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Thread: Is stripping submissive or dominant?

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    Default Is stripping submissive or dominant?

    There seems to be quite a bit of debate over whether stripping naked for a jeering, fully clothed crowd is a submissive act or whether the empowerment of being the centre of attention and a fantasy figure actually makes us dominant. I've been stripping for a while now and although i know i have the power to walk away from a dance and that guys and girls are fantasizing over me, i believe the act is quite submissive. I have to admit that this might just me as i'm a complete sub in the bedroom and i love having my boyfriend dominant and restrain me. However i think that most girls feel pretty vulnerable when they are strutting around naked for all to see, for me its part of the turn-on. One of the reasons i started stripping was because i enjoyed the vulnerability of being naked around clothed people, i loved being admired but at the same time being so exposed. The other day i performed a private dance for a group of 6 people 2 girls and 4 guys, i felt quite embarrassed as they joked to one another and as even the girls laughed about my most intimiate parts. For me it was a massive turn-on but i can't see how i was really dominant in that position? I know a lot of girls will disagree with this but i'd be interested to hear what people have to say.

    Luv Haley xx.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is stripping submissive or dominant?

    I think it's neither. It's just a job. In any job you'll working for someone (submissive) and doing a service they want and are hopefully grateful (dominant).

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is stripping submissive or dominant?

    It's definitely more dominant for me, but I think it really depends on your personal attitude and tendencies. Also mood. I can do a little submissive too, if in the mood. But mainly I'm more of the dominant type and love the ability to take control and lead a situation (especially when I'm letting the guy feel he is doing the leading - that is the best - I'm getting him to do what I want, but he's thinking it was all his idea ).

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Default Re: Is stripping submissive or dominant?

    There seems to be quite a bit of debate over whether stripping naked for a jeering, fully clothed crowd is a submissive act or whether the empowerment of being the centre of attention and a fantasy figure actually makes us dominant. I've been stripping for a while now and although i know i have the power to walk away from a dance and that guys and girls are fantasizing over me, i believe the act is quite submissive. I have to admit that this might just me as i'm a complete sub in the bedroom and i love having my boyfriend dominant and restrain me. However i think that most girls feel pretty vulnerable when they are strutting around naked for all to see, for me its part of the turn-on. One of the reasons i started stripping was because i enjoyed the vulnerability of being naked around clothed people, i loved being admired but at the same time being so exposed. The other day i performed a private dance for a group of 6 people 2 girls and 4 guys, i felt quite embarrassed as they joked to one another and as even the girls laughed about my most intimiate parts. For me it was a massive turn-on but i can't see how i was really dominant in that position? I know a lot of girls will disagree with this but i'd be interested to hear what people have to say.

    Luv Haley xx.
    dancing is a dominant act for the woman-it's her way of getting the attention and lust of men
    guess who's back? back again

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    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is stripping submissive or dominant?


    Stripping, like a lot of things, is exactly what you make it. If you go into it expecting to feel degraded, you will. If you go into it feeling empowered, you will. I've seen girls who agonize and kill themselves over their jobs, girls who love their sexuality and express it through their jobs, and girls who just treat it like a job. It is what you make it.

    Lena



  6. #6
    Pamela
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    Default Re: Is stripping submissive or dominant?

    Dominant! We show off our bodies because we 'chose too'! We are lusted after, other women are jealous of us, we call the shots, and we get MONEY! That that is a dominating act!
    pamela

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    Veteran Member DJ_WuLf's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is stripping submissive or dominant?

    The vast majority of dancers are very submissive in the bedroom as well as in thier real lives .....sooooo. I personally view dancing (stripping) as extremely submissive and its part of the turn on for me and I think most guys. Note here that being 'submissive" has nothing to do with being "degraded" or abused. Its about power and control ..and in this case ..the money IS both.

    Bridgette: What you are describing is called "Topping from the bottom" Its still a submissive trait.
    14 years working in Strip Clubs. "What a long strange trip it's been"

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    Default Re: Is stripping submissive or dominant?

    well... dominant, of course. i dance at the crazy horse theater, in san fran. been dancing there for close to a year now. i was convinced by a girl friend, who also dances there. the very fact that i can make a man divulge all his cash to me, or atleast the illusion of 'me' in the club, makes stripping dominant.

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    Pamela
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    Default Re: Is stripping submissive or dominant?

    DJ_Wulf, if i may correct you here, being a phone sex operator i 'have ' to know all the terminology. What you are pretty much describiing about Bridgettes words are more Sadomasochism.
    Topping and bottom, is used for the relationship. "Both" parties agree to take place being sub/dom. But it is real "force" play usually with safe words or not.
    It can't be done by a dancer who does not force anyone! It a force issue for play.
    Lots of people think it can be done with the mind, when actually people active in sub/dom relationships play or live thier lives this way.
    Commonly called by them "topping and bottom". I get these calls quite frequently!
    Just wanted to say thats what it means, yes. But in a real life sub/dom plat acting/lifestyle. Thats how the term is correctly used.
    Pamela

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    Default Re: Is stripping submissive or dominant?

