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Thread: AAAARRRRGGGHHH

  1. #1
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    Default AAAARRRRGGGHHH

    I am so incredibly frustrated right now. My dad made me quit my new job, and it's not even stripping; I'm a cocktail waitress. He threatened to come down to the club and throw a fit and drag me out of there if I didn't quit. Granted, I still live at home, so I guess he has "his rules" - but I've been looking for a job for six months, and this is good money. He says that waitressing will "lead to stripping," which may be true, but I wouldn't do that while still living in his house.

    The worst part is, this is just a few months after HE told me that I should try stripping when I go away to college, because the money could help with my education.

    A girl who worked at the club told me not to feel bad; that her mom tried to make her quit when she first started, too. But I still felt like a baby saying that I had to quit to appease my father. Have any of the rest of you had to deal with family members like this?? ARGH...sorry to vent...I'm just really really angry and sad and embarrassed. It's so hard to find a job.

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    Default Re: AAAARRRRGGGHHH

    Yeah I know what you mean. Im still obligated to appease my family since I had to move home for the summer because I was too poor. It drives me fucking crazy.

    I want to work at this topless bar in town but my mother would flip if she knew what my job was. Shes the typical Republican catholic type, and has no idea of what I do. So I'm waitessing at this resturant instead.

    I thought of telling her I clean an office at night or stock a department store. I dont know if its worth lying and sneaking around though. Lots of extra stress on me...I just tell myself I am still really young, and not living at home next year and have a least a decade to make money in this buisness....

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    Default Re: AAAARRRRGGGHHH

    Wow...I'm sorry to hear about your troubles, but it does make me feel a little better to know I'm not the only one out there to whom crap like this happen.

    Sneaking around is probably NOT worth the extra stress. I don't know about you, but I'd be too paranoid that someone like my brother would come in, catch me, and tell the family.

    Hopefully next year you and I will both be free from the bondage of our homes and can work where we want.

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    Default Re: AAAARRRRGGGHHH

    I had a friend who was in the same situation. She ended up moving out cause she made enough $$. I live on my own so I didnt feel the need to hide it cause I didnt have to answer to anybody(although my dad didnt like it Im sure)

    It was really hard for my friend to hide what she did while she lived with her parents I'll tell you that.

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    Default Re: AAAARRRRGGGHHH

    Sooner or later, someone your family knows will end up walking in and seeing you. It always happens. so I wouldn't advise keeping it a secret... (unless you plan on working at a strip club many many miles away from your city)

    it would be better to tell them when you are moved out and settled on your own and they really wont' have grounds to tell you to quit or anything...

    anyways good luck with your situation...
    "So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life."

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    Default Re: AAAARRRRGGGHHH

    I don't understand why any of you are still living with your parents? I had a friend when I first started dancing who lived with her parents while she was in college and she was also dancing. She was constantly stressed out. She worked about and hour and a half away from home so her parents wouldn't find out but the constant stress of sneaking around finally pushed her over the edge and she moved out and found her own place. I've lost contact with this person today but she came from a very strict religious hispanic family. I know that once she moved out on her own she was much happier. I now work with two dancers that actually hide there dancing from there Husbands! How anyone can pull that one off is a total mystery to me but I guess they feel they have to.
    Jae, how old are you? Can't you find a place of your own? Why did you tell your parents you were cocktail waitress at a strip club in the first place? And lastly, Your OWN father told you that you should consider stripping while in college?! Is he your step father? I think it's best if you move out. But I'm still curious if you're even old enough to be on this forum.

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: AAAARRRRGGGHHH

    I would say it's best for you ladies to move out also. If you're old enough to work in a strip club you're old enough to rent your own apartment and take your own responsibilities. I know it might be intimidating if you've never been on you own, but believe me, once you do it you won't regret it. Besides, by working in a strip club, either dancing or waitressing, you should be making plenty of money to pay your own bills. Good luck!

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Default Re: AAAARRRRGGGHHH

    Thanks for the advice...I have enough money for an apartment...but transportation is an issue thats holding me back. I live in a really spread out mid sized city...no public transportation. Have to use the junky 3rd family car to get anywhere. As soon as I have enough money to make a payment on a good used car and pay insurance Im good to go....

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    Default Re: AAAARRRRGGGHHH

    <<Jae, how old are you? Can't you find a place of your own? Why did you tell your parents you were cocktail waitress at a strip club in the first place? And lastly, Your OWN father told you that you should consider stripping while in college?! Is he your step father? I think it's best if you move out. But I'm still curious if you're even old enough to be on this forum. >>

    I'm 18. Right now I'm finishing up my high school credits at the community college, and I've been accepted to the University of Washington for the fall quarter, so at that time I'll be moving out on my own. I told my dad that I got the job as a waitress because I thought he would be happy to know that I had a job, and I figured he'd eventually figure out where I was working regardless of whether I told him or not.

    He is my real father. People do tend to think that it's strange that he suggested working at a strip club while in college, but he works on a used car lot and saw that the dancers who came in always had a lot of money and made their car payments on time. I think he was mainly angry that I was working at a really cheesy, low-brow titty bar instead of a "classier" club.

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    Default Re: AAAARRRRGGGHHH

    My dad is from India, my mom is devout Catholic from Maryland. I have been dancing two years now. I began dancing after an abusive relationship alientated me from my family, Dad turned into an alcoholic, and my life fell apart when I had no money coming in for college. I chose stripping for the potential life experiene and flexible hours. I didn't tell my parents, but then again I lived independently. Even though my parents had no bearing on my financial life, they made it their business to try to dictate how I supported myself.

    I tried to hide my new (really fun!) job from my parents for awhile, that is until my abusive ex spread the truth all over my home town! Now everyone knows, and believe me, it's hard at first to deal with. However, I have never considered stripping wrong. I figure it's their narrow-mindedness that's the problem. Now I'm a sophomore in college despite all my difficulties. I am happier and healthier now that I took control over my finances and living situation. My advice is to move out and find a way to pay for yourself. Keep in my that once you've started dancing you can't undo the experience. Even worse, like me, you may LIKE it. Think about how hard it is to explain that to the parents!

    In case you are wondering, my dad and I are no longer on speaking terms (he tried to sue me for a petty sum of money so that I would have to stop dancing and school and return to the home-- it didn't work). My mom and I are closer than ever-- she realizes that I will always be her baby no matter my profession. So, I guess you never know...but keep in mind your Dad might walk into the club and see you, or try to force you to leave. It doesn't usually happen, or course, but it happened to me and I will never forget it. At least I don't have to deal with the lies, which makes me feel better about it. No shame in it, you know?
    Rayne
    shakin it and doin fine

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: AAAARRRRGGGHHH

    Roxie, there are loads of used car lots where you can get a decent first car without necessarily having credit. If you can save up, say, $500-$1000 for a down payment and get a manager at your club to vouch that you work there, most of those places will finance you. And lots of insurance companies also do payment plans for coverage, so it's really not hard to get into your first car. Then just make the payments on time and keep saving your money, and before you know it you'll be able to buy a brand new car! Good luck sweetie!

    And good luck to all you young'uns! It seems like a lifetime ago, but I do remember when I was in your shoes and struggling to get started. It just takes some work, but it does get easier!

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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