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Thread: Should I quit only fans for my boyfriend?

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    Sad Should I quit only fans for my boyfriend?

    Okay so gonna give a quick description:

    me and my partner have been dating for a year now, about 3 months ago I left my vanilla job which I hated to become a stripper (I had been pole dancing since before we met and also had a pole in my room before this) he’s always been more like the tolerant boyfriend rather than the supportive one but he’s been trying to change that because he realises it’s his own insecurities giving him an issue. He still makes comments like ‘why couldn’t you get a normal job’ when i literally applied for so many other jobs that didn’t even give me an email back and since I started stripping I’ve realised I love doing it and he kind of just tolerates it.

    to the point: (also we live together for context) so we recently went into lockdown and I obviously couldn’t strip so I decided to ask him if it was alright if I started an only fans even though he’d told me earlier on that he wouldn’t be able to handle it but I thought since I wasn’t making any money and he couldn’t support me then maybe he’d be okay with it especially since it was just for the money. He reluctantly agreed and said he’d see how it goes. A week ago we had a huge fight and ended up breaking up because of this and other shit and he said stuff like “you should’ve never even started this only fans while in a relationship” anyway.. I was going through a bad time and I do love him and I ended up reaching an all time low and begging him to stay and said I’ll delete my only fans once I go back to work and he came back to me and we have been together since.

    Im now about to go back to work as lockdown has finished and I’ve realised that I made way too harsh of a decision by saying I’d give it up for him. I like being able to make a few extra hundred dollars online and I view it as only a job. His view on it is he doesn’t want guys masturbating to me which I just find ugh cause they could literally be wanking to my instagram for free but now I’m getting money out of it while feeling empowered as fuck. Also I think Itd be a bit unfair on my subs to just stop posting when they’ve paid for the month.

    Am am I the bad guy here cause I said I’d give it up and now don’t want to? I don’t know what to do because I know that with him it’s either this relationship or me having an only fans. I love him but I love what I do and how empowered and strong it makes me feel.

    sorry if this was a bit long, any advice would be appreciated 😅

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    Default Re: Should I quit only fans for my boyfriend?

    First of all, why the hell do men think being in a relationship has anything to do with running a business? They seem to think it's for sexual gratification and not money which to me is so strange. There is no way in hell I would interact with any of these customers if they weren't paying me. I doubt your boyfriend will ever understand this if he has that kind of attitude.

    Would he give up his job for you? Probably not.

    Is he planning to replace not only your income you currently make from OnlyFans but the future increase in income you will lose if it takes off and really grows? Probably not.

    You're allowed to change your mind.


    I just noticed you say he lives with you. Maybe you trust him, but I've seen these type of jealousy issues go very very bad. See if you can arrange a place to go to get away if things go bad. Also put passwords on all your computers and phones.

    I've seen possessive guys get into accounts and either change the banking info to their own banks or delete everything out of revenge. If you do decide to keep posting and making money, I would branch out and sell your content on other sites, iwantciips, clips4sale, niteflirt, manyvids, etc. because who knows how long it will be till the economy picks up. I wish I had done this years ago and gone all out instead of only doing this as a side job.




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    Default Re: Should I quit only fans for my boyfriend?

    Thank you for the response! Sadly I can’t really get away as it’s my parents house and we have a big downstairs area and I also have my cats to care for. I guess that also makes it harder cause if we break up he doesn’t have a place to live anymore and that makes me feel even worse because it’s like I’m kicking him out. I just don’t know how much longer I can deal with having someone who can’t support my way of making income :/ we also had planned out future shit together and have pets together which only makes it harder :/ I’m just so lost ��

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    Default Re: Should I quit only fans for my boyfriend?

    Quote Originally Posted by Valariespins View Post
    Am am I the bad guy here cause I said I’d give it up and now don’t want to? I don’t know what to do because I know that with him it’s either this relationship or me having an only fans. I love him but I love what I do and how empowered and strong it makes me feel.

    sorry if this was a bit long, any advice would be appreciated 😅
    No you’re not! If he can’t take what you’re doing, it’s his problem.

