Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 39

Thread: Dating?

  1. #1
    Member
    Joined
    Sep 2020
    Posts
    42
    Thanks
    12
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Dating?

    The TL; DR is: Do female strippers like having patrons ask them out, and is there a reasonable chance they'd say yes?

    ---

    The (only) local strip club is as much a bar as it is a strip club. Its layout lends to that; on one side, there are a few pool tables, dart boards, and other games. On the other side is the stage and the DJ booth.

    Many of its patrons visit it strictly as a bar. The drinks are cheap, it has games, and it's open later than most bars in the area.

    I've been there roughly 70 times since June, so the staff knows me. I've treated it almost exclusively as a bar -- although I don't ever drink. I play darts or pool, and frequently I do that with a friend; I don't go to the stage side because I'm a broke student and I want to respect the dancers' time. The more time they spend with me, the less time they have to work with real customers. That said, there are often more dancers than patrons, so it's common for the girls to just hang out with people -- mostly with the bartenders or with other dancers.

    -

    There was a male show recently at the club, which I went to because I want to be a stripper once I get buff, and I wanted to see in person what I'll hopefully be doing in the future. I also hoped to meet female patrons there, which unfortunately was a total bust. Anyway, that night I asked one of the bouncers how I'd know which of the patrons were also dancers -- because I didn't want to waste time talking to them. He told me to go for it; they were there as patrons. My reaction was like: Urrggh (see below to understand).

    On another night, I asked a different bouncer about meeting women at the club (if there ever were many, etc.); he told me that if they were drunk, they'd probably only be interested in a hookup at most. If sober, maybe a relationship... I was talking about patrons, but I guess he didn't realize that. I asked how common it is for the women to be sober, and he told me that if they're under 21, they always are... I expressed my shock because I thought only 21+ were allowed in. He explained that dancers can work there at 18. I took that as maybe he was suggesting that I should try asking out a dancer.

    And a couple nights ago, one of the newer dancers asked me if I was single; I am, and she said: 'Well, maybe you'll end up dating a stripper. They're all nice here.'

    -

    I've never bothered trying to meet the girls in hopes of asking them out, for two reasons. First, it was my impression that strippers have so many options that I'd have no chance. Just trying to be realistic. My face is only a bit above average. I have an above-average body, but not substantially so (I started working out just a few months ago), and I don't have money. The only major things I have going for me are my education and that I'm a generally good / nice guy. These girls can easily get way better men every night, can they not? The second reason is because I assumed that they get asked out so many times at the club that it's actually irritating to them, and I didn't want to be rude.

    Was my assessment accurate? Or should I have been (politely) getting to know them all this time to find out if there was any connection? The comments from the staff have made me wonder if my assumptions were way off.

    From what I've recently learned, male strippers are taboo -- in the sense that very few women are willing to date them long-term. But I expect a girl from the club would be accepting of that career, which is maybe the main reason I'm asking this.
    Last edited by elseif; 11-19-2020 at 02:13 AM.

  2. #2
    God/dess
    Joined
    Oct 2018
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    2,183
    Thanks
    2,726
    Thanked 3,888 Times in 1,612 Posts
    My Mood
    Cynical

    Default Re: Dating?

    Quote Originally Posted by elseif View Post
    The TL; DR is: Do female strippers like having patrons ask them out, and is there a reasonable chance they'd say yes?
    Speaking for myself, my answer is most definitely no. Then I have to make up a reason of, “Oh, you know, I really would, but I just can’t because…” and make sure it’s a reason which demonstrates complete unavailability to anyone, not just to them. Then I have to worry about how they’ll react and whether or not they’ll be bitter about it. I’m there to make money, not to find a love connection. Not trying to come across as cold or bitchy, I’m just giving it to you straight.

    As for the odds… certainly not impossible, but overall not favorable. Chances are, they already have a significant other of some form… boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, former sanitation worker named Dave but who now refers to himself as Divine Prophet of Jaweh and Messiah Seer and claims 40 brides among his followers, etc.

