
Originally Posted by
trustfundkiller
When I was 20 or so, I landed what a lot of people would consider a dream sugar daddy. He plucked me up out of the strip club and gave me six-figures of "allowance" over the course of a year so I wouldn't have to work anymore. Bought me a Rolex, Chanel and Dior bags, paid for my Mercedes, designer shoes and clothing, jewelry, boob job. He would give me his credit card and tell me to go to Neiman Marcus and enjoy myself. You name it, I got it. He was the most narcissistic, emotionally abusive, manipulative bastard I've ever met in my life. He saw me as young and malleable and wanted me to worship the ground he walked on. And after awhile, stuff is just stuff. No matter how expensive the stuff is, the joy wears off.
I was constantly reminded about every little thing he did for me. He was always threatening to cut me off. He would tell me that no one "loves me" the way he does. He tried to turn me against my family, which was the weirdest part of it all. He was extremely jealous of any male interaction in my life, and would even argue with me over exes I've had in the past. I was nothing more than an accessory to him, and he was nothing more than an ATM to me which set up a very toxic dynamic where I was putting up with bullshit I would have ordinarily NEVER put up with, because I felt I had no other choice. My lifestyle had become so expensive, it was hard for me to finance it ...even while stripping, and I was caught up in leases and contracts I couldn't default on. Eventually I started drinking and using drugs to tolerate him because of how trapped I felt and how much I hated him.
He stole so much of my time and youth that I'll never get back. Demanded to see me multiple times a week, always wanted sex. Would text me/call me all day long. Wanted to speak for hours a day on the phone. Oh, and nothing I ever did was good enough. Everyday I was filled with anxiety and dread waiting to wake up to 10 paragraphs of crazy text messages telling me how awful I am, how I'm going to be cut off if he's displeased in any way, and how I should be giving him more; more everything. More time, more sex, more affection, etc. The situation ended in me filing a restraining order because I was afraid he'd become unhinged. (Restraining orders don't do anything, by the way. Lots of dead women who had restraining orders). But did it stop there? No, the pandemic came along and again I freaked out over money and went right back to him and tolerating the abuse. I knew he was abusive and I played the dumb damsel in distress game effectively doing whatever he wanted because I felt my choices were limited.
I've had a lot of therapy to help me cope with the trauma from that situation. And just yesterday, he texted me ready to rekindle things. I ignored him because I've finally realized that no amount of money or material goods are worth my peace and my time away from him has been great for my mental health. And guess what I woke up to? Paragraphs on paragraphs of how I'm a user, and I can never do better, and he's still the only person who has ever loved me, etc.
So, I would agree with everyone who said that these women might very well be concerned for you. There are a lot of ways for this situation to go wrong. You are dealing with an extremely unequal power dynamic. Naivety might have you believing that you know better, but you're dealing with some who already sees you as a commodity to be bought, not a human being. This guy doesn't sound like a sugar daddy to me, honestly. But it's not my place to tell you what money/gifts you should or shouldn't be happy with.
Just take this personal anecdote as a lesson. I've dealt with a lot of sugar daddies and all of them have had something wrong with them. Not saying you can't or shouldn't do it. I'm happy for the experiences I've had and it has helped my life in certain ways, but you need to go in knowing that this is a game that's not skewed in your favor. Milk it and get out.
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