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Thread: Could u date someone that goes to bed at 7pm?

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    Default Could u date someone that goes to bed at 7pm?

    Could you date or live with someone that goes to bed at 7pm? I got back with an ex of mine that I dated 20 years ago and he is a really good guy but he goes to bed at 7pm and he's only 43. I'm 49 and I hate going to bed before 10 or 11pm. When we dated before we always stayed up late.


    He usually has to be up at 5am and works outside in the heat but still. I am looking at longterm like in the future if we were to ever live together. I'm a cam girl so I work crazy hours sometimes. I work mostly days but every now and then I work a few hours at nights but not always.

    Opinions?

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    Default Re: Could u date someone that goes to bed at 7pm?

    I have before. He used to work a shift that started at 3am though. I just knew that I'd have to plan things with him on weekdays around his schedule because he went to bed early but on weekends he would stay up late. Then once I was the one with the crazy schedule, working 4am start 5 days a week and then a mandatory 10pm shift start on one of the weekend days a week. We still managed to find time for each other. He gets his schedule changed a lot so sometimes he works at 6am, sometimes 2pm, and other times his shift doesn't start until 10pm. It sucks having to adapt to peoples' schedules but I think you can make it work in the long-term if you needed to. Does he have weekends off? If so, maybe on Friday or Saturday night you can get him to stay up later with you.

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    Default Re: Could u date someone that goes to bed at 7pm?

    Quote Originally Posted by WendiStarr View Post
    I have before. He used to work a shift that started at 3am though. I just knew that I'd have to plan things with him on weekdays around his schedule because he went to bed early but on weekends he would stay up late. Then once I was the one with the crazy schedule, working 4am start 5 days a week and then a mandatory 10pm shift start on one of the weekend days a week. We still managed to find time for each other. He gets his schedule changed a lot so sometimes he works at 6am, sometimes 2pm, and other times his shift doesn't start until 10pm. It sucks having to adapt to peoples' schedules but I think you can make it work in the long-term if you needed to. Does he have weekends off? If so, maybe on Friday or Saturday night you can get him to stay up later with you.
    yeah he is off on Saturdays and Sundays, and he stayed up late with me Saturday night. I'm just trying to figure out how we would make it work with me camming if I need to cam at night because I currently cam from my bedroom. My kids are grown but they still live at home so its the only room that I have other than my craft room and its right next to their room...lol

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    Default Re: Could u date someone that goes to bed at 7pm?

    I am absolute trash by 8pm sharp and I'm 28 so this is actually hilarious. I've worked night shifts before (back when I had a "real" job AND as a cam girl) but if the option presents itself my body shuts down by 7:59. My whole family knows this. Every guy I've ever dated just laughs and accepts it. But it's never even crossed my mind that something like this could count as a potential relationship problem. This is honestly a mind trip lol.

    Usually, I'd suggest talking to the guy about it to see if you can find some common ground but ....it's sleep we're talking about. If he's tired then he's tired. And I can't imagine him understanding where you're coming from when - like you said - he gets up hella early, too. Unless you can explain to him how he's 'wrong' for getting his rest then you might have to decide for yourself if it's too much to deal with because his main argument will definitely be a valid one. Personally, it's a non-issue for me. I've worked all kinds of crazy shifts and understand dating a guy who works crazy shifts so I'm probably more accepting of the extra work that comes with clashing schedules. Definitely ask him if there is any time during the week than can be dedicated to the two of you. I hope I don't sound rude or anything like that; I have to add that disclaimer these days. It can be rough sometimes so I can see why you wonder if it'll even work. Just see if he can carved out some time and if not then maybe make a decision from there.

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    Default Re: Could u date someone that goes to bed at 7pm?

    I think a lot depends on how much you like him. Sometimes these little aggravations don't mean much when the person is good for you in a lot of other ways. If not, wouldn't be worth it.


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    Default Re: Could u date someone that goes to bed at 7pm?

    If I really liked someone, their sleep/work schedule wouldn't be an issue. But I am the type of person who likes and needs to be left alone a lot.

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    Default Re: Could u date someone that goes to bed at 7pm?

    Quote Originally Posted by NitaBaby View Post
    I am absolute trash by 8pm sharp and I'm 28 so this is actually hilarious. I've worked night shifts before (back when I had a "real" job AND as a cam girl) but if the option presents itself my body shuts down by 7:59. My whole family knows this. Every guy I've ever dated just laughs and accepts it. But it's never even crossed my mind that something like this could count as a potential relationship problem. This is honestly a mind trip lol.

    Usually, I'd suggest talking to the guy about it to see if you can find some common ground but ....it's sleep we're talking about. If he's tired then he's tired. And I can't imagine him understanding where you're coming from when - like you said - he gets up hella early, too. Unless you can explain to him how he's 'wrong' for getting his rest then you might have to decide for yourself if it's too much to deal with because his main argument will definitely be a valid one. Personally, it's a non-issue for me. I've worked all kinds of crazy shifts and understand dating a guy who works crazy shifts so I'm probably more accepting of the extra work that comes with clashing schedules. Definitely ask him if there is any time during the week than can be dedicated to the two of you. I hope I don't sound rude or anything like that; I have to add that disclaimer these days. It can be rough sometimes so I can see why you wonder if it'll even work. Just see if he can carved out some time and if not then maybe make a decision from there.
    All good points and no I didn't take what u said as being rude! It just sucks on a lot of levels because I would like to couple cam some in the evenings (not every night but every once in a while)plus if he ever moves in with me, how would I cam at night if he is in the bed asleep...lol. Know what I mean? Your a cam girl too so you know how rough it can be sometimes! There has been a few months during the summer that I actually had to work 2 shifts just to make my daily goal. I am about to start adding some more eggs tho so maybe I won't have to be doing much camming at night.

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    Default Re: Could u date someone that goes to bed at 7pm?

    Quote Originally Posted by laurielegs View Post
    I think a lot depends on how much you like him. Sometimes these little aggravations don't mean much when the person is good for you in a lot of other ways. If not, wouldn't be worth it.
    I really like him a lot, we dated 20 years ago and it was my stupidity that we broke up. He even tried getting back with me but I was stubborn headed and then he got married a few years later and I regretted it ever since. I was still friends with his mom. Actually I was friends with her before me and him ever got together and that's how me and him met. Every time I would see her I would ask about him tho. He is a really good guy tho other than him just getting out of a 10 year marriage. She left him, so I don't know for sure how every thing will turn out yet.

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    Default Re: Could u date someone that goes to bed at 7pm?

    I can give you a couple tips ( my former partner worked 3a.m. to 11 a.m. )

    Mostly ( 4-5 days a week for example ) he will probably have to stick to his schedule of going to bed early.

    On his day off ..... that is when you can plan a date at a " normal " time .... like a 6 or 7 p.m. dinner for example.
    THEN .... on just one of his work days ( if he is willing ) he can sleep less to give you guys another " normal " date time out.

    It's HARD to manage this type of schedule. That is what worked ( somewhat ) for us.
    Basically .... if you accept you'll probably have just two evening type of date night a week ...... you won't be bummed.
    Last edited by carmen_b; 09-12-2019 at 09:55 AM.

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    Default Re: Could u date someone that goes to bed at 7pm?

    Quote Originally Posted by carmen_b View Post
    I can give you a couple tips ( my former partner worked 3a.m. to 11 a.m. )

    Mostly ( 4-5 days a week for example ) he will probably have to stick to his schedule of going to bed early.

    On his day off ..... that is when you can plan a date at a " normal " time .... like a 7 p.m. dinner for example.
    THEN .... on just one of his work days ( if he is willing ) he can sleep less to give you guys another " normal " date time out.