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    Default Re: Should I quit only fans for my boyfriend?

    No.

    Not unless he’s marrying you n taking care of you financially

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    Default Re: Should I quit only fans for my boyfriend?

    Tell him you spoke to a recruiter and you’re getting the notion to join the Army. Gauge his reaction to that. I don’t recommend actually doing it. Trust me when I say getting blown up by an IED isn’t fun. But see how he reacts to that. I think that’ll tell you a lot.
    Life asked Death, “Death, why do people love me but hate you?”

    Death responded, “Because you are a beautiful lie… and I am a painful truth”

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    Default Re: Should I quit only fans for my boyfriend?

    Is he paying all of your bills and giving you a big lifestyle? No. Until he does, then you get your coin baby. Don't let that fool get in the way of your bag!
    Last edited by AriaSunset; 08-30-2020 at 08:19 PM. Reason: error

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    Default Re: Should I quit only fans for my boyfriend?

    Kick his ass out. He sounds like a leech. He lives with you and your parents, doesn't sound like he makes enough money to be setting limits on YOUR income generating activities.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."


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    Default Re: Should I quit only fans for my boyfriend?

    If this guy isn't paying your bills, rent, and putting food on your table he has no say in what you do to support yourself. He doesn't want guys to masturbate to you? Guys will masturbate to you regardless. Point in case, I once had a platonic guy friend who was caught by his wife masturbating to a picture on my personal Facebook of me from the waist up in a bikini, driving a speedboat. It ruined our friendship but back to your story and like you said, guys could be jacking off to your Instagram and any picture of you for free. Tell him that if he's willing to give you the extra income to make up for the loss of OnlyFans income, you'll consider it. My guess is that he won't. Do what you need to do to make money. You can survive on money. Love from an insecure guy doesn't pay the bills.

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    Default Re: Should I quit only fans for my boyfriend?

    Quote Originally Posted by WendiStarr View Post
    If this guy isn't paying your bills, rent, and putting food on your table he has no say in what you do to support yourself. He doesn't want guys to masturbate to you? Guys will masturbate to you regardless. Point in case, I once had a platonic guy friend who was caught by his wife masturbating to a picture on my personal Facebook of me from the waist up in a bikini, driving a speedboat. It ruined our friendship but back to your story and like you said, guys could be jacking off to your Instagram and any picture of you for free. Tell him that if he's willing to give you the extra income to make up for the loss of OnlyFans income, you'll consider it. My guess is that he won't. Do what you need to do to make money. You can survive on money. Love from an insecure guy doesn't pay the bills.
    All of this, and guys like that have a problem with ANY job where you have to be sweet and personable to customers to close sales/get return business (bartending, barista work, high end sales, real estate, etc.) His insecurity is not yours.

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    Default Re: Should I quit only fans for my boyfriend?

    He is your boyfriend not your husband he has no right to tell you anything.Also tell him to leave.
    xoxo

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    Default Re: Should I quit only fans for my boyfriend?

    Just adding to this !

    This guy seems to offer nothing.

    Get a dude with a job / house / car. No excuses . No exceptions.

    There are plenty out there and their dicks work just as well as those with no income ( actually better due to being able to take you on nice dates which certainly puts ME in the mood lol ).

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    Default Re: Should I quit only fans for my boyfriend?

    I'm not sure what age you are but you strike me as young . I'd honestly probably date 8-10 years " up " .

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    Default Re: Should I quit only fans for my boyfriend?

    When I was still in the dating scene, there were many guys who were uncomfortable, but somewhat accepting of my work. One thing I noticed was when they would claim to be (Somewhat accepting) there was always a catch to this. They would want to know the site I was on, ask to sit out of view during a session claiming it was a turn on. Soon as this happened they started to become less accepting and more controlling when I made changes to my work, often making a scene and wanting me to isolate myself from other guys. They either left because they couldn't handle my work or thought that this job was a green light to hook up with other girls out of revenge. Then there were a few guys who were completely chill and encouraging about the whole thing, even going as far to ask how work went and not being uptight about it.

    What I cannot understand for the life of me, is why some guys date or enter into relationships swearing that they are comfortable with this job. Lie about being okay with what the job entails, while giving their support, then suddenly turn around and have a problem with it out of the blue. I think when dating someone who claims to accept this job, it is not fully accepting when they feel the need to avoid all contact during sessions or having to blanket the work to prevent them from being hurt. I feel this is a sign that they were never accepting of it in the first place.

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    Default Re: Should I quit only fans for my boyfriend?

    Yeah almost 100% of the guys I have dated have been “totally cool” with my profession. That is until my work schedule doesn’t work with theirs or I tell them a positive story about a caring customer. There are lots of emotionally secure men who will love and accept us, we just have to wade through the insecure ones to find them. Pay attention to how a partner makes you feel about yourself

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    Default Re: Should I quit only fans for my boyfriend?

    Girl, you are single until you are married.

    When you go to the doctors office and fill out forms there's 3 options: 1 Single 2 Married 3 Divorced/widowed. When you do your taxes you are either 1 of the 3 I listed above.

    Unless that man puts a ring on it and pays your bills, his opinions are fucking irrelevant. Take care of yourself first. Men with their insecurities are completely a waste of time.

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    Default Re: Should I quit only fans for my boyfriend?

    *Rant*

    Men are ALL about being boyfriend and girlfriend. They hardly EVER want to be married. This is because in both circumstances you are sexually exclusive to their cock only. But in marriage they actually have to be committed financially. No man wants commitment. Why buy the cow when the milk is for free???

    When I told my old boyfriend that ill be in a relationship with him and have sex with him.... but as long as my Taxes said single, I am in fact single. That means I can see anyone I want. He literally proposed a month later.

    Put men in check. Fuck their jealously. You should be provided for. You are the prize. The world revolves around beautiful women. Period the end.

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    Default Re: Should I quit only fans for my boyfriend?

    Quote Originally Posted by kamiliam View Post
    Yeah almost 100% of the guys I have dated have been “totally cool” with my profession. That is until my work schedule doesn’t work with theirs or I tell them a positive story about a caring customer. There are lots of emotionally secure men who will love and accept us, we just have to wade through the insecure ones to find them. Pay attention to how a partner makes you feel about yourself
    Mine is 95% completely fine with my profession (the 5% being a bad day if he's feeling unappreciated or ignored lately). I still try to be careful with positive stories about customers in case it's one of those bad days. Most of the time it's "Good, I'm glad you had an easy night and made money", but there are rare occasions where I can see a little sour look come through :/

    There are definitely lots of men who want you to hate all of your customers all the time so they can reassure themselves that you're only there for the money & aren't gonna run off with Sancho. With those guys, it's like really? You essentially want your lady to be unhappy at work all the time? That's not very caring or boyfriend-y of you...
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

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    Default Re: Should I quit only fans for my boyfriend?

    No! Fuck him.
    Focus more on what you want than on what you don’t want

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    Default Re: Should I quit only fans for my boyfriend?

    He's not ok with you doing it, but I bet you he probably follows some online models on the low. Men are so hypocritical.

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    Default Re: Should I quit only fans for my boyfriend?

    Quote Originally Posted by Valariespins View Post
    Okay so gonna give a quick description:

    me and my partner have been dating for a year now, about 3 months ago I left my vanilla job which I hated to become a stripper (I had been pole dancing since before we met and also had a pole in my room before this) he’s always been more like the tolerant boyfriend rather than the supportive one but he’s been trying to change that because he realises it’s his own insecurities giving him an issue. He still makes comments like ‘why couldn’t you get a normal job’ when i literally applied for so many other jobs that didn’t even give me an email back and since I started stripping I’ve realised I love doing it and he kind of just tolerates it.

    to the point: (also we live together for context) so we recently went into lockdown and I obviously couldn’t strip so I decided to ask him if it was alright if I started an only fans even though he’d told me earlier on that he wouldn’t be able to handle it but I thought since I wasn’t making any money and he couldn’t support me then maybe he’d be okay with it especially since it was just for the money. He reluctantly agreed and said he’d see how it goes. A week ago we had a huge fight and ended up breaking up because of this and other shit and he said stuff like “you should’ve never even started this only fans while in a relationship” anyway.. I was going through a bad time and I do love him and I ended up reaching an all time low and begging him to stay and said I’ll delete my only fans once I go back to work and he came back to me and we have been together since.

    Im now about to go back to work as lockdown has finished and I’ve realised that I made way too harsh of a decision by saying I’d give it up for him. I like being able to make a few extra hundred dollars online and I view it as only a job. His view on it is he doesn’t want guys masturbating to me which I just find ugh cause they could literally be wanking to my instagram for free but now I’m getting money out of it while feeling empowered as fuck. Also I think Itd be a bit unfair on my subs to just stop posting when they’ve paid for the month.

    Am am I the bad guy here cause I said I’d give it up and now don’t want to? I don’t know what to do because I know that with him it’s either this relationship or me having an only fans. I love him but I love what I do and how empowered and strong it makes me feel.

    sorry if this was a bit long, any advice would be appreciated ��
    Even if yoU worked a “normal” job and earned money fully clothed from
    Both men and women he’d still have a problem when you don’t have enough time for him or don’t have sex enough cause you’re tired from work.

    He should consider himself lucky you haven’t left his ass nor picked up a sugar daddy yet.

    Do not let these dudes derail your financial goals because they have petty insecurities

    We shouldn’t have to chose between romantic love and financial well-being
    Last edited by miss.a.p1600; 09-15-2020 at 06:26 AM.

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    Default Re: Should I quit only fans for my boyfriend?

    Quote Originally Posted by miss.a.p1600 View Post
    We shouldn’t have to chose between romantic love and financial well-being
    I wish I learned this a long time ago and I second this entirely. You need to put your financial stability first!
    Otherwise if you bend to what he wants, this could financially impact your life for a long time.
    You will be left in a confused state and questioning what is the right path to take, which causes avoidance to make him comfortable.
    He may not be financially struggling, but you sure as hell will and that can cause a lot of resentment and depression.
    This greatly opens the risk of becoming financially dependent on him and that is an absolute, miserable way to live!
    It might be one thing he asks you to give up, but soon after this it is likely he will ask you to give up other things.
    If you agree to quit the smallest area of your work, it is comfortable assuming that he will ask that you quit the industry completely.
    Also there hasn't been any update since posted. I hope this wasn't the case..

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    Default Re: Should I quit only fans for my boyfriend?

    Get a new boyfriend. You will quit, and then you're gonna break up, and then have to start over and that blows. Plus, he probably is gonna get more controlling if you let him get away with that.

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  45. #24
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    Default Re: Should I quit only fans for my boyfriend?

    It depends if he pays most of the bills or not. If so, then if it worth breaking up and finding a new place to live? Especially since the club scene is fucked up right now? How much are you really making? If you’re splitting the bills or your paying most of them...then find a new one and keep doing what your doing.
    So it’s a complicated answer because you have to decide what is worth it to you.
    Earn $$$ from sexting and phone calls:
    https://www.sextpanther.com/apply?id=3508

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    Default Re: Should I quit only fans for my boyfriend?

    Quote Originally Posted by jasmine22 View Post
    It depends if he pays most of the bills or not. If so, then if it worth breaking up and finding a new place to live? Especially since the club scene is fucked up right now? How much are you really making? If you’re splitting the bills or your paying most of them...then find a new one and keep doing what your doing.
    So it’s a complicated answer because you have to decide what is worth it to you.
    She said the guy doesn't even have a place to live! He is living with her parents.

    I see no need to have a man in my life anyway unless he is at least as successful as me and has a place to live (without roommates). Can't respect a man who doesn't even have financial security. Much better to be single.



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