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Thread: How can I be more mean?

  1. #1
    Senior Member Yayayasmine's Avatar
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    Default How can I be more mean?

    Heads up this post is going to be a little long .
    So a lot of people at my club think that I am very nice for whatever reason . And it didn’t really bother me before because I rather have people think that I am nice versus thinking that I am rude or mean . I feel like it’s starting to become a problem though because sometimes the guys feel weird about getting dances from me.
    For example , yesterday I walked up to this guy and introduced myself. We literally talked for less than a minute and he told me that he felt weird tipping me because he feels like I am so kind . This was literally within less than a minute and it’s not like I gave him any personal information about myself to where he could think that . I’m dancing in Philly right now and I was born and raised in the Midwest so people can tell I have an accent and that I’m not from the area . I can’t even lie and say that I’m from Philly because they know from my “Mannerisms” and the way that I talk . I don’t want to appear overly nice because a lot of people in Philly think that if you are being nice to them it’s because you want something from them or you have a trick up your sleeve . People can already tell that I’m not from Philly and I don’t want them thinking that I’m this nice girl who has no family around and that they can take it advantage of me. I am naturally a kind person from what people tell me and when I did customer service at my other jobs people always complemented me and would sometimes tell my boss that I was one of the kindest employees that they met ( not trying to sound arrogant just trying to get you to understand where I’m coming from ). I used to have a habit of getting too personal with the customers ( even though I always lie and nobody at my job really knows the truth about me ). I’ve stopped doing this and I listen to the guys more and try to find out all about them . A lot of guys saying that they rather hear about me because they feel like they are too boring . I hate that honestly like why are you here trying to figure out my life story. I’m not sure if that ties in with me being too kind or what . It’s been difficult transitioning here because I’m originally from the Midwest and people act way different than they do out here in Philly . I just don’t want for anyone to feel like I’m being kind because I have malicious intent and I don’t want for anyone to think that they can take it vantage of me . Any suggestions are appreciated !

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  3. #2
    Senior Member KenzieJ's Avatar
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    Default Re: How can I be more mean?

    I've heard a lot of guys use that as an excuse not to get a dance. I think that's all it really is. If a guy like a girl and wants to see her topless on his lap, he won't care she's "too nice" lol. Other than that, I'd say to take charge and make it about yourself. Talk about yourself more instead of asking about them. I am sometimes told I'm nice, but the "I can't get a dance from you " part is a total excuse. They are just being cheap, Just my two cents

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  5. #3
    Senior Member Yayayasmine's Avatar
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    Default Re: How can I be more mean?

    I feel like my struggle is trying to find a medium . On one hand if you tell too much in the guy feels like he knows you too well it might make her uncomfortable to get a dance, but on the other hand if you don’t talk enough about yourself it’s like they don’t want to be bothered . It’s so annoying. Thanks for your feedback ! I’ll definitely keep that in mind .

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    God/dess WendiStarr's Avatar
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    Default Re: How can I be more mean?

    I'm also from the Midwest so I know what you mean. I agree that the guys are probably just being cheap. There are a ton of guys, all over the world I've found, that will gladly talk your ear off without ever tipping or buying a dance. You can be friendly as far as going up to them and talking to them but don't linger too long if they show no interest in getting a dance. With those guys you may have to be more assertive and take the lead, suggest he buy a dance from you if he wants to keep talking or come right out and ask. If they say they can't, they're either cheap or not really interested in you(they may have came to see a favorite dancer or you might not be their type). I have found that even if a guy isn't interested or you're not his type, he will often still gladly waste your time for free, talking and asking you personal questions if you let them. In that case, move on to the next. I'm a retired(pregnant) stripper from the Midwest and that's just my 2 cents.

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  8. #5
    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: How can I be more mean?

    Different guys like different things.

    Some guys like nice girl nextdoor types while other guys like bitches who order them around.

    Definitely don’t be so nice that you seem like a friend vs a stripper they should be expected to spend money on.

    Be assertive! This is the middle ground to getting your needs met and boundaries respected (with nice vs aggressive on opposite ends of the spectrum)

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    God/dess SnuffleUffleGrass's Avatar
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    Default Re: How can I be more mean?

    Honestly make some female friends who are born and raised in the Northeast and they will help you with the accent and getting used to the bluntness and ...personal culture of the NYC/Northeastern area of the United States.

    A lot of customers who start turning down dances with the "you're too nice/you're too sweet" lines are either trying to turn you down softly, or are too polite to say that you aren't the kind of girl they want to take to VIP right at that moment.

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  12. #7
    Veteran Member StellaRose's Avatar
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    Default Re: How can I be more mean?

    All I can think of is maybe don’t change who you are, but speed up your hustle. Just run through a bunch of customers for a quick sale. So that you can be kind AND assertive And the minority who like the kindness will become ballers for you effortlessly.

    Or...if you feel you’re getting taken advantage of. What does your face look like? If you’re a cute girl-next-door, can you alter yourself to look more like a bad bitch, or whatever other look Philly men might like?

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