Page 1 of 4 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 82

Thread: Legal Help!! A wife is suing me!

  1. #1
    Curious Guest
    Joined
    Apr 2003
    Posts
    3
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Legal Help!! A wife is suing me!

    Hello everyone. I am a long time lurker, but first time poster. I didn't want this question getting buried in the legal thread.
    I had a sugar daddy in 2001-2002. I never had sex with him, but he bought me several things, ie. a large screen t.v., washer and dryer., as well as many nights of buying me out of the club for the evening..about 30,000K in 3 months. His wife found out and she is now suing me. In Texas we don't have alienation of affection lawsuits, but we do have intentional afflection of mental distress. The wife has a horrible chronic illness. And there is absouletly no question that I made it worse.
    Crap!!I didn't know SHE was the one with all the money, and she has no problem with just keeping me tied up in court, and publicly exposing me and humiliating me. It is also going to affect my money badly, as my other sugar daddies are going to find out. Then they will begin to question my discreetness. She has made it perfectly clear that she will be alerting the papers, as they will eat up this lawsuit-especially in a mayoral election year.
    I thought I was more careful, but on many purchases, he wrote loan; so I can't defend it with the gift thing. And again, she will way out money me, and take GREAT pleasure in it. Evidently there is a group of women in Dallas that are going to try this route to run more of us out. AND she is going to tell my parents and friends that live in another state--and they know nothing about it!!!

    Can anybody help? I am sooo freaked out.

  2. #2
    Banned Melonie's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2002
    Location
    way south of the border
    Posts
    25,932
    Thanks
    612
    Thanked 10,563 Times in 4,646 Posts
    Blog Entries
    3
    My Mood
    Cynical

    Default Re: Legal Help!! A wife is suing me!

    seeing as how this will eventually come before a jury in a Texas court, my advice would be ...

    a) liquidate all of your assets, empty any bank accounts, and stick the cash in a home safe (or buy gold bars). If you own a car, sell it and lease one instead. If you own a home, sell it and rent an apartment instead. When the case gets serious, the first thing the wife's attorney will try to do is get a financial disclosure of how much you are "worth". Anything that shows up on that financial disclosure is fair game for a jury to award to the wife. Also, bank safety deposit boxes or post office boxes are not "safe", as the judge can order them to be opened as part of the financial disclosure.

    b) start making some accusations of your own in regard to the wife - i.e. that it was SHE who had the original problem and that it was SHE who drove her husband into your "arms". Publicity is a two edged sword. If you're going to be crucified in the local media you might as well make a regular circus out of it and force her to consider the fact that by pursuing this lawsuit she'll be exposing herself to some public lumps as well. Also, as you pointed out, the wife has many more resources than you do to conduct this 'battle' in the courts. Moving it to the media evens the odds, or actually could tilt them in your favor since newspapers and TV are much more likely to favor a hot looking chick than some middle-aged housewife. Ironically, you might even be able to get the opportunity to make some positive statements about exotic dancing in a public forum and dispel some of the 'hollywood stereotype' bullshit that dancers are prostitutes, thieves and drug abusers, which would also take a lot of wind out of the wife's sails in advance when she tries to convince the jury that her husband was 'seduced by a prostitute'.

    c) plan on moving to a different city after the case is over. The political anti-dance club fallout will probably put a major crimp on dance club activities in the short term at least.

  3. #3
    Curious Guest tabitha's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2003
    Location
    kansas
    Posts
    4
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Legal Help!! A wife is suing me!

    i have a question. how can some one sue you for gifts that were given to you?

  4. #4
    Veteran Member SexyBooty's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2003
    Location
    Sunrise
    Posts
    310
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Legal Help!! A wife is suing me!

    I think Melonies advice is great, it wasnt your fault that he wanted to spend the money on you. You should be more powerful than his wife.

    Good luck1
    Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy.

  5. #5
    Newbie amarc's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2003
    Location
    Connecticut
    Posts
    6
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Legal Help!! A wife is suing me!

