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Thread: Male Dancer -- Lap Dancing

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    Default Male Dancer -- Lap Dancing

    Where I live, there are no lap dancing classes. However, I recently met a girl who isn't a stripper, but is familiar with the industry. She said that lap dancing isn't her expertise, but that she's dominatrix and can teach me a lot that I can implement in lap dances.

    Should I take her offer once she tells me her hourly fee? Do you think it would be beneficial or harmful to do that style of dance, as far as getting tips and selling more dances?

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    Default Re: Male Dancer -- Lap Dancing

    I wouldn't see it being harmful if it teaches you how to lap dance, but I would ask for a consensual contract in addition to her hourly fee given she is a dominatrix.
    The one issue is that she does not have experience as a stripper, (What was stated) which leaves to question whether her techniques are successful in the clubs.

    If you do choose to proceed forward I would get this in a contract stating that she will be teaching you moves that can be implemented into lap dances.
    You don't want to agree and mainly be trained as a submissive without her teaching you moves that you initially expected.
    Personally would look for someone with dance experience, as they would be able to give you crucial tips that one without experience might not know.

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    Default Re: Male Dancer -- Lap Dancing

    My assumption was that she was going to teach me to be dominant, based on her being that. I need to explicitly ask. I doubt being a submissive male would be successful in clubs, though just about all I know is Magic Mike and female clubs.

    If she is teaching me to be dominant, do you think that would be very helpful?

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    Featured Member BambiCutie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Male Dancer -- Lap Dancing

    I would definitely ask in detail because sometimes (From what I have encountered from another site that I have been trying to find a mentor through) is a tendency to switch roles.
    For example I had a dominatrix with the same fetish switch from agreeing to mentor a dominant role, only to randomly receive suggestions about trying submissive.
    One reason for coming up with a contract is everyone knows what they are agreeing to prior, in addition to previewing their teaching methods.

    Learning a dominant role in the club will no doubt help you to retain thick skin, actively and confidently pursue potential clients, as well voice your boundaries.
    Most importantly it can teach you how to use your dominance to intimidate clients who fond being submissive. Whether it will benefit in learning lap dances is another..
    It depends what she knows with regards to lap dances and whether she has any experience giving them.

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    Default Re: Male Dancer -- Lap Dancing

    Quote Originally Posted by BambiCutie View Post
    Learning a dominant role in the club will no doubt help you to retain thick skin, actively and confidently pursue potential clients, as well voice your boundaries.
    Most importantly it can teach you how to use your dominance to intimidate clients who fond being submissive. Whether it will benefit in learning lap dances is another..
    It depends what she knows with regards to lap dances and whether she has any experience giving them.
    Really? That's a lot of benefits I didn't expect. Maybe I shouldn't even worry about whether it helps me with lap dances.
    Last edited by elseif; 10-06-2020 at 10:56 PM.

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    Default Re: Male Dancer -- Lap Dancing

    I would be curious about what the dominatrix can teach me, but, very skeptical that it will help you for several reasons.

    First of all, I doubt that being dominant with males is the same as being dominant with females. (I am assuming your customers are women. But, no judgment if you cater to both genders.) Her lessons in how to be dominant to her male customers would not translate well into the best techniques for being dominant with females.

    Second, there is a big difference between real BDSM and the Disney fairy tale version of it from Shades of Grey. Your female customers are only looking for the Disney fairy tale version they saw in Shades of Grey. This is basic roleplay and you can learn it simply by reading the books and watching the movies a few times. One of the big appeals of the Christian Grey character was his wealth. So, you may need to dress nice and speak like a rich business guy (e.g., British accent or fancy vocabulary) to play this role.

    Developing into a real BDSM dom (as opposed to the Disney version) is a serious endeavor that requires substantial commitment and special training and lots of practice (seriously, there should be college courses on this). Your best bet would be to join a BDSM community and support group, take classes and workshops, practice with others in the community, etc. It may take a year before you are ready to become a professional dom. There are serious psychological and physical risks in real BDSM activities, so, it would not be responsible to try real BDSM without training and experience; compared to the Disney fairy tale version, which you could learn by just watching the Shades of Grey movie and buying some simple bondage toys and toy paddle, flogger, etc. at your local novelty store.

    Also, you are making an assumption that all your female customers are submissives and want a dominant male. Many woman want to be worshipped and treated like a goddess or princess. If your customers are older cougar types, they might be looking for submissive young guys they can "use". Instead of being dominant, you might need to be submissive - 'yes, ma'am, I'll do ANYTHING to make you happy ma'am'. The most important thing is to read women. They will tell you half of what they want and the other half you have to read in their expression and body language.
    Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
    - Oscar Wilde

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