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Thread: ? for the dancers ONLY

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    Default ? for the dancers ONLY

    I constantly read posts here where dancers refer to their boyfriends and this makes me wonder:here is my question for the dancers:would you not prefer to be with a guy who has enough $ so that you would not have to dance(or work AT ALL)?or do you enjoy dancing so much that you'd rather dance and not rely on your bf for $? I am hoping to be educated by your replies
    guess who's back? back again

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    Senior Member April's Avatar
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    Default Re: ? for the dancers ONLY

    Neither. I am a VERY independent person, so I could never let someone support me. I learned early on that the only person in this life I can count on is me! And it's not that I enjoy dancing so much, it's just that I enjoy making a lot of money in a relatively short amount of time. This gives me time to spend with my kids, who mean the world to me! They will only be this age once, and I intend to be there for them.

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    Veteran Member anklefrog's Avatar
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    Default Re: ? for the dancers ONLY

    Same here. I am incredibly independent. I don't have a boyfriend or man, and I don't want one. I get attached very easily and would hate to have soemone put the "me or your job" ultimatum on me. I'd choose the job. I like paying my own bills, and I don't accept $ or gifts very well from others (except at work ha-ha)
    It's better to be looked over, than overlooked.

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    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re: ? for the dancers ONLY

    Ditto on the independence factor. I could NEVER rely on a man to support me, both from the standpoint of my own self esteem and from the standpoint that there's no such thing as a free lunch. I have occasionally gotten "close" to guys who were loaded, but I have turned down the vast majority of their "generosity" on principle, and I have always known that I could pack up and leave at any time without having to endure any change in my lifestyle.

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    Veteran Member hollyday's Avatar
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    Default Re: ? for the dancers ONLY

    no...i could not handle being dependent upon another person for anything.....
    blessed be

  6. #6
    Pamela
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    Default Re: ? for the dancers ONLY

    Hi Anabolic,
    I maintained 3 jobs, phone sex operator, dancer and work at a major hospital. My bf of 4 years and father of my child, hated my phone sex, and dancing. Plus i was posing nude alot for various magazines at the time.
    We had talked, and fought. He told me to quit, and only further my education in Patient Relations (hospital).
    He fought agin and again, telling me what to do. "You better do this, NOW". I made a choice, take care of myself and daughter, or work at a low level pay.
    I could not ask for the things i own now, Home for one.
    I made a choice i do not regret, i loved him. But, i needed to make my own way in life, and learn not to depend on others for cars etc.
    It feels good to make and spend your hard earned money.
    No regrets, none at all. I gave up love for job choices, because i wanted to make lots of money, and invest, while buying the things women want.
    Pamela

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    Veteran Member Kittie's Avatar
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    Default Re: ? for the dancers ONLY

    I hate the idea of relying on another person to provide me with the things that I need. No, I don't think that I could ever be happy if I didn't work at all and had my fiance pay for everything.

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    Default Re: ? for the dancers ONLY

    I only date men who make more money than me its a turn off for me if I am the one who makes more money.

    I would not quit maybe just take a vacation or leave of absence only if my income was supplemented for that time period.


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    Default Re: ? for the dancers ONLY

    I don't think I'd give up doing something I loved to do, no matter if my boy and I are scrounging pennies out of the couch or rolling in cash. (Mmm.....Indecent Proposal.....oops, sorry, got a little sidetracked. ) I need to rely on him every so often for little things like dinner, but it all works out in the end- right now, he makes more in his job than I do, but my dancing pays for my medical school. Once I get my medical degree, I'll probably be supporting him!
    "Just 'cause she dances go-go, that don't make her a 'ho, no.....called up my Mama, said 'I'm in love with this stripper yo.'"
    -Wyclef Jean

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    Senior Member BebeBabiez's Avatar
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    Default Re: ? for the dancers ONLY

    I LOVE taking care of my man, and he takes great care of me too
    He's not very comfortable with me dancing, so we don't discuss the money that I make at work, which is fine with me. He's not the one shakin it for the money.. He treats me when we go out, and the next time I treat him!

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    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re: ? for the dancers ONLY


    Ditto. I can't be supported or taken care of. I have certain goals and I will reach those goals and if someone wants to come along for the ride, great. But it's my ride, and I'm not getting off it for anybody.

    Lena



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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: ? for the dancers ONLY

    Same here. I'm independent, learned to be as a young child, and can't rely on someone else for my living. I don't date guys who make less money than me, because that brings too much potential for problems. I also like having my own money and the security of knowing that no matter what happens in a relationship, I don't have to worry about how to maintain my lifestyle.

    Why should a woman simply look for a man to support her? That puts her at a disadvantage in the relationship right away, making her dependent on him and giving him a certain amount of power over her. Bad recipe. Maybe some people are cool with that, but I am not. To each their own. I suspect you won't find too many dependent-type women here.

    Finally, I have goals and intend to reach them. I look for men with goals and drive also. This way, if I get into a relationship, we can both have our careers, and come home to each other rather than one come home to the other. IMO, when only one person in the relationship has a career or goals, it is a one-sided relationship and I am way too strong-willed for that.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  13. #13
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    Default Re: ? for the dancers ONLY

    I don't date guys who make less money than me, because that brings too much potential for problems.
    Oh, how modest. Guess you'll be a spinster all your life

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: ? for the dancers ONLY

    Yeah, thanks for the brilliant input there, GUEST. Maybe you should register, or just use your normal log-in when making this type of shining remark. In answer, I'd hardly call myself a spinster, since I do date and have an active social life. I even have someone I've been dating exclusively for a while, and can say that it is a good thing and is progressing into a more serious relationship. I choose to date guys who have an income level at least as high as my own, because it is very common for guys to become overly insecure and jealous when in a relationship with a woman who has more money than the guy. I prefer to avoid that potential disaster right from the start. It has nothing to do with ego or not being modest, and everything to do with choice and a desire to have the healthiest relationships possible, sans jealousy.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    God/dess velvet's Avatar
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    Default Re: ? for the dancers ONLY

    we both make great money. i love to dance. we get ahead faster this way. i wouldnt not dance because of his salary although i could. i just choose to get it while i can!!
    As quoted by Luckyone:
    I asked directions from a genie in a bottle of jim beam and she lied to me.

    Methodus saved my life!

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    Default Re: ? for the dancers ONLY

    Dancing is no different than any other job. Most men and women both work. why should it be any different for dancers?

    In life you need all the money you can get. Being a dancer is no big deal. You seem to feel insecure about it. It takes two incomes to make it nowadays and the smart dancers who aren't on drugs and who are ambitious save their money to invest so they won't have to work in a mainstream job when they retire.

    Going out with a dancer is no different than going out with a girl who works in an office. She just has more flexible hours and can pick up and travel the country knowing she can get a new job in most cities.

    Meeting a dancer that has chemistry with you is no different than meeting a girl anywhere besides a club. It happens when it happens. And when or if it does is no big deal.

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: ? for the dancers ONLY

    Very well said Tina! So many people miss that whole point!

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Featured Member Corey's Avatar
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    Default Re: ? for the dancers ONLY

    Since I have moved to LA, my fiance is helping me more financially, for the present time. However, when he was laid off, even though he had good enough investments to pull him through, I would spring for dinner and our skiing vacations.

    I think it is give and take. I would never expect him to pay for all of my expenses forever. I wouldn't be happy in that situation.

    As for liking dancing; I love the stage, but like Pamela, I am not crazy about lap dancing. The time flexibility is the main reason that I do it now.

    I have to admit, when I got laid off of my tech job last year, I was glad that I had kept my dancing skills up, even though I hadn't danced in a club for three years. It is great to have it to fall back on

    I am rambling again. I don't mind relying on someone for a temporary amount of time, but I couldn't do indefinitely. I would always be there to help that person out who has helped me, as well.

    Cheers,

    Corey
    (Formerly known as 'Korina')

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    Featured Member susan's Avatar
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    Default Re: ? for the dancers ONLY

    Ahem.....wow..... how do I say this....

    First, I don't want to get into two many details here, but my relationship with my husband is... well.... we're basically a D/s couple, which means a whole LOT of stuff w-a-a-a-y beyond what's being asked here. However, my relationship with him is totally of MY choosing, and part of the magic behind all of it is that, if I ever want to, I can also walk away whenever I choose. As far as me being FINANCIALLY independent, I'm totally and completely able to take care of myself. That lets me separate my physical need to be dependent on a man (I'm NOT!) from my emotional and security issues (something else entirely!).

    Now that THAT'S out of the way, I have to tell you that I can't IMAGINE being in a relationship with a man who was physically (that is, financially) dependent on ME. First, and foremost, it would prevent the kind of emotional relationship with him that I need to have by putting the money FIRST and all of the more important emotional needs second. On top of that, I would always wonder if he was hanging around ME simply because I was his meal ticket and NOT because he needed me.

    Finally, there's this whole thing about "financial independence" and the other characteristics I need in a partner: ambition, intelligence, etc. While I'll fully admit that there are ambitious, intellegent men who might TEMPORARILY be down on their luck, in the long run, ambitious, intelligent men will generally also be successful at whatever they do. While I recognize that not ALL "ambitious, intelligent" men place financial rewards at the top of their list, most of them do or at least are able to achieve financial independence while attaining their other goals.

    Bottom line, while it's important for ME to be financially independent, it's also important for my partner to be un-dependent on ME, financially, so that we can have the sort of emotional relationship that I need.

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    Featured Member susan's Avatar
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    Default Re: ? for the dancers ONLY

    Amber..... while a part of me shares your sentiment.... lemme send you a copy of my pre-nupt to use as an example.

  21. #21
    Veteran Member anklefrog's Avatar
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    Default Re: ? for the dancers ONLY

    Susan, maybe I'm a dummy but what's a "D/s couple"?
    It's better to be looked over, than overlooked.

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    Default Re: ? for the dancers ONLY

    Dominant/submissive is my guess...

    Lena



  23. #23
    Pamela
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    Default Re: ? for the dancers ONLY

    Being a phone sex operator,
    It is simply a newbies instructions to Dominance and Submission.
    Notice.. big D, small s. You can play around with the letters if you wish, but that is the correct size.

    Now D/S is simply Domination/submission, or Dom/Sub Some use the & sign. The Dom is the master, sub is the slave.
    Pamela, and Lena is right.

  24. #24
    Veteran Member anklefrog's Avatar
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    Default Re: ? for the dancers ONLY

    The dummy thanks you for your replies
    It's better to be looked over, than overlooked.

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    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
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    Default Re: ? for the dancers ONLY

    Well so who's the Dominant one? C'mon, inquiring minds that have no business knowing want to know!
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

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