Has Anyone Else Found It Ridiculously Hard to Quit Dancing?

[Diamond.Noire]

Is anyone else struggling to get out of the sex work / adult entertainment industry despite wanting (and maybe trying) to leave? If you are, what are you finding most difficult about changing careers? If not, could you please share your secrets to finding gainful employment after sex work?? 😆


I was hoping to rant, but practical solutions are welcome! I’m 24 and I got into dancing, camming, and escorting at 19 because of the flexibility and earning potential. I also have pretty bad adhd, so I’ve always found working full-time rather difficult. I was in college when I started, and the plan was to dance to support myself until I graduated and then quit dancing to go to a fully funded PhD program… Unfortunately, graduate school was not for me lol. My grades were fine, but the stipend I made as a TA was impossible to live on (roughly 1/4 what I made dancing). I left the program and went back to dancing last month.


Now it seems like the money in my club is disappearing, but I feel stuck. There aren’t any more viable options locally, and I’ve mostly quit escorting since a terrifying STD scare last year, so I’m not considering that as a long term plan. And now I’m too afraid that content sites like OnlyFans will ban SW to even try to make that my main source of income. So it’s time for me to get out of the industry, but I’m struggling because:

• I don’t want to spend forever in school without making significant money at the same time
• My resume doesn’t look great after almost 5 years without an employer
  
  • *note: I’ve heard of girls setting up an entertainment sales business entity to put on their resume in place of their sex work jobs. Has anyone tried this?
  
  
• I honestly don’t believe I can make good enough money doing anything else

Has anyone else struggled to leave the sex work / adult entertainment industry? What’s keeping you from changing careers (if you want to)? Or what has been helpful in you post-sex work job search?

[Raven88]

It took me a couple of years to recover from some of the trauma of dancing and get my first vanilla job. Then it took me awhile to gain experience in my field. Then I switched firms during COVID and I'm now working less.

When I first made my resume I had a friend with kids say I was working as a nanny/babysitter while in school, and shortly thereafter. Thank god for her or else I wouldn't have been able to fill my gap.

[305gurl]

Yes. Many of us do and even myself. Usually because we don't plan an "exit" out of the industry once we approach the age of 30 or making a comeback after having a child or two after a nasty breakup. We tend to think we're going to dance all our lives and the money will never stop dropping when we're fresh and naïve in our 20's. I only know a few that exactly planned an exit: went on to be a dentist, nurse, started her bar business.

I'm in my 30s and pursing a nursing degree. The first step is the hardest.

[Selina M]

My friend changed careers into what is called a Sales Development Rep (or Business Development Rep). She was a dancer for years and I forget exactly what she wrote but it was basically bullshit, she made up a fake company and said she sold clients on their services.

They take a lot of people from the retail, hospitality, etc. sorts of industries. Career changers are pretty common from what I see on their job ads. The salaries are usually $40-50k plus commissions, so not too bad, and most of them are remote.

If you're feeling ballsy, you could honestly try using your dancing experience, just write the resume so it's pretty clear that what you did was sales (it really is). I'd be curious if a few companies got interested.

You can make the same or better money as the club, the issue that hangs most of us up (myself included) is that you're going to a) probably be on a schedule, b) have to work 2-3x as many hours. That's why when I'm not dancing I'm generally serving or bartending, similar money & hours

[LoveyD]

It took the pandemic to force me into retirement. I used the time in lockdown to write a book about a near death experience I had in 2006 when a customer's now ex wife put a hit out on me. Now I'm a published author who speaks publicly on my experience and am now focusing on my vocation and fulfilling my purpose in life.

I could still go back and dance, but after 15 years of it I really don't want to deal with such a predatory, reptilian client base. Happy to be free from it!

Bottom line: have something else to work toward while you're dancing so that once it's over, you'll have something to move on to.

[Diamond.Noire]

It took me a couple of years to recover from some of the trauma of dancing and get my first vanilla job. Then it took me awhile to gain experience in my field. Then I switched firms during COVID and I'm now working less.

When I first made my resume I had a friend with kids say I was working as a nanny/babysitter while in school, and shortly thereafter. Thank god for her or else I wouldn't have been able to fill my gap.

Having a friend say I was a nanny is about the only thing I haven't thought of for padding my resume. Brilliant! I sadly relate very heavily to the "trauma of dancing."

What occupation / industry are you working in now if you don't mind?

[Diamond.Noire]

Yes. Many of us do and even myself. Usually because we don't plan an "exit" out of the industry once we approach the age of 30 or making a comeback after having a child or two after a nasty breakup. We tend to think we're going to dance all our lives and the money will never stop dropping when we're fresh and naïve in our 20's.

That's so true. I've been trying to nail down what it is that me and my fellow dancers were struggling with most in regards to quitting, and the lack of advanced planning seems to be the huge thing.

[Diamond.Noire]

My friend changed careers into what is called a Sales Development Rep (or Business Development Rep). She was a dancer for years and I forget exactly what she wrote but it was basically bullshit, she made up a fake company and said she sold clients on their services.

They take a lot of people from the retail, hospitality, etc. sorts of industries. Career changers are pretty common from what I see on their job ads. The salaries are usually $40-50k plus commissions, so not too bad, and most of them are remote.

If you're feeling ballsy, you could honestly try using your dancing experience, just write the resume so it's pretty clear that what you did was sales (it really is). I'd be curious if a few companies got interested.

You can make the same or better money as the club, the issue that hangs most of us up (myself included) is that you're going to a) probably be on a schedule, b) have to work 2-3x as many hours. That's why when I'm not dancing I'm generally serving or bartending, similar money & hours

I tried something in between what your friend did and the "ballsy" move haha I listed myself as a self-employed salesperson and highlighted the appropriate responsibilities, but during my interview, I did tell them straight up that I performed all the listed duties as an entertainer at a strip club.

[Diamond.Noire]

Now I'm a published author who speaks publicly on my experience and am now focusing on my vocation and fulfilling my purpose in life.

I am so happy for you! I love a good success story. I've always wanted to be a writer, but my imposter syndrome stops me every time. I'd love to hear how that process went for you! Feel free to PM me or direct me to your website.

[LoveyD]

^^Thank you. <3 pm'ed you.

[305gurl]

The most taken route for retiring dancers go to is bartending.

[Sam38g]

This industry gives you lots of skills in sales, and companies know it is hard to find good sales people. There are all kinds of classes & skills you can learn online that pay decent. And if this is the only industry you have ever know, please go work a job in the so-called real world. Go work at several to see what it is all about & live life from a different perspective. But at no time think that turning 30 is an expiration date, that is the language of groomers & predators.

There is no aging out of this industry, just getting tired of it & ready to have new goals & challenges. Which most people want to do after 5 years or more in any industry want to move on & do something else. Totally normal need to keep moving forward in life & growing as a person.

Bartending is a great transitional job then you get to know people on a different level & make more professional contacts that might lead to a more 9 to 5 kind of job or career.

[jack0177057]

My ATF saved up money and retired to start a business in trucking. (How she got into trucking, I don't know.) She had actually saved up enough money to get a couple of trucks, and when she talked about it, it was clear she had done her homework and knew her shit about the trucking business (maybe from family or boyfriend?). When I met her, she was already an 'older' dancer and had been dancing for over a decade. She was amazing - full of charisma and warmth. She was the type of lovely lady that makes a guy come on this site and ask, 'Does she really love me? Do I have a future with her?' Obviously, that wouldn't be me, yet, I did develop a strong stripper crush on her.

The point is, when she retired (which broke my heart), she had accumulated enough capital to start her own business. Such a remarkable woman! If you can save some capital, you can start your own business. It doesn't have to be a big business, you can start small. I've seen former dancers on youtube giving lessons on pole dancing and many seem to have their own studios for live lessons.

One thing I've wondered is why dancers don't buy clubs after they've retired. Okay, it might be too expensive for one dancer alone, but, between two or three, there could be enough capital for a downpayment on the purchase of a club. I've seen clubs for sale for as low as $300,000. (This price does not include real estate, it leased the space.) It might be a hole in the wall, but, a woman's touch could make even a small club very cozy. Presumably, dancers know a lot about the club business and could manage it themselves, but, this is just an assumption on my part.

[moneybags]

Yes because once people find out you use to adult work they fire you or harass you. Then you have no choice but to back to dancing.


I will lie for anyone who wants to get out of this industry btw. Say you were nanny and have someone lie for you. You have to lie to get out the industry or vanilla people will never hire you.

Like a dear friend said, people point with one hand and jerk off with the other

i remember someone saying there’s is a company where they basically lie for you and have a whole resume for you.

there’s no right or wrong time to leave the industry. Leave when the money isn’t worth it anymore.

Absolutely save as much as possible and have an exit strategy so you don’t HAVE to dance.

What other job can you make 1 k once a night in cash. I don’t think there’s always something wrong with not wanting to quit, but for others they should quit because it has a negative effect on them and they can’t-that’s not a fun place to be.

[Raven88]

Having a friend say I was a nanny is about the only thing I haven't thought of for padding my resume. Brilliant! I sadly relate very heavily to the "trauma of dancing."

What occupation / industry are you working in now if you don't mind?

I work in legal now. But I'm actually thinking of going back for one last hurrah, we will see if that works out or not.

I tried something in between what your friend did and the "ballsy" move haha I listed myself as a self-employed salesperson and highlighted the appropriate responsibilities, but during my interview, I did tell them straight up that I performed all the listed duties as an entertainer at a strip club.

How did that work out? I once applied to work for a legal aid office that specializes in helping marginalized women who often were in sex work. They specifically stated in their add they want to hire marginalized or under represented groups, so I put in my cover letter that I was a retired dancer and pole instructor. They called me in for an interview and were horrified when I elaborated on it further ( I assume they didn't read my cover letter at all)

I will never do that again.

[305gurl]

I did a little research and asking around. It seems a good number of retired sex-related workers tend to work as real estate agents and in the insurance industry. As well in the healthcare sector.

I know of former pornstar that works as a teacher for a private school. I guess any job in the private sector will do as long you're well-known among the general population - i.e. Sasha Grey, Mia Khalifa.