    I think Lena described it best!!!

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    Default Re: Is stripping submissive or dominant?

    In any performance art the dancer or actor may it be is supposed to be in charge. People ,dressed or not, come to be entertained. They want to be lifted from their mood after getting off work. They want something to take their minds off their problems. The stage performer should be of a higher enthusiasm than the onlookers and attempt to bring them up as opposed to letting them bring you down.
    I think the submissive thing plays out more in a bikini contest than it does in stripping. There the contestant realizes that her success is pivotal on the audience response.
    I think you have turned your fear of vulnerability into an empowerment. Good work at turning a disadvantage into an advantage.

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    Featured Member LEIGH_LANDON's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is stripping submissive or dominant?

    Weirdly enough something was brought to my attention during a cop show, about subs and doms...that in all reality - the 'sub' is the dom.
    The sub can stop the play at ANY time with a safe word or phrase, allowing the dom to do as they wish but all control is really in the hands of the sub, one word can stop the whole scene. Meaning THEY are the ones in control.

    Intriguing isnt it?

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    Pamela
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    Default Re: Is stripping submissive or dominant?

    I think i am coming from a more hardcore point of view within this topic. What i do want to say, is sub. and dom. does not have the same meaning for everyone. And most of us almost everyday can be a sub one moment and dom the next when the occasion calls for it, home, work with friends etc.
    Leigh i understand what you are saying, but some subs have safe words because of the "pain factor mainly", they can only go so far, heart attack broken leg... (people have been killed from playing domination games). when they are a sub, they have no control. That is agreed upon from the start, alot of doms will not allow safe words.

    But in reality we do "ping pong" back and forth with being a sub and a dom when needed.
    Pamela

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    Jay Zeno
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    Default Re: Is stripping submissive or dominant?

    I don't see it as either one. I see it as provider-consumer, and if you establish a nice peer relationship with each other, it makes the transaction all that much nicer.

    Submissive/dominant will be in the minds of the parties, if it's there at all, rather than being inherent to the business relationship.

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is stripping submissive or dominant?

    Leigh is exactly right about the sub being the one REALLY in control. I have been involved in domme/sub (or top/bottom) play for years, and even though on the surface the top is controlling the bottom, if you really analyze the situation, it is the bottom who is really in control. If bottom wants punishment, all he/she has to do is 'misbehave'. If bottom wants rewards, he/she just 'behaves'. If bottom wants to stop the whole thing, well he/she just utters that safe word and it stops. DJ Wulf, topping from the bottom may be correct for what I'm describing, but it is definitely NOT a submissive trait in actuality - it is only submissive on the surface. Like I said, I like to allow the men to sit in the driver's seat, but in actuality I'm the one pushing the pedals and steering the wheel.

    As Lena said, it's going to be what you make it. Customers who want a dancer with a more submissive personality will be drawn to those, and vice versa.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Default Re: Is stripping submissive or dominant?

    Wow....talk about hitting one of my HOT buttons.... Sexually, I'm pretty submissive. Outside of the bedroom, I'm a brassy bitch. Frankly, a LOT of the subbies I've talked with are like that. However, it's all an act, masking how terrifically insecure I am all the time. With my guy (who is also my Dom), I'm able to take that mask off and let someone else take charge -- I can quit the charade.

    On stage I have a feeling of tremendous power -- more than anywhere else in my life. In fact, it's one of the few places where I don't have to ACT like I have power, I really do.

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    Veteran Member anklefrog's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is stripping submissive or dominant?

    I think it's mainly submissive, however it is very dominant when you are on stage. I also think it depends on mood. I say submissive b/c YOU are the one being nice to a guy to buy a lapdance to go home with cash. A lot of it is kissing ass. Don't get me wrong, I love dancing, but I'm only being nice to you for a few reasons, unless you are truly an interesting person and I'm interested in what you have to say. That unfortunately doesn't happen to often. It is a great dominant feeling though to turn a man on, hearing him breathing heavy in your ear.
    It's better to be looked over, than overlooked.

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    Default Re: Is stripping submissive or dominant?

    Power is determined by who gets their way. It doesn't matter if they're bigger or smaller, weaker or stronger. If Kuwait can get a much larger and stronger country like the US to come to it's aid then Kuwait is definitely the more powerful in it's influences in this theater.
    As to the stage ,the performer should be the dominant ( not saying it should be the same in the bedroom) like an orator in a forum as opposed to submissive like a condemned criminal at a trial.

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    Thumbs up Re: Is stripping submissive or dominant?

    [COLOR=Orange]Once I get on stage I think I'll feel dominate. I haven't done it yet but I think having every eye on me and my message to them will be empowering.....[/COLOR]

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    Veteran Member TarynJolie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is stripping submissive or dominant?

    I think it really depends on your personal attitude and tendencies
    I agree. But I also think that for many it is neither.

    For me it used to be just a way to earn an income. These days I don't need to depend on dancing for my income. Instead I use it as a generally safe way to occasionally explore and enjoy the exhibitionist side of my personality.

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    Default Re: Is stripping submissive or dominant?

    I'm with Emily... it's neither. It's a job.

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    Default Re: Is stripping submissive or dominant?

    I've worked in domination before. It definitely all comes down to power and the more you think about it power has so many different meanings and ways of being interpretted. There is no clear line that draws who is dominant vs. submissive. The inclusion of a money exchange and the acting out of a fantasy itself make the whole situation even more complicated.

    For anyone philosophically minded, this page pretty much sums up how complicated definining and describing power really is I think
    http://www.colostate.edu/Depts/Speech/rccs/theory54.htm

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    Default Re: Is stripping submissive or dominant?

    To vastly oversimplify what I think--I think that when the dancers outnumber the customers, they're in the more needy and likely submissive position--ie, the customers have most of the power. When the customers outnumber the dancers, they're in the more submissive position. I think the power shifts all over the place, often in the course of a single hour.

    I'm very well acquainted with the "topping from below" concept, but honestly, I've never heard any theory about BDSM that didn't generalize too much to apply to my experiences. I just haven't found all subs and all doms to be that much like each other.

    Also, it depends on whether you mean the women are sexually submissive, emotionally submissive, or socio-economically submissive, etc.

    Quote Originally Posted by HornyHaley
    There seems to be quite a bit of debate over whether stripping naked for a jeering, fully clothed crowd is a submissive act or whether the empowerment of being the centre of attention and a fantasy figure actually makes us dominant. I've been stripping for a while now and although i know i have the power to walk away from a dance and that guys and girls are fantasizing over me, i believe the act is quite submissive. I have to admit that this might just me as i'm a complete sub in the bedroom and i love having my boyfriend dominant and restrain me. However i think that most girls feel pretty vulnerable when they are strutting around naked for all to see, for me its part of the turn-on. One of the reasons i started stripping was because i enjoyed the vulnerability of being naked around clothed people, i loved being admired but at the same time being so exposed. The other day i performed a private dance for a group of 6 people 2 girls and 4 guys, i felt quite embarrassed as they joked to one another and as even the girls laughed about my most intimiate parts. For me it was a massive turn-on but i can't see how i was really dominant in that position? I know a lot of girls will disagree with this but i'd be interested to hear what people have to say.

    Luv Haley xx.
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    Default Re: Is stripping submissive or dominant?

    It depends on the dancer.

    Someone like CrazySassyCassy will never let anyone dominate her as a dancer, unless she is bullshitting them a bit to get a VIP, maybe. I have yet to work with a dancer who was less dependent on crowd response for feeling confident onstage--she is truly a sight to see.

    On the other hand, that new girl the other night, who gave in to the cop from Boston who wanted the handjob--and then cried when he gave her shit for doing it, would without question be a submissive type.

    I have seen and worked with examples from both ends of the spectrum, and all kinds of in-betweens.

    Then there are the ones who are consummate actresses and just give the customer what they want, without it affecting them at all. If you never let what someone thinks of you affect your own opinion of yourself, it would take some pretty extreme role-playing to make me judge you as being submissive.

    Some people remain free even while locked up in jail for long periods of time, others crumble and are imprisoned mentally as well as physically.

    It is interesting to observe how some women who dominate, or attempt to do so, in most social situations, are really into the submissive thing in their sex lives. I have had a couple of girlfriends who were quite strong-willed, and even leaning towards attempts to take control of the relationship (without much success--this doesn't work well with me, lol), and they both loved to be tied up, etc. I'm not all that much into being the dom, but what the hell I did it anyway, and they seemed to enjoy it a great deal.
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    Default Re: Is stripping submissive or dominant?

    Quote Originally Posted by DJ_WuLf
    The vast majority of dancers are very submissive in the bedroom as well as in thier real lives .....sooooo. I personally view dancing (stripping) as extremely submissive and its part of the turn on for me and I think most guys. Note here that being 'submissive" has nothing to do with being "degraded" or abused. Its about power and control ..and in this case ..the money IS both.

    Bridgette: What you are describing is called "Topping from the bottom" Its still a submissive trait.
    I agree 100%.

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