Met a man who I really clicked mentally with but couldn’t “handle me”??

[lurkingtitties]

Techqueen your ‘tough love’ is coming off as belittling and condescending. If you actually want to help or help chicks to see things from a different perspective I would recommend a different approach.

Agreed, been noticing this too. Very well said.

[pinkvelvetxo]

I ll say this, my story… It was more to vent, but it’s obviously triggering to women on here because we’ve all been through something similar to this at some point. And we are arguing with each other here which I understand but let’s look at the fact that these guys are laughing while we are getting emotional. I love reading Sam38G s posts on this forum because she seems like someone who is so strong and I really admire her. Like I’m over here feeling insecure when I should be laughing at this whole thing ..

[carmen_b]

^ Well no ..... you shouldn't be laughing that someone wasted your time .
Really all you can do is move on and asses the NEXT situation better.
Hold off sex for a couple months until you are SURE the person cares about you .

I feel like men take advantage of the current dating scene.
Since women have sex faster they are treating women like cheap escorts with many of them ( for whatever reason ) are just not offering a relationship.
If they are not offering a relationship I want to make sure to CHARGE them.
Alternatively, I want to avoid them and spend time with someone who will offer that.

[Raven88]

I ll say this, my story… It was more to vent, but it’s obviously triggering to women on here because we’ve all been through something similar to this at some point. And we are arguing with each other here which I understand but let’s look at the fact that these guys are laughing while we are getting emotional. I love reading Sam38G s posts on this forum because she seems like someone who is so strong and I really admire her. Like I’m over here feeling insecure when I should be laughing at this whole thing ..

I wouldn't assume he was laughing.. He was on the verge of hysterics from what you said earlier. In my case the guy was getting drunk, emotional and getting sick in front of friends.
I find both of these things funny. But embarrassing for them. They brought this on themselves imo.

What I am taking away from this is that we have to be SO careful these days. I get the feeling that I am a little older than you (34) and I had one very long relationship recently before getting back into the dating game.
Before this I had a long term relationship in my teens-early 20's. then was celibate for 5 years before the current long term situation.

I'm seeing that society has changed SO much since I was 19 and an innocent common law housewife. Honesty I was shocked at the behaviour and entitlement of some of these men.

I agree with Carmen that we have to go into this very strategically in the future and be VERY surgical with our approach from now on.. honestly I blame civilian women for creating the current dating climate.

[carmen_b]

Yes, If ALL women stopped TODAY giving sex to men they don't know well ( less than 2-3 months ) and it was just assumed you need to get to know a woman and CHOOSE her / get that relationship established in order to get sex people wouldn't get their feelings hurt over this . This kind of behavior harms women. You were offended because it is OFFENSIVE.

To quote my Grandma : " make sure to keep a quarter between your knees ".

If a guy " isn't sure " about you or " isn't sure " about making you a gf ..... then ok .... he gets nothing then.

[techqueen]

To quote my Grandma : " make sure to keep a quarter between your knees ".

If a guy " isn't sure " about you or " isn't sure " about making you a gf ..... then ok .... he gets nothing then.

Unfortunately these days comments like this will get you accused of "internalized misogyny".
Fuck boys show up in our lives for a reason. They're meant to teach us lessons. And we're supposed to learn from them.

[seashell]

Just my random personal experience with this topic...

I've come across a few guys who said I had too high of a sex drive, and literally said things like "I've never had this much sex in my life." In a negative way. But I've dated guys who have WAY higher of a sex drive than I do. It's so personal. It sucks to feel judged for just being you (especially when it's a desirable thing that they don't appreciate).

But I'm intense in other ways, so I also get told that they can't handle me for a variety of reasons. Sometimes personalities clash, and people will verbalize it as if you're the problem. A relationship goes two ways, and there's usually quite a lot of nuance, so don't let some guy's insecure/poorly formed opinion get you down.

[DeathAndTaxes]

Just my random personal experience with this topic...

I've come across a few guys who said I had too high of a sex drive, and literally said things like "I've never had this much sex in my life." In a negative way. But I've dated guys who have WAY higher of a sex drive than I do. It's so personal. It sucks to feel judged for just being you (especially when it's a desirable thing that they don't appreciate).

It is the refractory period, when there is release of prolactin among other hormones, men don't like sex, we don't think about it, we don't want to do it, we want to do anything else. It can last for hours or it can last days, It is all biology so I would not take it personally.

Luckily there are ways to eliminate the refractory period (in my case just have it last 10 seconds) but this is a field that is not understood at all.

[seashell]

^That is super interesting! Makes a ton of sense!

[DeathAndTaxes]

^ Yup it is extremely weird that is never talked about, men bemoan about not being multi orgasmic like some women, when the tools are available to train our minds and bodies to do the same, it is just never studied, much less talked about.

[305gurl]

I'm late. But... Just. Move. The. Hell. On.

[Percy]

I had a guy once who could not masturbate unless he was rubbing a fuzzy blanket on his penis.

I was turned off because I like seeing men do that but not with a blanket. I tried to help him but he could only do it and he was too old to apparently change. It broke us up. I mean, I just got turned off by it.