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Thread: Self Defense and Personal Safety Question?

  1. #1
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    Default Self Defense and Personal Safety Question?

    I teach self defense and personal safety/awareness seminars as part of my job. I have recently been asked to put together a lecture for a local club. This will be a lecture only with no “hands on” instruction. Hopefully if this goes well a self defense course will follow.

    The reason I am making this post (my first here) is to inquire about specific safety issues for Dancers. Situations that may be of concern due specifically to the job. Both within the club or outside. Maybe some personal experience stories. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

    Thanks.

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    Veteran Member Naomi_Tx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Self Defense and Personal Safety Question?

    My father taught me how to tell if I'm being followed when I was 17-years-old, before I even knew how to drive. I believe that, given club security, being followed home is the most common and dangerous threat a stripper faces.

    If you're ever suspicious of a car behind you never try to speed up and loose them, it's not gonna happen. Slow down to a ridiculously slow speed and see what happens. If they're legit they simply go around without hesitation. Let's say you're on a highway that has a speed limit of 55 MPH, without breaking slow down to 40-45 MPH, If they remain behind you at the same distance and remain at your ridiculously slow speed than somethings up.

    Anyway, that's one of the things my daddy taught me, right after how to loose a cop and pass a polygraph. Good 'ole daddy, shady as hell; but I love him.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: Self Defense and Personal Safety Question?

    I worry about being robbed, but what I do is carry everything of value on my body and everything else in a purse (like phone, lipstick, etc). I stick in my panties and I always hold my keys in my hand. There is never more than $20 in my wallet.

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    Default Re: Self Defense and Personal Safety Question?

    i would think the next step would be pull into a wawa or something or nah? i mean with cell phones i know you can make a call yo police if necessary but the person can always deny it and find u later when ur back on the road... any suggestions?

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    Default Re: Self Defense and Personal Safety Question?

    My friend the dancer (who has now stopped dancing) used a whole series of items, mostly mis direction... much like you probably do when NOT giving out your real telephone number for credit card purchases, so tele marketer databases get confused and can't find you.

    In a 1 1/2 years of danincing she was followed home once, by an attorney who was married and who's wife was expecting a baby. He was very persistant and basically waited
    off property near the freeway ramp. Otherwise the bouncers would have chased him off.
    Until he knew her car, he missed her a few times.
    She leased a car from an auto dealer. The advantage of this is that running the plate
    always traces back to the dealer as owner not the lessee. Unless you have heavy connections or LE the dealer does not release the name and address of the
    person on the lease. She changed leased cars, plates and car colors every four months...
    which really confuses guys looking for certain types of cars to follow a dancer in.

    She gave out a cell phone number to guys that traces numbers in, and has
    a non personalized voice mail greeting. When I met her she was too lenient in giving out her real name. So I created a fake real name for her to give out to guys, after they heard her stage name, which I heard her use a few times. She and I also drilled her in a
    fake "real" cover story, after which she never varied from the fake "real" story.
    This included the wrong suburb, in the wrong direction from the club on the wrong freeway, worng home state, and wrong home city.

    For awhile she gave out a yahoo e mail address for some guys... but after awhile
    stopped monitoring it.

    She gave out phony addresses if pressed saying that she didn't want people to visit her.
    She gave out that she had a real job in sales administration in an industry
    she worked in.. Gave a distributer name not the actual manufacturer where she worked.

    When she talked of her family in Tennessee, she always used Knoxville because it
    was the wrong city. It was another city in another state but she had lived in Tennessee so she could talk about it.

    She was divorced and used her married name instead of the maiden name. Her legal name had reverted to her maiden name in the divorce settlement but alot of women
    continue to use their old ID.

    She never told anybody at her real job or real life, she was dancing, and one other (out of club) girlfirend knew.

    She woudl either try to come in early and leave at "first cut" (2 a.m.) rather than
    3 a.m. bar time. She always attrtacted attention near bar close from the drunks
    and they would tend to follow her outside. At 2 a.m. you just sort of
    scoot on out and it is a more graceful exit as the late night guys are coming in.
    A dancer who they haven't seen dance dressed in sweatshirts atracts very little attention from guys. Dancers try it sometime.
    She always requested a manager to take her down the back side stairs to a firedoor
    exit leading directly to the valet parking. Enamored guys would be waiting for her
    at the front door where they had observed other dancers leave... not knowing the
    place had about four exits at different grade levels with the parking lot.

    She always tipped the bouncers to escort her out.
    This club actually started the cars of the dancers and had them running near the exit
    door selected. Once the car came up you could be underway and going in about four seconds.

    No dancer could leave drunk and had to "blow" into the alchohol rating device.
    Dancers had to pay out their house fees, check the next week schedule, and get an actual
    physical release ticket from the manager before they could leave. (Also this club
    would loan dancers tip outs for bad nights, and allowed costume fittings and purchases on
    credit. They only carried you (on credit) for only so long, so your credit account was checked for payment before they let you leave.)

    The security would then check the alcohol test and if they were legal the
    valet would be handed the keys. Never heard of a cop hassling a dancer as
    none of them could leave drunk from this place.

    If a guy was standing waiting outside for a dancer or in a car he was asked to leave.
    To be honest the only problems I saw were at bar time or real late. At 3 a.m. dancers were held inside for the test and paperwork tipout anyway, so most customers would be gone.

    The other trick was to stay past closing. On busy nights with 40 dancers the
    book work and check out procedure can take awhile. Any customer hanging in the
    parking lot a half hour after close was chased away by security. The parking lot was owned by the club.

    Before going to VIP with a guy she insisted on him buying her a drink and talking
    at a table on the floor or near the VIP lounge bar. She was sizing him up and
    she would try to figure out what he wanted and if he was trouble or not.
    If he wouldn't buy her a drink she said something like, "Welll I'm sorry you couldn't buy me a drink so we could get to know each other better. I'd better go now."

    There were a fair amount of places to hide out in this club and still make money, and avoid the guy who had flunked the screening test. Interior security was very good, but the VIP area and rooms were semi private with portholes for bouncers to view in. Her screening of the guy worked so she never had a problem. The only guy she ever had a problem with was me, and I apologized and bought her champagne. After three bottles of champagne, we were both drunk, but I treated her with great deferance after that cause she gave me a second chance.

    My advice would be don't drink three bottles of champagne with a customer
    unless there is a large plant to pour it into. Since it was Dom Perigon, she
    couldn't bring herself to pour it into the plant... (and neither could I when
    she was in the bathroom) so we both got horribly drunk with each other.
    We still laugh about that. I was trying to be extra nice, and she was trying not to
    annoy a customer buying her very good champagne.
    I would suggest not to drink heavily if you are a dancer. She had to stay afterward and I had to take a taxi to the hotel.

    "If they can't see you or find you, they can't hurt you." Her words not mine.

    Having good club security, and good parking lot security is key. Adding some
    mis direction to your routine never hurts either.











  6. #6
    Member jillianiowa's Avatar
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    Default Re: Self Defense and Personal Safety Question?

    I have to agree with the issue of people following me in my car being the biggest issue for myself. I have been dancing for three years and have had it happen three times. Once was directly from the club, luckfully the sherrifs station was up the road so I went there. The other two times were when a customer recognized me in my private life and proceeded to follow me home and I conviently ran into him the next day when I was out. I let him see me write his plates down and start to use my cell phone. Ultimatly, I had to trade in my car for something that would blend in and I moved. Girls, always..always be aware of your surroundings and trust your instincts

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    Default Re: Self Defense and Personal Safety Question?

    Niceguy, what club was this?

    JustinCase, most issues occur when walking out to the car - girls should know NEVER to stop and talk to anybody, and to check under their car and in the back seats before getting in. I have had people hide under my car. Being followed also happens quite frequently.

    Other issues occur in private or semi-private Champagne/VIP rooms where some customers get out of hand. The primary goal in this situation is usually to get a bouncer.

    Occasionally girls are grabbed on stage or when walking through the room. Again, bouncers should deal with this but usually they don't see it.

    Lena



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    Default Re: Self Defense and Personal Safety Question?

    You should always be escorted to your car. If you think you are being followed. Drive to the nearest police station and see if they remain. If you're on the street, duck into the nearest business. If you think you're followed on the street walk across the street and see if they follow. If they do, walk towards other people. Before you enter your car , check the back seat.
    The key is always be aware and on guard.

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    Default Re: Self Defense and Personal Safety Question?

    I concentrated my remarks on physical self defense. Someokne should also address the
    mental self defense from the 5% of customers that insult dancers and are just in the
    club to degrade them. While it just part of the business, this is hard on new
    dancers. A string of assholes like this could really ruin everybodys night,
    even experienced dancers. I think mental defenses are part of physical
    self defense and should be included in this discussion.


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    Default Re: Self Defense and Personal Safety Question?

    I've been told by other experienced dancers that travel, that if you think you can fight a man than your not scared enough. They say your best bet is to run or try to get away rather than defending youself by fighting or using a gun. Although I still think we all should get lessons in self defense in case you ever have that 30% chance of getting away.
    Lips, Hips, and Sugary Tits

  11. #11
    Pamela
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    Default Re: Self Defense and Personal Safety Question?

    I was taught, (well maybe not, this just became one of my best self defense tips.)
    ALWAYS be aware of your surroundings, no matter where you are at. Even home! Never know who could be knocking at your door when you are alone for example. And i have dogs! I still am very aware.

    Car, no problem, doors lock, and the car becomes MY weapon if someone tries to jump on it or get in after me.

    Public places, i keep myself public. I will not enter a "mall" rest room alone. EVER. (One example.)

    Sooo many tips, and safety in numbers, even with strange women/people.

    Aside from staying public, if someone really wants too get their way, they will, usually with a gun. Then i shut my mouth and i will pray for all involved. (think robbery in a public place.)


    Pamela

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