Results 1 to 15 of 15

Thread: what would you do in this situation

  1. #1
    Newbie
    Joined
    Nov 2019
    Posts
    11
    Thanks
    15
    Thanked 12 Times in 7 Posts

    Default what would you do in this situation

    I used to help other people and my now ex boyfriend, to the point i gave away over 20,000 over the last few years. I was assuming the money would come i was the #1 top earner there for 1 1/2 years my first two years, next thing you know i have a miscarriage, the flu, brochities, mono more mono another flu. Got cheated on got depressed got drunk got fired, got in a fight from an upscale club strip club, today I have $40 in my account. I have an account on a camming site i can get daily pay. but dam if one more thing goes wrong i would be screwed.

    I think i got fired, the manager said take two days off and we will look at the camera, then 2 minutes later he was like youre contract is terminated. i was pming the house mom and was like im fired he said so i will go away. And she was no no honey youre drunk, call me in a couple days and ill look at the camera and see whats going on.

    I was embarassed to call her in the evening and quite frankly i dont know what decision to make. Because if I call she could tell me im fired or just suspended. I was having some girls pick at me all day and saying really mean things, and mocking and making fun of me before i got drunk. Fast forward I got trashed and a girl asked me if i was taking a picture of her, when i was texting. I took offence to it, thinking she was saying i was a lesbian creeping on her or something. no offence to lesbians. But now that im not drunk, im not sure if she was genually asking if i was taking a pic of her, or was getting cute with me. I was drunk and pent up with anger from all the taunting that goes on everytime i came in the last month, so yes im embarrassed to talk to the house mom.

    Throw back to the past. I had a boyfriend for over 2 years. He was a bum that lived off me. One time his friend pulled a gun on me and robbed me of like 750. His friend also texted me and threatend to cut my tongue out of my throat. He was working at his brothers buisiness and went to get off early to spend an evening with me, and his brother was like no stay i want you to do more work, and hes like im going to spend time with my girl friend. His brother said are you kidding, "those are cum whores you fuck and throw away that aint youre girlfriend, just stop you are making me lose it". My boyfriend abused me, and later i found out he cheated on me, after all i have done for him. His friends and family including the one who pulled a gun come into the club ALL THE Time. For the most part, they where all bad to me some worse then others. So if I got brought back do I really want to be there. I makes me really uncomfortable.

    Aug 31, 2019 is when I found out i was cheated on. I tried sucide and had a 5 week melt down. I started coming to the club only 1 or 2 times a week. I was thinking of not calling the house mom, and just disapearing. Collecting a check from the cam and not stripping till January. Maybe, just get together with a friend once a week, go to the gym daily, work on healthy eating. I obviously had a nervous breakdown, so maybe I should heal before going to any club.

  2. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to EmeraldGoddesss For This Useful Post:


  3. #2
    God/dess SnuffleUffleGrass's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2009
    Location
    HearstCastle, Rosebud
    Posts
    8,848
    Thanks
    22,676
    Thanked 17,513 Times in 6,696 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: what would you do in this situation

    1) Seek medical care and long term mental health care treatment.

    2) Don't have boyfriends while you work as a sex worker, if you do resume.

    3) I hope things get better.

  4. The Following 14 Users Say Thank You to SnuffleUffleGrass For This Useful Post:


  5. #3
    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    16,440
    Thanks
    47,042
    Thanked 34,925 Times in 12,871 Posts
    My Mood
    Aggressive

    Default Re: what would you do in this situation

    Sorry to hear.

    In the future NEVER let a man sponge off you, abuse you, etc. Don’t go back to a place where your abusive ex and his low life friends that should be locked up (armed robbery = long jail time in these parts) are congregating.

    You may need help with improving your self esteem, processing a miscarriage, and with abusing alcohol as a coping mechanism

    Anyhow only place to go is up from here

  6. The Following 12 Users Say Thank You to miss.a.p1600 For This Useful Post:


  7. #4
    God/dess carmen_b's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2007
    Location
    the mountains ....
    Posts
    14,202
    Thanks
    15,165
    Thanked 21,346 Times in 9,308 Posts

    Default Re: what would you do in this situation

    You learned a huge lesson.
    There is no excuse or reason for a man to not be self supporting .

    Don’t give your money away anymore.
    Be discreet about sex work ( say you quit or retired if needed ) so no one has their hand out or thinks it’s an option.

    COMMIT to serious self care / mental care to progress from here.
    Last edited by carmen_b; 11-12-2019 at 01:33 PM.


  8. #5
    Veteran Member Carmen Elixer's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2019
    Posts
    228
    Thanks
    864
    Thanked 424 Times in 170 Posts

    Default Re: what would you do in this situation

    There is good advice here I agree with every thing said.

    Just add two things:

    Definitely don't go back to THAT club. If you do go back to work at a club. choose another.
    You can always go back to that club, later. when you feel better...
    AND there has been a turnover of girls (hopefully) (if you're lucky).
    But don't call even. bc they will retraumatize you, and you
    will start boozing again

    Your boyfriend was in on the robbery. Or it's likely.
    He facilitated things, and took a cut. (?)
    I'm sorry
    You can't tell ANYONE when you're a stripper
    or any kind of SWer.
    This will happen again, and again, and again,
    until you learn this lesson

  9. The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to Carmen Elixer For This Useful Post:


  10. #6
    Newbie
    Joined
    Nov 2019
    Posts
    11
    Thanks
    15
    Thanked 12 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: what would you do in this situation

    Quote Originally Posted by SnuffleUffleGrass View Post

    2) Don't have boyfriends while you work as a sex worker, if you do resume.

    3) I hope things get better.
    My OG dream is to start a few businesses with a money from sex work, having a new boyfriend interferes with that goal. because with sex worker i will be proposed with one of two things, a bum who wants to sponge off me and is a want to be pimp, or a "nice guy" who cries all the time how it hurts his feeling my boobies are out while not doing much for me, but get me dinner. Im a love that wants to be loved, but I also want a sex work funded business those two dont go hand in hand i guess. So I will do the sex work then fund the buisiness, quite then find the love.

  11. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to EmeraldGoddesss For This Useful Post:


  12. #7
    Newbie
    Joined
    Nov 2019
    Posts
    11
    Thanks
    15
    Thanked 12 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: what would you do in this situation

    Quote Originally Posted by carmen_b View Post
    You learned a huge lesson.
    There is no excuse or reason for a man to not be self supporting .

    Don’t give your money away anymore.
    Be discreet about sex work ( say you quit or retired if needed ) so no one has their hand out or thinks it’s an option.
    Yeah I even had a neighbor rob me, because im so open about being a stripper

  13. #8
    Newbie
    Joined
    Nov 2019
    Posts
    11
    Thanks
    15
    Thanked 12 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: what would you do in this situation

    Quote Originally Posted by Carmen Elixer View Post
    There is good advice here I agree with every thing said.

    Definitely don't go back to THAT club. If you do go back to work at a club. choose another.
    You can always go back to that club, later. when you feel better...
    AND there has been a turnover of girls (hopefully) (if you're lucky).
    But don't call even. bc they will retraumatize you, and you
    will start boozing again

    Your boyfriend was in on the robbery. Or it's likely.
    He facilitated things, and took a cut. (?)
    I'm sorry
    Yeah Im not going back to that club, for at least 5 years, if im even dancing by then. Allot of people think he was in on it. I never told the police that but I sometimes wonder. He would lay with me cuddle me be intimate, hug and kiss me. Disturbing to even fathom someone is sick enough to go about it like that. Setting someone up to be robbed at gun point is low, but to be having sex and cuddling the person you will rob the next day is bazar. He is a really bad drug addict so people change, they dont care who they hurt or how. He robbed his own family, and when the guy with the gun dropped me off, i called my boyfriends phone and he picked up and forgot to hang up. I heard his muffled voice say to the other guy 'now what you do is you take that, and you flip it." Im not sure but I think he was mad about me breaking up with him before and he was on drug so he set me up to be robbed and took the money and flipped it into drug money, split it with his friend, and then they both got high......
    Last edited by EmeraldGoddesss; 11-12-2019 at 05:49 PM.

  14. The Following User Says Thank You to EmeraldGoddesss For This Useful Post:


  15. #9
    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    16,440
    Thanks
    47,042
    Thanked 34,925 Times in 12,871 Posts
    My Mood
    Aggressive

    Default Re: what would you do in this situation

    Agreed with Carmen Elixir about your ex being in on it.

    I had a similar situation where a guy I was dating started showing his true colors (he was a low life and an alcoholic who had a LOT of baggage) and I was preparing to leave his ass and he knew it.

    Next thing I know my place had been ransacked, valuables stolen, etc. I called him to tell him and he was like “yeah same thing happened to me” and text me pictures of his place probably staged to look like a breakin

    That moment I knew that asshole had set me up and I reported him to police and never spoke to him again.

    It’s a shitty feeling realizing you slept with the enemy but it’s also a HARD life lesson to pick up on red flags quicker, to ditch losers faster, and to be more selective cause you value yourself

  16. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to miss.a.p1600 For This Useful Post:


  17. #10
    Veteran Member IvoryDoll's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2017
    Posts
    359
    Thanks
    169
    Thanked 618 Times in 211 Posts

    Default Re: what would you do in this situation

    Aww you need a big hug!
    Stop fucking with these bum ass dudes, especially as a stripper. You should not be supporting anyone’s grown ass son or tolerating any form of physical or verbal abuse. You are above that! Cut off all contact with these people you were speaking of, never talk to them again. They are irrelevant to you and your growth.
    When you can financially support it, definitely begin seeing a therapist.
    You should start getting involved with outside hobbies that do not involve the sex industry at all. We all need outlets away from this job. Have you gone to school? You should ideally never rely solely on dancing as your only form of income, I would start looking for a side job or going to school. Look for vocational schools in your area, they are shorter and usually have help getting job placement.

  18. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to IvoryDoll For This Useful Post:


  19. #11
    Newbie
    Joined
    Nov 2019
    Posts
    11
    Thanks
    15
    Thanked 12 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: what would you do in this situation

    Maybe im wrong...however i heard it was a thing for bums to go into strip clubs and find girls to leach off of. lol

  20. #12
    Newbie
    Joined
    Nov 2019
    Posts
    11
    Thanks
    15
    Thanked 12 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: what would you do in this situation

    Quote Originally Posted by IvoryDoll View Post
    Aww you need a big hug!
    Stop fucking with these bum ass dudes, especially as a stripper. You should not be supporting anyone’s grown ass son or tolerating any form of physical or verbal abuse. You are above that! Cut off all contact with these people you were speaking of, never talk to them again. They are irrelevant to you and your growth.
    When you can financially support it, definitely begin seeing a therapist.
    You should start getting involved with outside hobbies that do not involve the sex industry at all. We all need outlets away from this job. Have you gone to school? You should ideally never rely solely on dancing as your only form of income, I would start looking for a side job or going to school. Look for vocational schools in your area, they are shorter and usually have help getting job placement.


    No more bums for me. I was a cook for awhile. I went to culinary school. I went into dancing and camming full time when i got chronically ill. But i agree with you on the outlets it is needed.

  21. #13
    Member
    Joined
    Sep 2018
    Posts
    64
    Thanks
    89
    Thanked 105 Times in 42 Posts

    Default Re: what would you do in this situation

    I’m so sorry for all that happened to you in this short time and completely sympathize with how you feel.

    Do you think your ex is a codependent? If this is the case it may help to read about codependency issues to identify red flags in the future.

    If this is helpful I have one request for you: Please take care of yourself so your health, hustle and future thrive endlessly! Good luck xoxo

  22. The Following User Says Thank You to Bloom2018 For This Useful Post:


  23. #14
    Newbie
    Joined
    Nov 2019
    Posts
    11
    Thanks
    15
    Thanked 12 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: what would you do in this situation

    Quote Originally Posted by Bloom2018 View Post
    Do you think your ex is a codependent? If this is the case it may help to read about codependency issues to identify red flags in the future.

    If this is helpful I have one request for you: Please take care of yourself so your health, hustle and future thrive endlessly! Good luck xoxo
    His parents where rich and gave him an allowance of 40,000 a month as an adult. Then they disowned him, then is upper middle class brother took care of him, then put him on the street. He is basically is clueless how to take care of himself. This is going to sound kind of odd but i related a bit i was raised in a upper middle class home and my mom did not teach me basic skills. I got put out on my own at 23, so when i was working in the food industry at the beginning of my adult life. Its ohio where i'm at so in the food biz restaurants slow down in the winter except for the holidays. So, my hours would get cut, I lacked basic skills, of course i got better over time but still and I am a "soft women, not strong like the dudes", so I always ended up with the least hours of every one. End of spring, summer, and start of fall I got ok hours like 30 but Nov-feb I got like 17 hours. On top of that I was chronically ill. Eventually I feel so ill I ended up dancing and camming full time. I have some culinary under my belt. So I guess I will go to another club, cam, and cook, and finish my school.

    Thank you xoxox

  24. #15
    Senior Member lightningfarron's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2019
    Location
    I move around
    Posts
    107
    Thanks
    224
    Thanked 209 Times in 72 Posts

    Default Re: what would you do in this situation

    I suggest taking a break if you can and maybe moving somewhere new for a fresh start, if not permanently at least for 6 months or more to recharge. I did that and it was great for my mental health. The US is such a large and varied country with plenty of great clubs and earning potential and as a stripper with no other ties (no kids, etc) it's so easy to relocate wherever you want for a little bit. If you can't relocate, definitely at least find another club. If you can't stop abusing alcohol though I recommend working at a club without a liquor license or finding other ways to stay sober on the job.

    Seek mental health care if you can also, and I also recommend not dating again until you're done with SW. Some people can definitely do it and make it work and their relationships are great. For me, I don't tend to realize someone is using me until it's too late. :/ It's definitely a learned skill. Consider your new relationship with yourself and money. Like you're married to money. If you stay in SW, focus on stacking as MUCH as you possibly can, meeting your goals and crafting an exit plan.

    It sucks when you feel you're at rock bottom but as someone else said the only other direction to go from here is up! Best of luck to you.

Similar Threads

  1. What would you do? Got A situation
    By Kay21 in forum Life Support
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 03-18-2009, 11:42 PM
  2. What would you do in this situation?
    By fifi in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 07-13-2007, 12:46 PM
  3. ridiculous situation--what would you do?
    By Picaresque in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 01-04-2007, 05:55 AM
  4. How would you have handled a situation like this? (kinda long)
    By vidadiva in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 11-21-2006, 08:49 AM
  5. Would you do an OTC in this situation!?
    By Lola Lee in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 45
    Last Post: 07-18-2006, 08:37 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •