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Thread: Just started my job as an Exotic Dancer. Worried about what my family will think?

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    WWW Just started my job as an Exotic Dancer. Worried about what my family will think?

    I am new to exotic dancing. Just got my job in a gentleman’s club in the college town near where I go to school. Even though it’s a 45 minute drive from my own hometown, my Mom comes here a lot to visit me. I am worried my parents or younger brother might find out I work as an exotic dancer. Even though my brother is several years younger, he’s friends with many of the football players in this town because it’s a rival school. There is always a chance someone could find out. I’m from kind of a conservative family. My parents are the type to use derogatory words like slut or whore to talk about exotic dancers. It’s something I enjoy doing. Does anyone else have this issue?

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    Default Re: Just started my job as an Exotic Dancer. Worried about what my family will think?

    This reads a little strange to me. This is a concern for p much anyone in the industry, so yeah. We're all worried someone that we didn't want to find out will find out. If you're just doing it for fun then you need to /seriously/ consider if it's worth it for you to have that information potentially leaked. This is the kind of stuff that people lose jobs over and get kicked out of their house over. If you're doing it because you need to then hey I get it I've been there, most of us have at one point or another, just do the best you can to keep yourself safe, do not tell ANYONE details about yourself, lie. You don't go to that college you go to the other one. You're not from this town originally. Etc etc. And practice your tuck and roll for when you see someone you know lol.

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    Default Re: Just started my job as an Exotic Dancer. Worried about what my family will think?

    Another good tip....do not use shopping centers, restaurants, gyms, or move to live near your club. It sucks being recognized by both dancers and customers in public.

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    Default Re: Just started my job as an Exotic Dancer. Worried about what my family will think?

    ^^^if you don’t wear make up it helps. I don’t think anyone can recognize me without my make up
    Focus more on what you want than on what you don’t want

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    Default Re: Just started my job as an Exotic Dancer. Worried about what my family will think?

    I hate to be “that person”, and I’m not trying to be. But there’s some things that would’ve been better to consider before the fact, rather than after.

    At this point, you need to think about how to compartmentalize it. Don’t tell others about it, don’t hang around in the club when there’s no reason to be there, don’t start joining stripper groups on Facebook, etc.

    And I would suggest you come up with a plan of action for the possibility that you are found out. It may end up being that you have to assert to your parents that you’re an adult now and you’re the one at the helm of your own life. You really need to weigh and measure it. Aside from voicing their disapproval, what would their reaction be? Would they demand that you stop? If they did, would you stand your ground or fold? And answer yourself honestly on that one, because for all the people who make themselves out to be “bad bitches” who like to throw around slogans like, “only God can judge me” and whatever else, very few actually hold up under pressure.

    So, yeah, I’d say you need to have an honest conversation with yourself about this and whether or not the reward is worth the risk.
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    Default Re: Just started my job as an Exotic Dancer. Worried about what my family will think?

    Quote Originally Posted by AChildOfBoredom View Post
    I hate to be “that person”, and I’m not trying to be. But there’s some things that would’ve been better to consider before the fact, rather than after.

    At this point, you need to think about how to compartmentalize it. Don’t tell others about it, don’t hang around in the club when there’s no reason to be there, don’t start joining stripper groups on Facebook, etc.

    And I would suggest you come up with a plan of action for the possibility that you are found out. It may end up being that you have to assert to your parents that you’re an adult now and you’re the one at the helm of your own life. You really need to weigh and measure it. Aside from voicing their disapproval, what would their reaction be? Would they demand that you stop? If they did, would you stand your ground or fold? And answer yourself honestly on that one, because for all the people who make themselves out to be “bad bitches” who like to throw around slogans like, “only God can judge me” and whatever else, very few actually hold up under pressure.

    So, yeah, I’d say you need to have an honest conversation with yourself about this and whether or not the reward is worth the risk.
    @ AChildOfBoredom, your advice was the best of all. Not that everyone else who commented didn’t have good advice too, but you seemed very kind and understanding. Thank you.

    I just called my parents 20 minutes ago and told them the truth. They both were, as I predicted, disappointed but they told me they still loved me and I was shocked after our emotional intense phone call how accepting they were so quickly. They said it’s not something I should be proud of but they also stated exactly as you stated: I am an adult free to make my own choices. My Dad said he hopes I learn a valuable lesson from my experience.

    On the flip side, they both told me they loved me and want me to visit them next week for Christmas.

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    Default Re: Just started my job as an Exotic Dancer. Worried about what my family will think?

    Quote Originally Posted by indiegirl View Post
    Another good tip....do not use shopping centers, restaurants, gyms, or move to live near your club. It sucks being recognized by both dancers and customers in public.
    Really? You almost make it sound like it’s impossible to have a social life? Don’t you ever go out to eat or go to a gym to stay in shape?

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    Default Re: Just started my job as an Exotic Dancer. Worried about what my family will think?

    Quote Originally Posted by Futterwacken View Post
    This reads a little strange to me. This is a concern for p much anyone in the industry, so yeah. We're all worried someone that we didn't want to find out will find out. If you're just doing it for fun then you need to /seriously/ consider if it's worth it for you to have that information potentially leaked. This is the kind of stuff that people lose jobs over and get kicked out of their house over. If you're doing it because you need to then hey I get it I've been there, most of us have at one point or another, just do the best you can to keep yourself safe, do not tell ANYONE details about yourself, lie. You don't go to that college you go to the other one. You're not from this town originally. Etc etc. And practice your tuck and roll for when you see someone you know lol.
    Thanks for the advice. I just told my parents.

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    Default Re: Just started my job as an Exotic Dancer. Worried about what my family will think?

    Quote Originally Posted by mary-CLE123 View Post
    Really? You almost make it sound like it’s impossible to have a social life? Don’t you ever go out to eat or go to a gym to stay in shape?
    You can it's just better not near the club. From my experience most ladies/customers stay/live near that club. I worked out while the dj was playing basketball and then another girl was there along with a few customers over time. It's best not to be right down the street if you don't want club drama. One of the girls who saw me was a complete bitch and told others I looked ugly with my hair in a ponytail working out. (Bitch I'm at the gym for ME! not to be judged by a ponytail) ...It was the most high school level club of them all with them creating drama. Not all clubs are the same.

    Also, I think it is great you told your parents (not sure if they ever visit strip clubs or family does)? But it would be helpful for them to know where NOT to visit. I kinda kept it in the closet until it was found out but they didn't know where all I was working at. My dad saw a Vegas Spearmint Rhino $100 chip a longgg while back in my car and asked his sugar baby to check for my vehicle in valet and they left. Could've had my dad walk in on me topless if it weren't for that chip.
    Last edited by indiegirl; 12-17-2020 at 12:01 PM.

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    Default Re: Just started my job as an Exotic Dancer. Worried about what my family will think?

    Honestly having a car helps a lot with keeping discreet. You stash all your work gear in the trunk, & have the ability to shop and run errands far away from the club. Before I retired from the club I lived about 10 miles from the city I worked in and never saw one person I dealt with at the club- (this was a suburb of the Twin Cities in Minnesota.)

    IMO if someone isn't paying your bills or financing your future dreams, their hissyfits about other people's private lives have no relevance to you.

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    Default Re: Just started my job as an Exotic Dancer. Worried about what my family will think?

    Quote Originally Posted by indiegirl View Post
    You can it's just better not near the club. From my experience most ladies/customers stay/live near that club. I worked out while the dj was playing basketball and then another girl was there along with a few customers over time. It's best not to be right down the street if you don't want club drama. One of the girls who saw me was a complete bitch and told others I looked ugly with my hair in a ponytail working out. (Bitch I'm at the gym for ME! not to be judged by a ponytail) ...It was the most high school level club of them all with them creating drama. Not all clubs are the same.

    Also, I think it is great you told your parents (not sure if they ever visit strip clubs or family does)? But it would be helpful for them to know where NOT to visit. I kinda kept it in the closet until it was found out but they didn't know where all I was working at. My dad saw a Vegas Spearmint Rhino $100 chip a longgg while back in my car and asked his sugar baby to check for my vehicle in valet and they left. Could've had my dad walk in on me topless if it weren't for that chip.
    Thanks for the advice. My parents know the club. The club owner went to school with my Dad as kids. My Mom would never be a big fan of my Dad going into a club like that but I told my Dad he’s welcome in the club any time...my Mom too, but I highly doubt either of them are going to proudly go to a strip club and point at the stage and say: “That’s my daughter!” Haha. Either way, thanks for the advice about public places

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    Default Re: Just started my job as an Exotic Dancer. Worried about what my family will think?

    Quote Originally Posted by mary-CLE123 View Post
    @ AChildOfBoredom, your advice was the best of all. Not that everyone else who commented didn’t have good advice too, but you seemed very kind and understanding. Thank you.

    I just called my parents 20 minutes ago and told them the truth. They both were, as I predicted, disappointed but they told me they still loved me and I was shocked after our emotional intense phone call how accepting they were so quickly. They said it’s not something I should be proud of but they also stated exactly as you stated: I am an adult free to make my own choices. My Dad said he hopes I learn a valuable lesson from my experience.

    On the flip side, they both told me they loved me and want me to visit them next week for Christmas.
    Glad to hear that coming clean about it worked fir you. I’m fortunate that I live a distance away from my parents. I still keep them in the dark about a lot. I think they realize that, but know not to probe.
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    Default Re: Just started my job as an Exotic Dancer. Worried about what my family will think?

    Quote Originally Posted by mary-CLE123 View Post
    Really? You almost make it sound like it’s impossible to have a social life? Don’t you ever go out to eat or go to a gym to stay in shape?
    I'm not Indiegirl, but I would like to reply. When I started dancing, I was going to college at IUPU Indianapolis and lived in an apartment off campus. I started dancing in Indy. I lived on the south side and danced at west side clubs. The gym I frequented was on the south side, so little chance, I thought of running into a custy. Well, it happened. he was cool about it. We ended up chatting. He admitted his wife didn't know he was getting dances. And, at that point, I admitted my parents didn't know. We both agreed to keep quiet about things. It was a kind of "mutually assured destruction."

    The truth is, most custy's don't want their strip club habit to be widely known. So, it's not all that bad to run into one.

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    Default Re: Just started my job as an Exotic Dancer. Worried about what my family will think?

    Quote Originally Posted by Zofia View Post
    I'm not Indiegirl, but I would like to reply. When I started dancing, I was going to college at IUPU Indianapolis and lived in an apartment off campus. I started dancing in Indy. I lived on the south side and danced at west side clubs. The gym I frequented was on the south side, so little chance, I thought of running into a custy. Well, it happened. he was cool about it. We ended up chatting. He admitted his wife didn't know he was getting dances. And, at that point, I admitted my parents didn't know. We both agreed to keep quiet about things. It was a kind of "mutually assured destruction."

    The truth is, most custy's don't want their strip club habit to be widely known. So, it's not all that bad to run into one.
    That’s interesting. I ran into one of my father’s coworkers about a week ago under similar circumstances. It doesn’t matter either way whether he tells my Dad since my Dad already knows but it may feel weird if he tells my Dad how good of a dancer I was and how many customers tipped me and stuff. I have a feeling he’s going to keep quiet. Just like the customer you mentioned, I am not sure my Dad’s coworker would be cool with his wife knowing he went into a strip club.

    As far as telling my parents, I was extremely nervous at first, but I have a very different relationship with my Mom than anyone else I know. It isn’t typical Mother/Daughter like a lot of relationships. My Mom is my best friend and I tell her everything. And I respect my Dad. He’s so smart and it’s an honor to be his daughter. As for my brother, ok ok, so he’s annoying but what can an older sister expect from a 16 year old boy? And he’s cool too. Sometimes I want to smack him, but what big sister doesn’t want to smack their little brother?

    Anyway, I’m glad I came clean with my family.

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    Default Re: Just started my job as an Exotic Dancer. Worried about what my family will think?

    I say move out and move to the nearest city.

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