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Thread: Am I bulimic?

  1. #1
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    Default Am I bulimic?

    Hello everyone. I want to start off by saying that I am a registered member here, and I'm not a troll. I'm embarassed at what I am about to write here and I feel as if some people know me and I'd be devastated if anyone knew who I was.

    OK, here it goes. I'm afraid I might be bulimic, sort of. I have a serious issue with my weight. I know I'm not fat, but I feel as if I could just lose 10-11 lbs I'd be happier. Right now I weigh 139, and am about 5'8 tall.
    Every 1-2 days I do not eat. Just smoke cigarettes and drink diet sodas. Then when I'm hungry I eat whatever I want, but I constantly think about what I'm eating. The reason I think about what I'm eating goes in terms of how easy is it to vomit it back up. I know pasta and rice come up easier than let's say potato chips, or bread or meat. Sorry if this sounds gross but my life seems to be consumed by what I put in my body. I feel guilty eating and love that feeling in my stomach when it's empty and I have hunger pangs. I hate to eat when others are around and feel like people are staring at me me when I eat. I don't think I'm a true bulimic b/c they throw up everything they eat. I actually went to Planned Parenthood today for birth control and told them I didn't want to be on the pill b/c I vomit. They asked me how often and I told them every few days and sometimes I can eat normally and not throw up at all, and they told me I was NOT bulimic. They said bulimics throw up everything they eat. Every once in a whil I'll snack on a candy bar and not throw it up.

    Sorry this is long but I need to know what you guys think. Even though I think I have a problem, I'm not sure I want to do something about it. This is easy for me to do and I feel better when I'm hungry. I feel like shit after I've eaten and feel better again after I've thrown up.

  2. #2
    Featured Member Devastating Divyne's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I bulimic?

    Forcing urself to vomit is damaging to ur body, but u already know that. U may not know that it can rot ur teeth and eat the lining of ur throat and stomach leading to other problems b/c stomach fluid is extremely acidic. It has to be to break down and use all the stuff we put into them.
    But the real question is Do u physically force urself to throw up or is ur stomach ridding ur body of this food on its on. If u are physically forcing urself to vomit, u may not be bulimic but u are headed for trouble. This sometimes purging of food can lead to bulimia or anorexia which of course lead to more serious health problems.
    I don't know this for sure, but I suspect that this preoccupation with food/body image is tied in to other things in ur life. But, it is up to you to do something about this. The fact that u are asking others for help or at least advice goes to show that you understand that all is not well with what is going on. I would advice u to seek help from someone about weight and body image counseling which may be a good start.
    I am glad that, even though u posted anonymously, u trusted those of us on the board enough to still share something so personal and obviously serious and difficult with us. So thanks for that and i hope something I said helps.
    "Come what may although I often say realities come from dreams, but approach all lies with open eyes because NOthing in this world is EVER ALL it seems."

  3. #3
    Pamela
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    Default Re: Am I bulimic?

    Bulemia, like anorexia has underlying causes. You really need a check up with a doctor. It's not about the food.
    Good luck, Pamela

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Am I bulimic?

    No, Nightrider, I'm not a troll. I have around 100 posts on this board and have been somewhat active here for months. This is not a joke.

    Pamela, I don't have a Dr. or health insurance (like most people in this business) and I can't afford to see one either. Sometimes I do stick my finger down my throat, but other times it comes up naturally. I'm scared it could turn more serious, but also like I said, I like the feeling I get from it. I know it can be damaging to my teeth and body. I brush my teeth a lot more too. In a way I don't think i do have major issues with my weight. I'm not overweight or underweight. I'm not self-conscious about stripping or being nude, or any other part of my job. I don't know what it is. A few years ago I lost a decent amount of weight somewhat safely (not like this). Maybe I'm just afraid of being the miserable person I was before I lost the weight.

  5. #5
    Pamela
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    Default Re: Am I bulimic?

    Call your local hospital and ask about services for people who do not have insurance or a family doctor. My bet is...When you tell your story you will be invited to the Emergency Dept. You will be billed, don't worry, as long as you pay a small monthly fee you should be fine. (ask anyway, billing varies state to state).
    This will be the start for your health, a check up, and telling a doctor what is going on. Ask to speak with a social worker, or case management, for further help. Clinics and the sort. You know you are doing harm, now stop the cycle. I bet you can do this too! \
    Prayers with you, Pamela.

  6. #6
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I bulimic?

    Yes there are services you can get without insurance. Sweetie what you are doing is already unhealthy - at minimum depriving yourself of proper nutrition, along with the damage frequent vomiting can cause. I wouldn't trust what the people at Planned Parenthood told you about your vomiting. First of all they are not trained to detect eating disorders or the beginnings of them, and second I suspect you may not have been completely up front with them about all that's going on. If you watch any TV you've seen those ads for drugs to control acid reflux, which is commonly described as having frequent heartburn, or stomach acid churning up into your throat. Vomiting brings stomach acid up through your esophagus(sp?), throat and mouth and if you're vomiting regularly, all that stomach acid will reek havoc on those body parts over time.

    You should definitely see a health professional. There are clinics that charge minimum fees and some areas have free clinic where you could at least get some advice.

    I would also say that at 5'8" and 139 lbs you are far from being overweight and probably don't really need to lose any weight at all! I am 5'5" and weigh 130 and right in line with what I should weigh for my height and build. I think you're probably overly critical and a fear of 'reverting' back to your previously unhappy self when you were overweight is causing more problems in the present. You may not have a serious problem now but it very well could get very serious very fast, before you realize.

    I did a search and found the following info:

    Warning signs of eating disorders:

    *A marked increase or decrease in weight not related to a medical condition.
    *The development of abnormal eating habits such as severe dieting, preference for strange foods, withdrawn or ritualized behavior at mealtime, or secretive bingeing.
    *An intense preoccupation with weight and body image.
    *Compulsive or excessive exercising.
    *Self-induced vomiting, periods of fasting, or laxative, diet pill, or diuretic abuse.
    *Feelings of isolation, depression, or irritability.

    *************

    ANRED: Anorexia Nervosa and Related Eating Disorders, Inc.
    Merged with The National Eating Disorders Association
    603 Stewart St. Suite 803
    Seattle, WA 98101
    (206) 382-3587
    Toll-Free Information & Referral Help Line:
    1-800-931-2237

    Provides free and low-cost information on eating disorders and compulsive exercise. Booklets, brochures, fact sheets, and a monthly newsletter. Also info on dinding free and low-cost treatment options for those who need it. They have alot of very helpful and thorough info on all sorts of eating disorders, their early warning signs and sypmtoms, causes, treatment, etc.

    ***Info from their site on finding affordable assistance:
    If your income is limited, or if your insurance will not cover treatment for eating disorders, look for community service agencies in the "Counselors" section of the yellow pages. The organizations listed there may not provide formal eating disorders programs, but they do offer basic assistance to people who have few other options.

    This website also has loads of info and resource links

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Am I bulimic?

    Good luck, sweetie. I can't say anything new that the girls before haven't said, except that I know what you're going through. I've been a recovering bullimic for about 4 years in total. It's a living hell. Please stay strong and get help as soon as you can and remember that we're always here for you in case you need us.
    "Just 'cause she dances go-go, that don't make her a 'ho, no.....called up my Mama, said 'I'm in love with this stripper yo.'"
    -Wyclef Jean

  8. #8
    Featured Member tragic-beauty's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I bulimic?

    Hello everyone. I want to start off by saying that I am a registered member here, and I'm not a troll. I'm embarassed at what I am about to write here and I feel as if some people know me and I'd be devastated if anyone knew who I was.

    OK, here it goes. I'm afraid I might be bulimic, sort of. I have a serious issue with my weight. I know I'm not fat, but I feel as if I could just lose 10-11 lbs I'd be happier. Right now I weigh 139, and am about 5'8 tall.
    Every 1-2 days I do not eat. Just smoke cigarettes and drink diet sodas. Then when I'm hungry I eat whatever I want, but I constantly think about what I'm eating. The reason I think about what I'm eating goes in terms of how easy is it to vomit it back up. I know pasta and rice come up easier than let's say potato chips, or bread or meat. Sorry if this sounds gross but my life seems to be consumed by what I put in my body. I feel guilty eating and love that feeling in my stomach when it's empty and I have hunger pangs. I hate to eat when others are around and feel like people are staring at me me when I eat. I don't think I'm a true bulimic b/c they throw up everything they eat. I actually went to Planned Parenthood today for birth control and told them I didn't want to be on the pill b/c I vomit. They asked me how often and I told them every few days and sometimes I can eat normally and not throw up at all, and they told me I was NOT bulimic. They said bulimics throw up everything they eat. Every once in a whil I'll snack on a candy bar and not throw it up.

    Sorry this is long but I need to know what you guys think. Even though I think I have a problem, I'm not sure I want to do something about it. This is easy for me to do and I feel better when I'm hungry. I feel like shit after I've eaten and feel better again after I've thrown up.

    Whoa girlie!! cool down there!!

    im 5'11 and 134.. i used to be 150 lbs! lost alot of fat and gained a ton of muscle! if you want a diet use calorie diets.. dont hurt your body like that..

    just buy reducing your calorie intake by 200 points you will graduially see the difference! it doesent have to be anything huge!


    like for my diet i need 2,000 calories to keep my current weight.. well i went to eating 1800 - 1700 a day instead.. and i lost 1 pant size in 2 weeks thats not bad if i say so myself!


    you will be happy with your body.. just give it time

    nothing ever comes easy i know this.. and it sucks :|



    but i agree with these girls.. if you get worse with your condition.. you really should see a doctor

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Am I bulimic?

    Thanks again. I will call the 1-800 # on my next day off and look into a Dr. and therapy group in my area.

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    Default Re: Am I bulimic?

    I think deep down you know it is not good for you, and that is why you are asking.

    You really should seek help.

    I really wish you luck and hope you get through this healthy.

    Tyler

  11. #11
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    Default Re: Am I bulimic?

    Tyler you are totally right. I just don't know how I can overcome this. This morning I looked at myself in the mirror and all I saw was a chunky girl. This evening I see a thin girl. I didn't eat at all today and I feel a million times more better. At work I always look in the mirror at my stomach. That's the only part of my body I have a real problem with. I sometimes compare myself to others at work but usually I'm fine with myself. I do realize that all of us are beautiful in our own ways. And customers and men in general like all different body types. That's why they are in a strip club in the first place I know it's a mental thing. Sometimes I am totally happy with my life, my possesions, my lifestyle and other times I feel ugly, stupid, and like my life is a mess. Quite honestly I have few true friends and I feel very different from other people. I tend to isolate myself and even though I know it's mostly my fault, I feel left out a lot. Thanks to everyone here that has responded to me and knows I'm serious.

  12. #12
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I bulimic?

    Hon everyone feels left out sometimes and no one has many true friends. That is nothing unusual but if you are feeling bad about it and it's causing you to malnourish yourself there is something you need to deal with. Look at some of those references I posted - they have some good info and resources to help you locate the help you need. I really hope you feel better soon and anytime you need to get something off your chest come here and I and others will be glad to listen and give any support we can.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  13. #13
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    Default Re: Am I bulimic?

    So you say we are all right, and that you agree there may be a major problem arising here.

    We can all post on this MB, and say all the nice things we want, and you can say thank you till your blue in the face. That's all very nice.

    Nothing we say means anything unless you decide to seek help. The ball is in your court. You need to take control and call for help. I don't think a thing like this can be worked out easily alone. Getting help will be hard, but it is a huge step towards recovery.

    You know people love you and care about you, so do what it takes to ensure you are healthy. Make the call to get help.

    Nobody wants you to be sick, unhealthy, or unhappy from this.

    Tyler

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