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Thread: stuck in a rut!!!

  1. #1
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    Default stuck in a rut!!!

    My stripping experience has been good. I broke up with my boyfriend and became a dancer. At first it was great to be told I'm beautiful get a great work and have a really nice place to live. I could make more money at an upscale club but have been turned away because I'm afro-asian. I have a mild temperment and have tried to be nice to everyone at my job. It has been really hard lately because the white girls at the club have been talking sh*t about me to the customers and even when I'm in the dressing room. Except for the latin girl tequelia who is always making me stand up for myself. My bestfriend is white and have nothing against white people. I don't talk to anyone and make time in the dressing room short. I don't understand why the girls are so racist when I have done nothing to offend them.
    I feel like second to everyone and like this the only shot at dancing. I lost my regular custumers because of all the smack they talk. This happens more when I make alot of money. I hope it doesn't sound like I'm whining but I kinda do feel sorry for myself.
    I'm stuck in a rut and don't know what to do!!
    kisses

  2. #2
    Veteran Member Theresa's Avatar
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    Default Re: stuck in a rut!!!

    If these girls are giving you a hard time when you make a lot of money it is obviously b/c they are jealous of you the money you make. I don't know what kinds of things they are saying to the customers but most likely it is making them look catty and should result in less money for THEM, as guys don't go to strip clubs to get involved in petty situations between girls. It sounds as if you have at least one ally at your club, does she get any heat from the girls who work there? If so you should see how she handles things. Maybe you could try out another club in your area where the girls aren't such catty little bitches.

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    Veteran Member anklefrog's Avatar
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    Default Re: stuck in a rut!!!

    Most customers hate it when strippers "talk shit" about other strippers. It just shows how insecure and full of it they are! Good Luck. Talking to the perps probably won't help, just mind your own business and don't get involoved with the politics. Maybe talk to a Manager and see if they can help, although that could backfire.
    It's better to be looked over, than overlooked.

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    Default Re: stuck in a rut!!!

    The best thing you can do to someone who treats you like that, is to show them that they don't bother you.

    They may really bother you, but if you do not show it, they will eventually move on, and you will feel vindicated.

    Just remember they are likely biotches and you don't need to stoop to their level of childish antics.

    Best of luck

    Tyler

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    Featured Member Prester_John's Avatar
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    Default Re: stuck in a rut!!!

    I agree with Tyler. The best and most effective tool against someone is Indifference. Don't just show it - be it. People use those kind of things those dancers are doing to you to get a reaction - to get under your skin. It helps validate themselves in some ways to bring others down. You act and show that they are not significant enough for you to get upset about, that gets under their skin more than anything else. You are rendering them insignificant, and since so many people live and die by what others think of them, that really gets to them. The best thing about it is you don’t even have to make any effort at all. No mean tricks, no underhanded tactics, no backstabbing, no vicious rumors - nothing. It is the Ultimate Mind Game, because it only works with THEIR help, and they are usually so clueless and wrapped up in themselves that do not realize they are in essence doing it to themselves.

    I once had a co-worker recently who turned out to be a sleazeball and a worthless slacker who gave crappy service to his customers and was perpetually late and hung over. One day I was fed up with his crap that I just stopped talking to him or acknowledging him. It worked wonderfully. If he had a question about drinks, alcohol, or needed help with his customers, I answered his questions gladly, because that’s part of my responsibilities, and I take my responsibilities very seriously. I never let personal feelings effect a customer. But I wouldn’t engage him in small talk when he tried, I never said hello or goodbye to him, I never included him in conversations. It drove him nuts, all because I acted like he wasn’t there. He eventually ended up getting fired (it turned out everyone was happy when that happened) because he tried to steal shit out of my backpack.

    Indifference works. It might not give you the immediate satisfaction of kicking someone in the teeth, but in the long run it is far far more effective.

    PJ

  6. #6
    Pamela
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    Default Re: stuck in a rut!!!

    I had a similiar experience with dancing. I was probably known as stuck up with the other dancers. I went in with an attitude because that is who i am to make my world work when it comes to living. Only once did 2 girls start rumours, and it got back to me through a customer. I kindly said to them one night "back off" while i was passing. That was all i said. Never a look at them again. Period. I meant business, but quickly, as not to start an argument.
    Jealousy is well known in the business. And being nice to the others by saying hi and bye, maybe the key alot of dancers may need to learn. If you don'y look like a "push over" it's hard to become one. And if you don't get chummy with the other dancers, well then you are out of thier "games", because you don't play them.

    Oh, let people talk, you can't stop that, and also let your customers Know who you are, say nothing bad about the other dancers when they are mentioned. If you don't let it continue to play, it will stop, your not game for it. They will find someone else, and that is sad too.

    Screw them, not even worth it, hang on to those "paying customers". forget the jealous ones, they have issues!
    How does it feel to be popular ?

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: stuck in a rut!!!

    Those girls are just jealous because you are new, and probably feel a little threatened because you have an exotic look and likely get alot of attention. Like others have said, best thing you can do is ignore them totally. They want to get you upset so you'll leave the club. Don't even sweat what they say and just do your job. Be nice to the customers and they will see who's being stupid and who's not. The other girls in the club do not matter in your world.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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