    I think that much of the advice above is great. I do beleive that peple that threaten never do, and people that do never threaten. So it remains to be seen whether "the wife" actually goes forward with a circus that will undoubtedly make her look at vert best, quite bad.
    Here's some unsolicited legal advice (keep in mind that my practice is Ny and Connecticut based, and that Texas law varys).
    First of you all the wife must prevail in a trial against you. Yes you will have to defend yourself. However, my experience tells me that what sometimes starts off looking bleak, turns out to be something very different. SO don't push the panic button.
    If you are actually sued, and a judgement is rendered against you, the question is how would she collect. If you follow the very good advice from Melonie, you will have little in the way of assets to get at. Your stream of income is, I assume to a a large extent invisible. Unlike many salaried employees, she would not be able to execute a post judgement garnishment on your wages.
    Beyond that , the ultimate and most powerful weapon you have is bankruptcy. Now before you freak about that concept, hear me out. Your filing would instantly eliminate any judgement against you forever. If you do this and you own a home, you would in most states, never lose your home due to homestead exemptions. Therefor, don't think about liquidating until you speak with a bankruptcy lawyer. You would most likely keep your car and household furnishings( although the big screen tv might be at risk). Each state has laws that set forth the type of property and dollar vaue of same that is exempt from creditors, so you need to determine this before taking this step. There will be an impact on your credit, but ironically, it may not be as bad as you think. You can very easily rebuild your credit because you have a clean slate and can't re-file for 7 years. I have clients that we have counseled in this area and they bought homes for the first time , a year after filing, so it is not the end of the world.
    One last thing. Who cares what others think. Those that love you and know you, will love and care for you, no matter what. Nobody else counts.
    Best of luck

  6. #6
    Veteran Member Nichole's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    201
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Legal Help!! A wife is suing me!

    I don't have any advice for you, but just wanted to wish you luck. I'm sure it is hard to deal with and you should know we are thinking of you. Keep us posted.
    Visit http://www.midwestdancewear.com for a great selection and price for all your dancewear, lingerie, and shoe needs!

  7. #7
    Guest

    Default Re: Legal Help!! A wife is suing me!

    the law suit is ridicilous....he has a mind of his own, its not like you forced him to buy you stuff...

  8. #8
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    289
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Legal Help!! A wife is suing me!

    I would think it would be hard to prove you were trying to inflict mental distress on his wife. Perhaps a lawyer would be better able to give you advice.

  9. #9
    Veteran Member Nichole's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    201
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Legal Help!! A wife is suing me!

    Just a question. Did you know she was sick at the time? If you didn't, how can use that against you? What does the husband have to say about all this?
    Visit http://www.midwestdancewear.com for a great selection and price for all your dancewear, lingerie, and shoe needs!

  10. #10
    Pamela
    Guest

    Default Re: Legal Help!! A wife is suing me!

    One flaw with closing out accounts and all now, she has already filed, and all monies that were in the account before closing will be found out. A good lawyer will find out about bank accounts etc.
    And you can not blame another for what you have knowingly done, right or wrong. (she drove her husband to my arms). It was his choice. She was not the cause of this problem, the other woman is indeed a victim, and the courts will stand by her.

    That is why people should divorce first, problems like this.
    You will have to stand up and pay the price now being known pretty much as a kept woman.
    Like the others say, good luck. And he will have to step up, and take his share of the law suit. saying this, it's a big issue for him as her husband, you will just have your name drug threw mud, and hit some.
    Pamela

  11. #11
    God/dess Lena's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2002
    Location
    On a sweet muddy river.
    Posts
    6,399
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 78 Times in 43 Posts

    Default Re: Legal Help!! A wife is suing me!


    If she hasn't actually filed yet it might be pertinent to liquidate as much as possible.

    The relevant question seems to be, how would you have known that you were causing her anything? Or that she even existed? Maybe he told you he was single? Maybe you could sue him for the distress of finding out that he was married all this time? Maybe you could write a book about all of this and get rich...

    Lena



  12. #12
    Banned
    Joined
    Jan 2003
    Location
    B.C & USA
    Posts
    1,869
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Legal Help!! A wife is suing me!

    Wow I have never heard anything like this before...... I wish you much luck. Hopefully a court of law will see how ridiculous this is and dismiss the case.

  13. #13
    God/dess Bunny's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2003
    Posts
    2,495
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 36 Times in 30 Posts

    Default Re: Legal Help!! A wife is suing me!

    I recall seeing something on TV about a man who spent so much money on a stripper he never even had sex with but said he was "dating" that he ended up embezzling money. I don't believe anything happened to her at all. In fact, I think she made out quite well. The man had been married. Of course laws are intricate and each state is different. I'd consult with an attorney. I've had someone threaten to sue me and it is downright scary. However, lawyers love to threaten and scare the hell out of you.

  14. #14
    Banned Melonie's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2002
    Location
    way south of the border
    Posts
    25,932
    Thanks
    612
    Thanked 10,563 Times in 4,646 Posts
    Blog Entries
    3
    My Mood
    Cynical

    Default Re: Legal Help!! A wife is suing me!

    patricia, after thinking about this a bit, the wife may have opened a Pandora's box which you can in fact take advantage of financially. As long as the wife makes the first move in going to the media, you have grounds for a countersuit based on defamation of character. Such a countersuit would also help you defend yourself in the suit she will bring because it will further emphasize the point that you and most other dancers do not follow the "Hollywood Stereotype" of being a prostitute, thief and drug abuser.

    Amarc's advice that bankruptcy can be used to negate any judgement resulting from her suit is absolutely true. However, the very generous bankruptcy terms available in NY (keep your home, keep your car, keep most of your home furnishings) is not quite so generous in Texas. Think of bankruptcy is a last resort after all other efforts fail.

    I really think that the wife's suit has the potential of actually being a good thing for you careerwise, providing that you are not shy about publicity. This case is a natural for the Jenny Jones and similar shows. Ironically, if you play your cards smartly, you might wind up with enough free publicity to start featuring and earning lots more money than you ever could before the wife brought suit!

    Have you actually received court papers yet that a suit is being brought ? If not, get busy liquidating those assets! Even if you HAVE received court papers, it would be a wise idea to keep any future earnings in a home safe, and to let your bank balance drop as you pay legal fees (a judge can't claim that you deliberately hid money if you handed it over to your attorney and have the receipts to prove it!). As Amark and others implied, it's one thing to get a court judgement in the wife's favor but it's another thing entirely to actually collect the money from you. Money in a bank account is fair game for a court judgement, but money in a home safe doesn't "officially" exist

    Since you're in Dallas, you might want to talk with Everett at if you don't have an attorney already. This guy is an attorney and also a DJ on a local Dallas radio station. Might be the perfect guy to help you work the media angle in your favor.

  15. #15
    Pamela
    Guest

    Default Re: Legal Help!! A wife is suing me!

    I think the whole situation is getting out of hand. Just sit back and wait. It's really kinda silly (not for you). She will lose a shit load of money on lawyers fees, and probably divorce as well, and you will just have your name mentioned.
    Actually, it's her husband, not you. You are an innocent party here! How the hell do we know where money comes from when guys give it to us? Thats not the issue. His problem not yours.
    If they also have a joint account, he can do what he pleases with the damn money, she can't do crap! Threaten, thats about it. Sure any slick lawyer may want to take this, but she'll pay dearly to him, for what?
    Ok, shes sick, not your problem, you did not make her sick, how could you if you don't know..Lol. So is half the damn poulation, sick. And you said you did not know it was her money. She has to go after him. And hopefuly threy had a joint account. It's just as much his money as hers too, then. Even so, try to calm down. You may not be the only one woman.
    Pamela

  16. #16
    Guest

    Default Re: Legal Help!! A wife is suing me!

    I know this post will be deleted, but for the few who might have a chance to read it before it is:

    THIS IS DISGUSTING. Patricia played this guy and took him for tens of thousands of dollars, and all you guys can do is give her advice on how to get away with it? I'm not saying she should give the money back or anything, but don't you have any consciences? And you all think you're better than girls who do extras and get paid honest money in exchange for services rendered?

    I don't know how you all can sleep at night.

  17. #17
    Veteran Member Theresa's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Buffalo, NY
    Posts
    347
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: Legal Help!! A wife is suing me!

    Well, RATH,
    Seeing has how you are not even a registered member, your response doesn't even merit an answer, BUT I will give my opinion anyway. Sugar daddies KNOW the score, they KNOW that the only way to get the company of beautiful young entertainers (such as Patricia) is by spending some of the $$$ they have acquired throughout their lives. It isn't like we steal from them, they spend their money out of their own free will. If a guy spends his wives money on another girl, it isn't the girl's fault. If a girl asks for money from a guy he can always say NO.

    I have a guy who takes me shopping for whatever I want, and also occasionally gives me a large sum of money a couple of times a month, and honestly, I sleep very well at night.

  18. #18
    Guest

    Default Re: Legal Help!! A wife is suing me!

    Theresa,
    Let's make one small little change to the scenario and see how it afects perceptions: let's say the guy wasn't married, but worked for "The Orphans of Texas Foundation". He had embezzled the money he had spent on Patricia, and now the foundation had found out and was sueing her to recover it. he was, however, very unhappy and underpaid at the job, and fealt forced into embezzling because of it (hey, he deserves to be happy, right? And if lavishing money and gifts on Patricia makes him happy, why not?).

