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Thread: Have you ever been a "big sister" to a new dancer?

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    Senior Member Kylie8585's Avatar
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    Default Have you ever been a "big sister" to a new dancer?

    I haven't been dancing that long compared to many here but feel like I've adapted well and know how the club works. We have a new girl that just started. She's 18 and I see a lot of potential but so clueless on some things. We've had small talk in the locker room but I've always kind of kept to myself and I'm the type of person that once I start having a good conversation I feel like I'm calling you my friend 60 minutes later. Even though I'd like to I resist. However, I feel like given how young and type of questions she's asked I could be helpful. Like I said I never really go out of my way but at the same time not used to somebody straight out of high school literally. She just graduated so I feel like I could at least be helpful in some ways. I never danced that young. I was 30 when I started so feel like I had a certain advantage there in some ways.

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    Featured Member BambiCutie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Have you ever been a "big sister" to a new dancer?

    I've been the new dancer to big Sisters and loved learning the ropes to being successful in the club, but it became a bit too much involved.
    Always leaning over your shoulder and whispering in your ear to give you advice instead of letting you test the waters kind of thing.
    Honestly being kind more than anything goes a long way with new dancers and helps them to feel more comfortable to show their full potential.

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    God/dess tempest666's Avatar
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    Default Re: Have you ever been a "big sister" to a new dancer?

    Not deliberately. They're like baby sea turtles. They're adorable but expendable. You know half don't make it past their first year.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: Have you ever been a "big sister" to a new dancer?

    Nah not really. I’d provide very minor assistance but only if they asked me.

    Only reason is because if you give free game away it’s like they don’t appreciate it n do the opposite or disregard.

    Unfortunately every dancer is your competition and round these parts you can’t help the competition win over you

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    God/dess Selina M's Avatar
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    Default Re: Have you ever been a "big sister" to a new dancer?

    I used to help them to some degree but it was mostly on stuff like "$10 dances exist but nobody does them so don't fucking do them" and "Don't let that guy touch you on the floor". Stuff where it was like nipping in the bud the start of any behavior that might make the club overall go downhill.

    I don't want to waste my entire shift getting sucked into being a tutor to someone.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

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    God/dess indiegirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Have you ever been a "big sister" to a new dancer?

    I used to be super helpful but I have my own problems to care about now. I've done free photo editing work for one lady, passed off customers to other ladies, screening for another, bought a girl some hair/lingerie at the club & gave her a 100$ swarovski bra who just turned 18, advice and random support to make a newbie feel more comfortable. Now I just stay in my own lane. I have my own life to figure out.

    The one thing I avoid is bringing work home in my personal life and I don't hang with ladies outside of sex work despite some of them doing that. My personal life is my safe place.
    Last edited by indiegirl; 06-22-2021 at 03:50 PM.

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    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: Have you ever been a "big sister" to a new dancer?

    Quote Originally Posted by Selina M View Post
    I used to help them to some degree but it was mostly on stuff like "$10 dances exist but nobody does them so don't fucking do them" and "Don't let that guy touch you on the floor". Stuff where it was like nipping in the bud the start of any behavior that might make the club overall go downhill.

    I don't want to waste my entire shift getting sucked into being a tutor to someone.
    Exactly, same. Other girls are a distraction from your work, unless they're paying you for your advice. Also remember that a lot of the value comes from learning things yourself as you go - trying to give somebody all of the answers may not even work for their style / personality, and it robs them of the value that comes with learning first-hand how to navigate that world. You often end up overextending yourself and getting too emotionally invested... huge distraction, potential drama. They'll catch on and learn just like the rest of us did.

    I'd give truncated answers when asked outright, but did my best to stay out of all of that.

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    Veteran Member StellaRose's Avatar
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    Default Re: Have you ever been a "big sister" to a new dancer?

    I have occasionally had conversation with newbie girls. One new dancer once curled some of the ends of my hair because she wanted to, which I thought was odd but eh why not. It looked cute and we chit chatted. I’m not really all that sociable at work anyways but I don’t mind occasionally chatting with somebody, whether new or not.

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    God/dess chanzep's Avatar
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    Default Re: Have you ever been a "big sister" to a new dancer?

    Not big sister but told them nicely and mistakes I saw . I don't remember many newbies but most of the clubs I worked were shark like so I wouldn't notice.
    xoxo

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    God/dess LoveyDovey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Have you ever been a "big sister" to a new dancer?

    No, I learned it's best not to get involved with other dancers. I only speak with a few of them and those are the ones I've gotten to know over a lot of time. If a new girl is screwing up (like setting shitfaced and attempting to do advanced pole tricks after putting lotion on) I'll intervene for safety but I am not holding someone's hand.
    Quote Originally Posted by We had a rabbit like you View Post
    And I'm over here like "fuck you, pay me". No non sense, sorry.

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    Veteran Member neverendingkneebruises's Avatar
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    Default Re: Have you ever been a "big sister" to a new dancer?

    I do what Selina M does, giving snippets of advice if I think will benefit the entire club in the long run. Like don't sit with a customer for more than 3 songs if it's moderately busy unless he's tipping, set a timer on your phone for the VIP rooms because sometimes the managers stop the room late, don't do floor dances, avoid xyz cheapo regular(s) and don't enable their behavior by giving them free time. I'm also open about what I charge for VIP (I also live in a safe area where I feel okay to do this) because some of these baby dancers will charge $100 for a half hour because they don't know they can charge more. (I know it's not done maliciously, it's more like their logic is I made $11/hr in my last job so that's incredible), I notice when I do this it empowers them to charge more because they didn't know they could before. I also give them quick etiquette heads-ups if they violate one of the unspoken rules (like hustling at the stage or approaching a customer when I'm sitting with him). But other than that kind of stuff which is minimal effort/energy I don't interfere because I'd rather spend my work time, well, working, lol.

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    Default Re: Have you ever been a "big sister" to a new dancer?

    They have the commodity of youth and I have the commodity of experience. I’m not giving that away for free what has taken me years to figure out.

    I also think this is an example of how women are socially conditioned to emotionally take care of others when there’s no benefit to ourselves. If anyone wants to be a big sister that’s cool, but I’m just raising awareness that women are frequently asked to do emotional labor for free.

    That being said, I’m more conscious of who I choose to invest in. I do believe community is important, but I’d wait for awhile before investing my time and energy and make sure it was healthy exchange. Not just me being used.

    -just my personal opinion.
    Last edited by moneybags; 06-26-2021 at 11:59 AM.
    Focus more on what you want than on what you don’t want

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    God/dess Selina M's Avatar
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    Default Re: Have you ever been a "big sister" to a new dancer?

    ^ Yeah but then there's people who don't like the "every woman for herself" thing and expect us to all be a "sisterhood" or some shit in the club.

    I'm all for banding together and driving out cheapo regulars or standing up for another girl if a customer is trying to touch her inappropriately or something. But I am not about trying to help other girls make money, honestly. There's a finite amount of cash in the building every night and I'm not sacrificing my share of it.

    I know we do a lot of giving money making advice on this board but it hits different when it's in your own club vs here where we're all across the country... Hypocritical, maybe, I don't know.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

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    Veteran Member neverendingkneebruises's Avatar
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    Default Re: Have you ever been a "big sister" to a new dancer?

    If strip clubs were a sisterhood we wouldn't have to lock up our shit, that's all I'll say about that

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    Default Re: Have you ever been a "big sister" to a new dancer?

    I really don't want to be "sisters" with a lot of these women seeing that a lot of them are negative and two-faced.
    Quote Originally Posted by We had a rabbit like you View Post
    And I'm over here like "fuck you, pay me". No non sense, sorry.

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