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Thread: I feel like I’m wasting life

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    Senior Member whodathoe's Avatar
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    Default I feel like I’m wasting life

    I’m in my mid 20s and I don’t feel like I’m living life to my full potential. People my age hang out with friends, plan and go on trips, go out, etc. I’m afraid I’ll turn into an old maid. One days my kids (if I decide I’m having them) are gonna be like mama what was your life like and I’m gonna be blank. I mean why am I gonna say “I would show you a movie I made but you’re too young”

    i know I’m not the only sw’er that doesn’t have friends. How do you all deal with this? Plus even if I had friends I’d be scared to even have them because after the wrong argument I’d be “the pornhub smut.”

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    Senior Member Yvonne.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel like I’m wasting life

    If you enjoyed doing what you did, I was not wasted time!
    You are still young, you can literally do whatever you want.

    Is there something you would like to change / achieve so that you could say: "that's what I want to tell my children / friends one day"

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    Default Re: I feel like I’m wasting life

    Quote Originally Posted by whodathoe View Post
    I’m in my mid 20s and I don’t feel like I’m living life to my full potential. People my age hang out with friends, plan and go on trips, go out, etc. I’m afraid I’ll turn into an old maid. One days my kids (if I decide I’m having them) are gonna be like mama what was your life like and I’m gonna be blank. I mean why am I gonna say “I would show you a movie I made but you’re too young”

    i know I’m not the only sw’er that doesn’t have friends. How do you all deal with this? Plus even if I had friends I’d be scared to even have them because after the wrong argument I’d be “the pornhub smut.”
    I could be described as "an old maid" OR "a career woman." In the Westernized world, women get to choose.

    Spend some quality time alone thinking about WHY you don't feel like you're living up to your full potential. ID your bad habits and eliminate wastefulness from your life.

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    Default Re: I feel like I’m wasting life

    "People my age hang out with friends, plan and go on trips, go out, etc."

    Or to put it another way they are hedonists and narcissists without the brains to defer gratification while they concentrate on an education and career.

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    God/dess lynn2009's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel like I’m wasting life

    OP, if you want to be more active and go out more but don't have anyone to do things with, start volunteering or going to MeetUps (meetup.com). If you are simply are an introverted person and happy by yourself, stay in your comfort zone and try not to worry about how it looks to other people. You don't need to do those things to have a full life (and likewise people who do enjoy going out more aren't being inherently superficial). We're all different people.
    "There are different kinds of darkness. There is darkness that frightens, the darkness that soothes, the darkness that is restful. There is the darkness of lovers, and the darkness of assassins. It becomes what the bearer wishes it to be, needs it to be. It is not wholly bad or good."
    - The Court of Mist and Fury

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    God/dess SnuffleUffleGrass's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel like I’m wasting life

    Quote Originally Posted by slowpoke View Post
    "People my age hang out with friends, plan and go on trips, go out, etc."

    Or to put it another way they are hedonists and narcissists without the brains to defer gratification while they concentrate on an education and career.
    I'm only going to reply to this b/c I'm sick of some of the male posters on SW constantly trying to talk down to women here.


    In my lifetime I've known plenty of people (male, female, trans, etc.) who have lived all their dreams while maybe not using the most conventional paths to achieve those dreams.

    Your time in youth needs to be measured by how much you grow towards the things you really want out of life- is it family, career, great wealth...what?

    In Westernized countries people often run into trouble seeing their lives clearly due to what I call "touchy feely culture" and the belief in fast shortcuts to success.

    No breaths in your life are wasted if you are living your own personal truth, and walking the path you are meant to be on!

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    Senior Member whodathoe's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel like I’m wasting life

    Honestly I feel like the problem is not having friends AND family problems—I’m literally by myself. Sometimes I feel like I want friends then I remember my occupation and I’m like...naw plus I have things I want to do in “real life” that i want to start on but I haven’t because I’m (possibly over) thinking about what can happen if someone finds the sexwork identity and puts two and two together

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    Default Re: I feel like I’m wasting life

    ^ Is there are reason you can't at least try a couple vanilla life friendships ? I mean ..... you don't have to initially announce you are a sex worker. Maybe it'll come out shortly or maybe not at all.

