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Thread: Hiding job from roomates

  1. #1
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    Default Hiding job from roomates

    i want to dance and hide it from the people that i live with. where can i tell them that i am going so they will not be suspicious of my hours,make up and smoke filled dance bag? i thought of telling them that i am at another bar - like a restaurant but what if they come to visit me?

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    Default Re: Hiding job from roomates

    I know only one dancer who hid it from everyone, including her boyfriend. She told her family and friends she cleaned houses, so they couldn't come visit her. She worked an hour from where she lived and showered at a gym before she went home. She was also naturally beautiful and didn't wear much makeup.... Most dancers get found out within a few months.

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    Default Re: Hiding job from roomates

    well I guess you can tell them ( if the are all male of coarse ) that you took a job as a waitress in a seedy, Gay/trannie bar and oddly enough they tip REALLY GREAT, oh and the makeup is to help you fit in

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    Member LittleOne's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hiding job from roomates

    It is almost impossible to hide that from people that close to you. What if the club calls you on your day off to come in? Or what if a customer starts stalking you, or causes a problem, what if you fall off stage and break your leg....you really want to not have anyone's support?
    Most people are so much cooler about this than you'd expect. Maybe bring something up, like say your friend is starting, what do they think? Find out thier reaction to it. If these are people you choose to live with, because you have similar interests, why wouldn't they be fine? Otherwise, then maybe you have to consider that maybe this isn't the job for you. It's not "easy money" and you need to have someone there that you can cry to and that'll help you out.
    Hottie on the Hood

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    Default Re: Hiding job from roomates

    I had a roomate that didn't know I danced. I left my dance bag in the car and brought it in during the day while she was at work to do laundry. I would be leaving freshly showered with hair done when she was getting home, do my make up at the club, and when I got home she was asleep so she never saw the whole make up thing (but you can wash the make up off with one of those make up remover pads at work). Actually, we really never saw eachother...

    Lena



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    Default Re: Hiding job from roomates

    Tell them you work for a catering company. That's what I used to tell my family and ex-roomates. It's perfect. You will be soooooo glad that you never told them the truth. Most people can't handle it. Even if at first they claim they do they will ALWAYS throw it back in your face and you will never be able to take it back. Keep the secret........you'll be glad you did.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Hiding job from roomates

    I cannot agree enough with Candice! My friends and boyfriend were initially shocked, then after a few minutes they said they were cool with my decision and would support me. One day later they both went through the roof and judgements started flying. Let's just say it wasn't pretty. Maybe you could tell them you work as a coctail waitress there to ease the blow ??? :-/

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    Member LittleOne's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hiding job from roomates

    I don't know, maybe my roommates are just cool. I guess it just depends on your situation and why you live with them. My boyfriend is totally cool with it, he's been supportive and understanding though everything. He even finacially supported me when I first started b/c I had to spend most of my savings on clothing/make-up/shoes and he paid my rent and car pymt for the first month I worked so I could get my finances under control! My roommates initial reaction was shock, and his girlfriend was pissed, but that lasted a week or so. I think they thought I'd have this extreme 180 attitude change or something. I'm still the same old me.
    Finally the girl started asking all kinds of questions, I refered her to "stripper FAQ" and dancingdolls.com and here, of course, and now she thinks it's totally cool! She's even said she'd like to try it out but doesn't think her BF wouldn't be as supportive as mine, and she's even been helping me go shopping and pick out clothes. We really weren't friends at all before this. I'm not really the "girly" type, but she's 100% sorority girl....we finally have make-up and clothes in common, she's been a huge help!
    If you don't think you can tell them, don't....but don't try and keep it from everyone! Living a double life is not fun, it's really stressful and you don't have anyone you can talk to about it. Tell your best friend, your boyfriend, and if thats a far as you'd like fine. Right now your leaving your only option for friends as girls at work. I can say, on here, we're all cool, but at work it's not a good idea to be "friends" with everyone. Esp. since quite a few party too hard, steal, drink, gossip and 1000 other habits your aren't going to want to be involved with! Keep working relationships seperate, and have someone you can talk to.
    Hottie on the Hood

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    Default Re: Hiding job from roomates

    Lots of insights here. One caution: You cannot tell boyfriends about edgy situations at work. It tears them apart.... You're better off finding a serious regular customer over 30 and telling him. Someone in fantasyland may end up knowing your soul better than anyone in the real world ever will, but that's a construtive use of anonymity.

