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Thread: Do you have any regrets

  1. #76
    Featured Member jasmine22's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you have any regrets

    Quote Originally Posted by TheWeirdOne View Post
    I regret not having the financial awareness I have now. I regret not doing all the personal development I do now during my dancing career, I may have actually not dated losers and wasted my time and money. I guess I regret not using my great income for something that I could show for it. Today I drove my one of my old clubs (its opened) and I got nostalgia and immediately after, guilt about all that wasted opportunity.
    I wanna add to this. Most of us waste a lot of the money we make in sex work because, we don’t have anyone supporting what we are doing. Who is a financial expert in their 20s? Most of us need financial guidance. That’s why I was happy to find this forum. No one in my real life ever supported me emotionally doing sex work. And it’s difficult to make wise decisions when everyone is telling you, “ why don’t you get a real job?” And literally shaming you for doing this. So we don’t look at it as a real job...Instead of saving and investing like you would a “real job”, girls end up blowing the money or partying.
    This is absolutely a real job and a real opportunity to make good money that would take you years of college and a PHD to make if you do it right. So don’t feel bad because you wasted an opportunity because most of us didn’t have the right support or guidance to help us do the right thing with our money at a young age. I would really suggest that anyone still doing sex work read financial books on how to manage money, save/invest, and I recommend Lola Davina’s “Thriving in sex work” books for some positive inspiration.
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  3. #77
    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you have any regrets

    ^Right, great points!! I think it's complicated by the fact that a lot of dancers handle the money as under-the-table money, so they usually aren't able to put it into investments. 30% tax is hard to swallow when you have bills to pay and are working a job without much societal support and acknowledgment.

    And also, what 18-20 year olds are super great with money, whether they work at a grocery store or in a club? I was lucky to grow up with good financial advice from my mom, so i started a Roth IRA at 18. Which is kind of rare. But even with that benefit, and even though i feel like i saved pretty well, i could have saved so much more cash. That said, i don't have any regrets. I still came out way ahead compared to where i would've been with a vanilla job, and i had fun with what i bought. It helped me learn what i do and don't enjoy...i could do everything from buying a pet to taking my sister out for sushi to buying photography equipment. Sure, i bought a lot of junk, too, but to some degree, that's part of having fun in life. I don't want to restrict my spending and live like a clenched-up raisin until I'm 65, and then start enjoying what life has to offer. It's all about balance.

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  5. #78
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    Default Re: Do you have any regrets

    I did everything I was supposed to do - college, law school, law firm, etc., and I still have many regrets. Sometimes my regret is not working harder to get an ivy league degree. (Which would not have made much difference, except for the prestige of having an ivy league diploma on my wall.) Other times, my regret is that I sacrificed my childhood dream of being an independent artist filmmaker for the financial security of a legal career.

    There are always a hundred 'what if?' questions we ask ourselves. Every time we come to a fork in the road, we are forced to make 1 choice, and to forego the other roads. The older you become, the more you wonder about those other roads could have taken you - love, money, happiness?

    But, you can't live your life in the past obsessing about 'what could have been'. Whatever path you took, it taught you valuable lessons, even if they were hard lessons. You have to learn from them and keep moving forward.

    I grew up poor and I used to think the only way to rise to upper middle class was to pursue college/grad school degrees and become a lawyer, doctor or CEO. Now, I know better. I've had clients that are wealthy and happy and never stepped foot in a college. They forged their own path. Just one case in point - I know a high school drop out that got pregnant at 17. She got on youtube and talked about being an unwed teen mom. Other pregnant teens started following her. Within a few years, she was making more money than most college-grad professionals with her youtube channel. She shared her challenges and experiences as a teen mom and she gave advice to other teen moms and recommended affordable baby products. She could have spent the rest of her life regretting her 'poor life choices', but, instead, she was too busy becoming a successful youtube influencer.
    Last edited by jack0177057; 01-12-2021 at 05:48 PM.
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  7. #79
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    Default Re: Do you have any regrets

    I regret falling in love with a douchebag 9 years ago. He wasted years of my life and really hurt my self esteem which took me a long time to repair

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  9. #80
    God/dess LoveyDovey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you have any regrets

    ^^Same. I wasted my to e on douchebqgs. Focusing on healing myself and my life before I date anyone else. Then I'll attract someone who is a good guy and treat me with the respect I deserve. Time to focus on me.
    Quote Originally Posted by We had a rabbit like you View Post
    And I'm over here like "fuck you, pay me". No non sense, sorry.

  10. #81
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    Default Re: Do you have any regrets

    I kinda have a different take on it. I haven’t wasted my time on douchebags. While that may seem like a good thing, it also means I haven’t been through the “live and learn” of it, and I think it makes it difficult for me to discern if someone may actually be worthwhile. So, I just dismiss everyone. So, it could easily be possible that I may have met “the one”, but paid absolutely no mind. I think that experience to your claim makes you more cognizant of what the right qualities are, whereas I always just figure everyone is a douchebag.
    Life asked Death, “Death, why do people love me but hate you?”

    Death responded, “Because you are a beautiful lie… and I am a painful truth”

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  12. #82
    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you have any regrets

    I regret not learning about finance and investing sooner.

    Well at least I know now and can show young people the same.

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  14. #83
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    Default Re: Do you have any regrets

    I regret not stripping when I was 18 and went to college instead. I also regret trying to get fat in my mid 20s so men wouldn't look at me and stop trying to assault me.

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  16. #84
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    Default Re: Do you have any regrets

    I deeply regret this past weekend, the only thing that keeps me sane is that I am confident I was targeted and victimized, that I cannot think my way out of anything if I am chemically blocked from thinking to begin with.

    At least posting here helps for a minute or two.

  17. #85
    Senior Member Luci Fer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you have any regrets

    I regret I did not go to see The Prodigy live when I had a chance! I could afford good tickets but thought 'nah, some next time'. Then boom- Keith Flint died. I was so frustrated. Next time, oh yeah. In next life. (fuck, I am still frustrated about it) After that I take every damn chance to see my fav musicians live. And I NEVER regret it lol.

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  19. #86
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    Default Re: Do you have any regrets

    Not knowing sooner about buying name-brand products at discounted prices and selling them for a profit at different countries.

    Would have a huge inventory in my prime if I listen to a friend years ago.

  20. #87
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    Default Re: Do you have any regrets

    I think for me I'd say I regret not getting into this industry sooner. I had a better body years ago and wonder what I could've done. I still do well but can't help but get a little jealous when I see the bodies of some girls I work with. They can just eat snacks right in front of me and still not gain anything!

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  22. #88
    Senior Member mm621's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you have any regrets

    I regret spending all my early dancer money on stupid shit I didn’t need (clothes, partying, makeup, vacations), despite having the best intentions to save. Those were probably my best earning years, considering I had more freedom (and energy) to work longer hours and more days... But in my early 20s, I was making good money and was enjoying the fact that I could essentially blow $400 and think, “that’s okay, I’ll make at least that tonight.” Too much of that mindset does nothing for your future financial freedom/net worth, and now I literally have nothing to show for those early years. I’m gonna try and audition at a new club pretty soon and get back in the game, but with a serious mindset to save and invest the money (okay, buy a rental property or two and reinvest the stripping money for when I’m truly ready to give it up lol). I’ve already had my spending spree fun, and now it’s time to play catch up and make the money while I’m still relatively young. Lol

    I also regret not having stronger boundaries in my 20s.. in the club and real life. I put myself in the stupidest (and possibly dangerous) situations because of my naivety. I also let people take advantage of me/push my boundaries, because I didn’t want to hurt THEIR feelings. I’m older now, and look back on those times and shake my head.

    It is what it is tho! Can’t take back the past.. you can only learn and grow from it. ��
    Last edited by mm621; 04-15-2021 at 05:06 PM.

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