How many of us here have ever had some of the abusive things happen while working in a stripclub?





How many of us here have ever had some of the abusive things happen while working in a stripclub?





Not me, tho I've seen it. All participants usually seem to be willing tho :-(
Lena
and this includes other dancers, right? They can be the most hostile!





I hadn't thought about other dancers specificaly but why not- they contribute to the enviroment. One question for Lena- willing partisipants- can you explain further what you meant.....
Verbal yes, Had a customer call me a stuck up bitch to my face because i would NOT give him a lap dance.
Physical yes, When i started dancing a man grabbed me to try and stick fingers in me. I danced nude, and was new to ld's. Guess that could be sexual abuse too. He did not get far. Only up my thigh inside to try and spread my leg open. I yelled NO loud. he was history. And from then on, i really had a hard time, and hated ld's. I became a stage dancer.
Towards the end of club dancing, i did a few ld's. Hated them. But the guys where nice, so i do private dances now nude. and topless only
Pamela
hmm how should I say this. I've had many dancers grabbing me. Should it be sexual abuse?
Rarely I've had customers grabbing my ass when Im standing talking to another customer or to another dancer. He would pretend to bump me and cop a feel. Bastards!!! That's definietly sexual harrassment. I've wanted to know if dancers could actually press charge for sexual harrassment ?? People probably would laugh at our face because we work in nude/topless where men would be touching us. Of course there's law and rules in the city ordiance with the touching/stick his dirty fingers in us.
I dont recall being verbal abused by anyone however I've had this guy who was so drunk pulled my hair and I was like oooowww! and grabbed his hand off me. Damn his drunk ass!
Hershey





Oh, well now that I rethink it I have been verbally abused and threatened by other dancers, and physically assaulted by customers. I was just thinking of the question in terms of club management/owners/employees.
By willing participant I mean that they are not willing to do anything to extricate themselves from an abusive situation. They are completely paralyzed at the thought of leaving this club and this abusive manager for one of the other hundred and fifty two clubs in town. Or they know it bothers them that the manager always feel them up, but they don't want to say anything, etc.
It is very rare in this business that a girl is abused by management and has no options but to take the abuse (except, I suppose, in cities where all the managers are abusive, but thankfully I haven't come across that yet).
Lena
i never have...
Well strangely enough I've never been verbally abused by customers, girls, or management. I guess because I take off as soon as I get the feeling that someone is a prick.
As for sexual abuse, yeah. I think we've all sat in some dorks lap only to have his hand immediately slide up to rest on a butt cheek. It's annoying, but I don't get all freaked out because it is a common hazard of the job. I mostly just hop right up and scoot on over to the next table. It's pretty pointless to verbally berate an idiot for this behavior, they really won't get it. They think since we're strippers it's allowed. And for the most part the next girl will often allow it. Might as well not scare off her money.
Another case of the sexual harassment... Once I sat at a table, immediately his hand slides up my leg and towards my crotch. I hop up in an instant to walk away, that's when he grabs me by the arm saying "Where are you going?"
I shake his arm off, "I don't sit with people like you," and start walking away when he grabs hold of my dress to pull me back. And that's the closest to physical abuse I've experienced.



I am curious, (aren't I always?). Has anyone of the ladies who have been touched in an unwanted manner, every had a customer who when he was told that it was not welcome, turned around and given a sincere apology for his behavior?
Or are the guys who try this stuff just rude and think they have done nothing wrong?
Anyone with a memory should be very humble.





Good question Xmarx.
I am sure there are some that apologize but it never happened to me.





Not meaning to throw a wrench into a particularly sensitive topic, but if I may...
The problems with the above poll is that the options are too simplistic and too broadly defined (although I know our options on polls are relatively limited).
So let me quote Tigerlilly's original question.
Notice the word "ever". This means that regardless of whether you've danced for two customers or two million, if you encountered so much as ONE person that have done one the aforementioned practices, you have to check that corresponding box, do you not?How many of us here have ever had some of the abusive things happen while working in a stripclub?
Think of each customer you dance for as the roll of two dice. Each time you roll snake eyes, thats an abusive customer. (For the record, the odds of rolling a '2' with two dice are 1 in 36 or about 2.78%). The odds of getting a two after a few rolls aren't very good, but after hundreds of rolls, seeing a few of them is almost a certainty.
The longer that you've danced, the more probability that you've encountered one of the forms of abuse stated in the poll. With that simple a question, I'd expect the 'yes' rate to all three questions to be at least 50%, with verbal and physical abuse probably nearing 100%.
A better question would be to segregate the three categories of abuse into separate questions and for EACH of them ask for the percentage of customers that you have dealt with over the span of your dancing career that have done this to you.
I think that would paint a far clearer picture of what we're trying to get at here than simply asking 'have you' or 'have you not'. I know a number of non-dancer women personally who could check all three of those boxes several times over.
Former SCJ now in rehab.
Wow - i'd love to work in a club where none of those things happened to me! I had to check all three - because though I DO NOT put up with any of those things, they have happened - but all it takes is once and the guy gets a really big mean bouncer to bounce his ass out the door!
But I must mention that you forgot one other form of abuse - mental. It's probably the most prevalent kind of abuse in a stripclub. Some customers will just mentally try to torment you in so many ways if they feel that they have the upper hand if they have the $$. This usually comes from a customer that becomes a regular -
Jax
"You have no idea what a long-legged gal can do without doing anything." -Claudette Colbert



I think you got it there! I think alcohol has a lot to do with their bad behavior.Or are the guys who try this stuff just rude and think they have done nothing wrong?





Excellant points Jax ! You too Dr. Cat !But I must mention that you forgot one other form of abuse - mental. It's probably the most prevalent kind of abuse in a stripclub. Some customers will just mentally try to torment you in so many ways if they feel that they have the upper hand if they have the $$. This usually comes from a customer that becomes a regular -
Jax
To be frank my point was to show a particular person (and others who think similarly) that these abuses do actually happen to most dancers at some point. I thought seeing that it has happened to dancers here who he interacts with, maybe he wouldn't find it so laughable, as he put it.
Maybe my purpose was tainted, but it really ticked me off to see serious things that have happened to me like stalking and attempted rape be called laughable especially when I know things have happened to others here too.



How does Mental abuse differ from Verbal abuse?
But I must mention that you forgot one other form of abuse - mental. This usually comes from a customer that becomes a regular -
Jax
Or are you talking about stuff like when a guy puts the money on the table and wants a girl to pick it up with the privates, etc? That to me always seemed like nothing more than an impotent guy trying to make himself feel powerful. Very very weird if you ask me.
Anyone with a memory should be very humble.
Yes xmarx Mental can be done in many forms. Verbal is of course language. But mental......can ba a simple as wanting a dancer degrade herself by putting money at his feet for her to pick up. It's control. Mental abuse slides by some people every day.
It is the hardest form to figure out. But happens in strip clubs. Men either want to play with your mind for money, or call it vindictive. I'll take verbal any day over mental abuse.
Mental abuse there never has to be a word, or for one to be touched.
Pamela
Yep, all three at some point. Not so much anymore thank God. How anyone could consider this laughable is beyond belief. I guess i missed that post
As quoted by Luckyone:
I asked directions from a genie in a bottle of jim beam and she lied to me.
Methodus saved my life!





Or how about when they put a tip on the stage and dancer goes over to get it and he takes it back or plays like he is going to -ugh!But mental......can ba a simple as wanting a dancer degrade herself by putting money at his feet for her to pick up. It's control.
I'll take verbal any day over mental abuse.
Pamela
Or when a customer who you've been sitting with and is acting extreemly interested but keeps saying they get a dance in a little while and never does.
I was differnt than Pam- mental stuff didn't bother me near as much. What happened to me most was being called names when refusing contact/sex/dates - what upset me most was those who didn't understand the word NO and tried to force contact.
I have never had an apology. I try to tell the other girls which guy (or gal) did it though [clap]I am curious, (aren't I always?). Has anyone of the ladies who have been touched in an unwanted manner, every had a customer who when he was told that it was not welcome, turned around and given a sincere apology for his behavior?
Or are the guys who try this stuff just rude and think they have done nothing wrong?
It takes both rain and sunshine to make a rainbow.........
Usually the type of guy who has so little respect for the women that he just dives in poking and grabbing completely lacks the mental capacity of knowing his advances are unwelcome. A demand for an apology would likely result in some boneheaded statement like "But you're a stripper." If they understood that we are people they would not have acted like that in the first place.I am curious, (aren't I always?). Has anyone of the ladies who have been touched in an unwanted manner, every had a customer who when he was told that it was not welcome, turned around and given a sincere apology for his behavior?
Or are the guys who try this stuff just rude and think they have done nothing wrong?
Unfortunately all of the above.
Many crotches have been ripped into by my high heel. I had no shame, because isn't that self defense????All of my managers have been gracious enough to defend me. They tell the men "Well, you asked for it." And they did. The pricks? Well I spend a few minutes to make them feel stupid before moving on. If they yank my hair, I yank back. Tit for tat.
Poo.
Juliette de Sade
The Texas Pin-up Stripteuse!
Mental abuse is quite different than verbal (though sometimes it can include both)
How does Mental abuse differ from Verbal abuse?
Or are you talking about stuff like when a guy puts the money on the table and wants a girl to pick it up with the privates, etc?
Here's an example:
We have a particular customer in our club that is a regular - he particularly likes the girls who do not want to be around him because he is such a nuisance and won't give up on the "dating" thing - not to mention a myriad of other abnormal characteristics that drive the girls crazy (that's another story in itself). I don't like him at all - it is just not worth the $150 that I get to go to the lounge with him - even though it's a mere 50 minutes...he is just annoying and mentally torments you the whole time. As of about a year now, I completely ignore him when he comes into the club. About 6 months ago, he was quite pissed that I ignored him. He had the champagne hostess call over 2 girls that he also takes to the lounge to sit with him - he sat there with them and the girls later told me that he just bad-mouthed me the whole time - though he had nothing concrete to say - then, after over an hour of drinks, stories, and promises to take them to the lounge,( he always go to the lounge) he disappeared and left them at the table, feigning a bathroom break. I was called to stage and in the middle of my set I was told that a customer had bought me a bottle upstairs. Who else? YUP! Not only did he annoy and torment me for that next hour, but he had those girls sit there and lose out on an hour's worth of dances with the idea that he was going to tip them and take them upstairs. He knew I would say know if the he told the hostess to send me over, and he knew I'd say know if he asked me upstairs - so he just handed in the card & booked it before I had a chance to say yes or know, and without the decency of telling the girls why he reneged on his "promise" and wasting their time. Is this mental abuse? Yes. Especially when he pulls stunts like this all the time.
That's just one example of mental abuse - and it happens in so many ways, almost every night....especially on the slow ones!
Jax![]()
"You have no idea what a long-legged gal can do without doing anything." -Claudette Colbert
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