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  1. #76
    God/dess WendiStarr's Avatar
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    Default Re: Trusting Men

    Just because someone has a clean background check doesn't mean they're not a bad guy. Bad guys can pretend to be good. They can seem nice, caring, loving, be working in the medical field, seem like a good person until you move in together, get married, or God forbid get pregnant. Pregnancy is one of the most vulnerable times in a woman's life. It's also when her spouse or boyfriend is most likely to become abusive and kill her. I'm lucky my wealthy, p.o.s. medical professional ex with a clean criminal background didn't kill me, although he tried to make me miscarry by pushing me down the stairs. No criminal record because money talks and shit walks. There's this saying about put a man in a room full of women and he'll be in Heaven. Put a woman in a room full of men and she'll be terrified.

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  3. #77
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    Default Re: Trusting Men

    I agree. Even if nothing shows up in a background check, you should still be very cautious. At least if he does have a criminal record, you'll find it in a background check, but even if he comes up clean, there's no guarantee that he's not going to be abusive or have other issues.

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  5. #78
    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: Trusting Men

    My motto right here .... Khia says it all....


  6. #79
    God/dess laurielegs's Avatar
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    Default Re: Trusting Men

    Quote Originally Posted by WendiStarr View Post
    Just because someone has a clean background check doesn't mean they're not a bad guy. Bad guys can pretend to be good. They can seem nice, caring, loving, be working in the medical field, seem like a good person until you move in together, get married, or God forbid get pregnant. Pregnancy is one of the most vulnerable times in a woman's life. It's also when her spouse or boyfriend is most likely to become abusive and kill her. I'm lucky my wealthy, p.o.s. medical professional ex with a clean criminal background didn't kill me, although he tried to make me miscarry by pushing me down the stairs. No criminal record because money talks and shit walks. There's this saying about put a man in a room full of women and he'll be in Heaven. Put a woman in a room full of men and she'll be terrified.
    Really sorry to hear that happened to you Wendi. (((hugs)))
    The sad thing is, even if you've been together for years often a man will turn on you as you show signs of aging, or as you said, after you move in together or get married or get pregnant they can turn into a totally different person. I saw this way before I ever worked in the adult industry. Happens in all income levels and walks of life.

    I used to work in a hospital and witnessed many men leave their wives and girlfriends when they were diagnosed with cancer or a disabling disease. Most often the women would stay by their partner's side. Rarely did they ever abandon them. I often wonder why and think - how could they just heartlessly leave their life partner like that?

    Not only have I seen it happen to others I've had it happen to me, more than once (as I'm sure a lot of us have). I will never ever fully trust that way again and will always take steps to protect myself.

    It's horrifying to see someone you once loved and adored turn into a completely different person. Often I find it's a sign they are seeing someone else behind your back. Sometimes it's even worse when they are a professional like a doctor or respected member of society because they are nearly always believed and defended by others no matter what the evidence shows.
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    Featured Member BambiCutie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Trusting Men

    So sick of investing trust in a man, only for them to go silent or act shocked when I naturally react towards their cocky, arrogant attitude or call them out on their obvious bullshit.
    Also dislike those that randomly pause when talking or ending everything in a question, they just come off as a sarcastic asshole that like making shit awkward in an attempt to lower confidence in the other person.
    Btw I can appreciate cute, beautiful, sexy girls, but if you have to constantly tell me how cute a girl is in detail or mention your ex in every, little flashback I'm going to nut punch you to the curb.
    Aside from this, I am becoming very bitter regarding giving trust and always keep a distance between being physically or emotionally involved. I don't think I can trust another guy again after my separation is final.

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  10. #81
    Veteran Member StellaRose's Avatar
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    Default Re: Trusting Men

    Quote Originally Posted by BambiCutie View Post
    Btw I can appreciate cute, beautiful, sexy girls, but if you have to constantly tell me how cute a girl is in detail or mention your ex in every, little flashback I'm going to nut punch you to the curb.
    So this is definitely NOT relationship advice from me, but whenever a guy likes bringing up some ex I LOVE countering with a story of my own just to watch them squirm. They hate it so much, okay then why bring that type of subject up.

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    Default Re: Trusting Men

    I know ONE guy who is friends with lots of women and legitimately doesn't have an ulterior motive with any of us.
    I mean I have a lot of female friends where clearly there is no ulterior motive, because well I know me. That said the obvious explanation is that I am not attracted to them.

    I think the reason why platonic male/female relationships are rare is because the average male is not motivated to befriend women if there is no sex involved, creating new friends takes effort/resources/time, but I am pretty natural at it so I find platonic socializing fun, if anything I behave more like a gatekeeper and don't lead-on to prevent drama.

    That said if I am interested, there is no ulterior motive because I am pretty upfront on what I want.

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    Default Re: Trusting Men

    Quote Originally Posted by StellaRose View Post
    So this is definitely NOT relationship advice from me, but whenever a guy likes bringing up some ex I LOVE countering with a story of my own just to watch them squirm. They hate it so much, okay then why bring that type of subject up.
    Probably because their story is bullshit, the rules of three is a good starting point, his partner count is probably a third of what he claims, or there is a 33% chance his story is true.

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  15. #84
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    Default Re: Trusting Men

    No men can not be trusted and what some men have posted in this thread is complete bullshit.

    Men lie way more than women...https://www.news24.com/health24/ment...men-20200123-2

    Men through out history have fucked women over.. and now you have religion bullshit that still tries or in some countries force women into marriage & having numerous kids.

    Women have only been able to vote for the past 100 years. It was only in the 1960s did women were able to have a bank account and in 1974 were discrimination laws put in place for us to be able to have credit. Before that women also need permission from their husbands to even have a job & they paychecks belonged to him. Women were not able for the most part own property or wealth, it either belonged their fathers or husbands. Men through out history enacted laws to keep all the money, wealth from women. Why should we trust you now?

    When men lie, women are raped & killed. Men simply do not fear us physically harming them the same way we have to fear them. How many women lie & have more than one family?

    Majority of wealth is all owned by MEN.

    Only 8% of CEOs are women.

    95% of rapist are men

    95% of murders are men

    Majority of serial killers have domestic violence in their past

    30% of men are physically abusive to their female partners. 60% of cops are physically abusive to their female spouses. Women in the sex industry are also 60% more likely to be physically abused by their partners. So men coming here to tell us how to be better women to find a good guy is just insulting.

    50% of men are verbally abusive to their female partners

    You are more likely to be killed by your male partner during pregnancy than any other time in your life span.

    Men get paid more & higher raises than women. When women work 20% more hours than men do at the same job. And women do ask for raises just as much as men do, but are turned down for them more.

    Less than 7% of world leaders are women.

    95% of police are men.

    100% of women deal with sexual harassment.

    Marriage is way better for improving men's lives & horrible for women.https://www.news24.com/health24/ment...men-20200123-2 So men need to stop acting like they are some prize, cause you are not. Even if you are tall dark and handsome and make $100,ooo to $250,000 a year, the poor women who marries him will suffer and it will be bad for over all general health.

    Women are NOT JADED!!! it is called wisdom. The male population has done nothing to earn our trust.

    The happiest group of women is over 50, no kids & single.
    Video blogs on Camming industry & how to succeed at camming.

    Personality is the glitter that sends your little gleam across the footlights and the orchestra pit into that big black space where the audience is. Mae West

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  17. #85
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    Default Re: Trusting Men

    Interesting thread. Personally, I felt it was an waste of time to put trust and faith into men. Even as an little girl; I was taught not to put trust into those who didn't care helping me grow. Plus my own family history taught me it would foolish to put faith into men just because they spoke politely or dress nicely.Men aren't gods and I don't put them on the pedestal. Plus, I don't let them rule over my life. Indifference allow me to only put trust into those who will walk across the fire for me. Most men will not and I accept this.
    Plus, there's literal billions of them...so why put trust into one who you won't remember in your old age? I know that I don't. I am not going to remember those who couldn't help me as human being.Why give men such power over your psyche? Most of them will never be worth your time nor energy. I don't put one ounce of faith, trust, or even positive energy into beings who can't reach their potential. This is true of most men. Plus, 90 percent of them are poor and can't help you in your time of need anyways. Just my two cents.
    Last edited by DonaDiabla; 08-29-2021 at 03:56 PM.
    Wolves may lurk in every guise / Now as then, 'tis simple truth / Sweetest tongue has sharpest tooth.

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  19. #86
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    Default Re: Trusting Men

    One thing I will never understand is when Women defend violent men. One time someone followed me home while I was walking my dog then pulled his car sideways to block me between his car and my door and kept saying " I have been watching you walk all the time " He then started walking towards me with something in his hand I screamed Baby Come outside (to my fake "guy"). I immediately called a neighbor friend terrified and she said this "Well that's because you are so pretty" also not the first time something like that happened.

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    Default Re: Trusting Men

    Quote Originally Posted by Violethollywood View Post
    I think a lot of men initially are okay with their gf or wife being a dancer/ camgirl but then their own insecurities creep in and they will start picking fights over your line of work. You could be the most loyal woman ever and they won't believe that you just do this line of work for money . They'll think you're cheating on them. I've dealt with it myself . It's annoying as hell
    Male ego at work. They want to believe that women are just sex driven as them. That’s where slut shaming stems from. They’re not even mad that sexwork is profitable for us. They’re just mad they can’t profit off of it as easily as we do

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  23. #88
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    Quote Originally Posted by IGMO View Post
    Male ego at work. They want to believe that women are just sex driven as them. That’s where slut shaming stems from. They’re not even mad that sexwork is profitable for us. They’re just mad they can’t profit off of it as easily as we do
    I mean I would not call it easy work, lol. Just from observation it is easily more hard work than my current job.

    I don't think I have ever been insecure, don't know if I am weird but I can legit only remember only once being jealous in my life and that was when I was a dumb kid. Maybe I just learned early to nip negative emotions in the bud. So much so that I have to FAKE being jealous, they beam up they reaallly like jealousy as long as it is not accompanied with threats, demands, endless fights etc.

  24. #89
    Featured Member Luci Fer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DeathAndTaxes View Post
    I mean I would not call it easy work, lol. Just from observation it is easily more hard work than my current job.

    I don't think I have ever been insecure, don't know if I am weird but I can legit only remember only once being jealous in my life and that was when I was a dumb kid. Maybe I just learned early to nip negative emotions in the bud. So much so that I have to FAKE being jealous, they beam up they reaallly like jealousy as long as it is not accompanied with threats, demands, endless fights etc.
    As a part of a play jealousy can be fun! There are just some stupidly maniacally serious bastards who get jealous and ruin the shit, sometimes with really dramatic consequences.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Luci Fer View Post
    As a part of a play jealousy can be fun! There are just some stupidly maniacally serious bastards who get jealous and ruin the shit, sometimes with really dramatic consequences.
    Oh trust me I know, it is kinda sad that my ideal relationship is one with zero drama with deep conversation, but might as well poison the relationship. I supply some really good fake jealousy, and there is always something exciting going on, drama might as well be catnip.

  26. #91
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    Quote Originally Posted by DeathAndTaxes View Post
    Oh trust me I know, it is kinda sad that my ideal relationship is one with zero drama with deep conversation, but might as well poison the relationship. I supply some really good fake jealousy, and there is always something exciting going on, drama might as well be catnip.
    Yeah, you gotta keep it not too cold to freeze it and not too hot to burn it

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    Default Re: Trusting Men

    But it is almost always towards the upper bound. Edging is key, edging her to the limit, and pulling back only to ramp it up again, it legitimately feels like a fight, and then it feels like a make-up without it really having the negative repercussions, because the jealousy was completely fake, why would I be insecure?

    I remember agreeing with Charlie how excitement and legitimate danger don't really have to go hand in hand, you can create excitement out of anything, even manufactured drama.

  28. #93
    Veteran Member Likethis's Avatar
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    ^Sounds very unhealthy and pretty manipulative to manufacture drama just to keep a relationship "fun". It is kind of ironic though that in a thread about trusting men a man comes in to share how he regularly fools his partner. You're not helping lol

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  30. #94
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    Quote Originally Posted by Likethis View Post
    ^Sounds very unhealthy and pretty manipulative to manufacture drama just to keep a relationship "fun". It is kind of ironic though that in a thread about trusting men a man comes in to share how he regularly fools his partner. You're not helping lol
    why not if his woman is acknowledging the game? I think it feels different way when it is unhealthy. It is constant fatigue and disappointment when it's unhealthy, without proper sex, with passive-aggressive remarks all day long.
    What's wrong with good passionate fight and makeup? Some couples just have such temper. And it is about trust. If she trusts him, and he trusts her, they can play the games that might seem 'unhealthy' to others.

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    Veteran Member Likethis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Luci Fer View Post
    why not if his woman is acknowledging the game? I think it feels different way when it is unhealthy. It is constant fatigue and disappointment when it's unhealthy, without proper sex, with passive-aggressive remarks all day long.
    What's wrong with good passionate fight and makeup? Some couples just have such temper. And it is about trust. If she trusts him, and he trusts her, they can play the games that might seem 'unhealthy' to others.
    If it's a play that both are completely aware of is fake then sure, why not, I interpreted it as something else but if they're both the exact same way I don't see the problem. Then it just seems a bit exhausting or unnecessary at worst rather than unhealthy.

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    I am fairly certain that I don't have an identical twin brother (or a brother for that matter) so it is automatically assumed it is is all playful nonsense in the end. Winking also helps put the message across

    Trust is about more than just words, it is a legitimate psychological and emotional foundation. I mean do any of you get mad at the fact that your favorite movie actor is not really the character they play as? Is that a breach of trust?
    Last edited by DeathAndTaxes; 10-04-2021 at 01:50 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DeathAndTaxes View Post
    Trust is about more than just words, it is a legitimate psychological and emotional foundation. I mean do any of you get mad at the fact that your favorite movie actor is not really the character they play as? Is that a breach of trust?
    When an actor is playing a character, it's well documented that the actor is portraying someone else on the screen. I do get mad when a celebrity portrays himself one way in public, but is a completely different person in private. See Bill Cosby.

  34. #98
    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IGMO View Post
    Male ego at work. They want to believe that women are just sex driven as them. That’s where slut shaming stems from. They’re not even mad that sexwork is profitable for us. They’re just mad they can’t profit off of it as easily as we do
    Exactly cause if men could sell dick (if selling dick was profitable) their asses would do it in a heartbeat.

    Men would have a brothel on every corner, prostitution would be legal in all states, and there would be free abortions in every cvs n Walgreens.

    Men are the biggest hypocrites and only agree to things when it benefits them financially or sexually.

    So trusting men? = Hard no to 82% of men

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  36. #99
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    Exactly cause if men could sell dick (if selling dick was profitable) their asses would do it in a heartbeat.
    Haha, I am pretty sure this is a demand side problem!

    Thinking about it a bit more, how would one even advertise such services? dimensions, lasting power, curvature, it does not help that dick pics are considered sexual harassment. It's like buying magic beans lol.

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