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Thread: Management Lessons

  1. #1
    Featured Member Devastating Divyne's Avatar
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    Default Management Lessons


    Lesson Number One
    **************************
    A crow was sitting in a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

    Management Lesson? To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.


    Lesson Number Two
    **************************
    A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients. The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

    Management Lesson? Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.



    Lesson Number Three
    ****************************
    A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, promptly dug him out and ate him.

    Management Lesson? 1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy. 2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend. 3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

    Here endeth your management course.

    "Come what may although I often say realities come from dreams, but approach all lies with open eyes because NOthing in this world is EVER ALL it seems."

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    Default Re: Management Lessons

    That was cute.

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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: Management Lessons

    ha ha, I printed them out, I'll take them to the manager tonight
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Veteran Member shedevil4260's Avatar
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    Default Re: Management Lessons

    If only my manager could learn from this! He went through the same situation last night. Maybe some day he'll learn his lesson and catch on!!
    Lips, Hips, and Sugary Tits

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    Default Re: Management Lessons

    Here's another one. The heart was talking to the lungs saying, "If it weren't for me all the rest of the organs would starve." To which the lungs replied "Well if it wasn't for me all the organs would suffocate." The ass overheard the two and interjected " Hey, if I close up then all of you will die of your own poisons".
    The moral of the story? In order to be boss you've got to be an asshole.

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