SORRY I screwed this up the first post.
Ok this has been killing me for days, I can't talk to family or friends about this because no one knows about this.
So I checked the Net and this seems about the best discussion board to ask for advice from reading some of the other threads.
I've known this female for about a year and a half now.
As we got to know each other, she's told me she used to do some dancing and "private shows" (parties, etc.).
This was done underage.
Now I had never met anyone that had done that before
(or that I knew of LOL) and although she was underage when she did it, I heard out her story. It's the typical one, grows up poor, mother and father not in her life, rest of the family didn't do much to take care of her and a history of being sexually abused. From reading a lot of articles onlie about "dating a stripper" it seems more and more of the red flags are coming up. Understand when we met she was NOT dancing. So I am not a customer at a club who thinks he has met a dancer who wants to date him.
So me thinking I can "help" this girl or be the "Knight in shining armor" offered my help as a friend. It has been an emotional rollarcoaster ever since. I was there after fights with family where I met her and she cried on my shoulder that we wished she weren't alive. I have helped her financially (I know what a SUCKER). We have gone out numerous times, shopping, to a movie, to eat, there's been times she just grabbed my hand to hold hands when we were out (my girlfriend of 5 years never wanted to do that for pete's sakes). So this sounds alright but then there are the things I read about. The promised calls that never come, the plans made that never happen and then when I call it's as if we never discussed the plans SHE had originally suggested. She's worked a few jobs but nothing bringing in significant income.
Her solution has always been to think about easy, quick money to get out of her problem and I have been battling this by coming out of my pocket (MY offer not her asking most of the time) to prevent her from turning back to what she did in the past. Understand I am far from rich but I do OK for myself, I have not broken myself doing this, just been there when help was needed. I've tried to be there as a friend and offer her the care she has never gotten from family. She had to grow up way too fast.
My point? She's going off to school to make something of herself and I am so proud of her for that, she is very
focused and has her goals. BUT her solution to her immediate money problem right now is a "temporary" return to dancing. Maybe for a month although she has interviews for some "regular" jobs too.
So here I sit, trying to be a friend but deep down disappointed as hell that this female I care about spends her days nude with guys leering at her, grinding
on God knows how many men and who knows what else in the private dances. She called me the day before she started asking my advice on what to do but ultimately I cannot control what she does. It was advice on "this club or that club", not should I do it at all?
Given her background, being abused at an early age and numerous times by guys, I guess a lot of typical signs are there. She assures me, although this is an all nude club, "just some touching, etc". but I am not that naive. The big money is made doing the dirtier stuff. It's easy to say that on the phone, but when someone offers you a lot of cash for something, gonna be hard for her to say no.
At this point I'm sure there are those saying "RUN you idiot, forget her" but after a year and a half of friendship
now I just feel hurt, bummed out, jealous of her entertaining dozens of guys with thoughts running through my head of what she does with them and knowing there's plenty offering her more "if you hook up with me after work".
After all my babbling I guess my question is, should I give up on her and let her go or let this run it's course and be there as her friend? It's very tough getting through the days thinking about this and not having an outlet to let it out. I'm pretty stressed over this and I guess it's my own fault for thinking I could make a difference. Guess I've been played, I dunno.
Faithless



Reply With Quote


Bookmarks