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Thread: I will NEVER EVER sign up to be an Organ Donor after seeing my sister tortured

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    Default I will NEVER EVER sign up to be an Organ Donor after seeing my sister tortured

    I lost my sister this week. Been in hospitals and such off and on over the past 2 to 3 weeks. My sister was not in the best of health, but thought I would still have 2 to 3 more years with her. Sadly, she had a brain hemorage this past Sunday & was brain dead. She was kept physically alive for several days until her husband relented to let her go.

    And why does someone who only knew her for two years have more rights than family members who knew her from the day she was born pisses me off to no end. Proof we are still property of men.

    Just as we all gathered around to say the final good bye, to take her off the machines. Arora stepped in and said she was an organ donor & got us to agree to let them test and see if she could help someone else. WHAT they don't tell you is that they will keep them on machines for days while they run test & look for donors. I watched my little sister's face become more & more disformed & swollen until she was unrecognizable.

    Instead of being surrounded by everyone that loved her, we were limited to 4 people.

    You would think with technology and computers that finding those who'd need the donated organs would take a few moments. NO, it takes days. Due to long term diabetes and health problems, only her liver could be used. So they tortured her for that time for just one organ then tell us, no one was a match.

    Now, organ transplants are expensive and that brand new hospital with 4 new buildings and several more going up shows it is nothing but a profit grab in which the donor family gets absolutely NOTHING. They won't even offer to pay for the funeral.

    Everyone & even their website for Arora focuses on the people helped, but nothing about what your loved one will go through or your family. No one cares, only thing that matters is parting them out & profit.

    I feel like we were lied too and mislead every single step of the way. Arora is nothing but vultures. Further more, if anyone wants to tell me about the lives saved. Realize one thing, I don't give a fuck. You were not there holding the hand of someone you have loved & protected all of your life as they took their last breath.
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    Default Re: I will NEVER EVER sign up to be an Organ Donor after seeing my sister tortured

    (((hugs))) I'm so sorry.


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    Default Re: I will NEVER EVER sign up to be an Organ Donor after seeing my sister tortured

    I really relate to this so much. This happened to my long term boyfriend who passed away just before I got into dancing. They don't disclose all they should. I recall using the term vultures also. It is just so sickening and the worst part was that no one understood because it's widely assumed to be a positive thing by the general public.

    I am really sorry what you are going through, I have no words or special comfort except that you aren't alone for feeling this way.

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    Default Re: I will NEVER EVER sign up to be an Organ Donor after seeing my sister tortured

    Sorry for your loss Sam38G.

    That being said, I still am listed as a donor b/c I don't have a problem with anything that entails.

    The body is a vessel and most definitely aging and unexpected traumatic injuries can really disillusion everyone.

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    Default Re: I will NEVER EVER sign up to be an Organ Donor after seeing my sister tortured

    It is a choice & if you know all that it entails and don't have any issues with it. I think that is fantastic. We were told very little, it is a long process and felt lied to or mislead every step of the way. Considering my sisters state of health before the brain hemmoraging that did extensive brain damage was not very good. She had only 25% use of her heart and Type 1 diabetes for over 2 decades.

    Her body was worn out and very few and turns out no organs were useable accept her liver and they found no matches for it. They could have run the test & search the several days she was on life support to begin with instead of taking even more time. It felt like a money grab. By the time she was finally able to pass her face was unrecognizable. We had to watch her become disformed hour by hour. And those Vultures did not care, just a few more hours we were being told all the time.

    If it is your wish to be an organ donor, then please let your family know what to expect so they won't be blind sided like mine was. And if my sister had know that what was going to happen, I don't think she would have signed up to it.

    I had to throw a fit for them to treat this any kind of consideration.

    We had doctors telling us for days that she was gone & to let her go. My BIL didn't want to, and finally when he relented. ARora sweeps in and goes... on NO.
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    Default Re: I will NEVER EVER sign up to be an Organ Donor after seeing my sister tortured

    ^^^ This was my feeling too. If she had willingly signed up for this, and was truly aware of the process that is called making an informed decision about ones body.

    However, in my experience once someone is hospitalized and a "candidate" ie: there has to be some amount of brain death (at least this is my understanding from my old partners situation)
    Arora (we call it Hope program in Canada) gets notified and do a sort of "sales pitch" about WHY family should consent (in my case and in your sisters case it seems this is what happened: they hadn't personally signed up )

    They do keep you in the dark about so many things.

    Vultures is exactly how I described them also. I sympathize with your trauma. I know a lot of people didn't understand and thought I was being selfish but you are right to be angry and traumatized. If you need anything you can DM me at any time.

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    Default Re: I will NEVER EVER sign up to be an Organ Donor after seeing my sister tortured

    Quote Originally Posted by Raven88 View Post
    ^^^ This was my feeling too. If she had willingly signed up for this, and was truly aware of the process that is called making an informed decision about ones body.

    However, in my experience once someone is hospitalized and a "candidate" ie: there has to be some amount of brain death (at least this is my understanding from my old partners situation)
    Arora (we call it Hope program in Canada) gets notified and do a sort of "sales pitch" about WHY family should consent (in my case and in your sisters case it seems this is what happened: they hadn't personally signed up )

    They do keep you in the dark about so many things.

    Vultures is exactly how I described them also. I sympathize with your trauma. I know a lot of people didn't understand and thought I was being selfish but you are right to be angry and traumatized. If you need anything you can DM me at any time.
    I went to their website, no information about the process at all. It just focuses on those who lived from the donations & a few things myths around the subject. Absolutely no information about what the donor & their family with go through. We are busy dealing with the lose & no hope of them waking up, then they sweep in and try to exploit it. So much to process, details of their lives to deal with on top of it. Like taking care of their pets, perhaps kids, money out of pocket from being at the hospital 24/7. No one ask, can you afford a hotel room to stay near by. If anyone needs food, just offered water from the tap & coffee.

    My heart goes out to you and wish we both didn't have this same experience. Thanks for sharing so that I know that I am not alone in this.
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    Default Re: I will NEVER EVER sign up to be an Organ Donor after seeing my sister tortured

    Quote Originally Posted by Sam38g View Post
    I went to their website, no information about the process at all. It just focuses on those who lived from the donations & a few things myths around the subject. Absolutely no information about what the donor & their family with go through. We are busy dealing with the lose & no hope of them waking up, then they sweep in and try to exploit it. So much to process, details of their lives to deal with on top of it. Like taking care of their pets, perhaps kids, money out of pocket from being at the hospital 24/7. No one ask, can you afford a hotel room to stay near by. If anyone needs food, just offered water from the tap & coffee.

    My heart goes out to you and wish we both didn't have this same experience. Thanks for sharing so that I know that I am not alone in this.
    The anger dissipates after awhile, it really does.. I hope you feel better soon. Grief is truly a bitch and this on top of everything is just too much.. I hate these vultures.

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    Default Re: I will NEVER EVER sign up to be an Organ Donor after seeing my sister tortured

    I'm so sorry for the loss of your sister.

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    Default Re: I will NEVER EVER sign up to be an Organ Donor after seeing my sister tortured

    Sam : I am so sorry . I can not imagine going through this.

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    Default Re: I will NEVER EVER sign up to be an Organ Donor after seeing my sister tortured

    Sam, I am so sorry for your loss, and that you had to witness your sister going through such torture during her final moments of life.

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    Default Re: I will NEVER EVER sign up to be an Organ Donor after seeing my sister tortured

    Sam sorry for your loss.
    xoxo

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    Default Re: I will NEVER EVER sign up to be an Organ Donor after seeing my sister tortured

    So sorry for your loss sam, I hope your pain eases with time.

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    Default Re: I will NEVER EVER sign up to be an Organ Donor after seeing my sister tortured

    Sam, sorry for your loss.

    I've heard a recent story of the process of getting organs to waiting people and the transportation mess ups along the way, like airlines simply 'leaving a package sitting'. People waiting for an organ, being surgically prepped and waiting only to learn that the organ was lost or 'timed out'. Many of the workers along the way are volunteers, not coordinating... Sad for all involved. We can do better.

    Again, Sam sorry you had to go through a horrible experience for what should have been a noble bequeath.
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    Default Re: I will NEVER EVER sign up to be an Organ Donor after seeing my sister tortured

    I am so sorry for your loss. That must have been unbearable to witness when it is someone close to you ! They definitely do not disclose enough to people.

    I've heard enough about being an organ donor and took myself off the list years ago.
    Last edited by indiegirl; 10-09-2022 at 12:05 AM.

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    Default Re: I will NEVER EVER sign up to be an Organ Donor after seeing my sister tortured

    OMG that sounds horrible and heartless of them to act like that-I'm so sorry for your loss.






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    Default Re: I will NEVER EVER sign up to be an Organ Donor after seeing my sister tortured

    I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for informing us. I had no idea they actually come to the room and make a "pitch" - that is horrible.
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    Default Re: I will NEVER EVER sign up to be an Organ Donor after seeing my sister tortured

    Quote Originally Posted by indiegirl View Post
    I am so sorry for your loss. That must have been unbearable to witness when it is someone close to you ! They definitely do not disclose enough to people.

    I've heard enough about being an organ donor and took myself off the list years ago.
    Sam, I'm so sorry for your intense loss.
    That's a horrifying thing you and your sister went through.

    How do I take myself off of the list?
    Thanks in advance.
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    Default Re: I will NEVER EVER sign up to be an Organ Donor after seeing my sister tortured

    Quote Originally Posted by Dreamqueen View Post
    Sam, I'm so sorry for your intense loss.
    That's a horrifying thing you and your sister went through.

    How do I take myself off of the list?
    Thanks in advance.
    I think it has to do with your driver's license and whether or not you had agreed to be a donor on there. Plus let your loved ones know so if anything happens they will know how you felt about it.
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    Default Re: I will NEVER EVER sign up to be an Organ Donor after seeing my sister tortured

    Quote Originally Posted by Sam38g View Post
    I think it has to do with your driver's license and whether or not you had agreed to be a donor on there. Plus let your loved ones know so if anything happens they will know how you felt about it.
    I Canada, opting out of the this on your driver's licence has no bearing. My partner who passed away many years ago now had opted out. They still came to the ICU and gave a "pitch" as to why organ donation was such a "great idea"

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