We’ll long story short I went out with my friends last night. Had about seven people back gossip got around about this girl and what I have been doing. One are two are good friends and most knew me but all but made fun of my stupidity pretty hard. We have been talking lately about how absolutely retarded all of this is.
Pretty much need to just cut all of this out of my life. It’s a very bad look for the normal girls in the social circle I am in and it’s devolved into judgemental prodding and lecturing twice now when people come back from the club to party.
It took 7 people I know one of which is my close friend bashing the situation harshly and subsequent talking after to snap out of it. It’s not good to be associated with any of this. Basically the real world version of this thread took place on people piling on. Honestly it’s a favor everyone did this..
Not even going to get into all of the stuff some of you said. Most of it is pretty valid. Societally speaking it wasn’t ok and from a spiritual perspective it was self destructive and honestly I remember a time when I was a better person and none of this is it..
She seems to want to keep going out occasionally fuck and get paid for it and discuss me buying her out of the lifestyle. It’s time to quit while I’m ahead. I told her I want to be friends we can still hangout and that I care about her and if she wants to explore that we can. She acted happy about it but I think it’s best we go our own ways. Sometimes it’s just easier to be cool about it and I have a feeling both of us agree. This is all textbook retarded stuff.. I got out of a logical and ethical frame of mind and I am going to focus on avoiding all of this. My friends are all very liberal hard partying people but even they are getting on my case now.
Also on a final note to the post above me.. yeah this was self induced and projecting my problems wasn’t good on the girl. All of it looks very emotionally weak on my part no matter what happens next. I need to focus on my friendships my life my work and just hit the reset button. None of this was good. She’s a good person and I respect what she’s doing but someone said above it’s time to focus on getting my shit together and if I want to down the road work on a healthy normal relationship. She just wants to make money and anything I bring to the table will just complicate things (which had to stop) or annoy her. I stand by thinking she’s a good person. She never did anything against me. I fucked it up getting emotional and it wasn’t normal sane or productive.
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