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Thread: You know you are a Stripper when.....

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    Veteran Member anklefrog's Avatar
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    Default You know you are a Stripper when.....

    OK, ladies and gents. I thought this would be a fun thread to start. I'll go first

    You know you are a Stripper when........

    1) You are in a public place, and a guy calls out your stage name, as you start to respond you realize he's not even talking to you.

    2) You start to think of your future purchases in lap dances. Example: it's gonna take 5 lap dances for me to buy this new bracelet

    Come on guys, start thinking. Let's see how funny, realistic or whatever this can get!
    It's better to be looked over, than overlooked.


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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    You buy scented hand sanitizer in bulk, and you use it on more than your hands.

    You buy baby wipes in bulk, and you dont have any kids.

    OH LOL, what the hell, your probably a stripper when you buy the following items in bulk: body spray, scented lotion, make up, and thongs...and you try to write them off on your taxes!

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    Veteran Member anklefrog's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    Here's another

    You have to touch up your nail polish on your toes every 1-2 days b/c it chips from being on stage.
    It's better to be looked over, than overlooked.

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    ....when you go out with 'regular' friends and feel the need to censor yourself on the dancefloor.

    ....when you go out in public and catch strange people pointing you out as if you're a minor celebrity.

    ....you have two separate sections of your wardrobe and makeup - one for your 'regular' self and one for your 'stripper' self.

    ....every pair of shoes you own has some sort of high heel.

    ....12pm is a REALLY early hour to wake up.

    ....6am is a normal hour to go to bed.

    ....your concept of 'tomorrow' is far different from that of everyone else you know.

    ....your pet has glitter in its fur.

    ....you speak of retirement at an age when most other people are just getting revved in their careers.

    ....your body creaks more than your grandmother's.

    ....you drop $100 on cheap plastic shoes without batting an eye, but scoff at paying more than $25 for a decent pair of leather shoes.

    ....your selection of costumes, high heels and makeup competes with that of a drag queen.

    ....drag queens ask you where you got your _____, when you're just walking down the sidewalk.

    ....you can walk into any crowd in any situation and command the attention of everyone present.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    You know you are a stripper when...
    you unconsciously start swiveling your hips while either standing in line at the grocery store or hanging out at a "regular" bar.

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    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    ... you go out to a restaurant and bitch at the guy who took you to tip the waitress, the barmaid and the busboy !

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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    LOL Melonie, that is so true! My friends all think I'm nuts cuz I tip well everywhere we go. I'm always adding a couple extra bucks to the pile when we're paying for a combined tab, and when I go on dates I just can't help doing that watching-without-really-watching move when he signs the bill to make sure he's adequately tipping the waiter!

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    When a cute guy tries the pickup line
    " don't I know you?"
    and you immediately think he must be a customer.


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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    Hey, did you get these from Letterman?

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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    You know you are a stripper when ....

    When the check out guy hands you your change from the groceries and you try to take it in between your breasts by squeezing them together with your hands!!!
    "If we do not push the limits of our dance, it's not an art, it's just historical re-enactment"


    www.rajadance.com

    www.myspace.com/rajadance






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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    you think nothing of buying something for fifty dollars and paying for it all in ones


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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    you get dressed and undressed while not removing your shoes ( even at home).


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    When you walk in a store with money wrapped around your finger.

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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    "Breakfast" takes place BEFORE you go to sleep.


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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....


    You don't own any porn, but you've met more porn stars than most people can imagine.



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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    How about this one

    When you try to casually see how much a guy is taking out of the ATM, no matter what ATM it is.

    You don't take offense to hearing "nice tits"

    You actually wear more underwear at work than outside of work

    You have to "think" when you introduce yourself

    You have to make an effort to remember to move the top half of your body when you go out dancing





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    Featured Member TiNi's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    When you go shopping with a load of dollar bills

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    Veteran Member anklefrog's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    That is so true, Emily. I've "forgotten" my name before when I'm asked.



    It's better to be looked over, than overlooked.

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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    LMAO! Thanks for the laughs ladies. I can see how those things would happen.
    When the man says, "I do," it is the happiest day of her life.-Al Bundy

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    Featured Member Prester_John's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    When you go shopping with a load of dollar bills
    I’ve done that many times (I am a bartender for those who do not know). I quite often get weird looks when I peel off 40 one dollar bills tp pay for something. At the post office once I paid 27 dollars in ones, and the Postal Person asked me suspiciously "Why do you have so many ones?" I told her I was a bartender, then she said "Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight".


    It was amusing.

    PJ

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    Pamela
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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    When you go to an office party and want to take your clothes off for money!

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    Featured Member Prester_John's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    When you go ta an office party and want to take your clothes off for money!
    Pamela, you don't get this urge while shopping at OfficeMax, do you?

  32. #23
    Pamela
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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    Lol PJ,
    If i crash an OfficeMax party i may, it's now like instinct, gotta get it out of my blood!
    Party = Pamela stripping!!

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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    when your boyfriend has no desire to go to a strip club because you run around at home wearing cute little outfits and he gets the most mind blowing (or load blowing) lap "dance" at home!


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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    You know you are a Stripper when you are standing in you birthday suit with a spotlight on you and money all around the stage and people clapping and you ask yourself “how did I get here”?
    This is like saying "you know you are a teacher when you are teaching kids...." or "you know you are a plumber when you are fixing toilets"

    Anyway, it's just the way the job is. In every job there are people who find it and then there are the jobs that find them.

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