Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: Re: How would you feel if your GF went back...

  1. #1
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Gettin the fuck outta Dodge!
    Posts
    14,241
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: How would you feel if your GF went back...

    If you can't handle it you might as well break it off. The question is whether you can handle it. You may find that your main source of anxiety is more of an intitial shock kind of thing along with worrying about whether she is safe and whether she is participating in the extras that are seem more prevalent now. It is still possible to make great money dancing without doing any extras, and you may find that your negative feelings subisde once you are able to realize you gf is a 'clean' dancer and isn't being harmed. Of course if your feelings are more plain jealousy over her showing her body and it remains for more than a few weeks and/or gets worse, you should do both yourself and her a favor and break it off maturely. This business isn't for everyone and not everyone can handle their SO being in it. Give it a little time and see if your feelings change. Good luck.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  2. #2
    Featured Member tragic-beauty's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2002
    Location
    KC
    Posts
    1,150
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: How would you feel if your GF went back...

    well i think the biggest mistake people make in relationships is not communicating with their partner, sit down and talk about it.. if it is to much for you then tell her that.. if she doesent care about your well being in that sence then you might be better off alone..

    in a relationship you have to give and bend to the needs of bolth of you. not just one of you

  3. #3
    Guest

    Default Re: How would you feel if your GF went back...

    I Just went back to dancing a yesr and a half ago.
    I was laid of at my straight office job, and needed to make a decision. I had quit for 4 years, but it seemed like a logical choice. I told my fiance about what I had been going back. He had no problems with it. He said he would back me up with any decision that I made.
    So I started to get ready, he helped me at the gym, helped me pick new outfits and sent me off with a kiss and a "good luck baby" . We have never looked back. I am so happy that I went back. It has made us stronger and happier. Hope this helps.

  4. #4
    Pamela
    Guest

    Default Re: How would you feel if your GF went back...

    I went through pretty much the same thing you are talking about. I made a choice however, with him making it clear i can't have both, him/dancing/phone sex. Well Three then.
    He told me it was over one night while i was at his house. I told him i am not ready ready to stop "working". I had 3 jobs at the time. (i no longer dance, because it has been 12 years, and i just wanted to stop, not because of him). We kept on having sex, (we been broke up over a year), and hanging now and again....Damn, the worst thing you can do. All in hopes of getting him back.
    Now i have stopped, i have moved on. He could not live with the anxiety i was causing him he told me, and lots of worry. (no trust, because of my 2 jobs).
    I quit dancing, and he calls me. NO, i am now sooooo over him.
    I can understand a guys point of view, believe me. But sometimes things change, and there is no going back again. He has bad memories, and i don't want them thrown up in my face.
    Pamela

  5. #5
    Guest

    Default Re: How would you feel if your GF went back...

    If you trust her sufficiently you should have no trouble dealing with her career. Talk it over with her, just to clear things up.

  6. #6
    Featured Member LEIGH_LANDON's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2002
    Location
    tee dot
    Posts
    1,476
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts

    Default Re: How would you feel if your GF went back...

    Its all in how much you believe in HER, not the way the industry is or can be.

    Yes extras and all that crap are more prevelant now than ever, but - how well are you two in sync that you would know these things wont be intregated into her decision to work again?

    As Bridgette said and I will echo - it IS absolutely possible to do this job and never be an extras girl/prostitute. AND make money. Browse through this boards postings, you'll see well enough.

    You also mention you have issue with her showing her nudity - this being your insecurities, and thats a bigger issue than worrying about the extras issue if you know your woman well enough and trust that it wouldnt be a part of her "program".

    Perhaps a 'heads up' conversation with her is due?

    Explain your insecurities/jealousies, see if she can ease your mind with her stand on the issue, let her know without using the relationship as ransom over the possibility you can't cope with it.

    Also try to see what exactly makes you feel so insecure or threatened by her performing nude?
    It isnt going to change who she is or how she feels about you, unless her feelings for you arent legitimate to begin with.
    She danced before... and she's still that same woman.

    So, this does primarily sit on your lap, not hers. Jealousy is not healthy and does root in the one that harbours it.

    This could be a turning point in your relationship that makes it so much stronger by the realization and validation of how you feel about eachother OR it could blow up and damage whatever you've built to date.

    Be careful as you approach the subject - dont just hear what she has to say actually LISTEN to what she says - there is a difference.

    I hope you give her the opportunity to show you her merit in the situation. I hope she lends you an ear and gives you the affirmations you need to rest assured.

    Good luck and happiness!
    LIVE LONG & PROSPER!
    Leigh Landon

    Never explain yourself to anyone, because the person who likes you doesn't need it and the person that dislikes you won't believe it.

  7. #7
    Member
    Joined
    Apr 2003
    Posts
    14
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: How would you feel if your GF went back...


    My GF isn't an ex-dancer, but her sister is a dancer at the club I hang out at. When her classes are out for the summer, she's considering dancing for the summer for the extra cash. Does she need to? Nope, I could support her and would do so gladly. She wants to earn her own way, though, and I respect that.

    However, (there's always a however, isn't there?) if she dances this summer, I won't be going to the club except on certain days for selling clothes. I trust her completely. I trust her sister and our friends, too. I do **not** trust myself not to break some jerk's arm if I see someone go too far. And that is my weakness, not hers.

    So how would I feel? Nervous and proud at the same time. And turned on, oh yeah. She's been going through the inventory lately, don't ya know?

  8. #8
    Member
    Joined
    Apr 2003
    Posts
    32
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: How would you feel if your GF went back...

    WhiteKnight,
    Wow some GREAT replies here. I can echo many of the opinions because about a month ago I could have written your post. My girl is not dancing that often but it was still something I had to deal with at first and the INITIAL shock is the worst for the guy. Yep, the whole worry about her being nude with all these guys looking, the whole "she's sitting in other guys laps mostly nude" thing, the "what goes on in a lapdance", a lot to overcome.

    Coming to this forum was a huge help for me and it looks like it will be for you too. My suggestion based on my experiences of the last month, if you really care about this woman DO NOT just run. You will learn a lot about your relationship with her within the next few weeks and how strong it is. Do NOT hide your feelings if you have reservations or problems. COMMUNICATION is the KEY here! As Shan said and I agree 100%, sit down and talk about it. We had a few "big talks" where everything got out on the table and you have no idea how much it helped. Not talking about things is the biggest mistake couples make. And I mean talk too. As it was mentioned here, explain to her your reservations, reasons why this bothers you and see if you two can work it out. Chances are she'll ease your fears bigtime if you just talk openly and honestly.

    Best of luck to you, I think giving this some time and talking it out will go a long way in making you feel better with the situation. Feel free to private message me anytime if you'd like to talk further.

    Faithless



Similar Threads

  1. Last night my BF had two orgasms back to back...
    By crazybeautiful28 in forum Body Business
    Replies: 24
    Last Post: 06-16-2009, 09:13 PM
  2. Birth Control back to back
    By angelina in forum Body Business
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 02-28-2007, 02:34 PM
  3. Back again 6 months after first *going back*
    By Alexus in forum Coming Out
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 03-05-2006, 09:33 PM
  4. surviving multiple bad nights back to back
    By tampadancer in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 01-03-2005, 12:59 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •