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Thread: to tell or not to tell

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    Curious Guest violette's Avatar
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    Default to tell or not to tell

    Hello beautiful people I am a brand new member and I love this. This is my first time starting a topic and I am looking forward to feedback I am 33, with child, and recently divorced. I met someone recently who has made me feel so beautiful and special, yet he doesn't know what I do to make a living and I truly do not want to spoil anything. Part of me believes I should tell him out of respect for the honesty we both deserve if this really goes somewhere. The other part is a little voice that says "don't screw this up" ?????????????? ???

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    Featured Member Juliette_deSade's Avatar
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    Default Re: to tell or not to tell

    Part of you???
    Be honest with him. He will find out eventually. Tell him now while it is still early so that can be the first thing for him to digest. You are your job to a certain degree. Better that he understand you now than later. Be the smart super stripper you know you are.

    Juliette de Sade
    The Texas Pin-up Stripteuse!

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    Default Re: to tell or not to tell

    Part of me believes I should tell him out of respect for the honesty we both deserve if this really goes somewhere.
    Listen to that part of yourself. The longer you keep it a secret, the harder it will be to come clean, and the more betrayed he will feel. If he can't accept you because of your job, then he's not worth your time, unless you would quit for him. If he really thinks you are beautiful and special, then he should be accepting, and his views of you shouldn't change.

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    Featured Member MeganS's Avatar
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    Default Re: to tell or not to tell

    You'll only really screw it up if you don't be honest right off the bat and tell him what you do. And you shouldn't be ashamed of how you make your living.
    "A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you."
    Francoise Sagan

  5. #5
    Pamela
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    Default Re: to tell or not to tell

    That seems to be a tough call. Always for alot of girls who have written on this board. I lost a bf because of my sex jobs, now i will be looking for a guy who understands, it's only my job. I LOVE him.

    I can't tell you to tell or not. But.....i wish you both luck and happiness with what ever path you two take....together!

    Pamela

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    Default Re: to tell or not to tell

    Violet, what is it you do for a living? I suspect you're a stripper. The first order of a committed relationship is HONESTY. Another part of relationships is forgiveness.
    If you intend to spend a good part of your life together with this person do you intend to keep secrets thoughout? Would you want him to keep secrets from you? For a relationship to work you also have to incorporate forgiveness. Until you reveal the truth about yourself to him you will never know the power of this trait. You will also know what it takes to keep such a relationship. Without honesty your partner does not know the real YOU he has fallen in love with. Can you settle for that?

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    Veteran Member xmarx52's Avatar
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    Default Re: to tell or not to tell

    OK here is my 2 cents...

    Do not hide anything from him but also there is no reason to scream it out the first time you are alone together. Go on a date or two, get to him better and let him get to know you. If you still feel strongly then tell him. Or if he asks, FOR SURE tell him the truth.

    In other words don't be untruthful but I don't see a reason to hit him over the head with it before he even knows anything about you as a person. Understand I am not saying to wait till you are both head over heels, just give him a chance to know you first or for him to ask what you do for a living.
    Anyone with a memory should be very humble.

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    Veteran Member NYCjacqueline's Avatar
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    Default Re: to tell or not to tell

    I agree with xmarx -
    I have a friend who I worked with who once told me that she does not tell the guy she dates & actually held a 1.5 year relationship not telling one particular guy she dated. By keeping it from him, it only causes stress, and the longer you hold it from him, the harder it will be to tell him.
    There is no shame in your job - you are not doing anything illegal - there is only a generally negative social stigma attached to it....and because of it, it makes us all think twice about who we should tell/not tell.
    "You have no idea what a long-legged gal can do without doing anything." -Claudette Colbert

  9. #9
    Ravin
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    Default Re: to tell or not to tell

    I have always been a strong advocate of honesty is the best policy.

    Your job and your relationship are both major aspects of you life. If you tell him what you do for a living and he really does love you, everything will work out for the better.

    Definately tell him as soon as possible, less problems that way.

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    Default Re: to tell or not to tell

    Tell him!! Dancing is a part of you and has molded you into who you are. If you are not honest with him now, he will always think you are a liar. If he breaks it off because of your job, he was not the right man to begin with.

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    Curious Guest violette's Avatar
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    Default Re: to tell or not to tell

    Thank you for all your advise ladies, it's what i needed to hear. I think I knew all along, I just needed to hear the voice of reason from someone else. Love all of you.

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