    Yeah, you don’t know if you don’t try, but it makes things really awkward, especially when (on our end) we don’t have any interest in the person asking. We’ve encountered all sorts of white knights, heard every pickup line, witnessed every PUA tactic in action, and we just become jaded to it.
    Life asked Death, “Death, why do people love me but hate you?”

    Death responded, “Because you are a beautiful lie… and I am a painful truth”

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to AChildOfBoredom For This Useful Post:


  4. #3
    Member
    Joined
    Sep 2020
    Posts
    42
    Thanks
    12
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: Dating?

    Quote Originally Posted by AChildOfBoredom View Post
    Speaking for myself, my answer is most definitely no. Then I have to make up a reason of, “Oh, you know, I really would, but I just can’t because…” and make sure it’s a reason which demonstrates complete unavailability to anyone, not just to them. Then I have to worry about how they’ll react and whether or not they’ll be bitter about it. I’m there to make money, not to find a love connection. Not trying to come across as cold or bitchy, I’m just giving it to you straight.

    As for the odds… certainly not impossible, but overall not favorable. Chances are, they already have a significant other of some form… boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, former sanitation worker named Dave but who now refers to himself as Divine Prophet of Jaweh and Messiah Seer and claims 40 brides among his followers, etc.

    Yeah, you don’t know if you don’t try, but it makes things really awkward, especially when (on our end) we don’t have any interest in the person asking. We’ve encountered all sorts of white knights, heard every pickup line, witnessed every PUA tactic in action, and we just become jaded to it.
    That's very much what I expected. It's odd to me that the staff made the comments they did... I'll continue doing what I have been, thanks!

  5. #4
    Featured Member Raziel's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Somewhere
    Posts
    1,708
    Thanks
    329
    Thanked 1,250 Times in 756 Posts

    Default Re: Dating?

    You never know until you ask, but you need to make sure she knows you're not trying to just fuck her and then forget her name. It can happen, they are Women after all. But probably not. Usually they'll run you around in circles. In a ten year career, a Stripper might do it twice. Usually, she'll give you a smile and a wink to give you hope, but that's only to keep her income intact.

    Good luck, bro. You're gonna need it.
    Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to Raziel For This Useful Post:


  7. #5
    Member
    Joined
    Sep 2020
    Posts
    42
    Thanks
    12
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: Dating?

    Quote Originally Posted by Raziel View Post
    Usually, she'll give you a smile and a wink to give you hope, but that's only to keep her income intact.
    Yeah, if they flirt with me I immediately assume they're *not* interested, because they get paid to do that. And to respect their time, I tell them right away that I don't buy dances and that I come for the darts. Then they almost always relax and respond by saying it's a slow night anyway, and they just chat with me about normal things like photography. But I guess I was boring; there's only one girl that still chats with me on slow nights. Lol.

  8. #6
    Featured Member Raziel's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Somewhere
    Posts
    1,708
    Thanks
    329
    Thanked 1,250 Times in 756 Posts

    Default Re: Dating?

    Quote Originally Posted by elseif View Post
    I tell them right away that I don't buy dances and that I come for the darts.
    That's not gonna get you anywhere with anyone, sorry to say. Not in a Strip Club. Just avoided. They think you're just a Peeping Tom. Go to a NORMAL bar if you want darts!
    Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it

  9. #7
    Member
    Joined
    Sep 2020
    Posts
    42
    Thanks
    12
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: Dating?

    Quote Originally Posted by Raziel View Post
    That's not gonna get you anywhere with anyone, sorry to say. Not in a Strip Club. Just avoided. They think you're just a Peeping Tom. Go to a NORMAL bar if you want darts!
    Until five months ago, I had never even been in a bar or strip club at all; I was very ignorant, and mostly I still am.

    Recently one of the bouncers explained the culture to me. Basically, it seems that boss set things up so that the club could make more money by serving people who just want a bar and not a strip club (hence the split design). The bouncer expressed his wish that those people would also at least tip the girls so they're making money too and it wouldn't be just the bar that profits... I still don't buy dances, but now I do tip the girls at the stage. I figure that since they let me in without a cover charge due to being a regular, I should at least do that.

  10. #8
    Member
    Joined
    Sep 2020
    Posts
    42
    Thanks
    12
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: Dating?

    Quote Originally Posted by Raziel View Post
    That's not gonna get you anywhere with anyone, sorry to say. Not in a Strip Club. Just avoided. They think you're just a Peeping Tom. Go to a NORMAL bar if you want darts!
    Oh, also... darts *now* isn't the main reason I go. I hang out there rather than somewhere else because I'm hoping that familiarity will result in the boss sending me leads for private parties, once I'm ready to work as a stripper.

  11. #9
    Featured Member Raziel's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Somewhere
    Posts
    1,708
    Thanks
    329
    Thanked 1,250 Times in 756 Posts

    Default Re: Dating?

    Quote Originally Posted by elseif View Post
    it seems that boss set things up so that the club could make more money by serving people who just want a bar and not a strip club (hence the split design).
    Well, no offense Bro, but that's a shit fucking Club. It needs to have an identity, not a split personality. It can't be both a Bar and a Strip Club. It needs to pick one.

    I've never even heard of that.

    BTW, if you just hang out there, what are you doing paying 8$ for a glass of water? Just go to a normal bar. You said you weren't rich. If you're in a Strip Club, if they could they'd make you pay for Oxygen!
    Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it

  12. #10
    Member
    Joined
    Sep 2020
    Posts
    42
    Thanks
    12
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: Dating?

    Quote Originally Posted by Raziel View Post
    Well, no offense Bro, but that's a shit fucking Club. It needs to have an identity, not a split personality. It can't be both a Bar and a Strip Club. It needs to pick one.

    I've never even heard of that.

    BTW, if you just hang out there, what are you doing paying 8$ for a glass of water? Just go to a normal bar. You said you weren't rich. If you're in a Strip Club, if they could they'd make you pay for Oxygen!
    Water's free. Even beers are $2. Based on your reaction, this club is nothing like almost any other club... Very interesting. I hope to check out other clubs some time next year (and buy a dance or two). I'll have to travel though; there are none nearby.

    Re: go to a normal bar... as I said, I want the boss to like me and send me to parties.

    Edit: Oh, they even let me play darts for free, and pool (for everyone) is $1/game instead of the normal $1.5/game that most bars charge. Lol, it's cheaper to hang out at this strip club.

  13. #11
    Featured Member Raziel's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Somewhere
    Posts
    1,708
    Thanks
    329
    Thanked 1,250 Times in 756 Posts

    Default Re: Dating?

    So it's a dive. 2$ beers? Water's free? No fucking way, not in a Strip Club. Sorry but I'm not buying you. No offense, but there's just too much wrong with what you are saying. How does anyone make any money in this Club? If that's true that Club is going to CRAWL and and probably close down soon.

    Around here, it's like 8$ for ANYTHING. And like 20$ for a frozen Pizza that you don't even get to eat because you buy one you get swarmed by Dancers instantly wanting a slice, batting their eyelashes at you.
    Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it

  14. #12
    Member
    Joined
    Sep 2020
    Posts
    42
    Thanks
    12
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: Dating?

    If you want, I can PM you the club name. FB message them and ask how much their discount beers start at, and how much the cover fee is (it's $3).

    And yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if it closes. There used to be at least two other clubs in the area, and they're gone now.

  15. #13
    Featured Member Raziel's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Somewhere
    Posts
    1,708
    Thanks
    329
    Thanked 1,250 Times in 756 Posts

    Default Re: Dating?

    EVERYTHING costs three times as much in a Strip Club. Around here, they sell WATER for EIGHT DOLLARS.
    Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it

  16. #14
    Featured Member Raziel's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Somewhere
    Posts
    1,708
    Thanks
    329
    Thanked 1,250 Times in 756 Posts

    Default Re: Dating?

    Quote Originally Posted by elseif View Post
    If you want, I can PM you the club name. FB message them and ask how much their discount beers start at, and how much the cover fee is (it's $3).

    And yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if it closes. There used to be at least two other clubs in the area, and they're gone now.
    Don't bother. It's not that important to me.
    Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it

  17. #15
    Member
    Joined
    Sep 2020
    Posts
    42
    Thanks
    12
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: Dating?

    Quote Originally Posted by Raziel View Post
    Don't bother. It's not that important to me.
    'Aight.

  18. #16
    God/dess rickdugan's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2010
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    4,262
    Thanks
    3,913
    Thanked 6,936 Times in 2,391 Posts
    My Mood
    Amused

    Default Re: Dating?

    Quote Originally Posted by elseif View Post
    My face is only a bit above average. I have an above-average body, but not substantially so (I started working out just a few months ago), and I don't have money.
    Cheer up elseif. If you strike out at the strip club, maybe you can search for love at the next Victoria Secrets fashion show in Milan.

    If she's out of your league in a regular bar then she's out of your league in a strip club. The only difference is that she doesn't have to talk to you at a regular bar, but at the strip club she would go broke if she ignored every guy that she isn't attracted to.

  19. #17
    Member
    Joined
    Sep 2020
    Posts
    42
    Thanks
    12
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: Dating?

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    Cheer up elseif. If you strike out at the strip club, maybe you can search for love at the next Victoria Secrets fashion show in Milan.

    If she's out of your league in a regular bar then she's out of your league in a strip club. The only difference is that she doesn't have to talk to you at a regular bar, but at the strip club she would go broke if she ignored every guy that she isn't attracted to.
    In a regular bar, I don't think these girls would be out of my league; that is, if they were not strippers -- I assume that's what you meant. I say they're out of my league not because of who they are, but because of how many options they have. Strippers get way more options than regular bar-patronizing girls.

    Anyway,

    At the club I did recently get a patron's number! But she never replied (yes, it was her real number) afterward. She enjoyed talking to me, so I'm thinking she was just too drunk to remember me. Ugh.

    Where I live, there's almost no where to meet women. I went by *the only* pub+bar last night that's known for having eligible women, and there were like five people there total.

    Sigh. This area is depressing. I decided recently that if I don't meet a girl in the next year, I'm saving my money to move.

  20. #18
    God/dess rickdugan's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2010
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    4,262
    Thanks
    3,913
    Thanked 6,936 Times in 2,391 Posts
    My Mood
    Amused

    Default Re: Dating?

    Quote Originally Posted by elseif View Post
    In a regular bar, I don't think these girls would be out of my league; that is, if they were not strippers -- I assume that's what you meant. I say they're out of my league not because of who they are, but because of how many options they have. Strippers get way more options than regular bar-patronizing girls.

    Anyway,

    At the club I did recently get a patron's number! But she never replied (yes, it was her real number) afterward. She enjoyed talking to me, so I'm thinking she was just too drunk to remember me. Ugh.

    Where I live, there's almost no where to meet women. I went by *the only* pub+bar last night that's known for having eligible women, and there were like five people there total.

    Sigh. This area is depressing. I decided recently that if I don't meet a girl in the next year, I'm saving my money to move.
    I thought you said that you're a student. Why don't you meet a girl in your school? That's how most normal college guys get laid. It was certainly how I got laid when I was a broke ass college student.

  21. The Following User Says Thank You to rickdugan For This Useful Post:


  22. #19
    Member
    Joined
    Sep 2020
    Posts
    42
    Thanks
    12
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: Dating?

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    I thought you said that you're a student. Why don't you meet a girl in your school? That's how most normal college guys get laid. It was certainly how I got laid when I was a broke ass college student.
    I wish!

    I'm an online student; my school is over 500 miles away. And no, I can't switch schools; I'm well into my triple major and I'd lose too many credits.

    I started doordashing recently, so maybe I should use some of that money to take a single class on a local campus.

    Edit: Oh, I forsee this question coming... Why would a triple major want to be a stripper? It's largely because I'm friggen' bored! I spent too much of my life over-achieving.

  23. #20
    Featured Member Raziel's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Somewhere
    Posts
    1,708
    Thanks
    329
    Thanked 1,250 Times in 756 Posts

    Default Re: Dating?

    Ok, this is killing me, here. I'm going to bow out now, because he's way too squirrely. I suspect all of us are talking to a Teenager. I don't have time for that. Nothing against Teenagers.
    Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it

  24. #21
    Member
    Joined
    Sep 2020
    Posts
    42
    Thanks
    12
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: Dating?

    Quote Originally Posted by Raziel View Post
    Ok, this is killing me, here. I'm going to bow out now, because he's way too squirrely. I suspect all of us are talking to a Teenager. I don't have time for that. Nothing against Teenagers.
    Rofl, I'm 31. My life was delayed (I'm surely immature in some ways) because of disabilities; it took me over a decade to get useful diagnoses.

    I'm going to send you a couple of things. You can choose to not believe (or even read) any of it if you wish, but I know that you post here a lot and it's better to have allies -- or at least to avoid tension, so I'll see how that goes.
    Last edited by elseif; 11-19-2020 at 11:38 AM.

  25. #22
    Featured Member Raziel's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Somewhere
    Posts
    1,708
    Thanks
    329
    Thanked 1,250 Times in 756 Posts

    Default Re: Dating?

    Dude, no offense, I'm really restraining myself, here. But I don't believe a word you said. Stop sending me PM's. I'm sure you'll find someone to talk to. But it's NOT me.
    Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it

  26. #23
    Featured Member Raziel's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Somewhere
    Posts
    1,708
    Thanks
    329
    Thanked 1,250 Times in 756 Posts

    Default Re: Dating?

    BTW 31 is too old to become a first time Male Stripper.
    Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it

  27. #24
    God/dess rickdugan's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2010
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    4,262
    Thanks
    3,913
    Thanked 6,936 Times in 2,391 Posts
    My Mood
    Amused

    Default Re: Dating?

    Quote Originally Posted by elseif View Post
    Why would a triple major want to be a stripper? It's largely because I'm friggen' bored! I spent too much of my life over-achieving.
    I'm going to play along for one more round.

    You're a lonely broke ass 31 year old man with a Dad bod and questionable looks. I'd hardly call that over-achieving. Putting your whiny excuses aside, you lost over a decade doing nothing about anything. No college age girls is going to want you and almost no girl your own age is going to want you either. What in the world would make you believe that a stripper would be any different?

    Sounds to me like you're putting the cart before the horse. You need to get your physical and financial shit together before you go looking for a mate and you'd better do it fast because you aren't getting any younger. Shit even when you graduate college you'll be making a starting salary, which isn't exactly going to make you the most eligible man in the universe for a decent woman in her late 20s and up who's looking for a life partner to have kids with and help shoulder the load.

    Not that I believe any of this anyway. This whole weird ass unicorn thread is getting downright painful.

  28. The Following User Says Thank You to rickdugan For This Useful Post:


  29. #25
    Member
    Joined
    Sep 2020
    Posts
    42
    Thanks
    12
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: Dating?

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    I'm going to play along for one more round.

    [...]

    Not that I believe any of this anyway. This whole weird ass unicorn thread is getting downright painful.

    I'll offer to send you the same things I tried to send Raziel. Should I bother doing so?

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Dating in LA/Dating as a sex worker
    By ZeroSugarMonster in forum Life Support
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 03-17-2017, 03:33 PM
  2. Any one try online dating?
    By brendalee in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 12-03-2003, 03:28 PM
  3. dating
    By Dreamer in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 06-01-2003, 05:40 AM
  4. Dating a door guy
    By Jersey in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 05-21-2003, 06:26 AM
  5. Dating the DJ?
    By in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 35
    Last Post: 01-26-2003, 10:09 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •