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Thread: You know you are a Stripper when.....

  1. #26
    Featured Member Devastating Divyne's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    .......................you go to the bank and u get a teller with a bad attitude or who looks you up and down and says something smart right b/4 u get up to her line and instead of giving her your big bills for your deposit like you had planned and keeping the ones you pull out the wad of ones that you were saving to cash in the next night and give em all to her to fuck with her and make her work harder for being bitchy.
    ...................you dig in ur purse for something and see the mandatory black tback in a plastic bag which is ur just in case u decide 2 work at a moment's notice tback
    ............................you refuse to answer cat calls and finger wags on the street, but at work a finger wag can get u to do a u-turn in a second w/u thinking yea, yea more dances more dances
    ............................your friends all come to you when the need to borrow some sparkly accesory like rhinestone bracelets, chokers, necklaces, etc.
    ............................you have mini versions of every regular sized product in the world in ur purse at any given moment
    ............................u'll pay $150 bucks for a dance outfit, but will fuss at the girl at express for forgetting ur 15% platinum card tuesday discount on a $30 shirt.
    ...........................if u haven't been dancing long, u still have that container of baby oil in ur bathroom that you used to wear b/4 u found out that baby oil was pure evil
    ..........................u have a business card collection from all the clients at work in ur glove compartment or that place in the back of ur seat that u never use and planned on throwing out the window while driving home, but u just never got around to throwing them away.
    ...........................u get pissed off when Perkins does not open at 6am promptly b/c u have been out there waiting since 5:50 and getting antsy
    "Come what may although I often say realities come from dreams, but approach all lies with open eyes because NOthing in this world is EVER ALL it seems."

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    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    ...you know all of the restaurants in your town that are open at 3am.

    ...when walking through a nice restaurant you find yourself accidently automatically giving business men that "come hither" look, and occasionally have to stop yourself from going up to thier table.




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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    These are all so great!! I love the one about the pet with glitter in its fur...and also about having a "normal" closet vs "stripper" closet.

    All very good ladies! More more more!!

    MissB

  6. #29
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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    Havong just started dancing last week, I am acutely aware of this stuff, especially the $80 worth of $1's thing!!

    1. You have to put tatoo makeup on your vertebrae, shins, and knees to go out.

    2. You get pissed off at your day job because obnoxious guys talk to you and you're thinking that they should be paying you to endure their conversation.

    3. I bought pink sparkly lip gloss for the first time in my LIFE this week.

    4. a "C cup" no longer seems impressive.

    5. While having a "blockbuster night" on your night off, you lie on the floor in front of the TV and practice backwards sommersaults and leg extensions.

    6. you think about how nice it is to see your dog when you get home because she NEVER thinks you're a whore.

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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    lol, your dog never thinks you're a whore, lol Alexis, I know exactly what you mean

    Divyne,
    How is baby oil evil? I use it in the shower to shave, is this wrong?

    ...When you overreact to a cut, bruise or blemish.

  8. #31
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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    You know you're a stripper when through your flirting and other tactics you make your clients go up to their credit limit then stash all your cash in a cookie jar, without depositing it nor reporting it.

  9. #32
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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    LOFL. I love all of these. I am an ex-bouncer (MANY years ago) and a friend to many wonderful entertainers and bartenders I have known and still love all through the years since.

    ... When you can tell the difference between a friend who comes to the club or a customer by how they treat you when they run into you in public. A friend will let you decide if the people around you would be cool with you saying hello.

    ...When you have plenty of dollar bills but not a single quarter to make a call with.

    ...When a man who brings chocolate to the club can become one of your best friends (and all of you KNOW what I mean here)!

    ...When a man with manners can make your night a little better (sometimes a LOT better).

  10. #33
    Featured Member Devastating Divyne's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    How is baby oil evil? Let me count the ways. It leaves the pole gripless, the floor slick, and can literally send you flat on ur back with just one step. Go up after a newbie who is all oiled up and does floor work, and after the fifth time u bust ur ass trying to get up off the floor b/c u feel as soon as u got onstage u will understand. It seems like every newbie comes in with that baby oil gel and somebody always looks at her and says, put that down b/4 somebody tries to stab u with a stiletto. I have seem too many falls and bad accidents. I don't even use it in regular life anymore except when I give my ole boy massages.
    "Come what may although I often say realities come from dreams, but approach all lies with open eyes because NOthing in this world is EVER ALL it seems."

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  12. #34
    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    .

    ...When a man who brings chocolate to the club can become one of your best friends (and all of you KNOW what I mean here)!

    ...When a man with manners can make your night a little better (sometimes a LOT better).
    I don't get the chocolate one. And there's always someone with manners at the club. It really doesn't phase me unless by manners you mean "is generous".

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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....


    ...when you dream about doing polework.

    ...when you have to restrain yourself from trying out new pole tricks on the lightposts in the middle of a busy street.



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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    ....when you spend more on beauty products in one month than you used to spend on those items in a year.

    ....when your bustline continues to grow and you're well past the age of puberty.

    ....when you can tell at a glance if someone has a boob job.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    ......when you go from being "the girl in class with the big chest" to "the girl in the club with the small chest"

    You know you're a retired stripper when......you hear a song on the radio and say "I used to strip to that song!!"

  17. #38
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    ....you hear a good song on the radio and automatically start thinking of how you can work it on stage.

    ....you think of songs you like in terms of whether it will be a good early/late song or a good 'crowd' song.

    ....you hear a good song and wonder whether it's long enough to allow you to make the 'rounds' on stage before it ends.

    ....all your friends have college degrees and 'proper' jobs, but you always seem to have more money than them.

    ....when going out clubbing with friends, you are the only one who doesn't complain about the cover charge and drink prices - they're cheaper than what you're used to.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    ....when before you tried making your chest appear larger and now you try to conceal how big your chest is.
    ....when a quite night at home sounds better than going out.
    ....when your appearance seems to set precedent over your education.
    ....when you catch your self judging your self worth by your outward appearance.
    ....when men get intimidated at how independent you are.
    ....when family members as you for loans.

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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    LOFL @ Pixie! These are all SO true!

    You know you're a Stripper when...

    You own more T-Bars and G-Strings than regular underwear.

    Certain songs remind you specific clubs you've worked in.

    When out in public, you spot a fellow "incognito" dancer a MILE away!

    When you're long retired and the bills roll in, you constantly think, "Man... if I was just about 5 or 6 years younger."




  21. #41
    Veteran Member hollyday's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    your laying in bed with a guy and talking and you don't realize that your playing with your tits!!!
    blessed be

  22. #42
    Senior Member Hershey's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    Lol those are pretty funny and true in some way for me!

    U know u're a stripper when ....

    ....U listen to music at home and u either fantanized or dance in living room to impress the dancing moves.
    ....U go to a store looking to buy clothing, u tends to flirt or ask a male salesperson what he thinks.
    ....waiting in line patiencly, your mind strays off to music and dancing. U dont realize that youre dancing in public!
    ....Customers calls out to your stage name and u respond and talk to him without realizing u're not in club when u got your friends or family with u.


    Hershey

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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    ...when your friends ask you to go out dancing and you think, "does this mean I have to put on makeup??"

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  26. #44
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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    You have your cookie jar full of cash, plenty of bank accounts and investments yet have the balls to say you're struggling to pay the bills.

    When you date guys with more income than you simply because you think that way you'll be able to avoid "insecure" men (ego trip).

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    Veteran Member anklefrog's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    So true Deja-Voodoo! I'm alsways complaining that I'm broke. But broke to me is when my checking acct. dips below a certain level!
    It's better to be looked over, than overlooked.

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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    ....when you have a hard time buying the concept of any shoe with a less than 4" heel being "sexy".
    ....you cheerfully browse through Frederick's of Hollywood and Victoria's Secret catalogs in public.
    ....you can spot a fellow dancer by her nails and the familiar "stilletto limp" (that wobble that comes after a long night on the job when you're not used to walking in flat shoes yet)
    ...you feel your waitress' pain.
    ...your vacation plans center around amateur nights and clubs you just *have* to check out.
    "Just 'cause she dances go-go, that don't make her a 'ho, no.....called up my Mama, said 'I'm in love with this stripper yo.'"
    -Wyclef Jean

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  31. #47
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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    plain and simple....you take your kid (or a kid) to the park, and practice pole work on the swingset or jungle-gym. Great stares from the fathers, and even better from their wives!

  32. #48
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    I mortified my mother by trying a trick on a square post at the local 'upscale' shopping center. It didn't work all that well, since the damned thing was square and too thick to grip effectively.

    She was cool about it, but I could tell she would have preferred it if I had restrained my impulse. No big deal, though. Hey, she raised a rebel, and she knows it, LOL.

    Signposts or streetlight poles work much better, and as long as they are not too slippery, can be utilized with great effect. Unimaginative passers-by are inclined to be put off by the sight, much like the parents at the park, or worse. But thats another story.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

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  34. #49
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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    Deja Voodoo (Carlos) - those of us who save our money don't say we struggle to pay the bills. The ones who say that are the ones who spend all their money on drugs after sucking too much cock that night! LOL Seriously, I think you're taking those little bits way out of context and putting them together when it's just not true.

    Second, it's not an ego trip to prefer dating men with incomes at least as high as our own - just like it's not an ego trip for men who prefer women with incomes lower than their own. The men may not openly say it, but they show it in their actions. Further, that female choice has nothing to do with being a stripper - it has to do with being a WOMAN. Most women don't want to deal with men who have ego problems and have issues with a woman who makes more money than them. It's a common problem for couples where the woman earns more than the man - the man starts to feel insecure and like 'less of a man' and the woman starts to feel bad because she knows her success bothers her man. Comes from that long-standing idea that the man is supposed to be the main provider and breadwinner. Why wouldn't we want to avoid that issue and potential problem????

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Default Re: You know you are a Stripper when.....

    Yeah, Bridgette....I thought the same thing. The original comment was made by someone that thinks they know dancers but really have no clue. A lot of dancers are really broke because they don't have bank accounts in the first place! It's hard to save without one. Cash is just too tempting for too many people, including dancers. I guess there's this idea that if you make good money that you have have a lot of money saved. Not true in any job.

    And even before I started dancing, I was making pretty good money and it was always a problem for guys that made less.

    There are a lot of generalizations made about dancers and their money. Most of which are not true.


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