    Would everyone here still be giving advice to Patricia on how to hide the money? Or are orphans different than wives?

  19. #19
    God/dess Lena's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2002
    Location
    On a sweet muddy river.
    Posts
    6,399
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 78 Times in 43 Posts

    Default Re: Legal Help!! A wife is suing me!

    It's not about de-valueing the wife. It's about the husband taking responsibility for his own actions.

    If some guy embezzled money from the orphans and used it to buy a brand new car, would the orphans fund sue the car dealership? No, so why should they sue Patricia?

    Now my understanding is that Patricia is not being sued for financial damages, but for emotional damages or intentional harm or something like that. Which opens up a whole new can of worms...

    Lena



  20. #20
    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    123 Tornado Alley Way, Hooterville USA
    Posts
    6,322
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 36 Times in 30 Posts

    Default Re: Legal Help!! A wife is suing me!

    I know this post will be deleted, but for the few who might have a chance to read it before it is:
    Moderators: Please consider leaving this here, vitrolic bile or not, Rath does make a valid point here, although I hope we aren't drifting OT with it.
    THIS IS DISGUSTING. Patricia played this guy and took him for tens of thousands of dollars, and all you guys can do is give her advice on how to get away with it? I'm not saying she should give the money back or anything, but don't you have any consciences? And you all think you're better than girls who do extras and get paid honest money in exchange for services rendered?

    I don't know how you all can sleep at night.
    I suppose your point here Rath is not so much that Patricia did anything illegal, but broke more of some ethical boundary.

    Again, I don't understand where a few of us guys get the impression that if a guy gives a particular girl a lot of money and gifts that that constitutes "being played". This loser was only being played if Patricia had made some sort of promise (sex, relationship) in exchange the goods received and didn't deliver. She did not admit to making any false promises, and as long as we don't know otherwise, it would be best to give her the benefit of the doubt. She DID admit to not having sex with him for the goods received, which is good because had she done so, she WOULD have been doing something illegal.

    You would be surprised the amount of money some "stupid daddies" will give a particular lady even when the girl in question has made it EXPLICIT that at least for the forseeable future that she is NOT going to sleep with him or otherwise elevate their relationship to anything more than what it is. I have a co-worker who is sugar daddying a girl (NOT a stripper) and has thus far taken her to numerous expensive restaurants, given her rent money, paid off her body shop bill and court costs as the result of a recent DUI accident, etc. Yes, it does seem pathetic but the world is full of such men who think that the financial support that they're giving these women will win the girl over eventually, even when the woman has done nothing to further along their stupidity. Unless they make false promises of whatnot, dancers should not be given grief for a customer's imbecilic behavior.

    Truthfully, the only thing that Patricia did wrong (and is currently still doing wrong because she did admit to having other SD's) is break one of the yet unwritten "Stripper Ten Commandments": Thou shalt not get involved with customers outside of the club. There's nothing wrong with a customer buying you out for the night at the club, but the moment you begin accepting big ticket items like TV's, computers, appliances, that for all you know have been purchased on credit and can probably be traced, you've opened up a very large can of worms.

    Patricia will learn a very valuable lesson from this snafu, even if she is successful in court. My fear is that other dancers in Dallas who AREN'T being sugar daddied (and would never agree to such a dangerous proposition) may pay a price for her indiscretion if there is to be a big media circus locally regarding her case. The girls who were caught doing coke with ex-Cowboy player Michael Irvin in that hotel did enough damage to dancer reputations there.

    A word of advise ladies, unless its a SMALL gift (CD, gift certificate, etc) stick to the one gift that is legal tender for all debt$ public and private. Its a hell of a lot safer. And for God sakes, maintain your professionalism and DON'T get involved with sugar daddies.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

  21. #21
    Guest

    Default Re: Legal Help!! A wife is suing me!

    Here's where I disagree with you, Dr.

    I think Patricia would be in a much BETTER position ethically if she admitted to having had sex with that guy. Because I refuse to believe, based on whatever experience I've had in life, that he gave her all that money without having sex with her (IF SHE'S TELLING THE TRUTH ABOUT THAT) unless she led him on with false promises of at least potential sex. And if she did that, that's worse in my book than her having had sex with him in exchange for money. Because prostitution, although illegal, is just honest work. But LYING is LYING, HUSTLING is HUSTLING, and CONNING is CONNING.

  22. #22
    Guest

    Default Re: Legal Help!! A wife is suing me!

    Also, to Lena and Theresa:

    I don't think socketome and I are talking about legal responsibility. We're talking about moral responsibility. You don't think Patricia should feel even a little bit bad about taking all that money from that guy?

    (And while I agree that he's responsible for his actions, you're not gonna make me believe that he just up and gave her $30,000 without some serious encouragement from her.)

  23. #23
    God/dess velvet's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2002
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    4,778
    Thanks
    154
    Thanked 279 Times in 146 Posts

    Default Re: Legal Help!! A wife is suing me!

    sorry to burst your bubble there "rath" but i have had a boob job from one guy and have one regular that i have had for 2 years that has easily dropped 30k on me IN THE CLUB . i didnt sleep with either one of them. one cant, as he has high blood pressure and it's not an issue. the other just wanted my friendship. you sound like you have been burned and came here to get a rise out of us. some men have the money and are happy to spend it without it turning into a sex for monetary favors issue. some men are a little more refined.
    As quoted by Luckyone:
    I asked directions from a genie in a bottle of jim beam and she lied to me.

    Methodus saved my life!

  24. #24
    Banned Melonie's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2002
    Location
    way south of the border
    Posts
    25,932
    Thanks
    612
    Thanked 10,563 Times in 4,646 Posts
    Blog Entries
    3
    My Mood
    Cynical

    Default Re: Legal Help!! A wife is suing me!

    This thread seems to be straying from the facts here. The original point is that Patricia is potentially being sued for "intentional infliction of psychological harm" or whatever the specific charge is in Texas. If found guilty, she will be subject to outrageous amounts of punitive damages potentially being awarded by the jury to the wife (I'm thinking $100,000's). In addition, because the husband had the foresight to write "loan" on checks he wrote and Patricia accepted them or the goods purchased with them, she's also potentially liable for some $30,000 in repayment. Regardless of the "morality" of Patricia's "relationship" with this Sugar Daddy (which I have my own opinions about - posted elsewhere), the fact remains that the wife is setting in motion legal proceedings which could basically keep Patricia in poverty for the rest of her life.

    Even worse, these legal proceedings, if successful, could set legal precedent for thousands of other wives to bring similar legal proceedings against dancers all over the country, which is a SERIOUS matter! This could also potentially remove Sugar Daddies and "regulars" from the income equation of every dancer, forcing girls to weigh the $1,000's or $10,000's they might earn against the $10,000's or $100,000's they might be forced to pay out if a wife successfully brings a similar lawsuit against them. And unlike doctors or engineers or other professions, no underwriter is going to offer "malpractice" insurance for dancers! This lawsuit is not just Patricia's problem! If this precedent is established, any dancer who relies on "regulars" that spend significant amounts of money on them over time (thus establishing a long term relationship of some sort between the dancer and the "regular" which the wife can prove in court) is potentially at risk of also being sued for "infliction of psychological harm" or "alienation of affection" or similar charges by the "regular"'s wife.

  25. #25
    Member
    Joined
    Jan 2003
    Location
    hot tropicial beach
    Posts
    65
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 30 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: Legal Help!! A wife is suing me!

    Couple of things here: First " OH MY GOD HE WAS MARRIED !!!!! " If you had know that you would of never gone out with him. Didn't he tell you he was divorced and not yet ready for a commitment.
    You have just as much right to be the victim here as the poor wife who couldn't keep him at home is.

    Second the loan written on the check was a joke between the two of you, he said when you win the lottery pay me back and that he needed to write this on the checks to keep the IRS happy.

    All of this has to do with what kind of spin you want to put on it.

    Does the wife really want to go to court and have her sex life exposed in every detail? Did she really like to wear a diaper and cover herself with motor oil and beer. UGH!
    Do you think you were the first for her hubby. He is going to have to tell it all and a good attorney will drag it all out into the public.

    Last why do all the negative post come from " GUESTS " wasn't a tracking code going to eliminate these sudden mystery guests.

    LE Q

Page 1 of 4 123 ... LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. im suing someone..do i have to disclose I'm a stripper?
    By biancababe in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 10-28-2010, 12:52 PM
  2. Advice about suing a club
    By Nixon_ Forever in forum Industry Insight
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: 06-10-2009, 05:37 PM
  3. I'm suing my mother
    By Peanut_Butter in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 81
    Last Post: 06-17-2008, 07:24 AM
  4. Suing-Sm.claims ct
    By whirlerz in forum Dollar Den
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 04-14-2008, 07:00 AM
  5. Husband kills wife's lover; wife charged...Owned yo!
    By BlackSheEp3 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 46
    Last Post: 04-04-2007, 08:08 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •