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Thread: Bit of a Sticky Wicket, Eh Wot?

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    Featured Member Lilith's Avatar
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    Default Bit of a Sticky Wicket, Eh Wot?

    I have a small "office politics" situation. Nothing too dire, but I would appreciate some words of wisdom.

    Last Thursday, we had a "dancer meeting" at the end of the shift with the manager officiating. The meeting was concerning some unrelated drama, but during the exchange one gal commented that, while she refused to name names, we all need to stop having conversations with the customers when someone else is already sitting there. She said that a quick thank-you for tipping the stage is fine, but that talking to them makes the dancer already sitting there feel like an ass.

    I agree with this sentiment, however, the dancer to whom she was referring was ME. Allow me to explain, as violating the "one pair of tits to a table" is something I don't do.

    Let's call the customer "Jeff". Jeff gave me a handsome tip during my first stage set. I thanked him as soon as I got off the stage and told him that I would return for more conversation just as soon as I had finished thanking the other tippers. He responded with "Looking forward to it. Hurry back." I thanked my other tippers but then saw that our resident Hustle Honey was working on Jeff. No worries, Hustle Honey is known so because she doesn't waste time getting those dances; I sent him a wink and sat with someone else when he winked back, knowing that she would move on quickly if she didn't get her dances.

    I kept an eye on Jeff and, true to form, Hustle Honey moved on by the end of the song. I concluded my business with the customer I was then entertaining (young guy, enjoyed the company but didn't want the dance, just gave me a five for the talk). While Young Guy was tipping me the five, another dancer (we'll call her Hot Chick) sat down with Jeff. And then she settled in.

    *groan*

    Fast forward about 45 minutes and Hot Chick was still sitting there. I'm due back on stage, and Jeff again tips me heavily. Once I get off stage, I go to Jeff and make the hand motion to Hot Chick indicating I'm just thanking him. Then I whisper in his ear, "I do apologize, I'm really not trying to ignore you, but it's considered rude for me to sit when you are already occupied with another dancer. I don't wish to interrupt. I promise I'll be back as soon as you're through here. Thanks so much for the tip, it was very generous."

    Jeff said that he understood and I left. It was another thirty minutes before Hot Chick finally left the table, at which point in time I joined him. His first words were "I finally got rid of her!" He then said that he had had his eye on me from the moment I took the stage, and proceeded to lavish compliments upon me. We had a small conversation (three minutes, tops) and then he asked me for dances.


    Hot Chick was the one who made the remarks during the meeting about the rudeness of talking to an occupied customer. I think she feels that I stole "her" customer. While I suppose that I could inform her that she was, in fact, blocking him from talking to me and that he was trying to get rid of her, that seems awful mean. True, but mean.

    Any suggestions?

    He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

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    Featured Member MeganS's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bit of a Sticky Wicket, Eh Wot?

    I personally think you should just excuse the whole situation, but if you feel the need to explain, just tell her he had asked you previously to join him, and every time you got a chance, he was already occupied. If she's really all that upset about it, well, there's nothing you can do. Sometimes the most absurd drama is brought out of piddly shit.
    "A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you."
    Francoise Sagan

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    Default Re: Bit of a Sticky Wicket, Eh Wot?

    Lilith I know you do a really good stage show. I think Jeff voted for you when he
    left hot chick, walked to the stage, gave you a tip and then sat back down.

    Alot of guys don't know how to get rid of a dancer... and I am one of them.
    However I am a bit more callous than others. I've been known to get up and go to the mens
    room and then go to another area of a club... another reason why I like large clubs with
    more than one stage, level and area. As a customer you can get "lost" when
    you want to.
    This is why I hate it when a doorman keeps insisting that he showed and
    "assigned" me to a table and why do I keep moving? Or the cocktail waitress
    who is assigned to an area and is mad when I leave. (Never open a credit card tab unless I have planted the flag at a table and am going to stay there.)

    Hot chick may have poor social cue skills. Or she is a supersalewoman who won't take no for an answer. If I'm trying to get together with you, and hot chick won't leave me, in
    pure desperation I have been known to walk out of the club. walk around the corner and then come back in 15 minutes later.

    So you are doing the right thing... but you also need a very determined customer to get rid
    of hot chick... and that may not happen very ofter does it?

    Also your sale technique of thanking each customer who tips you on stage should
    be standard operating at your club for each dancer. I'll bet you are one of the few dancers
    who thanks each guy who tips right? The stage tip is the guy saying he wants to meet
    with you. Your stage dance is your ad. Hot chick continuing to sit there
    is not getting the message, or maybe is controling a guy who is trying to get away from her.

    I think management knows all of this... but you can present your case that any guy who tips you is going to get a thankyou from you. The clueless person is hot chick.

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    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bit of a Sticky Wicket, Eh Wot?

    Yes, convince the club to institute a rule that NO dancers are allowed to hit on or sit with the guys while they are stageside. In most clubs, dancer etiquette says that when a particular girl is onstage that she is entitled to ALL of the attention of the stageside customers. If this rule were in effect, all you would have to have said to "Jeff" was to stay right where he was sitting stageside when he tipped you, until you finished your set on stage and came to 'collect' him.

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    Featured Member Lilith's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bit of a Sticky Wicket, Eh Wot?

    "Sometimes the most absurd drama is brought out of piddly shit."

    Word. Wordy McWordword.

    It's not my typical reaction to be overly concerned with the opinions of the other dancers. I'm there to work, not to make life-long bosom buddies. However, I'm new there. Whereas in my old club this would have been dismissed based upon my reputation, the gals at this club do not have the luxury of knowing me well enough to understand that I meant no harm. From their perspective, I'm new and thus perhaps a skanky bitch without common courtesy.

    I want to avoid the drama. I've considered ignoring it, but I would like to know what to say if necessary. Hot Chick was peeved enough to mention it during the meeting (the incident in question was not relevant to the meeting, but she brought it up anyways and therefore is/was probably pretty ticked). There is a chance she is still peeved enough to talk about it with other dancers, and this time she may mention names. IF this should happen, what should I say that would not embarrass Hot Chick?

    Just want to be prepared for the eventuality.
    He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

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    Featured Member Lilith's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bit of a Sticky Wicket, Eh Wot?

    Wow, we all posted simultaneously.

    Melonie, he wasn't seated stageside. He was sitting along the rail above the stage area. Both times he left the upper "walk-around" to come down to stage level and tip me.
    He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

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    God/dess Malibu's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bit of a Sticky Wicket, Eh Wot?

    In a way, it may have been a good thing that Hot Chick was as stubborn to move. You may not have got the extra tip and as he was getting more desperate for you, he may have made it up with more lapdances than he probably initially intended to give.

    I know - all Hot Chicks of the world are pains in the ass - but at least try and look on the bright side of the situation!
    You are the envy
    of all parallel lines that
    dream of curves and convergence
    - Sara Bailey: Sieve of Words

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    Default Re: Bit of a Sticky Wicket, Eh Wot?

    I had this problem quite a bit when I worked reguarly in the florida clubs,most girls new I had been there six years and I had tons of regulars,but I would always wait until the other girl left who was trying to get a dance from him,even thoough he was there to see me and had been doing so for 5 years,another time a girl was sitting at a table with two business men,she was there an awful long time and there wasnt many guys in the club,as soon as I walked by he almost fell out of his chair checking me out,well he bought her a drink,I went on stage ,same as your guy,he came up and tipped me generously,then stood there,for like 2 minutes,so at this point,Iam certain he wants to get rid of her,leaving her at the table ,so I got off stage and said thank you in his ear and Im said,I will be back latter ,when you are free,well she continued to sit there,like 4 songs total now,so she left to go on stage,I still did not go over until he motioned me,I did and he goes lets just go to the back for a dance,he didnt even want ne to sit,well after she gets off stage she runs and tells the manager,I stole her customer,give me a break,didnt she get the hint 4 songs,no dance,2 minutes standing at the stage after tipping meand running right back with me as soon as she gets up,well we had a new manager and she came over from his club,I worked her 5 years before they even get there,he calls me in the office and says what I did was wrong and at his old club it doesnt work that way,Iam like ok this is not your old club and Iam not some new girl,I have been here 5 years and NOONE IS ANYONES CUSTOMER,period,even sometimes my regulars got dances with other girls and Iam nice enought to let the other girls move on before I interupt,well I wouldnt woorry about it lilth,she is obviously jealous because she ast there so long ,like my situation and the guy danced with you,I dont feel it would be rude to point this out to her,say well he was waiting for me and for sometime,I dont think that would be wrong for you to do,I think it was wrong what she said,girls have to realize,if the guy doesnt dance after 10 minutes or so,come back latter,its rude for them to hold them up from other girls,so either dont say anything,but know you did nothing wrong,I get sick of girls who act like they OWN customers,if they wanted that they would just stay home,with thier wives.

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    Veteran Member Naomi_Tx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bit of a Sticky Wicket, Eh Wot?

    Exact same situation happened to me a few weeks ago, in dressingroom, overheard bitch complaining because I went over while she was on stage and afterwards he gave her the fuck off. Later she approached me and said, "that was rude what you did."

    I smiled and said, "I know." and walked away.

    I apologize when I'm wrong; but when I'm not, I'm confident enough not to have to explain myself, and capable enough to deal with any results.

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    Default Re: Bit of a Sticky Wicket, Eh Wot?

    Part of the problem is each club and area of the country is a bit different on physical layout inside the club. I am used to kind of what Lilith is describing. Tables away from the stage areas and "pervert row", wherein many customers have to get up and walk to a runway area or side of the stage to tip and then return to their table quite a distance away.
    Unless real busy, dancers don't tend to sit immediately by main stage, although they do on the two side stages which aren't in use all the time.
    I hate it when as a customer I am assigned to a table and area.

    Could be in your new club they aren't used to guys walking up and tipping for a stage show?

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    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bit of a Sticky Wicket, Eh Wot?

    Again, this kind of incident falls into the realm of stupid things that happen due to too much reliance on people obeying "unwritten rules". I can only imagine how many customers walk out of a club more frustrated than happy, or the earnings a dancer loses over the course of a year because of such miscommunication.

    Newbie dancers and customers to a particular club or the stripper scene in general are NOT going to pick these cues up by osmosis.

    Unwritten rules suck. Write them down where everyone can read them or abolish them. We'd probably all have a lot less stress if we did.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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    God/dess montythegeek's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bit of a Sticky Wicket, Eh Wot?

    Hot chick is just jealous because she wasted 45 minutes.

    If I were the customer I would have made it apparent by saying loudly "well you are finally here"

    I always wondered why dancers hung around so long when they weren't getting anywhere. They are trying to p$ss someone else off.

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    Veteran Member Happy_Camper's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bit of a Sticky Wicket, Eh Wot?

    I always tell anyone joining me that I am waiting for my ATF. They are welcome to sit and talk, but I have told my ATF to join me no matter what. Now there are nights when the ATF isn't there and it is usually the ladies that invested time before that will get my money that night.
    Quote Originally Posted by Chuck
    Remember HC, "NO" only means "NO" when she says it..... LMAO

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    Veteran Member Rayleen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bit of a Sticky Wicket, Eh Wot?

    She is trying to bully you. I say let her stew in her own envy juices. She's ticked that you got dances from the guy and she didn't. You sound like you were more than polite to me.

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