Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: Disclosing sex work

  1. #1
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Nov 2019
    Posts
    327
    Thanks
    978
    Thanked 673 Times in 261 Posts

    Default Disclosing sex work

    I actually signed up to see a therapist through pineapple support to process the details, but until then I’d like some support.

    Im transitioning online because of covid-19. I’m thinking of going back in the closet. I’m just exhausted from the amount of judgement and criticism I get. I feel so bad for lying. I hate living a double life. I think Sam was the one that told me lies are to protect the innocent. I suppose self-disclosure is just boundary-nothing more or less.

    Thanks for any support
    Last edited by moneybags; 05-09-2020 at 08:58 PM.

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to moneybags For This Useful Post:


  3. #2
    Veteran Member Adrienne7's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2015
    Posts
    368
    Thanks
    404
    Thanked 784 Times in 244 Posts

    Default Re: Disclosing sex work

    I like to think of it as part of my personal life that I don't discuss with strangers or my parents. Kind of like masturbation. It's just no one else's business. I feel you though, it is really hard to live the double life. Depends on your living situation too. I actually moved 3 hours away from family so that I could pursue dancing in peace without having to make as many excuses as to why I wasn't available for this or that family gathering. I have managed to find a couple of close people I can tell, which helps. Good luck to you!

  4. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Adrienne7 For This Useful Post:


  5. #3
    God/dess carmen_b's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Vegas - ish .....
    Posts
    7,870
    Thanks
    7,973
    Thanked 9,021 Times in 4,143 Posts

    Default Re: Disclosing sex work

    ^ Same !
    I consider discretion and lying a little different.
    I don't tell my family about sex work in the same way I wouldn't tell my family about sex * life * with partners. We just don't " go there " .

    Same policy with most friends.

    Discretion is about appropriateness.

  6. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to carmen_b For This Useful Post:


  7. #4
    Senior Member Yayayasmine's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2019
    Posts
    80
    Thanks
    224
    Thanked 72 Times in 35 Posts

    Default Re: Disclosing sex work

    You might find that youíre better off lying than telling the truth. I was open and honest about doing sex work to somebody who I thought would have my back and they completely turned on me and I will never have a good relationship with them again. You might think that being honest is the right thing to do because most people encourage you to do it, but it might not work out for you like you think. And honestly a lot of people will respond to what you do in the same way whether you tell them or they find out on their own if they donít like what you do. What youíre doing isnít hurting anyone and all youíre trying to do is provide for yourself during a tough time. People love to shit on sex workers but over half of the Internet is made of porn and other sexual content. And I bet you 99% of the people who are saying those things online would never say them to your face. A lot of the people who talk shit are probably men who are mad because they canít fuck you and people who are mad that youíre confident to show your body. People love to take out their own insecurities on other people who are confident within themselves.

  8. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Yayayasmine For This Useful Post:


  9. #5
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Nov 2019
    Posts
    327
    Thanks
    978
    Thanked 673 Times in 261 Posts

    Default Re: Disclosing sex work

    Thanks! I got in touch with pineapple support. I’m just angry that this a thing women even have to deal with. Our bodies are our business.

    I believe this is a case of if you’re told a lie long enough and loud enough you start to believe it. I’ve just over and over again heard verbally and non-verbally what a shameful, inferior person I am and it’s hard to not internalize it. Obviously on some level my soul knows that’s all bullshit. I was meditating and journaling and it really wasn’t helping. I hope this goes well. I’m looking forward to unfucking my brain from BS social conditioning.

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to moneybags For This Useful Post:


  11. #6
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Aug 2019
    Posts
    79
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 83 Times in 36 Posts

    Default Re: Disclosing sex work

    Firstly, you are protecting yourself by not telling the truth to everyone, and also you are protecting other people like your family and friends because maybe the truth would hurt them. Your job is your personal thing. Lying can be confusing on beginning, but with time you will already know all the lies you will tell them and you have "the story" prepared. I can chat about my "job" for hours

  12. The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Yvonne. For This Useful Post:


  13. #7
    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2004
    Location
    lapland
    Posts
    7,900
    Thanks
    7,422
    Thanked 5,471 Times in 2,039 Posts
    My Mood
    In Love

    Default Re: Disclosing sex work

    Quote Originally Posted by moneybags View Post
    Iíve just over and over again heard verbally and non-verbally what a shameful, inferior person I am and itís hard to not internalize it. Obviously on some level my soul knows thatís all bullshit. I was meditating and journaling and it really wasnít helping. I hope this goes well. Iím looking forward to unfucking my brain from BS social conditioning.
    It's abuse, it's misogyny, and you are wise to avoid these hateful people pretending to be well meaning.

  14. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Optimist For This Useful Post:


  15. #8
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Nov 2019
    Posts
    327
    Thanks
    978
    Thanked 673 Times in 261 Posts

    Default Re: Disclosing sex work

    There's a few responses to oppression and oppressive teachings

    "1)Rebel, stand up for yourself. The good part is that you hang onto your power, the negative part that you are labeled a trouble maker and lose access to rewards from society.

    2)Appear to go along with oppressive teachings, but secretly hang on to your beliefs. The positive aspect of this choice are that you get rewards from society, and you hang on to yourself. The negative part is that you live a dual existence. You might appear manipulative or sneaky because you change your behavior to fit in with the dominant group. in reality, you are trying to survive.

    3) Buy into the value system of the dominant group and oppress yourself by believing what they say is true."

    So there's not a lot of good options.

    "If you take a minute to think of all the ways you have been put in a double bind and how it felt you might get mad. That's good because instead of thinking you are crazy, you think the system we live in is crazy."

    -Charlotte Sophia Kasl

    thanks for letting me share. Seeing it in black and white really helped me. Hope it helps someone else too.

  16. The Following User Says Thank You to moneybags For This Useful Post:


  17. #9
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Nov 2019
    Posts
    327
    Thanks
    978
    Thanked 673 Times in 261 Posts

    Default Re: Disclosing sex work

    Update: went and talked to a sex work friendly therapist. It really helped validate that sex work is really just work. I started doing better at camming because instead of feeling ashamed. I was like, “oh I need to work.” Just like any other person who had a job goes to work.

    I think my friend even though she has a lot of good qualities is just too religious to support me. My mom is a toxic, so she can’t support me in anything.

    Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes. Frued

  18. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to moneybags For This Useful Post:


  19. #10
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Oct 2018
    Posts
    95
    Thanks
    127
    Thanked 128 Times in 46 Posts
    My Mood
    Yeehaw

    Default Re: Disclosing sex work

    (Not using you specifically directed at you moneybags lol just in general)
    It really irritates me that society can't just see that sex work is infact just another job and it is a GOOD LEGIT option if you are the one who is choosing this for yourself. It can drastically change your life and get you out of the 9-5 rat race and we learn so many skills in this field. You get freedom you could never experience in a 9-5, unlimited earning potential and connections to many wonderful people. It pays the bills and (usually) allows for lots of saving room and a higher quality life. Point blank period. Sex work has also helped me to embrace womanhood, my sexuality and self care that were otherwise suppressed from religion/parents' beliefs. I have finally learned to love and be proud of my decision which is the best one for me at this time but I am still selective with who I will discuss it with.

  20. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to bananaqueen For This Useful Post:


Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 4
    Last Post: 06-02-2019, 02:51 AM
  2. Disclosing relationship status on cam. What to do?
    By LittleLolaRose in forum Camming Connection
    Replies: 45
    Last Post: 11-09-2013, 01:54 AM
  3. sex, sex, sex and more sex!!!!!!!
    By sadbuttrue in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 04-25-2005, 10:25 AM
  4. sex, Sex, SEX!!!
    By fancygirl in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 04-24-2005, 05:41 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •