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Thread: Age stress

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    Default Age stress

    Iím having a moment of insecurity about age. Iím currently 27 and feel like with proper care and surgery I can continue working until Iím 40 but I am constantly getting the ďshelf lifeĒ talk from friends and family and itís starting to take a toll. I work with women in their mid to late 30s who are very successful.. but fuck sometimes it gets to me. Thought?

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    Veteran Member StellaRose's Avatar
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    Default Re: Age stress

    I’m 27 as well. xD People like to drill about the “shelf life” to emphasize how dumb you are for dancing. As long as you’re able to work the way you want to work and make enough you can be satisfied with, that is way more important feedback than some well-meaning but ignorant comments from outsiders.

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    Default Re: Age stress

    I didn't start dancing u till I was 31 and quit when I was 46 so there's that. You do you and don't tell everyone about your plans.
    Quote Originally Posted by We had a rabbit like you View Post
    And I'm over here like "fuck you, pay me". No non sense, sorry.


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    Default Re: Age stress

    Honestly, I am not sure why people feel the need to say things like "Looks don't last forever", "How long do you intend to keep this up and what will you do when you no longer have your looks?" Bitch my Great Grandmother had a full head of hair with color when she was nearing 85 years old! I plan to keep going till my back throws out and my pussy can't take no more dick. I take care of my body and my mental health, eat healthy, workout and do the things I should to ensure my looks follow and age gracefully with time.

    Have no doubt I will look like a saggy tit one day, but that doesn't mean my body will suddenly stop desiring sex or the motivation to keep aspiring. There is an unhealthy view on age and many often believe that once you hit 40 years old your looks no longer matter, which is not true in the least, as I have heard many woman state they look better in their 40's than they did in their 20's and 30's. I think it more depends on how you take care of your body internally and being physically active, hell there are woman in their 60's who have incredible bodies and energy.

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    Default Re: Age stress

    LOL....not at you. I’m just laughing at how ridiculous that is for people to be telling you at 27 you’re too old or about to expire...LOL! That’s such bullshit.

    It’s not easy being a mature model. I’m 35 and I’m still able to take care of myself with sex work. Albeit I’m transitioning to a new career. People are soooooo shitty to aging women. Honestly you have to learn to say fuck off and mind your own business. It’s just their societal conditioning- don’t internalize that BS. Society is absolutely cruel to women and it does not get any easier. You’ll be pressured to “grow up”. Let me tell you a secret, that’s a lie. People that do what society says are miserable and they are jealous of people that have the courage to live life on their own terms, so they will tear you down. Loved ones I think do it more out of fear-a projection of their own insecurities-rather than to make you feel bad. Parents will be “concerned.” You have to learn to say, “screw everyone.”

    Although you do need invest your money so you are not stuck doing survival sex work as you age. Not necessarily a good idea to plan on doing this until 40, but it can be done. You really don’t need a lot of plastic surgery-Botox and fillers will work until 40. Just take care of yourself.

    Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies. I went back in the closet, and if people ask I tell them I do something else for work. It just got to be to the point where my mom was being passive aggressive and trying to control my life. I tell everyone I have a vanilla job. Unless you live in a progressive area with progressive friends and family, it’s best to have a cover if you don’t want to constantly being dealing with micro aggressions from family, friends, and even complete strangers.
    Last edited by moneybags; 05-03-2021 at 11:31 AM.
    Focus more on what you want than on what you donít want

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    Default Re: Age stress

    I feel the same way too sometimes and then I look at my "aging role models" (J Lo, Kourtney Kardashian, Dita Von Teese, Sofia Vergara, Kate Beckinsale, Salma Hayek, etc) and I feel better. If you take care of yourself emotionally, mentally, and physically, there's no reason to fear getting older. You can maintain your looks for many years. It's generally your habits that will ensure you age gracefully. Eating healthy, drinking tons of water, using moisturizer and sunscreen, avoiding cigarettes and alcohol, keep your stress levels as low as possible. Then of course, Botox, lasers, chemical peels, and plastic surgery are helpful. I also think your energy and outlook on life are important. Staying enthusiastic about life, positivity and keeping yourself open to new ideas and experiences will help you stay youthful.

    I don't often talk to people about my work, unless they're involved in similar work, because I'm not open to other people's shitty opinions and snide remarks. I don't want to hear it. It's not relevant or true, so it's worthless input. I would start preparing other avenues in life and making a good financial exit plan, because this is a hard job to do for decades. But, I really wouldn't worry about a shelf life, especially not at 27.

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    Default Re: Age stress

    You've got like 15-16 years or more left no joke. Probably more time than you would even want to stay ! Lol. People can be dicks .

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    Default Re: Age stress

    27 is nothing to stress about. I wouldn't pay any attention to them.
    Quote Originally Posted by We had a rabbit like you View Post
    And I'm over here like "fuck you, pay me". No non sense, sorry.

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    Default Re: Age stress

    The fact that the shelf life comments come from friends and family and not people you actually work with/industry people says a lot. Uninformed opinions. Your friends and family are not strippers and if they were they would know that many, many top earners are 30+.

    I think it's probably based on the stigma too. At 20 people can tell themselves she's doing it momentarily as a fun and wild phase, or to pay for school etc, she has a bright future (meaning outside the club) ahead of her and so on. The older you get the more of a permanent choice or distinctive life path it seems to be to people and that comes across as unacceptable in a society where it's a taboo. And sure there will probably be an age where you just can't do it anymore, but at 27 you're nowhere near it objectively speaking.

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    Default Re: Age stress

    ^^^yeah my mom was okay with it until I hit 30. Then she was super toxic with her calling me a failure blah, blah, blah. It’s tolerable when you’re young because people are hoping it’s a phase and you’ll get married and have kids. When they see it’s a career they freak out!

    Lastly, I feel women’s decisions are always questioned. Are choices are valid and we shouldn’t feel the need to defend, argue, or explain ourselves. Out life choices are OUR life choices and I wish people would respect our decisions.
    Last edited by moneybags; 05-04-2021 at 10:24 AM.
    Focus more on what you want than on what you donít want

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    Default Re: Age stress

    Shelf life thing is all a lie. And you are worried over nothing, older women bank. Plus after 35 predators who are lying & trying to get over on you starts to greatly reduce. Anyone who tells you that shit is a predator trying to get you not to see how cheap they are & conning you. Laugh at such losers & move forward with your life & hustle.
    Video blogs on Camming industry & how to succeed at camming.

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    Default Re: Age stress

    Quote Originally Posted by moneybags View Post
    ^^^yeah my mom was okay with it until I hit 30. Then she was super toxic with her calling me a failure blah, blah, blah. It’s tolerable when you’re young because people are hoping it’s a phase and you’ll get married and have kids. When they see it’s a career they freak out!

    Lastly, I feel women’s decisions are always questioned. Are choices are valid and we shouldn’t feel the need to defend, argue, or explain ourselves. Out life choices are OUR life choices and I wish people would respect our decisions.
    Amen to that! !
    Quote Originally Posted by We had a rabbit like you View Post
    And I'm over here like "fuck you, pay me". No non sense, sorry.

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    Default Re: Age stress

    Quote Originally Posted by Sam38g View Post
    Plus after 35 predators who are lying & trying to get over on you starts to greatly reduce.
    That’s the best part of being a mature woman. No one can fuck with me

    Can we get a positive affirmations thread going? Seriously. That’s what society does to keep women in their place- tear women down!
    Focus more on what you want than on what you donít want

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    Default Re: Age stress

    I remember 27 was the age when i started getting these weird 'reassuring' comments from customers in the club when i told them my age. Even though I'd say "27" confidently and without a hint of insecurity, they would react super oddly to the number, like telling me that i still look young, etc. Wtf? 27 is still like a baby. I'm 32 now and feel like I've never looked better, both my face and body. I think society just doesn't really know what a healthy 25+ year old woman looks like.

    That said, as others have mentioned, it's super important to take great care of yourself if you're planning a long career in sex work. I won't go over all of the things you can do to boost your appearance, as we have plenty of threads on that!

    I would bet that their reaction has more to do with their surprise and dismay that sex work isn't just a phase for you - they probably thought you'd quit by 25, and in their heads, it's scary / concerning to hear that you have your eye set on making this a longer-term career. So they comment on your age as a passive aggressive way of saying what really concerns them, which is that you're committing to a career path that they see as risky, dangerous, or whatever unconscious / conscious bias they're holding onto.

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    Default Re: Age stress

    Like the title of that late singer Aaliyah's debut album, "Age Ain't Nothing But a Number."

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    Default Re: Age stress

    Iím 34 and left during the pandemic. Iím nervous about going back because I feel like Iím too old now. I hate feeling that way now because I enjoyed dancing but I donít wanna be the ďold girl at the clubĒ. I get it...

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    Default Re: Age stress

    ^^^You will hear people talking shit from time to time (especially if you are making money), but you just have to remember it’s their social conditioning. Most people in life don’t question what they have downloaded in their subconscious by their family, friends, and societal systems. They’ll project their own stuff on to you. People’s opinions are just projections and you don’t have to buy in to people’s belief systems- most of it is bullshit. You have to have psychological boundaries to keep the negativity out because it can really mess with you. As long as you look attractive that all that matters. Sure some guys want younger models, but some guy appreciate classic.
    Focus more on what you want than on what you donít want

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    Default Re: Age stress

    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    I remember 27 was the age when i started getting these weird 'reassuring' comments from customers in the club when i told them my age. Even though I'd say "27" confidently and without a hint of insecurity, they would react super oddly to the number, like telling me that i still look young, etc. Wtf? 27 is still like a baby. I'm 32 now and feel like I've never looked better, both my face and body. I think society just doesn't really know what a healthy 25+ year old woman looks like.

    That said, as others have mentioned, it's super important to take great care of yourself if you're planning a long career in sex work. I won't go over all of the things you can do to boost your appearance, as we have plenty of threads on that!

    I would bet that their reaction has more to do with their surprise and dismay that sex work isn't just a phase for you - they probably thought you'd quit by 25, and in their heads, it's scary / concerning to hear that you have your eye set on making this a longer-term career. So they comment on your age as a passive aggressive way of saying what really concerns them, which is that you're committing to a career path that they see as risky, dangerous, or whatever unconscious / conscious bias they're holding onto.
    Best to lie.

    I act embarrassed and give them a year older like 26....No I turn 32 in 2 weeks lol. I actually lost a return customer recently because I told him my true age when he was so into me beforehand thinking I was 25. The only people that know are the men who stick around for YEARS lol. I typically changed my age around over the years because I've passed as 19, 20, whatever by people and don't try to push it too far.
    Last edited by indiegirl; 05-09-2021 at 12:53 AM.

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    Default Re: Age stress

    Quote Originally Posted by pinkvelvetxo View Post
    I’m 34 and left during the pandemic. I’m nervous about going back because I feel like I’m too old now. I hate feeling that way now because I enjoyed dancing but I don’t wanna be the “old girl at the club”. I get it...

    There were several women 50+ at my club, but still, I quit when I was 46. It's just that I have other things to do in life and after 15 years I was bored of it all. Some guys like older gals though. I'm 47 and my boyfriend is 34. He calls himself old but tells me I'm the young one lol!
    Quote Originally Posted by We had a rabbit like you View Post
    And I'm over here like "fuck you, pay me". No non sense, sorry.

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    Default Re: Age stress

    I live my life for myself, not to lurk in someone else’s shadow. And if want someone’s advice, then I’ll ask for it. Don’t understand why this concept is so difficult for some to grasp.
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    Default Re: Age stress

    When I had to quit stripping because of Covid and decided to start camming instead of getting a "real job" I got the talk from my sister about how I can't do this kind of work forever and guys "aren't supposed to like someone my age", "it's okay for someone in their 20s, but..." etc. etc. How would she know? How would any of them know? We are the experts. We are the ones doing the work. I know how old the top earners in my old club are. Some of them are in their mid 40s and look great. Not great for their age, just great. Period. There's so much nonsense spread around about female aging, but if you don't buy into the hype then it doesn't effect you. Seriously.

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    Default Re: Age stress

    Quote Originally Posted by Emanuelle View Post
    When I had to quit stripping because of Covid and decided to start camming instead of getting a "real job" I got the talk from my sister about how I can't do this kind of work forever and guys "aren't supposed to like someone my age", "it's okay for someone in their 20s, but..." etc. etc. How would she know? How would any of them know? We are the experts. We are the ones doing the work. I know how old the top earners in my old club are. Some of them are in their mid 40s and look great. Not great for their age, just great. Period. There's so much nonsense spread around about female aging, but if you don't buy into the hype then it doesn't effect you. Seriously.
    I remember this 43 yr old dancer wanted to help me out because we were talking in the dressing room and I was frustrated I wasn't making money (before I left dancing) and she did doubles with me all that day. I was fucking embarrassed after seeing the 100-200 tips she was asking for (simply just shaking her boobs in the customers face) when I would do far more for men in the club and get less. I reached the point where everything I learned from the Strip and Grow Rich program went outta my head to just doing whatever I thought would make me money lol. It's totally not about age whatsoever.

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    Default Re: Age stress

    As we try to ignore it, disclaim it, disprove it. Stripping is for young women in their late-teens to mid-20's. Really, it's the men that pays for our services and majority of them tend to go to young women or at least appear young and in-shape. We can't be stripping all our life. Especially past 35.

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    Default Re: Age stress

    Quote Originally Posted by 305gurl View Post
    As we try to ignore it, disclaim it, disprove it. Stripping is for young women in their late-teens to mid-20's. Really, it's the men that pays for our services and majority of them tend to go to young women or at least appear young and in-shape. We can't be stripping all our life. Especially past 35.
    Tell that to Dita von Teese lol

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    Default Re: Age stress

    Quote Originally Posted by 305gurl View Post
    As we try to ignore it, disclaim it, disprove it. Stripping is for young women in their late-teens to mid-20's. Really, it's the men that pays for our services and majority of them tend to go to young women or at least appear young and in-shape. We can't be stripping all our life. Especially past 35.
    that simply isnít true though! So much to unpack here...the only parts of dancing that are easier for young women are staying up late and maybe pole work and even thatís debatable.

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