried something happened to her - she was violated in VIP, embarrassment on stage, etc. Not once has she not talked to me the whole drive back into town. Plus she said nothing about my multiple goodie bags from tonight (I had a good night, lol).


    Right before getting out, I ask one final time if she’s ok. She then bursts out crying and says she doesn’t think she is pretty enough or cut out for the job because she “saw tons of other girls with goodie bags and not her.” In reality she is actually one of the hottest girls at our club - but she lets this weird insecurity shit ruin her shift.


    Anyways I just needed to write all this out, I’m not sure what to do when she gets like this and needed an outside opinion. I know she doesn’t actually think shes not pretty enough for the job - she regularly gloats about customers telling her she’s one of the hottest girls there etc and has referred to herself as such before. She also sold the $1000 CR literally one day ago so it’s not like she doesn’t ever sell them. However I wasn’t working on shift with her then.


    In short here is my question - how should I respond to this behavior, and is it a potential red flag that she is not happy for me when she sees me doing well? Or am I being a little harsh since obviously it sucks having a bad night etc? She is otherwise an awesome and supportive friend, I just found the obvious wince at my money making to be...alarming.


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    Default Re: Friend looks upset when I sell CRs

    1) Yes it is a "red flag" and 2) No you don't really owe her a response.

    I've gone through this, including with a girl I met off of this forum.

    All I can say is, it's way too easy for the DRAMA of the strip club experience to ruin friendships and cause people to get into long downward spirals.

    Any situation where high priced sales are getting divvied up among salespeople is going to lead to broken friendships and drama. One of my old friends sells luxury motorhomes full time and he told me that some of his sales people are MORE fucked up than any given Hollywood stereotype stripper.

    & I might get hate messages about this but some women are not mature in how they deal with their feelings. YES I know the strip bar is full of extreme triggers to one's mood (physically abusive customers, crackheads annoying you, managers acting creepy) but most of the time you have to center yourself and find the most logical (or cunning) way to deal with a problem at work.

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    Default Re: Friend looks upset when I sell CRs

    It is a red flag, for your friendship, IF you can honestly say yes to this. Is she acting jealous of you?

    If she is jealous of your success she could do something to try and end your success.

    From what you wrote though, you say she is very insecure, she thinks that she can't sell because she's not pretty enough. It seems that she is directing that inwards, towards herself. If she is one of those people who really derives all their value from how they look, then this could be a red flag for her mental health. Like it could trigger some sort of depression. Your friend could be dealing with something deeper than about the money. Do you want to have that problem in your place of work though?

    My own experience with this was not in a strip club. Being transgender that would be a hard one to pull off (not impossible though some have done it). Lets just say I shared an apartment with a roomate and her firend who visited town once in a while. I a college student, my friend a performing drag queen, and that friend who had been a model. The friend who was a performing drag queen seemed to hate on any success anyone else had. I had a photographer for a website come over to try and film a scene. There I am trying to perform solo and she's just screaming, and singing, and trying to get attention in the background. All while the photog is telling me to relax. Needless to say I was tense and no money shot was had. I still got paid... I think the pictures were used in a non -english website...so I have seen.

    Wound up having a real bad falling out with that roomate, and eventually so did her and that friend of hers who was a model.

    At the same time though.... that same roomate did encourage me to study and made sure I did. Got Straight A's that year. 🤷♀️

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    Default Re: Friend looks upset when I sell CRs

    She is not your friend. Distance yourself from her asap. She will most likely do nothing but try to bring you down. I used to know someone like that.

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    Default Re: Friend looks upset when I sell CRs

    This is entirely a 'her' problem.

    It's one thing to be a little salty or envious if you're having a bad night (due to bad luck) but if she is like this all the time, that's not good. It's especially worse because she isn't hustling or doing anything about it. Like, how can you be jealous when you are presented with the same opportunity and the other person just chose to, I dunno, take it? That's the big red flag to me.

    She doesn't sound like she can handle the ups & downs of the job. She has got to learn that some nights you won't sell a single room & other nights you sell 6 of them. There's soooo many outside factors besides how hot you are.