  10. #10
    Pamela
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    Default Re: Hiding job from roomates

    Asia they will want to come and see you at work sometime. Hiding your job leads to trouble in the long run for alot of dancers.
    Why can't you tell them ? They are roomates.
    Some dancers don't want family to know for fear of hurting them, something that other dancers can understand. But roomates? Family can not be replaced, roomates can. Why would it matter to them if you are dancing? You certainly will be paying your bills!
    Pamela

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    Default Re: Hiding job from roomates

    Roomates have friends who have friends who have friends. Before you know it you will have a bunch of strangers coming over to your home wanting to meet, the "Stripper Roomate". As much as we here in our community on "Stripper Web", see nothing wrong with our choice of employment, most people do not see it this way and in the long run the more people that know you are a stripper the worse it will be. America is not ready to accept being a stripper as an honest form of employment. To most of society a stripper is nothing more than a manipulitive, drug addicted con artist. We all here know this is not true but lets face facts, It's definitly not in a exotic dancers best intrest to tell people what they do. It can be held against you for years to come wether you realize it or not.

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    Default Re: Hiding job from roomates

    I agree with Pamela....my family does not know, they never will (they live in FL, so that's easy to hide)

    and I don't tell my BF when I have problems with customers, I don't tell him anything I wouldn't want him telling me he did at work. But, I complain when another girl does something to make me mad, or the DJ plays a bad song, things like that (things I def wouldn't complain to the other girls about).....otherwise, who do you have to tell? Your customers want the illusion that there are no troubles outside this little world. Do a search, read what the guys here have said, the guy does not want to hear you complain! Don't tell things to people at work about people at work, even if it's a customer, they may tell that girl or maybe try and fight another customer. I use this and other web boards as soul-cleansers, spill my guts and no reprocussions.

    if you don't like what your roomies have to say, start working and then move, you'll be able to afford it.


    LOL, I talk too much
    Hottie on the Hood

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    Senior Member cassidykarma's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hiding job from roomates

    Roomates have friends who have friends who have friends. Before you know it you will have a bunch of strangers coming over to your home wanting to meet, the "Stripper Roomate". As much as we here in our community on "Stripper Web", see nothing wrong with our choice of employment, most people do not see it this way and in the long run the more people that know you are a stripper the worse it will be. America is not ready to accept being a stripper as an honest form of employment. To most of society a stripper is nothing more than a manipulitive, drug addicted con artist. We all here know this is not true but lets face facts, It's definitly not in a exotic dancers best intrest to tell people what they do. It can be held against you for years to come wether you realize it or not.
    Isn't this sad? It's a shame when the world seems to close in on you, but it does happen. Heaven forbid we actually are real people?

    When I first started I told EVERYONE! I didn't realize how some people would view it. Of course, I figured since it was a strict, no contact, one foot away from the customer at all times club, people wouldn't be so cruel. Girls in my dorm were back-lashing (of course just the heavier less attractive ones) and it was hurtful. I am now at a place where I figure f**k 'em if they can't deal with it. But GOD some people are ignorant. OK- Had to vent

    I would say tell the roommates and if they have a stink, make enough money and get your own place. If they are your friends now, they should be able to deal with it. I haven't lost any friends I already had.

    Lying is no fun to keep up. I wish you the best in whatever you decide.

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    Default Re: Hiding job from roomates

    "Roomates have friends who have friends who have friends. Before you know it you will have a bunch of strangers coming over to your home wanting to meet, the "Stripper Roomate"."

    That's why I have business cards with my club name and shift schedule. When someone gets too pesky, I give them a card and tell them to come see the show. If they keep on whining, I remind them that it's a business. If they want a freebie, they should go to the beach.

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    Default Re: Hiding job from roomates

    Sooner or later people will find out that you're a stripper so what's the use in hiding it. Only if your loved ones live elsewhere you can get away with it. Oh, where I live I get plenty of freebies at the beach, and not just from strippers (I think).



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    Default Re: Hiding job from roomates

    Sooo.... what WILL you tell them? "I have a great job but only work late at night and it involves lots of really expensive underwear......." They're gonna get the picture that you're NOT the night hostess at I-HOP.

    ON THE OTHER HAND.... It is a GREAT idea to have a person or persons NOT connected with the club who knows 'zacty where you work, your hours, etc., etc., etc. By the way, that's also true even if you DO work as the night hostess at I-HOP. The world is a dangerous place. We need to watch each other's backs. But, it's particularly true if your work involves your back (and front) being nude most of the time.

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    Default Re: Hiding job from roomates

    OK Susan, I have the perfect thing for you. You can be the world's first stand up stripping comedienne, except of course you wouldn't just be "standing" there. Pulling it off could be somewhat of a challenge, since you will have them so totally enthralled they will miss the punch line every time.

    "What?...Good God, what's she doing now?... Something about a nun, a rabbi and a chicken?... Oh, there she goes again..."

    They may not get all the jokes, but they definitely won't be bored.


    One of my favorite all-time dancers, Theo, did better than hide her dancing from her roomate, she kept it a secret from her fiance, who being a college professor, was no dummy (though I suspect he was a bit naive). Theo only went onstage when she felt like it, never even touched the pole, and made more money with less effort than perhaps any dancer I have ever seen. I would have liked her even if she didn't give me every dollar she made when she went on stage, which generally meant a giant pile of ones every time.

    Last I heard she gave up dancing, finally married the guy, and moved away with him. I don't envy his being misled by her, but he is still a very lucky man.

    I'm getting off topic...

    It may have been much easier for her to hide it. He actually lived in another city, she had a business selling dancewear online--with an entire room devoted to her "stock", including a literal wall of shoes, so no problem explaining the sequined g-strings that she'd never worn for him, and most of all--she was a consummate mistress of persuation.

    With 24 hour a day cohabitation that would be difficult, if not impossible, even for her. I would say it's pretty pointless to hide it, they are bound to find out eventually. Then they are going to wonder what else you're hiding, which is never good for a roomate.

    Djoser
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

  18. #18
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    Default Re: Hiding job from roomates

    I like the cleaning houses idea.....but that will not explain coming home very late. Perhaps the idea of working for a catering company. What is the story behind this lie? They cater to different affairs in different places, different cities, etc...? (and i never know where i will be until i get to work) I decided against living alone. It is very lonely. The roomates that I have are people that would definitely not be accepting of the job. I also thought that i could work only in the day time, (while all my friends are at work) but that also backfires - I couldnt get a "real" day job, plus the money is definitely better at night! Candice - you are from FL right? what catering company did you say that you worked for? Oh as for phone calls etc etc , I only give out my cell phone number so there is not much of a chance of anyone finding out through calls. My biggest concern is the hours and people wanting to visit me at a place that i made up. perhaps i could wash my face at work (though those dressing rooms can be gross!)and hope they are sleeping by 4 am.

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    Default Re: Hiding job from roomates

    I made up names of fictious owners that supposedly ran the ccatering company out of there house. And, yes, they cater to different affairs in different places, different cities mostly at private residences. Pool parties to corporate dinners many of them at private residences. And if they start to ask too many questions just say that you're trying to get a new job at a different catering company. Just be very vauge. I never told my roomates because I new it would make them very uncomfortable. Myself included. I don't believe in pushing my beliefs on anyone. The reason for lieing about all of this in my book is because if you decide to get out of stripping after a few months and you told everyone, you will always be known as, "The Stripper". People might be nice to you to your face but they will always be whispering about you. And as much as many girls say they are cool with strippers once they have a long term relationship they always kind of get funny around you and there guy. Good luck,
    Candice

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