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Thread: Need Advice......

  1. #1
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    Default Need Advice......

    Okay, this is my situation, a few weeks ago a regular customer tried to stick his finger inside the edge of my g-string. We were sitting down next to each other and he had his hand on my knee, all of a sudden, he slid his hand down the inside of my leg and that's when he tried and I stopped him. He then told me he would pay me X amount if I let him go down on me. I immediately walked away and told my manager, who said he would tell the owner what happened. Well, apparently he never did because the same customer was back in a few weeks later. I then told my manager I was leaving and that I didn't want to work again until I talked to corporate about it. I just talked to the owner today and he told me it was my fault that it ever happened because I should never have let this guy get that close to me and that my contract was cancelled because they don't want girls like me working for them and maybe I could come back in a few years after I grow up a bit. I am not sure what is going on anymore. Are they right? Is this really my fault and should I be getting fired for this? It was bad enough when it happed and now it seems like everybody is sticking up for this guy because they are all friends with him and he is a multi-millionaire. Any advice or criticism is welcome. I am really starting to think I am responsible.

    Also, how are the clubs in New Orleans......I am not used to grinding(it's not allowed at the only club I've worked at) and also which ones are the best?


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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need Advice......

    Mangers will likely take the side of the customers, especially if he is a regular that spends money. It's sad, but they think of us as replacable, and if you're not one of their favorites, they have no problem losing you. I think the fact that you made such a big stink over something that happens a lot (we've all been there), it makes you seem like you can't really handle the business. How long have you been dancing anyway?

    In the future, if a customer gropes you in appropriately or asks you for extras, handle it the best you can on your own. You don't have to interact with him. I know this isn't what you want to hear or how the business should work, but I think it's the best way to handle yourself (why waste time on a guy you don't like?) and you don't annoy your manager who probably has more important (to him) problems to deal with.


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    Default Re: Need Advice......

    Thank you. I have been dancing for seven months, not that long. I really have had my eyes opened to alot of things I didn't realize about the business. It sucks but you are very right.

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    Default Re: Need Advice......

    Shea, the best way of learning is as you said by experience.

    Many clubs outwardly don't allow sexual conduct in the club for obvious reasons but as Sgt. Schultz say in Hogans Heroes, I see nothing, I say nothing.

    I would try to contain the customers myself in the future by smiling and slapping his hand and saying, "Bad Boy, you can't do that in here". Don't act mean about it but in a catty way try to contain the guy. He's just testing you as all guys want as much as they can get away with.

    The club is covering their ass and using you as an example to the public that they run a clean ship.

    Do other girls allow sex acts during dances there and mgmt turns their back to them?

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    Default Re: Need Advice......

    I know that the manager I dealt with has caught a lot of girls doing things that are considered against the rules, but only scolds them and doesn't fire them. And yes, since he has become a manager, a lot of things have changed as far as the type of girls they hire and the things they do, especially in the VIP.

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    Default Re: Need Advice......

    what club do you work in, it would help me to acess the situation.

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    Default Re: Need Advice......


    It is never your fault when somebody gropes you without permission. In fact, in many places that's considered assault.

    But, the facts are that it is simpler and more prosperous for them to get rid of you than to get rid of a regular customer with money. Just more thing to hate about this business.

    It's worked best for me to just let it known in a quiet way that I am a clean girl and a good hustler. If I have any problems with a customer I just refuse to spend time with or even acknowledge that customer - unless he outright assaults me, then the club owner has to boot him or I leave (and that's happened).

    Lena



  8. #8
    Pamela
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    Default Re: Need Advice......

    Damn right like all said. You try to stick your fingers inside me, you better get the hell away from me....NOW.

    I don't need a customers money that much. If management does nothing, you can...Avoid. It's not worth your health, safety and job. Not to mention ILLEGAL.

    Damn guys like that.....Take it to a friggin escort.
    Pamela

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Need Advice......

    Shea:
    1. No it is not your "fault", but this shows you that in our biz, like in all biz, money talks. Emily said managers think of us as replaceable. That is true. What is also true is that we ARE easily replaceable. At least in this area, the ratios are crazy now, in my opinion.

    2. In my opinion, it is foolish to react to that kind of a customer with the emotions displayed here (assault, illegal, etc...) The guy's in a titty bar, and is looking for some fun. Treat him just like you would train any dog--tell him calmly, but firmly, "No". No exclamation point, no running to the boss, just let him know YOU are the boss, and that it starts and stops right there.

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    Default Re: Need Advice......

    This kind of stuff so irks me. All too many managers/owners/bouncers will say that just about any customer problem is the dancers fault. I used to hear them tell dancers who had customers who refused to pay for dances already given "well you should collect up front" which just wasn't the norm in any club in the area. Or when I got my t-back yanked down I was told the same thing as Shea- ticked me off too because it happened when I was facing away from a customer in an air dance club.
    HOWEVER- not all club managers /owners/bouncers operate like that, some are extremely supportive. My advice is find a new club- you should be able to feel safe at work or at the very least be able to expect your support staff to come to your aid and/or back you up when you need them. I would rather make $250 and have a good work environment than $400 and have no one in my corner.
    I say find a better work environment, you deserve it.



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    Default Re: Need Advice......

    so the mans a richie rich eh...the club is going to side with him because he goes there and blows all of his money. sad but true.

    i think youre lucky to have been fired, sounds like the club gives zero shit about you and you can do better. remember that.

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    Default Re: Need Advice......

    Heck NO it's not your fault! You did exactly the correct thing. The only thing is that management was in bed with this millionaire. If it were me I'd fight it basicly on principle whether I lost or not. Fired status does no one any good or at least report it to a labor bureau.
    Just chalk it up to experience then find a more respectable employer.

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    Default Re: Need Advice......

    I know that the manager I dealt with has caught a lot of girls doing things that are considered against the rules, but only scolds them and doesn't fire them. And yes, since he has become a manager, a lot of things have changed as far as the type of girls they hire and the things they do, especially in the VIP.

    Shea, i hate to say this, but these facts clearly indicate that the manager and the club realize that girls breaking the law/rules draws in extra customers and convinces them to spend more money. You're not talking about one or two dancers, you're talking about the majority of dancers in your club breaking the rules/law by the sound of things. This means more cover charges at the door and higher tipouts/private dance splits for the club. If the club hasn't done anything about this so far, it's a pretty clear indication that club management knows what's required to continue earning a profit at this club and has resolved themselves to letting it happen or actually encouraging it (by choice of new dancers etc.). After all they really don't have anything to lose since the manager can plead complete surprise when the dancers are eventually busted - " I had NO IDEA what was going on in those VIP rooms, officer!".

    You're simply the latest victim of the escalating 'sleaze factor"which many dancers and clubs are experiencing in order to maintain income levels in difficult economic times. Unfortunately, for you this creates a dilemma - keep on obeying the club rules and earn peanuts, break the rules like the other girls and continue to earn decent money (until you're busted at least), move on to a club in a different area where it's still possible to earn decent money without "sleaze" (if you don't mind driving 1-2 hours and if you can get past the audition in a non-sleaze upscale show club), or retire from dancing before the frustration wears you down.

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    Member Hexum69's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need Advice......

    Ya, that happend to my eX.. little did the guy know that we worked at the same club and i was the DJ working that night lol we never seen him again.. i know in vegas, you WILL NOT put your hands on a dancer or you will get your ass removed with the quickness if she feels the need to tell security, doorman, DJ, etc...
    You may not like me, you may not love me,but you will always remember me.....

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    Member Symone's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need Advice......

    Well Unfortunately there really is nothing you can do.Until all clubs are unionized we will all suffer.Find a club where you are comfortable at and settle.Or you can totally travel from club to club.That's fun too.Always bring a good friend though,so you both can escape together if necessary.And if a guy touches you again tell some of the other pro-E.D.'s .They might do you a favor and straighten him out.
    Symmy

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