Starting To Date An Extras Dancer After Being A Client No Idea How To Handle Things

[mellowmutt]

We have been going on a lot of dates lately off the clock and I phased sex out. It felt traumatic for me because it was as we all can agree toxic..

So, you friend-zoned her...

What threw me off was that when she got here after multiple off the clock dates she said “you mentioned you had water I thought you were going to just throw a ton of cash at me. So I decided to come thank you.”

...after she assumed you were her Sugar Daddy?

She mentioned I should keep it here for when a girl stays over. It was almost like she was hinting she wanted to spend the night.

I'm not a girl, but in my experience, you're reading something into it that she isn't writing. Sounds like the hint was "see other gals." Tip: if a gal comes over to hang out, and leaves a t-shirt or earrings or whatever, don't take them back to her! She left them to have an excuse to come over again. *That's* a hint she wants to spend the night.

After two hours and sex was up she wanted to call a cab and insisted I don’t call a Mercedes (it’s only 4 dollars more here)

Discretion is the better part of valor. If she usually arrives home in a regular cab, the neighbors won't think anything of her coming home in a regular cab. Send her home in a Mercedes, regardless of how inconsequential the price difference is to you, it'll be noticed and then the gossip happens.

I didn’t know so I figured I’d apply the final test and she said “so you aren’t going to pay me?” I went and got the money and the text chain I shared above ensued.

Because she thinks you're her Sugar Daddy. Own it, and stop confusing her with the friend-zone and gf bs.

The real cost was the emotional baggage.

Dude, you're creating your own drama. No gal wants to carry your emo baggage like that, regardless of her occupation.

I think it’s time to listen to all of my close friends and the people here and quit dating getting close to and having sex with dancers and escorts here.

That's taking it too far, IMHO. Don't freeze a gal out for being a sex worker, but don't expect her to warm up to you if that's the context of how you met.

This was healthy in a way.

You say this, and back it up with a story that sounds totally *not* healthy? I hate the word "woke" but you may achieve that status once you stop projecting your problems onto the gals you're confusing. Or go total misogynist. There is a happy medium -- Sugar Daddying. Lay out all those financial, sexual, and emotional expectations from the start and nobody's gonna be confused about friend, lover, potential life partner, or whatnot.

We’ll see where this goes. We were planning on sitting front row for Swan Lake on Tuesday in bed twenty minutes before reality hit.. I just know there’s no perfect way for me to handle this because it’s not a perfect situation. I also know better than to try to buy a girl out of the life..

So much wrong with that, I don't know where to start. Agree on having an imperfect situation, see where *that* goes. Maybe I couldn't have "bought" my gal out of the life without Covid, but after 16 months we're officially an "item" and I loved it when she spent some of her modeling income to invite *me* out for a 3-day ski date and paid for it all. Apparently she doesn't just see me as her Sugar Daddy, but it took quite a bit of work to get there together, from an improbable beginning.

[Target]

We’ll long story short I went out with my friends last night. Had about seven people back gossip got around about this girl and what I have been doing. One are two are good friends and most knew me but all but made fun of my stupidity pretty hard. We have been talking lately about how absolutely retarded all of this is.

Pretty much need to just cut all of this out of my life. It’s a very bad look for the normal girls in the social circle I am in and it’s devolved into judgemental prodding and lecturing twice now when people come back from the club to party.

It took 7 people I know one of which is my close friend bashing the situation harshly and subsequent talking after to snap out of it. It’s not good to be associated with any of this. Basically the real world version of this thread took place on people piling on. Honestly it’s a favor everyone did this..

Not even going to get into all of the stuff some of you said. Most of it is pretty valid. Societally speaking it wasn’t ok and from a spiritual perspective it was self destructive and honestly I remember a time when I was a better person and none of this is it..

She seems to want to keep going out occasionally fuck and get paid for it and discuss me buying her out of the lifestyle. It’s time to quit while I’m ahead. I told her I want to be friends we can still hangout and that I care about her and if she wants to explore that we can. She acted happy about it but I think it’s best we go our own ways. Sometimes it’s just easier to be cool about it and I have a feeling both of us agree. This is all textbook retarded stuff.. I got out of a logical and ethical frame of mind and I am going to focus on avoiding all of this. My friends are all very liberal hard partying people but even they are getting on my case now.

Also on a final note to the post above me.. yeah this was self induced and projecting my problems wasn’t good on the girl. All of it looks very emotionally weak on my part no matter what happens next. I need to focus on my friendships my life my work and just hit the reset button. None of this was good. She’s a good person and I respect what she’s doing but someone said above it’s time to focus on getting my shit together and if I want to down the road work on a healthy normal relationship. She just wants to make money and anything I bring to the table will just complicate things (which had to stop) or annoy her. I stand by thinking she’s a good person. She never did anything against me. I fucked it up getting emotional and it wasn’t normal sane or productive.

[Raziel]

Are you dating her? How do you know she's dating you. You have to be dating each other or it's probably not true.

How on earth do you know she's an extras girl? Did she tell you? That is something I've never heard of.

Personally, I wouldn't touch her. How do you know she's using rubbers? Wind up with some kind of Egyptian Crotch Rot that way.

[lurkingtitties]

Personally, I wouldn't touch her. How do you know she's using rubbers? Wind up with some kind of Egyptian Crotch Rot that way.

Well that was a tactless thing to say on a sex worker forum...

[charlie61]

Are you dating her? How do you know she's dating you. You have to be dating each other or it's probably not true.

How on earth do you know she's an extras girl? Did she tell you? That is something I've never heard of.

Personally, I wouldn't touch her. How do you know she's using rubbers? Wind up with some kind of Egyptian Crotch Rot that way.

What makes you think that the OP is any less likely to have "Egyptian Crotch Rot," as you put it? Really tactless post, Raziel.

[charlie61]

I don't think the thread needs to be closed, i think people just need to check their privilege and think for a moment before posting.

[Selina M]

How do escorts or extras girls know their customers don’t have “Egyptian Crotch Rot”? If a guy is paying for sex he’s most likely hopping from provider to provider.

Why does the accusation of disease only ever get flung at the girl? Oh yeah, misogyny. Fuck outta here (a SEX WORKER FORUM) with that nonsense.

[lurkingtitties]

Plus men are MUCH more likely to pass an STD to a woman unknowingly, due to biological differences in our reproductive systems. I learned that in friggin 9th grade yo...

[indiegirl]

Hahaha why does Raziels post remind me of the man who claimed I gave him chlamydia (everything was covered obviously)...and I immediately went to the clinic and it came back negative. He still thought it was me afterwards despite the test results I sent him LOL.

Him: You know you can give it to someone through oral sex
Me: Well I clearly don't have it. This is all on you!"

He continued to blame me regardless. hahaha. He has a bunch of girls he has seen over the months. HMMMMM...for a moment let's think...maybe you were being fucking dirty in bed with other girls? I was the one working not gambling my life away like you in bed.

*Sigh* some people. Raziel, it's time to chill it out.