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Thread: Is it just the money?

  1. #26
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    Default Re: Is it just the money?

    I get it. I am an attorney and we are often compared to prostitutes. It is true in many ways. I am an advocate for my client. The listen to them. I try to understand their unique perspective to present their 'side of the truth' and make them come across as human and sympathetic. Naturally, the clients develop an attachment and feel like I am their closest and best friend. It is an interesting thing, psychologically. They pour their hearts out to me. I pretend to care and discreetly keep looking at my watch, thinking - This bastard has taken up 2 hours of my time just whining about his work, his wife and his kids. He better not bitch about it when he gets my bill.

    When I go to a club, I am there for an escape of reality and to bask in a fantasy. Sure, I get lost in the fantasy. I develop a crush, even. I enjoy the experience of feeling like I'm in love again - the smiles, the nervousness, the butterflies in my stomach and the lust. Deep down, I understand it is not real, just like my deep concern for my clients is not real. I do not resent the skills of a dancer in making me feel wonderful, even if the experience is short lived. So what if she is only doing it for money? Her acting skills are outstanding! She deserves to be rewarded.
    Last edited by jack0177057; 08-30-2022 at 11:31 AM.
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    Default Re: Is it just the money?

    The money was certainly a factor, but just wanting to know if I could was a large part of it. Maybe I saw it as further escaping the box I was brought up to be confined to, something like that.
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    Default Re: Is it just the money?

    I can only speak for me but I really don't get the point of this thread. Does it matter why a sex worker wants to do this job? All that should matter is did you have a great time? Did you tip them? Did you cause them issues?
    These are the bigger questions than "Is this just for the money?" As far as myself, money is one of the main factors of being in this industry. But it's deeper than that. I am not going to be sexual for free. I am not going to be romantic for free period. I am not going waste my femininity and time for free. So, this industry is perfect for me. Because the point of my sexuality is monetize as much as possible. Just my two cents.

    Quote Originally Posted by thegentlemen View Post
    It seems that a large part of stripping involves having to please men in one form or another, their emotional, intellectual, and need for sexual arousal. Do you like these aspects of the business, or is it only the money? Put another way, if you could make the same money in a different industry and start immediately, would you get out of the stripping business or keep going?
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    Default Re: Is it just the money?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sam38g View Post
    Reality is no one goes to any job and has so much fun that they say, no need to pay me. If your boss saw you having a good time at work and then said, "well, no need to pay you this week, you seem to enjoy this job and dont need the pay." You would quit. No matter how nice your boss is, even if you were fucking him/her/they and them on the side. You would still want that pay check. And if your boss, despite not being attracted to them insisted on a blow job every morning before work started. And then said how it looks like you really enjoyed blowing them and no longer need to pay you. I bet, you would have an issue about it.

    See how the shoe on the other foot fits.
    Yep. I do, and I can see how ridiculous and insulting it might be that the boss to suggest or even ask. Good point! Thank you.

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    Default Re: Is it just the money?

    Quote Originally Posted by DonaDiabla View Post
    I can only speak for me but I really don't get the point of this thread. Does it matter why a sex worker wants to do this job? All that should matter is did you have a great time? Did you tip them? Did you cause them issues?
    These are the bigger questions than "Is this just for the money?" As far as myself, money is one of the main factors of being in this industry. But it's deeper than that. I am not going to be sexual for free. I am not going to be romantic for free period. I am not going waste my femininity and time for free. So, this industry is perfect for me. Because the point of my sexuality is monetize as much as possible. Just my two cents.
    Well, it's called curiosity. But yes, to me, it does matter.
    Personally, I would not be able to enjoy a lap dance knowing that a dancer, in reality, hates the experience, despises me as a customer, and is only doing it to make rent, and I think a lot of men would quit clubbing if dancers gave up the fantasy. So please, lie to us.

    It has nothing to do with my male ego. For old schools like me, it has more to do with being conditioned to feel it's morally wrong to pay for anything sexual. Also, it feels like I'm forcing a woman or using money/drugs to get her to do sexual acts against her will.

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    Default Re: Is it just the money?

    Quote Originally Posted by jasmine22 View Post
    I enjoy pleasing men Iím attracted to, yes. I wouldnít do this job if I wasnít a sexual person. Some of the guys Iíve dealt with I actually enjoyed my time with and I happen to like the power we have as women of getting a guy off and getting paid for it. To men thatís feminism, being comfortable in your feminine power. If Iím not attracted to them, the money makes up for it, but the guy has to be respectful of my boundaries or else itís a turnoff completely.

    I unfortunately have found that men get too lost in the fantasy and they start to shift into obsession with the girls. They think because they see us regularly or spent a lot of money on us that we owe them more than the service provided. This can become a dangerous situation for us, and I think thatís one reason why everyone has responded harshly.
    I appreciate your candor and insight. Not what I expected, but you responded to everything I was wondering about in a way I could understand and learn from. Best of luck!

    P.S. You sound like a woman aware of her feminine power and who knows how to use it to dominate and enslave men in the club.

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    Default Re: Is it just the money?

    It is absolutely about the money. The fast money. The freedom and flexibility. This job is extremely lucrative and has come to be so through self education. I am an actress, performer, temptress and entertainer. I am almost forced to take care of myself in order to keep attracting clients. As women we are blessed to have the opportunity to become independent through this industry and hone in on our craft to create success. Do I genuinely appreciate the customers? Yes of course, they are feeding me and paying my bills. Sometimes I even have a little, tiniest ounce of fun doing this work. However at the end of the day it is mainly a faÁade and I'd much rather prefer to spend my time in the company of animals and nature. So I collect my money and think about the day I'll be able to do just that.

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    Default Re: Is it just the money?

    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post
    I get it. I am an attorney and we are often compared to prostitutes. It is true in many ways. I am an advocate for my client. The listen to them. I try to understand their unique perspective to present their 'side of the truth' and make them come across as human and sympathetic. Naturally, the clients develop an attachment and feel like I am their closest and best friend. It is an interesting thing, psychologically. They pour their hearts out to me. I pretend to care and discreetly keep looking at my watch, thinking - This bastard has taken up 2 hours of my time just whining about his work, his wife and his kids. He better not bitch about it when he gets my bill.

    When I go to a club, I am there for an escape of reality and to bask in a fantasy. Sure, I get lost in the fantasy. I develop a crush, even. I enjoy the experience of feeling like I'm in love again - the smiles, the nervousness, the butterflies in my stomach and the lust. Deep down, I understand it is not real, just like my deep concern for my clients is not real. I do not resent the skills of a dancer in making me feel wonderful, even if the experience is short lived. So what if she is only doing it for money? Her acting skills are outstanding! She deserves to be rewarded.
    I would not hire an attorney like the one described here. The attorney's fake attitude will show itself in the quality of services he provides.


    If a good lawyer knows how to fake it when he does not give a dam about his clients, then a genuine lawyer who does care is far better. And they do exist. Please, the most successful professionals in any industry do not enter it JUST FOR MONEY. They wouldn't even get accepted into the most competitive degree programs.

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    Default Re: Is it just the money?

    Quote Originally Posted by carmen_b View Post
    I have done this for 15 years on and off just the thrillllllzzzzzz !!

    I don't even charge ! When I'm in the club I just discreetly give whatever the guy gave me BACK to them.

    It's the only thing that gets me off really ( working for free ) !
    Lol, this is so good

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    Default Re: Is it just the money?

    Quote Originally Posted by thegentlemen View Post
    I'm not exactly thrilled about my experience thus far, either. I assumed this was a forum for strip club patrons to ask questions and receive advice from actual strippers. Obviously, I was wrong about that, as my inquiries have yet to be answered or even addressed...


    Oh, I get it. You prefer men be charming, interesting, and respectful patrons, while providers come on here to attack, insult, and ridicule male guests simply in search of advice. No thanks. What a colossal waste of my time.


    And yet you're still here, apparently unsatisfied with all of the consistent responses that you got. All I can say is don't ask a question unless you're ready to accept answers that you may not want to hear.

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    Default Re: Is it just the money?

    Quote Originally Posted by GrrlCustie View Post
    And yet you're still here, apparently unsatisfied with all of the consistent responses that you got. All I can say is don't ask a question unless you're ready to accept answers that you may not want to hear.
    I was not satisfied with any responses when I posted this no, but a few of the ladies have since taken the question seriously and began shedding light on the subject. I did get my question answered and learned a lot in the process. I'm merely responding at this point.

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    Default Re: Is it just the money?

    My point is that you should just focus on being entertained by the dancer. Men like yourself focus too much on other things and not enough on the experience.

    Quote Originally Posted by thegentlemen View Post
    Well, it's called curiosity. But yes, to me, it does matter.
    Personally, I would not be able to enjoy a lap dance knowing that a dancer, in reality, hates the experience, despises me as a customer, and is only doing it to make rent, and I think a lot of men would quit clubbing if dancers gave up the fantasy. So please, lie to us.

    It has nothing to do with my male ego. For old schools like me, it has more to do with being conditioned to feel it's morally wrong to pay for anything sexual. Also, it feels like I'm forcing a woman or using money/drugs to get her to do sexual acts against her will.
    Wolves may lurk in every guise / Now as then, 'tis simple truth / Sweetest tongue has sharpest tooth.

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    Default Re: Is it just the money?

    Quote Originally Posted by DonaDiabla View Post
    My point is that you should just focus on being entertained by the dancer. Men like yourself focus too much on other things and not enough on the experience.
    I got your point, and you are right. It's the main thing I'm focused on inside the club, as it should be (as a customer). Those things do not take a back seat because I'm exercising my curiosity here. It seems to me that what it takes to entertain a customer or issues surrounding their "entertainment" are questions you should be asking.

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    Default Re: Is it just the money?

    [QUOTE=thegentlemen;3298031]
    Quote Originally Posted by Sam38g View Post
    He likes to pretend that women in all jobs have to in one way or another don't have to cater to men, or otherwise they won't get promoted, raises. How hard women work to even be heard or deal with men's fragile egos on every single job site. The shear amount of sexual harassment, jokes made at our expenses that are sexist daily at every single job. And if you go to HR to complain, then they look for ways to get you to quit so they can keep the man happy. How we all have to go overboard to be pleasant to men in the streets when they are sexually harassing us to keep from being murdered.

    As a man, I can only imagine the BS women have to endure when dealing with men. Believe me, I've had my share of quality women that never got what they deserved out of the relationship. I'd like to believe that I have changed, except I'm beginning to think I may be taking advantage of women in strip clubs. Does the fact that I'm extremely generous and get permissions up front give me the right to take advantage of them- I didn't say abuse- but take advantage?
    Ummmmm... taking advantage of somebody **is** abuse. It's emotional abuse. Nobody has the right to abuse another.

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    Default Re: Is it just the money?

    Quote Originally Posted by thegentlemen View Post
    Put another way, if you could make the same money in a different industry and start immediately, would you get out of the stripping business or keep going?
    If I still only had to work less than part time and make my own schedule sure.

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    Default Re: Is it just the money?

    [QUOTE=LoveyD;3300845]
    Quote Originally Posted by thegentlemen View Post

    Ummmmm... taking advantage of somebody **is** abuse. It's emotional abuse. Nobody has the right to abuse another.
    Well, If I want something different, I ask, and the dancer agrees because I'm a stand-up guy, and I tip well, I don't think I'm abusing her, as long as I stay within the boundaries of our new arrangement and tip for the extra inconvenience. Am I taking advantage? Yes. Not of her but of the situation- of an opportunity. I'm asking if it's okay to do that?


    To me, taking advantage (using a person) is trying to get my way or more than what is reasonable by exploiting some weakness or loophole. It does not always involve abuse, but it's never a good thing to do, and it's horrible if it causes emotional harm.

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    Default Re: Is it just the money?

    If money were not the factor, then I would not be nearly as motivated to perform, neither too thrilled about it. I have found that men who claim to be humble, tip well or other, tend to be the opposite of kindhearted or with fair intentions. (Though this may not be the case) It is what I have experienced and encountered with the majority of men.

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    Default Re: Is it just the money?

    Quote Originally Posted by BambiCutie View Post
    I have found that men who claim to be humble, tip well or other, tend to be the opposite of kindhearted or with fair intentions. (Though this may not be the case) It is what I have experienced and encountered with the majority of men.
    That's sad. I wish you had better luck with men. Kind-hearted men with honest intentions do exist. Believe me they're out there. I don't know your situation, but I can tell you from my own experience of being stuck in a pattern of always meeting or dating a particular type of female that I was the cause of it, because of changes I needed to make.

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    Default Re: Is it just the money?

    I don't see this job as tricking and manipulating men into spending. The customers know what's up when they walk into the club. Nobody just stumbles into a strip club. These customers came to us, not the other way around. They INTEND to spend their money. They ENJOY spending their money on women.

    Some dancers actually hate the job but they do it for the money because it's good money, or because stripping pays better than their other job options, it's their only/best option, or has perks that vanilla jobs don't have (like flexibility). And some dancers enjoy the job for most part and prefer it to vanilla jobs and do genuinely enjoy being a pleasing company for men. It depends on the dancer and I don't think there's one narrative for everyone.

    Now how good the job is - it depends on the customers. There are good customers, and bad customers. For the good respectul generous customers, I want them to be happy with my services. A barista doesn't pour coffee for free (and she shouldn't), and she wouldn't be doing it if she wasn't paid - but it's still nice to see friendly familiar faces in customers, respectful customers who appreciate your services, customers who tip well, and having a routine.

    Just be a decent person, not with the motive of "milking people" for all they are worth. Nobody likes cheap customers who are trying to "get the most for the dollar", strippers are people. If you get the vibe that a stripper is trying to exploit you, then you're free to go find another stripper. If you feel like the stripper isn't enjoying her time, then try to help make her time better. Take a shower before you go, learn how to read people, be respectful of boundaries, pay and tip well (yes stripping is a service job so tip!!), don't take anything too personally.


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    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    What would "future you" want you to do right now?




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    Default Re: Is it just the money?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cashmere Star View Post
    I don't see this job as tricking and manipulating men into spending. The customers know what's up when they walk into the club. Nobody just stumbles into a strip club. These customers came to us, not the other way around. They INTEND to spend their money. They ENJOY spending their money on women.

    Some dancers actually hate the job but they do it for the money because it's good money, or because stripping pays better than their other job options, it's their only/best option, or has perks that vanilla jobs don't have (like flexibility). And some dancers enjoy the job for most part and prefer it to vanilla jobs and do genuinely enjoy being a pleasing company for men. It depends on the dancer and I don't think there's one narrative for everyone.

    Now how good the job is - it depends on the customers. There are good customers, and bad customers. For the good respectul generous customers, I want them to be happy with my services. A barista doesn't pour coffee for free (and she shouldn't), and she wouldn't be doing it if she wasn't paid - but it's still nice to see friendly familiar faces in customers, respectful customers who appreciate your services, customers who tip well, and having a routine.

    Just be a decent person, not with the motive of "milking people" for all they are worth. Nobody likes cheap customers who are trying to "get the most for the dollar", strippers are people. If you get the vibe that a stripper is trying to exploit you, then you're free to go find another stripper. If you feel like the stripper isn't enjoying her time, then try to help make her time better. Take a shower before you go, learn how to read people, be respectful of boundaries, pay and tip well (yes stripping is a service job so tip!!), don't take anything too personally.
    Intelligent and articulate response and loaded with great advice for dancers and customers. Thank you.

    They INTEND to spend their money. They ENJOY spending their money on women...
    AND they enjoy spending money on almost any woman- the ONLY reason it may not be you is that clubs offer customers a choice of beautiful women, so you have to deal with competition. There's nothing you can do about that. A customer has to pick you. The problem is most dancers don't know when a guy is choosing them. You don't have to sit and talk to them to find out.



    If you feel like the stripper isn't enjoying her time, then try to help make her time better...
    It never ceases to amaze me just how easy it is to make her time better. I guess the ladies on here are correct- most male customers suck.

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    Default Re: Is it just the money?

    Quote Originally Posted by thegentlemen View Post
    The problem is most dancers don't know when a guy is choosing them. You don't have to sit and talk to them to find out.
    If we are talking about mind reading it's true that not all dancers do that.

    If a customer simply actively does something like tips big or comes up and asks for a dance then the dancer can't possibly miss it, unless maybe the customer has a very fragile voice that can't be heard over the music. Some men do like to make their lives harder than it has to be though, like the guys sitting and and waiting for you to come up to them meanwhile you're working your way through the room and another guy takes you for a dance or VIP. Which means the guy waiting has to sit and wait some more, wasting his own time until he finally gets that dance he wanted like two hours ago. Oh well like you say it's his choice, and he has the full right to make bad choices obviously, but I don't have to agree with it.

    And don't I just love it when a guy comes on here to tell dancers how to do their job, it makes me a bit hot under the collar. When a man has never danced a day in his life and it shows but never mind that, just inhale the male wisdom and as long as you don't use the logical part of your brain too much it'll give you a dopamine rush.

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    Default Re: Is it just the money?

    Quote Originally Posted by thegentlemen View Post
    The problem is most dancers don't know when a guy is choosing them. You don't have to sit and talk to them to find out.

    I disagree. I think most will make it apparent even if they donít actually intend to, but often they end up playing stupid little games. I donít know if they ambiguity gives them sole sort of ďaura of mysteryĒ that weíll somehow find intriguing or whatever, but me, personallyÖ if a customer acts wishy washy, Iím just gonna move right along. If I end up not making money with them, I know Iíll make it without them.
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    Default Re: Is it just the money?

    Quote Originally Posted by Likethis View Post
    If we are talking about mind reading it's true that not all dancers do that.

    If a customer simply actively does something like tips big or comes up and asks for a dance then the dancer can't possibly miss it, unless maybe the customer has a very fragile voice that can't be heard over the music. Some men do like to make their lives harder than it has to be though, like the guys sitting and and waiting for you to come up to them meanwhile you're working your way through the room and another guy takes you for a dance or VIP. Which means the guy waiting has to sit and wait some more, wasting his own time until he finally gets that dance he wanted like two hours ago. Oh well like you say it's his choice, and he has the full right to make bad choices obviously, but I don't have to agree with it.

    And don't I just love it when a guy comes on here to tell dancers how to do their job, it makes me a bit hot under the collar. When a man has never danced a day in his life and it shows but never mind that, just inhale the male wisdom and as long as you don't use the logical part of your brain too much it'll give you a dopamine rush.
    If we are talking about mind reading it's true that not all dancers do that...

    Customers (men) at the club don't talk with their minds; they speak with their eyes.


    And don't I just love it when a guy comes on here to tell dancers how to do their job, it makes me a bit hot under the collar. When a man has never danced a day in his life and it shows but never mind that, just inhale the male wisdom and as long as you don't use the logical part of your brain too much it'll give you a dopamine rush...

    It was never my intent to tell you how to do your job or offer any unsolicited advice. I wanted to share something with you but did not. This is not the forum for that, and because I knew some of you would react this way, so I will restrain myself from commenting on the rest of your post. My desire to share was not out of any need to display wisdom. It was out of a sincere desire to be of help. Why? Because I happen to love and admire young women who work as strip dancers, and I'm eager to help them in any way they will let me. I'm sorry if that doesn't feel right to you, coming from a man, but try to keep open an open mind. There is a reason why successful businesses invest thousands, even millions for their customer's opinions; so they can be better at what they do. They understand that it's the customer they are trying to please. Who better to ask? Especially one that has been a loyal patron for decades as I have.

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    Default Re: Is it just the money?

    Quote Originally Posted by AChildOfBoredom View Post
    I disagree. I think most will make it apparent even if they donít actually intend to, but often they end up playing stupid little games. I donít know if they ambiguity gives them sole sort of ďaura of mysteryĒ that weíll somehow find intriguing or whatever, but me, personallyÖ if a customer acts wishy washy, Iím just gonna move right along. If I end up not making money with them, I know Iíll make it without them.
    What you are saying is true, and I make my intentions apparent also, but I don't always use words. I'm not trying to tell you how to do your job. I'm just saying there's a way to know if I'm interested without us having to exchange any words. I'm ready for a private dance with you, and you know it. You are just coming over to confirm when that will be. From a customer's point of view, I can tell you if I have to walk over to ask you for a private dance, you already missed all the times I was admiring you and trying to get your attention.

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    Default Re: Is it just the money?

    Fucking autocorrect has really been doing a number on me lately. But you got the gist of what I was saying.

    Thereís always going to be a trade off. I think your point has validity, but you as a customer and us as dancers are always going to look at it through very different lenses. And one thing you should be mindful of is how exactly do you come across to them? Because there is such a thing as too keen of an interest as well. For example, Iíve had customers who made their interest clear, but theyíd sit there and just stare relentlessly. It saying you do this and I donít want to come across as assuming you donít, but do you realize the kind of vibe that gives?



    Iíve kinda been trying to avoid this thread because thereís a lot missing by not really being able to observe you ďin the wildĒ as it were. Not every customer passes the vibe check, you know? Of course I canít speak for you in that regard. It is a potential factor.

    And Iím not saying you intent to kidnap a dancer, put her into a pit and make her rub lotion on her skin, but if this is happening consistently, then I see it as a troubleshooting matter. I was never a full-time stripperÖ it was always a side gig until I hung my heels up during the pandemic. Youíd never think it looking at me (either in stripper attire or regular Ďcivilianí clothes), but Iím a truck and heavy equipment mechanic at my regular job. So I see it in the same light. Operator says a hydraulic implement is moving slow. Okay, right off the bat, I know the speed of a hydraulic implement is determined by flow (not pressure, as some believe), so Iíd hook my flow meter up on the discharge side of the pump as the first troubleshooting step.

    I feel like thereís something similar here, where youíre jumping to a conclusion and possibly misdiagnosing the issue, not realizing thereís an issue with flow going on here. Problem is, itís impossible to diagnose from a distance. And maybe it really isnít on your end at all. Iíd just be open to examining those possibilities.
    Written on the walls at the house of sorrow
    You can find the names of those who burned
    Greater yet, the pain in little drawings
    I could not remain in that room

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