    It's HARD to manage this type of schedule. That is what worked ( somewhat ) for us.
    Basically .... if you accept you'll probably have just two evening type of date night a week ...... you won't be bummed.
    that sounds like a good idea if he would be willing to do that. Did you live with him? That's what I am thinking about is if we ever lived together ;(

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    Default Re: Could u date someone that goes to bed at 7pm?

    ^ I lived apart from him and with him during that tricky schedule.
    It’s not easy so being proactive about which nights to plan on is good.

    One mistake I made in the end was not going to bed with him often ( such as offering cuddles / sex at 8pm then just getting up a few more hours ).
    Last edited by carmen_b; 09-12-2019 at 09:58 AM.

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    Default Re: Could u date someone that goes to bed at 7pm?

    Quote Originally Posted by carmen_b View Post
    One mistake I made was not going to bed with him often ( such as offering cuddles / sex at 8pm then just getting up a few more hours ).
    My friend lives with her bf but they have separate bedrooms. This is what they do at bedtime and they’re doing great as a couple!

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    Default Re: Could u date someone that goes to bed at 7pm?

    ^ Yep. It’s all about being proactive and claiming time together when one or both of you has a quirky schedule.

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    Default Re: Could u date someone that goes to bed at 7pm?

    Quote Originally Posted by carmen_b View Post
    One mistake I made in the end was not going to bed with him often ( such as offering cuddles / sex at 8pm then just getting up a few more hours ).
    I've thought about doing this too, sex and cuddles then going back to bed in a few hours.


    Quote Originally Posted by lurkingtitties View Post
    My friend lives with her bf but they have separate bedrooms. This is what they do at bedtime and they’re doing great as a couple!

    I wished this was an option for me but the thing that worries me the most is I don't have an extra bedroom to cam from if I ever do need to cam at night to make my goal for the day! I have a craft room but I couldn't cam from there cause my kids rooms are right next to the craft room. My bedroom is on the opposite side of the house! And I couldn't have him sleep on the couch for a few hours because I usually have my music in the living room blaring to drown me out! Here lately I've not had to work at night but sometimes in the summer when its slow I do or like around the next few months with Christmas coming up , I'm sure I will be wanting to work at night some.


    He does have his own place right now with an extra bedroom that I could cam from maybe but his internet is crap because its satellite but like I said I'm thinking in the the future if we were to ever live together at my house ( cause mine will be payed off in 2 years and he is just renting). Hell I've even considered putting a she shed in my backyard...lol but that costs money

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    Default Re: Could u date someone that goes to bed at 7pm?

    If you don't live together yet, I wouldn't worry about this current non-issue until it's relevant. Who knows what the next year or so will bring? Maybe by then, you won't need to cam at night as much. Maybe your kids will move out? Maybe you'll have some money saved up to put in a shed dedicated to camming. Or maybe he'll have a different job with a different schedule and a not-so-early bedtime.

    It sounds like working at night isn't even so much a necessity for you as it is a preference for extra cash at certain times of year. How much would it really hurt you if you had to give up nights in the future? What if you could just work the occasional weekend night when he doesn't have to be in bed quite so early? Or throw in a half-day during a normal day off during the slower months? And if you lived together and shared income, would you even need to cam as much for that extra night-time money or could you back off a little and live off your income from day-time camming with him pitching in his money?

    I think if you really clicked enough to get to the point of living together, you could find a way to make it work. Who knows what will change to make things easier by the time you reach that point? Or what solutions you could come up with if it came down to it and you knew you wanted to make this relationship work for the long-haul.
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    Default Re: Could u date someone that goes to bed at 7pm?

    I live in a retirement town, AND It's hot. And there are mostly early morning golfers and construction workers who reside here too. Everyone goes to bed around 7, and everything shuts down.
    So,..... I know what you're dealing with.
    Coming from the city, it was an adjustment, dealing with guys schedules like your boyfriend's.
    I changed my cam schedule, and started my shift at 4 am. Or 6 am. ( Busiest time on cam, imo honestly.)
    Can you do that?
    Then, you'd be ready to go to sleep when he does.
    I know you said that you have kids in the home. So, maybe that's not practical.

