Hello everyone. I want to start off by saying that I am a registered member here, and I'm not a troll. I'm embarassed at what I am about to write here and I feel as if some people know me and I'd be devastated if anyone knew who I was.
OK, here it goes. I'm afraid I might be bulimic, sort of. I have a serious issue with my weight. I know I'm not fat, but I feel as if I could just lose 10-11 lbs I'd be happier. Right now I weigh 139, and am about 5'8 tall.
Every 1-2 days I do not eat. Just smoke cigarettes and drink diet sodas. Then when I'm hungry I eat whatever I want, but I constantly think about what I'm eating. The reason I think about what I'm eating goes in terms of how easy is it to vomit it back up. I know pasta and rice come up easier than let's say potato chips, or bread or meat. Sorry if this sounds gross but my life seems to be consumed by what I put in my body. I feel guilty eating and love that feeling in my stomach when it's empty and I have hunger pangs. I hate to eat when others are around and feel like people are staring at me me when I eat. I don't think I'm a true bulimic b/c they throw up everything they eat. I actually went to Planned Parenthood today for birth control and told them I didn't want to be on the pill b/c I vomit. They asked me how often and I told them every few days and sometimes I can eat normally and not throw up at all, and they told me I was NOT bulimic. They said bulimics throw up everything they eat. Every once in a whil I'll snack on a candy bar and not throw it up.
Sorry this is long but I need to know what you guys think. Even though I think I have a problem, I'm not sure I want to do something about it. This is easy for me to do and I feel better when I'm hungry. I feel like shit after I've eaten and feel better again after I've thrown up.


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