    It almost seems like you are SURE no one will be your friend if you do sex work. It might be true of some and not true of others. It's probably not info to give on the first few meetings anyway ?

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    Default Re: I feel like I’m wasting life

    Quote Originally Posted by carmen_b View Post
    ^ Is there are reason you can't at least try a couple vanilla life friendships ? I mean ..... you don't have to initially announce you are a sex worker. Maybe it'll come out shortly or maybe not at all.

    It almost seems like you are SURE no one will be your friend if you do sex work. It might be true of some and not true of others. It's probably not info to give on the first few meetings anyway ?
    Right, I have plenty of friends and they all know..

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    Senior Member whodathoe's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel like I’m wasting life

    Quote Originally Posted by carmen_b View Post
    ^ Is there are reason you can't at least try a couple vanilla life friendships ? I mean ..... you don't have to initially announce you are a sex worker. Maybe it'll come out shortly or maybe not at all.

    It almost seems like you are SURE no one will be your friend if you do sex work. It might be true of some and not true of others. It's probably not info to give on the first few meetings anyway ?
    I’ve tried it seems I keep attracting fake friends.... even the ones I grew up with I had to find out the hard way they weren’t my friends at all

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    Senior Member Yvonne.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel like I’m wasting life

    What I’ve learned in doing SW for two years is that you have to lie a lot in order to fit in in normal life and to be accepted. And to everyone.
    Make things up when meeting new people. Say you are a freelancer doing idk logos, reselling on ebay, digital marketing or whatever from home. It’s your life, you don’t owe the truth to anyone…

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    Default Re: I feel like I’m wasting life

    I understand how you feel. Being a sex worker can be very isolating and sometimes I feel like I can't relate to people. Im not sure what type of work that you, but doing videos and not having a lot of contact with people can limit your social circle. I definitely felt that I made more friends when I went back to school and had a vanilla job. Its hard to know who to trust, especially in the sex industry. Also I felt I made more friends as a stripper instead of doing porn. You can talk to and hang out with your coworkers at the club.

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    Default Re: I feel like I’m wasting life

    Quote Originally Posted by carmen_b View Post
    ^ Is there are reason you can't at least try a couple vanilla life friendships ? I mean ..... you don't have to initially announce you are a sex worker. Maybe it'll come out shortly or maybe not at all.

    It almost seems like you are SURE no one will be your friend if you do sex work. It might be true of some and not true of others. It's probably not info to give on the first few meetings anyway ?
    I struggled with this for a good while. Depending on where you live, people will ask you straight up in the beginning what you do for a living. Lying never helps nor does coming out straight with the facts...being vague or just talking about a side job, if you have one, makes it much easier.

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    Default Re: I feel like I’m wasting life

    Quote Originally Posted by Yvonne. View Post
    What I’ve learned in doing SW for two years is that you have to lie a lot in order to fit in in normal life and to be accepted. And to everyone.
    Make things up when meeting new people. Say you are a freelancer doing idk logos, reselling on ebay, digital marketing or whatever from home. It’s your life, you don’t owe the truth to anyone…
    I think this is true, and the last line is especially true. But it can be extremely draining 'living a double life.' Depending on your personality, it can feel just as damaging having relationships but feeling you are living inauthentically as it can when being open about what you do and feeling shunned/isolated.

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    Senior Member whodathoe's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel like I’m wasting life

    Ive taken some precautions obviously when it comes to sex work. I only have one phone (I was gonna buy another one but after this pandemic I’ve decided not to spend money on anything that wasn’t an immediate need). This one phone has 2 browsers—safari for vanilla, DuckDuckGo for sex work and two vpns.

    I’ve also decided not to have two social medias with the same account (ie 2 tumblrs—even though I haven’t made any vanilla accounts yet).

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    Default Re: I feel like I’m wasting life

    Quote Originally Posted by whodathoe View Post
    I’m in my mid 20s and I don’t feel like I’m living life to my full potential. People my age hang out with friends, plan and go on trips, go out, etc. I’m afraid I’ll turn into an old maid. One days my kids (if I decide I’m having them) are gonna be like mama what was your life like and I’m gonna be blank. I mean why am I gonna say “I would show you a movie I made but you’re too young”

    i know I’m not the only sw’er that doesn’t have friends. How do you all deal with this? Plus even if I had friends I’d be scared to even have them because after the wrong argument I’d be “the pornhub smut.”
    Do you know anyone in the same industry as you, who you can be friends with?

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    Senior Member whodathoe's Avatar
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    Duh Re: I feel like I’m wasting life

    Quote Originally Posted by eagle2 View Post
    Do you know anyone in the same industry as you, who you can be friends with?
    I don’t and I don’t live the kind of place that would be open to that. I tried making friends in CL when I first started lolol #epicfail

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    Default Re: I feel like I’m wasting life

    Are there any group activities you'd be interested in? Do you play any sports? There are some sports leagues for adults. If you get involved with group activities, people are less likely to ask you personal details about your life, than if you just did things with one or two friends. If you're asked what type of work you do, maybe tell them you're a model.

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    Default Re: I feel like I’m wasting life

    The best person to do things with is yourself.
    There is no one on this Earth, who truly knows everything you enjoy besides yourself.
    Many times when you enjoy your own company, you let off an aura to those around you.
    This opens up an opportunity to meet new people and explore who you are through your own unique traits.

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    Default Re: I feel like I’m wasting life

    Do you have a pet? Adopting a small rescue dog added so much to my life. It helped me to be less lonely and I also started walking around my neighborhood every day, because of course he needs walks. From doing that, I've struck up conversations and made some friends with some women and men who work at the pet store down the street and other shops in the neighborhood. I've never mentioned my sex work or dancing. It's made me feel more part of the neighborhood, it's connected me to other pet owners, and it offers a bit of social lubrication when I'm out and about.

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    Default Re: I feel like I’m wasting life

    Quote Originally Posted by BambiCutie View Post
    Many times when you enjoy your own company, you let off an aura to those around you.
    Completely agree.

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    Default Re: I feel like I’m wasting life

    Life is bursty. you'll have stretches where nothing goes right and then a streak when it seems nothing can stop you. Recognize the patterns and your response to them.

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    Default Re: I feel like I’m wasting life

    my advice to you is to go to porn.
    if you are asian and love to fuck then i will wait for your content here
    Last edited by cowardbevan; 08-25-2020 at 01:26 AM.

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    Default Re: I feel like I’m wasting life

    Do you have any hobbies or think there might be? Something you would be passionate about? You could join a group for cooking classes or photography or kayaking or....
    Originally Posted by
    I don't know what it is about me that says "wife me up." Everyone wants to choke me or date me. Or both. This job is weird.


    Originally Posted by Nocturnelle
    ... Kittens are assholes but they're just so darn cute.

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    Default Re: I feel like I’m wasting life

    Lol, I swear I had a friend, we got into a fight and of course she talks all this shit about how im a stripper, like shes better making hardly any $ for 40 hours a week... Ive found all the girls ive been friends w thats y i tell nobody either so it causes me to have to hide too much of my life to ever be super close. I never expose what I do under any circumstances anymore, been there done that too many times. I loved talking about it especially when I was new making $$ for the first time was so exciting I loved to talk about it, but really the whole time Im getting judged so why for what Its my myself n I, is what it is.. But I have found several surface relationships can be nice.. Like just so I can have someone to go out with or talk to sometimes but never too deep lol

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