    There's a girl at my club who does what you described, spends at least 1-2 hours of each shift moping or napping in the DR, or else getting drunk "because nobody wants me apparently!" It's amazing how badly she can drain everyone else's mood like this. Soooo for your own sanity, I would tell you to put some space between you and your friend.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

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    Default Re: Friend looks upset when I sell CRs

    Quote Originally Posted by Selina M View Post
    This is entirely a 'her' problem.

    It's one thing to be a little salty or envious if you're having a bad night (due to bad luck) but if she is like this all the time, that's not good. It's especially worse because she isn't hustling or doing anything about it. Like, how can you be jealous when you are presented with the same opportunity and the other person just chose to, I dunno, take it? That's the big red flag to me.

    She doesn't sound like she can handle the ups & downs of the job. She has got to learn that some nights you won't sell a single room & other nights you sell 6 of them. There's soooo many outside factors besides how hot you are.

    There's a girl at my club who does what you described, spends at least 1-2 hours of each shift moping or napping in the DR, or else getting drunk "because nobody wants me apparently!" It's amazing how badly she can drain everyone else's mood like this. Soooo for your own sanity, I would tell you to put some space between you and your friend.
    This says exactly what I was thinking.

    Also- stripping is not for the mentally weak. I can elaborate on that later, but simply put....if someone is going to have these sorts of scenes at work instead of addressing the root causes and fixing them...They have to help themselves.

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    Default Re: Friend looks upset when I sell CRs

    First of all this is why I don't agree with any show of girls money whether it be goodie bags, names of girls in VIP on a screen, etc. It breeds jealousy. She isn't your friend right not because she is sooo jealous but if you are so good at selling rooms, why can't you help her (if she is your FRIEND)? I bring my friends in my room all the time, and they bring me back. Team work makes the dream work and she can in turn help you with your stage presence.

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    Default Re: Friend looks upset when I sell CRs

    Ask the manager if they can stop the goodie bag aka "show n tell". Not only does that bring jealousy from this girl, others too. Not a good vibe setting for the club.

    Idkw kind of stupid club would do that? Goodie bag...what are we ten years old...lol
    Last edited by Vyanka; 08-09-2019 at 03:08 PM.

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    Default Re: Friend looks upset when I sell CRs

    Quote Originally Posted by arielbriel View Post
    First of all this is why I don't agree with any show of girls money whether it be goodie bags, names of girls in VIP on a screen, etc. It breeds jealousy. She isn't your friend right not because she is sooo jealous but if you are so good at selling rooms, why can't you help her (if she is your FRIEND)? I bring my friends in my room all the time, and they bring me back. Team work makes the dream work and she can in turn help you with your stage presence.
    Yeah for real, my club has the VIP list out where everyone can read it when they collect $$. It can be a good motivator if you have friendly competition, or it can create jealousy like it is here. A few years ago, I used to count my $$ in the bathroom stalls because other girls were such jealous assholes.

    She can try to bring her friend along but it's up to the guy unfortunately. I think this works a lot better when you are both the same body type or 'aesthetic' too.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

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    Default Re: Friend looks upset when I sell CRs

    Quote Originally Posted by Selina M View Post
    Yeah for real, my club has the VIP list out where everyone can read it when they collect $$. It can be a good motivator if you have friendly competition, or it can create jealousy like it is here. A few years ago, I used to count my $$ in the bathroom stalls because other girls were such jealous assholes.

    She can try to bring her friend along but it's up to the guy unfortunately. I think this works a lot better when you are both the same body type or 'aesthetic' too.
    Good tips. TBH one of my dancer friends mentioned a new girl she and her sister brought along on a strip trip stole some cash they had laying out b/c she apparently had issues they didn't know about. Kind of a shitty way to find out a girl you're trying to help out in life is not worth the bother...…


    & True story, I strip tripped to a new club with a longtime friend and at the end of the week she confessed she had done really well (I didn't know- we split up a lot during shifts.) I did terrible at this place but wasn't freaking out since I had savings. She hid it from me to avoid any weirdness...which was fine. Lucky for us there was no reason for conflict there.

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    Default Re: Friend looks upset when I sell CRs

    lol am I the only one who cant stop thinking about what is in the goodie bag? sorry, im just nosey like that.

    I had a friend who would get visibly jealous if I did better than her. she is gorgeous, but doesn't know how to hustle someone without having sex in the room. not hard. she would make comments or eye rolls when I sold more than her, or say 'its because of my fake ass'. needless to say, we aren't friends anymore. jealousy is a disease.

    I would weigh if its worth to keep this friend, and determine whether its mean spirited or if she's just having a rough spell and needs some help.

    so either cut her off, or like Arielbriel suggested learn from each other. or nudge her to hustle more/believe in herself more.

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    Default Re: Friend looks upset when I sell CRs

    Quote Originally Posted by crystalize View Post
    lol am I the only one who cant stop thinking about what is in the goodie bag? sorry, im just nosey like that.

    I had a friend who would get visibly jealous if I did better than her. she is gorgeous, but doesn't know how to hustle someone without having sex in the room. not hard. she would make comments or eye rolls when I sold more than her, or say 'its because of my fake ass'. needless to say, we aren't friends anymore. jealousy is a disease.

    I would weigh if its worth to keep this friend, and determine whether its mean spirited or if she's just having a rough spell and needs some help.

    so either cut her off, or like Arielbriel suggested learn from each other. or nudge her to hustle more/believe in herself more.
    This. What you should do has to come down to whether your friend is acting truly jealous of you... OR if she has some other problem going on. The friend I had a falling out with it turned out had some other mental issues to get help with.

    NO matter what, always take care of yourself. Only if you take care of yourself can you possibly help anyone else. That may mean having to distance from this friend... at least at work.

    Quote Originally Posted by Selina M View Post
    Yeah for real, my club has the VIP list out where everyone can read it when they collect $$. It can be a good motivator if you have friendly competition, or it can create jealousy like it is here. A few years ago, I used to count my $$ in the bathroom stalls because other girls were such jealous assholes.

    She can try to bring her friend along but it's up to the guy unfortunately. I think this works a lot better when you are both the same body type or 'aesthetic' too.
    Really strange to hear so many of you have to deal with that. On the camming side it is easy to know who has 1000's at least looking and how much has been tipped ... but only if you spy on someone else working. Having that kind of information on a board like that reminds me of like... working sales. Like something out of " now go out there and be sexy while doing pole tricks". How can that not kill the mood.

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    Default Re: Friend looks upset when I sell CRs

    Lately I’ve been working with a good friend of mine I’ve known for a few years. She is very beautiful but extremely insecure - to the point it gets difficult to be around at times (and even annoying). When my friend saw me walk by with my customer and a goodie bag tonight, I saw her looking at my bag and her face just dropped.

    She looked very upset and didnt give me a thumbs up, smile, good job or any other form of support you’d expect from a friend seeing you do well. So, after I get done with tonight’s champagne room, I see she sent me a text saying she was “done with this shit” and was pouting in the dressing room. At this point we still have 2 hours of our shift left so I have no idea why shes wasting time pouting instead of hustling (this is why I made the $$ and not her).
    I'm not a dancer, but I'm a woman, and I often wonder if I'm ever going to ever have intimate friendships again because of this shit. Isn't it interesting when chronically insecure people make you and the entire world believe that it's YOUR FAULT/THE WORLD'S FAULT they feel shitty about themselves?

    Look, I know that we all experience insecurity about something, but this is an example of the chronic type that's nothing more than pathetic narcissism. Poor me! Look at me and how awful I am! Everyone's better than me! I hate myself because (fill in the blank). I refuse to feel good about myself, so I need everyone to join my never-ending pity party. I suck, so I don't need to put in the effort to learn how to better myself. I don't need to ask questions, reach out, try my best, accept that different people are better at different things, will look better, have different strengths and weaknesses, etc. BOO FUCKING HOO!!!

    She pouts the remaining 2 hours of the shift (Right before getting out, I ask one final time if she’s ok. She then bursts out crying and says she doesn’t think she is pretty enough or cut out for the job because she “saw tons of other girls with goodie bags and not her.”
    What is she, like, four years old? Tantrums because you earned a bonus and she didn't?!? Get this pathetic energy vampire out of your life NOW. Like, RIGHT NOW! You are not Jesus/Budda/Allah. You aren't a shrink, and that's exactly what she needs, although until she's ready to woman up and level up, she'd drive a shrink crazy!

    You have every right to enjoy your earnings, and the bonuses, too. You have the right to protect yourself from sick manipulators who dump their shit at your feet. Tell her your friendship is over, effective immediately. Fuck her and her dirty looks, stares, tears, whatever! Don't worry - she'll slink away from the job and find another source of pity, sooner than later.

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    Default Re: Friend looks upset when I sell CRs

    Quote Originally Posted by Selina M View Post
    Yeah for real, my club has the VIP list out where everyone can read it when they collect $$. It can be a good motivator if you have friendly competition, or it can create jealousy like it is here. A few years ago, I used to count my $$ in the bathroom stalls because other girls were such jealous assholes.

    She can try to bring her friend along but it's up to the guy unfortunately. I think this works a lot better when you are both the same body type or 'aesthetic' too.
    We can convince the guys to do a lot of things, having another girl is just one more. I work with girls who are completely different than I am but just as beautiful adn the guys love having the best of both worlds in their room.

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    Default Re: Friend looks upset when I sell CRs

    Quote Originally Posted by crystalize View Post
    she is gorgeous, but doesn't know how to hustle someone without having sex in the room.
    This is sad. She is duping herself. I know a few very pretty girls who struggle a bit and it's bc they have this mentality that in stripping, all you need to do is be pretty and the money will fall on your lap. Nope. It helps, but you still need to know how to talk/push a sale and entertain. Some get it. Some don't & those shouldn't even bother with stripping. Stripping is not fucking.
    Last edited by Vyanka; 08-10-2019 at 05:39 AM.

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    Default Re: Friend looks upset when I sell CRs

    Did you discuss this issue with her before work? Are you telling her that you are aware of her moods and faces and would like to help? Are you helping her on her sales pitch? Are you pulling her into rooms with you? What are you doing as a friend when you see your friend beating themselves up?
    Jealousy is normal, people too often treat it differently. I also noticed people gloat a little to themselves when they know they friend may be jealous. They’ll point and say look at her she’s jealous but really don’t want to make everything even by helping. I’m not saying that shit doesn’t fall on her cause it definitely does. But maybe you can try to help her more

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    Default Re: Friend looks upset when I sell CRs

    I wouldn't work with her anymore. I've had this happen to me and I simply can't understand how you couldn't be happy for a friend doing well. Not only that, but it's a pain in the ass for you to listen to.

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    Default Re: Friend looks upset when I sell CRs

    Both clubs I’ve worked at have had something similar. I understand where your friend is coming from, because I had the same insecurity issues when I started off, especially when I’d see others with theirs and I would never get one. And absolutely it played my doubts. And now I realize part of it was also my own attitude towards it. As far as I was concerned, I was a heavy equipment operator, not a stripper, and this was just a temporary thing. But damn did I feel left out. But, I’d congratulate the others and be content with the money I made, because I wasn’t exactly left starving, all the same.

    I was fortunate, as I was coached into it by friends who were strippers, and in keeping my expectations realistic, I actually set them considerably lower than what the reality turned out to be, so I was generally happy. But those bags… I didn’t give a shit about what was in them, but the principle. I never cried over it, though. Then again, I’m the girl who spent her entire working life in very blue collar and predominantly male industries and who got blown up by an IED in Afghanistan, so my outlook on ‘to cry/not to cry’ probably follows much different criteria than most.

    Now the first time I did get one, it was quite a feeling. But I also refused to flaunt it in any way, and tried not to be seen with it. Everyone knew when you earned one, but I’d been that girl who felt excluded, and I didn’t want to be the source of it for someone else.

    She’s gotta work on her hustle. Her insecurities are something she’ll need to tackle her own way, which she’ll figure it out if she puts her mind into it. But if she’d rather wallow in self pity, then that’ll do fuck all for her.
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    Default Re: Friend looks upset when I sell CRs

    Quote Originally Posted by arielbriel View Post
    We can convince the guys to do a lot of things, having another girl is just one more. I work with girls who are completely different than I am but just as beautiful adn the guys love having the best of both worlds in their room.
    Yeah, this is definitely something I like to do although I have gotten mixed results. OP, you can hustle as a twosome and some guys love that. To me it's more fun to have another girl in the room rather than be alone as long as she is a team player. Give it a try and see if you work better together.
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    Default Re: Friend looks upset when I sell CRs

    Quote Originally Posted by Optimist View Post
    Yeah, this is definitely something I like to do although I have gotten mixed results.
    Ditto. I like the team playing environment but the ones who were so called "friends" were the ones fucking my ass over behind my back or in your face about it. They are no longer in the business... karma.

    I wonder if the OP's friend was someone she became friends with itc or before that. If they were friends before stripping, well... you see ppl's true colors in this business. Made a friend at the club, that was actually never a friend to begin with.

    I would just cut ties with this chic all together and just make ya money.

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    Default Re: Friend looks upset when I sell CRs

    Looks doesn’t matter as much so the fact she’s “hot” has nothing to do with the fact she’s just not good at sales and insecure because of it.

    And yes it would have to be hard to drive home with a friend who ran laps around her while she barely made money.

    Sounds like she was pissed you didn’t bring her into some doubles action to help her get money since y’all are friends and you’re way more proficient at sales than she is.

    She also probably perceived you to be showing off/rubbing it in her face when you knew she was struggling.

    This is why it’s never a good idea to work with friends (especially if they aren’t on the same hustle level as you).




    Quote Originally Posted by somechick99 View Post
    Lately I’ve been working with a good friend of mine I’ve known for a few years. She is very beautiful but extremely insecure - to the point it gets difficult to be around at times (and even annoying). For reference, we’ve both been dancing around the same amount of time. She is wonderful at stage dancing but not the best hustler and I’m the other way around.


    Our club is set up so if a customer spends $1000 at once the girl gets a little goodie bag. When my friend saw me walk by with my customer and a goodie bag tonight, I saw her looking at my bag and her face just dropped. She looked very upset and didnt give me a thumbs up, smile, good job or any other form of support you’d expect from a friend seeing you do well. I’d normally give her the benefit of the doubt about it - it’s understandable to be like “why her and not me” sometimes. But this has become a bit of a pattern...in the past she has made the exact same face when she sees me with the bag. Never anything positive or even neutral - she looks visibly distraught for a brief second or so before either pretending she didnt see me or flashing a fake smile right after.


    So, after I get done with tonight’s champagne room, I see she sent me a text saying she was “done with this shit” and was pouting in the dressing room. At this point we still have 2 hours of our shift left so I have no idea why shes wasting time pouting instead of hustling (this is why I made the $$ and not her). She pouts the remaining 2 hours of the shift (aside from selling one dance).


    We carpooled to work together, so as soon as we’re in the car after our shift I ask if she’s ok. Holding back tears, she said she doesn’t want to talk about it. At this point I’m worried something happened to her - she was violated in VIP, embarrassment on stage, etc. Not once has she not talked to me the whole drive back into town. Plus she said nothing about my multiple goodie bags from tonight (I had a good night, lol).


    Right before getting out, I ask one final time if she’s ok. She then bursts out crying and says she doesn’t think she is pretty enough or cut out for the job because she “saw tons of other girls with goodie bags and not her.” In reality she is actually one of the hottest girls at our club - but she lets this weird insecurity shit ruin her shift.


    Anyways I just needed to write all this out, I’m not sure what to do when she gets like this and needed an outside opinion. I know she doesn’t actually think shes not pretty enough for the job - she regularly gloats about customers telling her she’s one of the hottest girls there etc and has referred to herself as such before. She also sold the $1000 CR literally one day ago so it’s not like she doesn’t ever sell them. However I wasn’t working on shift with her then.


    In short here is my question - how should I respond to this behavior, and is it a potential red flag that she is not happy for me when she sees me doing well? Or am I being a little harsh since obviously it sucks having a bad night etc? She is otherwise an awesome and supportive friend, I just found the obvious wince at my money making to be...alarming.


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