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    God/dess carmen_b's Avatar
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    Default Re: Could u date someone that goes to bed at 7pm?

    I'm honestly curious how it's going for you since I " fought " this issue for 6.5 years.
    During about 6 - 8 months in there he had a normal schedule but mostly it was what you described and it's a bitch sometimes.

    Are you able to still coordinate early dates nights a couple times a week ?

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    Default Re: Could u date someone that goes to bed at 7pm?

    Quote Originally Posted by Glamourmilf View Post
    I live in a retirement town, AND It's hot. And there are mostly early morning golfers and construction workers who reside here too. Everyone goes to bed around 7, and everything shuts down.
    So,..... I know what you're dealing with.
    Coming from the city, it was an adjustment, dealing with guys schedules like your boyfriend's.
    I changed my cam schedule, and started my shift at 4 am. Or 6 am. ( Busiest time on cam, imo honestly.)
    Can you do that?
    Then, you'd be ready to go to sleep when he does.
    I know you said that you have kids in the home. So, maybe that's not practical.
    Yeah I could do those hours as long as it was busy, never even tried that early. What time zone was that?

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    Default Re: Could u date someone that goes to bed at 7pm?

    Quote Originally Posted by Aurora_Sunset View Post
    If you don't live together yet, I wouldn't worry about this current non-issue until it's relevant. Who knows what the next year or so will bring? Maybe by then, you won't need to cam at night as much. Maybe your kids will move out? Maybe you'll have some money saved up to put in a shed dedicated to camming. Or maybe he'll have a different job with a different schedule and a not-so-early bedtime.

    It sounds like working at night isn't even so much a necessity for you as it is a preference for extra cash at certain times of year. How much would it really hurt you if you had to give up nights in the future? What if you could just work the occasional weekend night when he doesn't have to be in bed quite so early? Or throw in a half-day during a normal day off during the slower months? And if you lived together and shared income, would you even need to cam as much for that extra night-time money or could you back off a little and live off your income from day-time camming with him pitching in his money?

    I think if you really clicked enough to get to the point of living together, you could find a way to make it work. Who knows what will change to make things easier by the time you reach that point? Or what solutions you could come up with if it came down to it and you knew you wanted to make this relationship work for the long-haul.
    All good points and ideas, never thought about it like that! thank u!

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    Default Re: Could u date someone that goes to bed at 7pm?

    Quote Originally Posted by carmen_b View Post
    I'm honestly curious how it's going for you since I " fought " this issue for 6.5 years.
    During about 6 - 8 months in there he had a normal schedule but mostly it was what you described and it's a bitch sometimes.

    Are you able to still coordinate early dates nights a couple times a week ?
    He told me that he just wanted to be friends last night ;(

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    Default Re: Could u date someone that goes to bed at 7pm?

    ^ Aw

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    Default Re: Could u date someone that goes to bed at 7pm?

    Quote Originally Posted by carmen_b View Post
    ^ Aw


    Yeah I was crushed cause he was someone I dated 20 years ago, and I fucked it up back then and always regretted it ;(

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    Default Re: Could u date someone that goes to bed at 7pm?

    Quote Originally Posted by Girly_Girl View Post
    He told me that he just wanted to be friends last night ;(
    That sucks. You seemed to really like him. *hugs*
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

    Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.






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    Default Re: Could u date someone that goes to bed at 7pm?

    Quote Originally Posted by Aurora_Sunset View Post
    That sucks. You seemed to really like him. *hugs*

    thank u and yes I did, he is one of the few good guys left. I haven't really had time or been interested in dating till me and him started talking again ;(

    Crazy how just one person can come into your life (or back into your life) and change your mind about things ;(

    I don't know why but I woke up this morning really missing him too ;(

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    Default Re: Could u date someone that goes to bed at 7pm?

    Quote Originally Posted by Girly_Girl View Post
    He told me that he just wanted to be friends last night ;(

    A damn shame!

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