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Thread: What should I do?

  1. #1
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    Default What should I do?

    First off donít bully me too bad over this because I already feel weird. Also this is probably long for no reason.


    Just some quick background info Iím a pretty new club goer like I went for the first time ever 2 months ago and now I have been back to the same one so many times since, I enjoy it and like all the girls are awesome. I also feel itís important to say Iím a female definitely bi but am jus now started to be comfortable truly being me which is another reason I like going to the strip club because itís one of the first places Iíve been where I feel accepted as I am.


    Anyway last night I go in and end up talking to a dancer I had talked to once before and got like 1 dance from but we didnít have that long of a convo the first time but this time was different she remembered me from the time before and we talked about a lot of things it was awesome. I found out she actually preferred women over men which made me even more comfortable with her and I ended up buying like 8 dances from her throughout the night when normally I like variety. At one point before she had to go on stage I told her I would try to wait and she said she would rather just go with me now and not go on stage so she did that and even talked a lot during the dance which normally Iím not into . Long story short by the time we had our last dance I was kind of drunk and asked her to kiss me which embarrassing after the fact. Even though Iím attracted to women I havenít had the opportunity to experience that because I have always been with guys and currently am with one and I told her I just wanted to get my first woman on woman kiss out the way with someone that I was at least attracted to. I donít feel like I was being creepy pushy but kind of persistent like saying things like she would definitely cure my depression if she did and other dumb things that had her laughing but in a cute way not awkward. Anyway it ends up happening like twice during our last dance and all was cool until I woke up I guess. The moment I had been waiting for since forever basically happened because I paid for it.. even though she said I was just paying for a dance and she was choosing to do what she wanted during it so that made me feel better about that part. I know itís just a kiss and this will probably seem dumb to most reading but maybe someone will feel me. Also even though she did it I just feel weird that I asked in the first place and put her in a weird position, I wonder if sheís going to be like oh no next time I come in and avoid me. She said sheís not attracted to a lot of the guys that come in and she has anxiety so I donít see her just randomly kissing customers all night. I know I need to forget it happened but do I assume she will too even though I only ever see her drink water so she was definitely sober or should I apologize for even asking her to do that. Possibly gets worse that I also asked her to lunch at the end and she said she didnít want to lead me on and said she was in a relationship and it was monogamous. I think that was more embarrassing than the kiss thing but also didnít someone say you miss 100% of shots you donít take so Iím surprised at myself for even doing any of that because I never put myself out there even though it was probably not the best environment to do so. So yeah should I say sorry about that next time I see her or just act like it never happened.

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    Default Re: What should I do?

    I'll leave it to the dancers on this board to opine as to whether you pushed too hard and/or owe her an apology. I have my own opinions on the matter, but IMHO another customer is not the best person to address a question like this on stripperweb.

    I will say though, from one customer to another, that strip clubs are not a healthy place to explore your sexuality or to look for a date. Dancers are paid to entertain you, which makes the dynamic transactional in nature. IMHO now that you are exploring that part of yourself, you might want to find like minded partners who can share in the experience with you in a meaningful way. The ideal at this stage of your journey is to have a partner who is with you simply because she wants to be, which allows you to let your guard down and enjoy the emotional aspects of these experiences.

    In any event, good luck!

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    Default Re: What should I do?

    I agree with everything you said and that’s why I’m feeling so bad about it today. Also the fact it wasn’t the safest idea and I don’t go there to look for dates I really just got caught up in the vibes from talking to her I’ve talked to other dancers there but nothing like that. Also the drinking didn’t help my decision even though that’s a played out excuse. The only thing that makes me feel less weird is she was the one that suggested I put my hat back on to block it from the cameras when she could have said no and I would have been completely fine with that.

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    Default Re: What should I do?

    Did she ever say she didn’t want to kiss or act hesitant to kiss you?

    If she approaches you next time you go, you probably should just say “Sorry I was too forward the last time, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” and go from there. Don’t over explain yourself, especially if you aren’t paying her. It comes off as weird. If she doesn’t approach you, then you know she’s uncomfortable and don’t press it. That will be way too forceful.

    Also, don’t take it all so seriously. Just because she told you she was shy and didn’t like most guys, doesn’t make it true.
    ďDonít bunt. Aim out of the ball park. Aim for the company of immortals.Ē
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    Default Re: What should I do?

    Quote Originally Posted by naomi_doll View Post
    Did she ever say she didn’t want to kiss or act hesitant to kiss you?

    If she approaches you next time you go, you probably should just say “Sorry I was too forward the last time, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” and go from there. Don’t over explain yourself, especially if you aren’t paying her. It comes off as weird. If she doesn’t approach you, then you know she’s uncomfortable and don’t press it. That will be way too forceful.

    Also, don’t take it all so seriously. Just because she told you she was shy and didn’t like most guys, doesn’t make it true.
    You’re right I shouldn’t take it seriously at all that’s why I’m disappointed in myself for getting to the point where I even asked. She never said no or I would have immediately shut up about it. And instead of persistent I guess I just meant convincing the only hesitation was because she said there was cameras but then she said how we could get around it so we did.

    It’s not like when it happened I felt butterflies it just felt natural and I appreciate that but thankfully I don’t see myself catching feelings or something weird. I’m already thinking about the next dancer I want to get dances with. I was really just overthinking and now I want to delete this whole thing but I can’t figure out how.

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    Default Re: What should I do?

    It’s ok, maybe it will be helpful for someone else. It seems like you feel better about it now which is great.
    ďDonít bunt. Aim out of the ball park. Aim for the company of immortals.Ē
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    Default Re: What should I do?

    You probably shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Dancers are professionals, but many of them become very good at setting boundaries. I'm going to go out on a limb, so please forgive my arrogance, and say that to me it sounds like you need a good friend. Did you have one perhaps, and then you lost her for some reason?
    Where Am I? Missing NYC

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    Default Re: What should I do?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bahuba View Post
    You probably shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Dancers are professionals, but many of them become very good at setting boundaries. I'm going to go out on a limb, so please forgive my arrogance, and say that to me it sounds like you need a good friend. Did you have one perhaps, and then you lost her for some reason?
    Part of me is not sure what you mean and the other part is wondering if you are psychic.

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    Default Re: What should I do?

    No stripper will kiss a customer unless she really wants to. If they don't want to be kissed and you kiss them, most strippers would end your time together.

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    Default Re: What should I do?

    I definitely was overthinking the situation, went back like a week later and everything was beyond cool with her. She came and sat with me as soon as she saw me and I let her know I felt kind of shitty for asking her to do that and she let me know she wasn’t uncomfortable or anything. She also said I was one of 2 customers in her years of dancing that she has actually been turned on dancing for. Sure that could be complete bullshit but I don’t care, it helped any regrets go away.

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    Default Re: What should I do?

    ^^Then you found an expert dancer who knows how to help you chase the blues away for a few hours. When your financial plan allows, go back and enjoy her company.
    Where Am I? Missing NYC

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