Results 1 to 14 of 14

Thread: EX SEX???

  1. #1
    Veteran Member soybeangirl's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2003
    Location
    down south
    Posts
    542
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default EX SEX???

    HELP ME! Had Ex sex this weekend and now I'm feeling the worst anxiety EVER. I can't even breathe really. Here is the story...

    I was at his house watching a game and I fell asleep so he got online and was doing whatever. Anyway I woke up and saw hime looking at an internet dating site. He had a profile and everything. It almost made me puke it hurt my feelings sobad. Shouldn't I get "special treatment" since I am there or should I just expect his life to go on regardless of my presence? I FEEL HORRIBLE ABOUT THIS. what to do??

    I didn't tell him what I saw but rather brought up something that I knew would make him jealous. It worked but I don't feel better. Should I tell him it hurt me or just let it go?

    I missed you girls this weekend. I was in boston. Went to Fantasies in Providence, RI. It was fun. Very nice, girls were hotties! If anyone works there, let me know!!

    [cry] [frustrated]

  2. #2
    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2003
    Location
    SoCal
    Posts
    7,772
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 40 Times in 35 Posts

    Default Re: EX SEX???

    ? Was he looking at the site right after you guys had sex? HOW RUDE!! Well, if he's your ex he's gonna be looking at the market. If you want to get back together with him, you should let him know. If you don't, sleeping with him is not very healthy.... BREATHE... tee hee
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  3. #3
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Gettin the fuck outta Dodge!
    Posts
    14,241
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: EX SEX???

    I never understood why people break up and continue to be 'friends' in the first place. IMO, if you don't want to be with someone anymore, there's no reason to keep hanging out with them. I think that's the cause of WAY too many 'ex sex' cases. I agree with Bella, if you don't want to get back together with him, sex is definitely not a good idea. EVEN still, if you're not officially back together, sex is not a good idea, because it opens the door for him to just use you for that.

    Anyway, no more preaching I wouldn't continue to hang out with the guy if I were you. If you want to get back together with him, you should let him know, but otherwise, just move on with your life. If you're not together anymore, he has every right to look for new people, so do you. Granted, it would be a bit rude for him to be browsing dating sites with you there, but what you wrote, apparently he wasn't trying to do it in FRONT of you - he thought you didn't know. Anyway, I think your anxiety may be coming mainly from your own awareness that you shouldn't have had sex with him. Go easy on yourself, we all screw up sometimes! Just don't let the same thing happen again, and open up to dating other people. Hope you feel better!

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  4. #4
    Pamela
    Guest

    Default Re: EX SEX???

    Bridgette excellent advice!!!!!!

    I could have used them words of wisdom a few months ago. And i will print this post you wrote for my future as well. I slept with my ex, and tried to stay friends. NO WAY.

    No more. I sure needed to read that post!

    Please soybeangirl, if you can, it will save a lot of heartache in the future, if in fact something does not feel right.

    Pamela

  5. #5
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Gettin the fuck outta Dodge!
    Posts
    14,241
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: EX SEX???

    Oh Pam I've done it too - learned the hard way. I was never 'friends' with an ex, but did sleep with one years ago, thinking I still loved him, wanted to be with him, etc. Found out he just wanted to bang me, and was really hurt. Needless to say I didn't make that mistake again! The 'friends' thing I just never understood at all. There's a saying they have here in PR, roughly translated from spanish means: Once you throw away a used pair of shoes, you don't take them from the trash to wear again.

    Just go shopping!

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  6. #6
    Veteran Member soybeangirl's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2003
    Location
    down south
    Posts
    542
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: EX SEX???

    Thanks girls. I am really really stressed about this. I am hoping that since he lives so far away that I will eventually just forget him. I will not be seeing him again, that's for sure. Thanks for the support!


  7. #7
    Veteran Member xmarx52's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2003
    Location
    one foot in the grave...
    Posts
    644
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: EX SEX???

    If everyone who had Ex sex was damned then hell would be overflowing. LOL I have done it myself darling, but you need to understand something about men.

    Sex to a man can be nothing more than this. FRICTION. I am serious. Something rubs and creates friction which makes them cum. It is not about emotion sometimes, and you should know that, you work with men every day. FRICTION....

    For your ex he may have thought, oh sure I will have sex and that was it, it did not mean you were back together in his mind perhaps.

    And always remember the Xmarx52 first rule of divorce and exe's.

    If it did not work the first time, what the hell makes you think anything has changed and it will work the second time?

    Hugs from the Xman

    Anyone with a memory should be very humble.

  8. #8
    Pamela
    Guest

    Default Re: EX SEX???

    My gosh, I guess i can learn alot from this thread too soybeangirl! Excellent advice, AGAIN! I will stick too it, and i hope you do well too soybeangirl!!
    Kugz,
    Pamela

  9. #9
    Banned
    Joined
    May 2003
    Location
    CA.
    Posts
    929
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: EX SEX???

    If he is your ex then why are you still seeing him?
    Are things really over between the two of you? You'd better decide that now or start patching things up. If it is over then he has all the right in the world to start over. Why are you trying to agitate him? Why aren't you starting over? Sounds like you've got issues you still haven't cleared up.

  10. #10
    Veteran Member soybeangirl's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2003
    Location
    down south
    Posts
    542
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: EX SEX???

    Oh of course I have issues. I can't really say that I want to "patch" things up but we are pretty close still. He drops the occasional "love you" but we live so far apart that we couldn't even date if we wanted to. I think that a lot of our passive/aggressive behavior comes from doing just enough to keep one another "hanging on". It's not fair but it eases the tension. It's not healthy either, I know. I date other people but the ex is ever-present in my mind. I just need some strength to let it go.

    I'm not trying to agitate him. We are still friends who see one another 2 times a year and I just thought it inconciderate to look at a dating website while I was there. Remember, I am venting on this forum, not bitching at or to him.

  11. #11
    Banned
    Joined
    May 2003
    Location
    CA.
    Posts
    929
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: EX SEX???

    Soy, keeping a long distance relationship is a difficult thing to do. Relationships usually mean being close ,in distance and in mind. Each of you should keep your options open. There's always a possibility that you will grow apart or meet with someone you are compatible to. Neither should restrain the others growth. If you're concerned for each other you must let go now and then. Parents hate it when their children leave but they know they must forge a life for themselves. They take relief in the knowledge that if they've taught them well , they'll always return to them.
    In my relationship, we have the freedom to see who we want, be with who we want. Watching shows like "Blind Date" just makes me glad I don't have to go through that bullshit anymore. It just makes me feel better that I have what I have.

  12. #12
    Senior Member awboy's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    94
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: EX SEX???

    I'm in the minority here, and this may be considered a typical guy response, but I don't see the problem with having ex sex as long as both parties know that is all that it is. If the sex was really good and neither of you is involved with someone else then why not, as long as both parties can remain somewhat emotionally unattached. If one person is still kinda involved in the past relationship then sex is a bad idea. If you're both over the relationship and the guy is just looking for some FRICTION - as xmarx puts it - and the girl is looking for good sex then why not.

  13. #13
    God/dess Zofia's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Durham, North Carolina
    Posts
    2,417
    Thanks
    2,964
    Thanked 2,370 Times in 934 Posts

    Default Re: EX SEX???

    Sex is sex, relationships are relationships, but guys will never understand how girls get the two all mixed into one. Needless to say, been there, done that got the bruises to show for it. Soy, mark it up to a guy, being a guy and put some distance between you and him.

  14. #14
    Veteran Member soybeangirl's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2003
    Location
    down south
    Posts
    542
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: EX SEX???

    Good advice you guys. It's getting easier day-by-day to just excuse it as a learning experience and move on.

    THANKS!!

Similar Threads

  1. Fun Posts About Trading for SEX, yes SEX
    By threlayer in forum Member Boards
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 10-05-2008, 07:48 PM
  2. Replies: 27
    Last Post: 11-19-2007, 08:37 PM
  3. Replies: 25
    Last Post: 05-26-2007, 01:10 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •