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Thread: Customers and Dancers come out of the closet

  1. #1
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    Default Customers and Dancers come out of the closet

    Yet another club I am working at in Missoula MT is having to fight to operate. The city wants to take the alcohol out of the club.

    Two clubs in South Dakota in Winner and Mitchell are facing heat. El Paso Tx is too.

    We live in a "democracy" so to speak yet I am sick and tired of seeing family value and religious groups forcing cities to implement laws against adult establishments. Democracy means that people are free to express themselves and be different as long as they don't interfere in other peoples lives.

    I am extremely upset that we are about to lose abortion rights. If Mary decides to have an abortion, that's her business, it DOES NOT affect my life.

    All of us who stand back and allow these fucked up family value and religious groups to feel that they can force other people to live up to their beliefs have to be stopped.

    How many dancers do we have in the US today? How many strip club and massage parlor and independent sex worker patrons?

    When I read posts about the anti-whore sentiment it troubles me that most dancers and customers will not stand up to the plate and fight this bullshit. I don't want to hear any of you glass half full people say it can't be done. NO ONE IS FIGHTING!!! The religious groups and city councils KNOW they can gradually put us out of business and make most of their proposed laws stick because who is going to fight them.

    I'm in Montana this week and saw a 22 year old guy involved in politics here trying to get some new proposals passed and he says that almost everyone his age has no interest in politics and won't vote.

    WE NEED 75% of ALL 18-30 year olds to vote in order to change the median voting age from 49.6 years old. Younger people are the key to us not having clubs put out of business, for lesser drug penalties etc.

    We need 75% of all dancers and customers to FIGHT for full contact, full bar, full nude clubs and NOT worry about what people will think about them.

    Business is getting worse and worse for us dancers. And all of you who are honest about your earnings know that the clubs are slower and the guys are slower to buy dances.

    Some organizing needs to be done on a national level so that thousands of customers and dancers will overpower the system and create enough havoc to let these cities and states know that we will not tolerate no contact and no alcohol clubs.

    we are ASHAMED and embarrased of sex. Many of us who dance don't want our daughters to dance and are afraid to be open about sex with them. many customers frequent clubs but won't allow their daughter to dance.

    The energy of the Lusty Lady fight needs to be directed into making sure our clubs offer what customers will pay for and we need customers in large numbers who ENJOY good dances and drinks to help us in the fight. NOW!!!

    How many of you work in cities with stricter contact or alcohol laws that were passed?

    And for the ASPD members on this site, do you guys enjoy strip clubs so much in Houston that you would wage a war on the conservatives and come forward to keep the clubs there the way they are and stop the busts?

    We are not going to have ANY income ladies and guys you will not have any fun clubs to get stimulating dances from if we keep sitting on our asses and not caring.

    Money SUCKS now everywhere and it's not just because of the threat of war with Iraq or the economy.

    Do you guys believe in this business enough to fight and be seen?

    I am going to work now where the club will be getting customer signatures to keep the liquor flowing. Last year nude lap dances were available and the club was packed. Can you imagine what business will be like with no alcohol and minimal contact? Another Washington State and girls there are making $100 a night dancing now. Look at unincorporated Las Vegas. we've lost ground there.

    We need to take this seriously guys and girls. something can be done. Any unregulated business in this country will not be allowed to operate.We might lose money in the short run but sexual attitudes MUST be changed in this country NOW!!!

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Customers and Dancers come out of the closet

    What you are ignoring is that MOST workers in the sex industry have been sexually abused as children and/or have mental problems and/or have extremely low self esteem which is what caused them to strip [or work in other aspects of the sex industry]

    You can go to websites like and for some strippers stories [although they certainly don't describe all girls working in the sex industry]

    Good girls don't just wake up one day and decide to strip. These girls have a lot of other problems besides taking their clothes off for money.

    I don't think most young people frequent strip clubs or care that much about them. Paying strippers and prostitutes is not the same thing as picking up a girl at a bar and having sex with her.

    In my opinion, guys who regularly go to strip clubs to get extras either can't or won't get sex the "normal" way or are in a relationship that they are not completely happy with.



    The harmful effects of pornography are well established and anyone who has known strippers outside the club knows that most strippers hate stripping and are in varying degrees of denial about the "services" they perform. In my opinion, they are highly unlikely to form a political movement to keep strip clubs going.


    I think that mostguys who are looking for extras in strip clubs are not thinking much further than the blowjob they are looking to get tonight at a strip club.

    The fact that even Las Vegas has passed an ordinance severely limiting strip clubs shows that fighting against those trying to shut the clubs down is futile.

  3. #3
    Senior Member smurfalicious's Avatar
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    Default Re: Customers and Dancers come out of the closet

    Hmm, that's funny. I was abused as a teenager by my father, but not sexually. In fact I think my wanting to strip is one of the healthiest decisions I've made since removing myself from that situation. See, since I turned oh, 10, I got a little chubby. My family let me know, and my father wasn't the least bit quiet about it. He basically had me convinced I was completely worthless and undeserving of love, attention, and respect. When I left his house I was a shell of myself.

    Living with my mother was better, but sometimes she'd forget how sensitive I was and say things about my weight, or insist that I needed a much larger clothing size, thinking she was protecting me. In fact, when I bought myself some new clothes this fall, the gal at the store had to keep insisting I get smaller sizes. I'm a medium, at most a large, and kept grabbing the L or XL.

    But now, despite the anorexia images plaguing the media. I love my body. I am damn proud of every little curve. I've had lovers praise not my sexual prowess, but the fact that I'm "euphorically snuggly." I can do wonderous things with my body, and that makes me proud. I can run, for miles and feel the amazing strength in my legs. I can work "problem horses" and unruly colts. In my opinion, I look way better in my hip huggers than skinny little girls. And if I'm proud of that, and I'm not going to cover it up like our prude little society wants me to. I LOVE my body, and hey, if someone else can appreciate it on whatever level, then they've got great taste.

    What bugs me the most is your use of the word "victim." There's an American concept if I've ever seen one. No one is ever responsible for their own actions, no sir, there is always someone to blame. Doesn't the church offer *free* counseling? Wouldn't that have been a solution for those poor victims of the industry before they even turned to it? Oh that's right, it makes a way better story if they find religion after they've gotten in over their heads.

    And the drugs, boy do I love that. Maybe if we started teaching kids that it is possible to use responsibly if you must use, instead of DARE's "all use is abuse" message we wouldn't have kids who smoke pot, find out DARE lied to them about it, and move on to heroin because hey, "DARE is just lies anyway." Would you like links to those sad stories? Because those are far worse. No one makes you take drugs, and taking drugs doesn't by default ruin your life. Then again, you need *something* to dump blame on, right?

    As for the guys, hell my older brother and his buddy hit the clubs all the time! Why? Who knows really, mostly because they're guys and that's what guys like to do! Look at girls, even better, naked girls! My brother is, by all means gorgeous, he's never been without a girlfriend for long, but the fact is, sometimes a little escape from "reality" can be fun.

    I'm gonna roll with your whole strippers hating their job thing just for a second. Maybe they do, but where in the world do you see a better way for them? Flinging burgers at minimum wage? There we go. If you saw my resume, you'd be amazed at all the things I know how to do, and the experience I have at such a young age. Can I find a job though? No, because I'm "overqualified" for the greater majority of jobs in this town.

    Our government would be absolutely terrified by an educated work force. Take Welfare to Work for example. That is the shoddiest program I've ever seen because it miserably fails for the women, men, and families who truly need it. Rather than boot someone off of Welfare in x amount of time, why not make a social investment and provide them with childcare, and education such as a 1 or 2 year certificate program that might allow them to earn a modest, livable wage and perhaps even allow them to further themselves more. Naaawh.

    My main goal in stripping is to get some money for school because my mom kinda fudged on the availability of funds for my dreams of at least a master's in forestry. I'm guessing I'm not alone in that. I think it's a world better to sell your image stripping, than to sell your soul to some crappy company, making yourself a cog in the big wheel that makes some fat guy up top tons of money. I've done that long enough.

    Oh! But I have glanced at a few of the sob stories of these poor "victims" and I have a great idea! Since shoddy self esteem seems to be the problem, let's fix it! Stop buying your girls barbies, get them "Happy to be Me" dolls. When you see advertisements in magazines with negative, or unhealthy images of women, write to the company and complain! When you see positive images, write to the company and praise them! Let's take all the money wasted on DARE and spend it on a program to help boost girl's confidence! Tell the networks what you think about the girls of Friend's going from a size 6 to a size 2 over the span of their series. Tell your daughters they're beautiful! Take them to see "Real Women Have Curves" in the theatres. Damn! I'm getting excited here!

    VIVA LA REVOLUTION! Or something...
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    Default Re: Customers and Dancers come out of the closet

    Smurf, you said that so well, that I almost have nothing to add. (note I say "almost")
    I just need to challenge the "Good girls don't just wake up one day and decide to strip. These girls have a lot of other problems besides taking their clothes off for money."
    Who are you to judge who is "good", and what the hell does that mean anyway? I am an educated professional and a dedicated mother. I volunteer at my daughter's school, contribute to my community, and even attend church. I have a respectable career, yet CHOSE to strip to enhance my income and because I enjoyed the work. Does that make me less of a person, less good, somehow flawed? I think not. Do I consider myself to be a better person than another girl who is dealing with less fortunate circumstances? Absolutely not!
    Generalizations like this are a sign of true ignorance. What I fail to understand is why someone with such a poor view of women in this industry would bother hanging around this site at all?

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Customers and Dancers come out of the closet

    Tina I am so with you on this. I have been getting more and more pissed off as increasingly I see the religious fundamentalists and family values sex police cramming their sterile way of life down our throats.

    Nothing against religon, only the way some pathetic souls practice it, and are obsessed with getting everyone else to conform exactly to their narrow-minded way of worship, and repressive, conformist lifestyle.

    Its all Constantine's fault. The church, and our cute little history textbooks (censored by moralistic goons) make him out to be a saintly hero, but he murdered his own son and only fully embraced Christianity on his death bed. He did make it "safe" to be a Christian in the Roman Empire, but within 15-20 years of his death, instead of throwing Christians to the lions (along with many other kinds of victims), they started in on the real fun of burning people alive who believed what they wanted to about Jesus. Tens of thousands of victims have died this most horrible death in the name of the Lord...

    Safe to be the RIGHT kind of Christian, that is. And contrary to the myth, perpetrated with glee by sex police for a couple hundred years now, the Roman Empire did NOT fall because of orgies and moral depravity, but from a myriad of other causes, the rise of organized, repressive Christianity being not the least of them. Arianism, a tolerant form of humanistic Chistianity, was wiped out only after the moral energy of the later Roman Empire was dissipated in endless and divisive debate. The human bonfires blazed, while the barbarians moved in.

    Those of you who believe in and have your own special bond with your own God, take no offense, I beg you. More power to ya. Just help us all to keep God where he/she/it belongs, in your hearts, and OUT of our government, schools, sex-lives, and most especially, out of our fucking business.

    I love this country, but it is far from perfect, the attitude prevalent towards sexuality and its commercial application being one of the most glaring imperfections.

    America is simultaneously obsessed with and scared to death of sex. This is patently obvious in the media, which cannot stop showing it--but always somehow in a negative connotation. Every movie on TV about strippers has them getting murdered by some whacked out geek, generally immediately after they have stripped or fucked--the message, sex=death. Unless it's for procreation only, with your obese marriage partner only, as quickly as possible, with all the lights out, of course.

    An (like the Greek root meaning "without"?) where are you getting your statistics? "The harmful effects of pornogaphy are well established" by whom? Ted Bundy made a great case for that with John Tanner, while trying to weasel out of a well deserved death sentence, and passionately embracing God, too, for good measure. Nice try, he's someone whose opinion I really respect. Ed Meese, funded by a repressive administration bound and determined to prove the point that pictures of naked ladies are evil, no matter how much of the taxpayers dollars it took? Andrea Dworkin, whose definition of sexual equality includes the right to make sure no woman ever shares her joyous sexuality with any man in any public way?

    What a joke. Established and perpetuated by people who are having no fun whatsoever, or had too much and are sorry, so want noone else to have any fun, either. Ever. The studies which have proven the opposite are conveniently ignored and denied, shuttled aside in the ongoing quest for "decency".

    You hit the nail on the head, Tina, we have to get out the vote. I think the problem is, those of us who like our fun can't quite comprehend how others want so badly to stop us, until its too late. It's a lot harder to repeal a restrictive law than it is to get it passed.

    Thats why it is still technically illegal to have oral sex, even with your own spouse in your own living room, in so many states of this Union. Which makes the answer given by police when asked why they are arresting you for a smoking a little joint--"it's the law"--so absurd.

    Keep spreading the word, Tina, and keep freedom alive...

    Djoser



    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
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    Default Re: Customers and Dancers come out of the closet

    There's a really great song by this Ska band called, duh duh! Skapone. Anyway, the lyrics are fabulous. The chorus goes:

    There seems to be a problem
    With some of the people
    Mixing together, guns and steeples

    Then of course there's the Dancehall Crashers:

    I don't care who, you wanna pray to
    If it makes you happy then go ahead
    But you claim I'm wrong
    What gives you the right?
    Just stick to your own life...

    Charming little ditties when the religious right in this town start to piss me off. They protest at Planned Parenthood all the time. There's a homeless dude that protests too, only his sign says "My mother didn't have an abortion and now I need a beer."

    Ummm, so yeah I need to sleep now.

    love and cookies
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    I was a teenage ska ho
    You can't fight gravity, on a planet that insists, that love is like falling, and falling is like this...

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    Default Re: Customers and Dancers come out of the closet

    HA HA HA, Smurf, that is cool!

    Djoser
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

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    Default Re: Customers and Dancers come out of the closet

    I agree that strict local ordinances wind up being bad for business. But you also have to keep in mind that if it weren't for America's puritanical undertone that the type of clubs we're used to - where it's possible to earn big money from guys based on a fantasy rather than having to actually "deliver the goods"- wouldn't exist.

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    Default Re: Customers and Dancers come out of the closet

    Melonie, this is the first time I have ever disagreed with you! Not totally, mind you--if people were more satisfied with and capable of freely expressing their sexuality, there might well be less need for our business. But isn't it likely that our business could be made easier, and this would balance out?

    Look at some of the areas of Europe with greater tolerance, aren't there still erotic dance venues (as opposed to sex for cash venues--that would make an interesting study/survey)? And if people were happier with their sex lives and sexual freedom, wouldn't there be less demand for "extras" that is so irritating for so many, and more satisfaction with erotic dance per se?

    Fantasy, it would seem to me, would not decrease if freedom were more apparent.

    Perhaps I am wrong, but there is no shame in losing a debate with the likes of you.

    If sex were not viewed as "dirty"and "filthy", sexually-oriented businesses discouraged and kept in bad neighborhoods, and their workers chastised by family, friends, and society in general, would there not be more willing workers, and establishments more appealing to potential customers?

    You are amazing, by the way, I wish you would become a lawyer and use that awesome mental power to full effect! And it distresses me when people misinterpret your knowledge and acceptance of the necessity of dealing with the demand for "extras" for approval of the situation. I admire your stength, intelligence, and ability to accurately perceive and circumvent the harsh realities we all must face, each in our own way.

    Djoser
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

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    Default Re: Customers and Dancers come out of the closet

    I think Melonie's right on! I have always said I was so happy I lived in America, where the majority is so uptight about nudity, because that's what provides me with a job! Yeah, there's some strip clubs in Europe, but far fewer than there are here. It's definitely the naughty factor that helped give rise to the industry here and helped it expand.

    I feel very lucky to live in a city where community and law enforcement attacks on the clubs are non-existent. Very live-and-let-live, or else the club owners are paying off the cops, but the clubs aren't at Houston levels of service, so I don't think that's the case. This has certainly lulled me into a sense of security.

    People aren't likely to jump up and defend strip clubs - however, there are a lot of people in the community who will want to know why law enforcement resources are being spent on titty bars rather than on real problems. I think that's a possible tactic to take - customers and dancers don't have to identify themselves as such, just say, "Hey, leave a legitimate business alone and get rid of those gun dealers down the street!"

    I would like to know if there are any cases where a club-restricting ordinance was successfully defeated. Anyone have any information?

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    Default Re: Customers and Dancers come out of the closet

    The comment made by An (never saw this person post before) is totally uncalled for. Granted there are dancers who have been abused and there are more than enough who are "fucked up" so to speak, but to say that most have self esteem problems and mental problems and that no "good" girls strip and only "weird" guys go to strip clubs is totally off base.

    An, are you a spy from the moral majority who is a regular snoop on all adult oriented sites?

  12. #12
    Pamela
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    Default Re: Customers and Dancers come out of the closet

    First off i think pro choice is a great idea for any womens body. And being ashamed of dancing is strange to me.(don't get it.) Honestly i meet more people in my hospital job than dancing who end up in the ER for drugs. Easy doing at the hospital, little pill for everything. Mental problem, you would not believe the percentage of people out there with a mental disorder, doctors don't even know, because a high percentage do not get help. And my family and friends along with my daughter (when she is old enough) know! Judge me anyone if they wish. I can only life one life, and that life is mine. I make my own decisions...always. I have not been sexualy abused...I had a drive to make good money and go to college! And if anyone knows the symptoms of low self esteem, then they know that a dancer does not fit that image. We are in front of lots of people naked, dancing, having conversation. They are not the signs of low self esteem. low self esteem has signs if anyone is aware of the persons behaviour long enough. Sales people are mainly extroverts. And we are selling. Introverts can be classified as shy or having low self esteem. (They usually go hand in hand.) Pamela

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    Default Re: Customers and Dancers come out of the closet

    an or someone just llike her used to post on edf. if you actually read her site it is all from ONE small study of a few sad cases where in fact the girls were way messed up before dancing

    i would also like to add that i was brought up in a middle class normal family with my mother staying home with the kids. i'm educated , have NEVER been sexually abused. i would say i had a great childhood and am a normal person. i started dancing and have stayed a dancer for many years and yes i just made a decision to try it. i love it and the money i have made over the years. i guess this misguided person (an) thinks she is doing her moral duty to help us poor,poor "victims". another case of a religous right wacko trying to put her morals on everyone in the world .because as you know i'm sure her church is the only ones going to heaven.... yea right
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    Default Re: Customers and Dancers come out of the closet

    1. I have never been abused, and didn't know of anyone at my old club that had been.
    2. I have a bachlors degree, which I paid for by dancing. I also have a 9-5, at which I make very good money.
    3. I have never had a mental disorder, but know many people who have, the majority of which are not dancers.
    4. I do not hate dancing, in fact I love it. It can have it's bad nights, but no job is perfect. I dreamed of being a (ballet or modern) dancer as a child, but being 4'11" made that is impossible, this can be almost as good.
    5. My self esteem is just fine, thank you very much. If it wasn't do you really think that I could dance in front of complete strangers. IMOH the only way a dancer could have self esteem issues would be if she worked at a low class club that over-looked heavy drinking and drug use. As most of you know from my previous posts, I don't drink, and have never done drugs.

    Jasmine

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    Default Re: Customers and Dancers come out of the closet

    Basically, all types of girls choose to dance. There are girls who go to school, have degrees, do drugs, have emotional problems, have social problems, have husbands and kids, or girlfirends and kids, have regular jobs, have never had any other job and never will, and on and on and on with all the nouns in the dictionary.
    Most of us are in it for the money, but I do know that some are in it for the attention. I don't care why people dance or what their personal history is b/c its not my business unless they happen to confide in me. All types of people from all types of backgrounds put on the thongs and the heels and get to it on the stages across America evry nite. Maybe good girls don't just wake up one day and strip, then again maybe they do, but I always say.......................Good girls go to heaven, Bad girls go evrywhere!
    "Come what may although I often say realities come from dreams, but approach all lies with open eyes because NOthing in this world is EVER ALL it seems."

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    Default Re: Customers and Dancers come out of the closet

    There's an old saying that if nothing were illegal or naughty, then nothing would be fun. Very true indeed.

    Look at Playboy magazine and the old Playboy clubs. When the magazine first came out in the 50's, it was quite shocking. By the late 70's when Penthouse and Hustler came out with considerably more graphic photography, it was suddenly old hat. Just the same, going to a "key club" and having a woman wearing a skimpy outfit and a bunny tail serve you a drink was no longer such a big deal, when you could go to another club and watch one take her clothes off.

    Certainly I don't like to see strip clubs regulated into obvlivion, but sometimes these restrictions over the long term actually HELP as laws are never permanent. Certainly you have your extremes, for every Cincinnati, theres a San Francisco. History shows that eventually the puritan tyrants will push their agenda a little too far and there will be a backlash. Over time, the pendulum swings back and forth. Its simply the natural cycle of things.

    Jerry Falwell and Larry Flynt might be considered polar opposites but don't think for a minute that either one wants to see the other disapear. Each is too good for the other's business.

    Yes, I'd like to see adult business owners, dancers, and customers get a little more involved politically and get some of these stupid ordinances repealed, but we can't fight a common enemy as long as there's infighting amongst ourselves.

    And suppose we succeeded. Then what would we do. I'd suspect that there would be a lot of disagreement on the next course of action and we'd be infighting AGAIN. I'd also suspect once we had the "enemy" vanquished, many of us would retreat back into political apathy.

    Just some points to consider.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

  17. #17
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    Default Re: Customers and Dancers come out of the closet

    Any serious sex maniac knows that restrictive ordinances actually help deliver MORE sexual services for less (sometimes far less) money.

    For a perfect example of this, look at Houston - the long term effects of the Houston licensing and three foot rule ordinance has been a PERVERT'S DREAM!

    I would say that almost all dancers in Houston have performed some kind of sexual service for money at one time or another and most dancers do so when they need money badly enough. I think that most dancers in Houston were less prostitutional (if there is such a word) before the ordinance.

    I think that more restrictions on behavior in clubs would lead to dancers going outside the club with customers which is what MANY customers want.

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    Default Re: Customers and Dancers come out of the closet

    An, the thing YOU are ignoring "is that MOST" AMERICANS "have been sexually abused as children and/or have mental problems and/or have extremely low self esteem." The same is true in most other countries. So, you could make claim about any job or position. :-/ But whatever, you'll believe what you will.

    Lover, please register, if you want an anonymous email address, go to hotmail or yahoo and get a free one. You're turning into more of a poster than a troll. Never thought I'd see the day.

    Tina, we live in a "Democracy" not a Democracy (it's actually a Republic). I feel your pain about the small amount of voters who actually vote...the people who won't lend their voices to just causes or against unjust ones...those who can't see the truth...or those who push lies for profit. Blegh, it's all so sick. The only thing that gives me hope is that more and more people are noticing that it's time to wake up and to stop beliving the rhetoric. I'll stop before I sound too crazy.

    Anyways, does anyone realize that it's actually possible now-a-days to have a true democracy? Information systems could handle it and be much more secure than our current voting system, but what government official would get that ball rolling.
    We all imagine ourselves the agents of our destiny, capable of determining our own fate. But have we truly any choice in when we rise, or when we fall, or does a force larger than ourselves bid us our direction. Is it evolution that takes us by the hand, does Science point our way, or is it God who intervenes keeping us safe.

    So much struggle for meaning, for purpose. And in the end, we find it only in each other. Our shared experience of the fantastic. And the mundane. The simple human need to find a kindred, to connect. And to know in our hearts... that we are not alone.
    Heroes

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    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Customers and Dancers come out of the closet

    True democracy can be a very dangerous thing for dance clubs ... without the "back door approach" being available to city hall, it's an almost certain bet that housewives plus bible thumpers plus retirees could muster enough votes to totally outlaw dance clubs. Remember the prohibition years when female voters raised enough votes to outlaw alcohol. As a result, well connected upscale "speakeasy"s prospered, totally illegal "bootleggers" and bathtub gin makers had a ready market, but corner taverns were closed by the thousands. Unless you're working in a super upscale show club or an extreme contact club which is already illegal, putting the issue of dance clubs to a popular vote can definitely be hazardous to future employment prostpect.

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    Default Re: Customers and Dancers come out of the closet

    Melonie and Divyne, I always love your posts. You are both so honest, so direct and speak with a deep intelligence evolving from experience about so many issues. Thank you both for helping me with mine.

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    Default Re: Customers and Dancers come out of the closet

    Maybe in parts of the country, but in others they would still be welcomed.

    In my perfect world though it wouldn't matter. The constitution should protect harmless acts between consenting adults. Now who has an island for sale?
    We all imagine ourselves the agents of our destiny, capable of determining our own fate. But have we truly any choice in when we rise, or when we fall, or does a force larger than ourselves bid us our direction. Is it evolution that takes us by the hand, does Science point our way, or is it God who intervenes keeping us safe.

    So much struggle for meaning, for purpose. And in the end, we find it only in each other. Our shared experience of the fantastic. And the mundane. The simple human need to find a kindred, to connect. And to know in our hearts... that we are not alone.
    Heroes

  22. #22
    Senior Member shesupsidedown's Avatar
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    Default Re: Customers and Dancers come out of the closet

    Has anyone ever considered the fact that maybe not all dancers agree with full contact lap dances and that maybe some would welcome restrictions so we can go back to being dancers and not having to ride crotch all evening to make a buck?
    Personally when I started dancing many years ago my purpose was to support a very nasty drug habit but then I had my daughter and the way I saw the world changed. I have been clean 8 years and I continue to dance because I enjoy performing.... Yes I was sexually/emotionally/physically abused by men my entire life which is exactly the reason I make the choice now upon staying in this profession NOT to subject myself to being felt up and disrespected by men on a nightly basis. I am there to put on a show... on stage out of your reach, I am fantasy. If you speak to me with disrespect, touch me improperly, you will leave, end of story. Why is it not like this everywhere? Not because of the girls....because of the girls...Because of ownership and management....I have watched owners push, shove, humiliate, prostitute, offer drugs, shifts for sex, etc....why do we put up with this?
    Unfortunely I feel it is not the girls welcoming these extras, friction dances, and whatever else into the clubs. I have watched it evolve throughout the years as a way of clubs competing with one another. If club A gets sleazy than club B does as well to keep business coming through the door..the dancers that don't participate are left without jobs...no matter how much of an "asset" you are...I am all for regulations to a point because in my experience I watched all to many club owners lord over intelligent, talented women who in my opinion were going above and beyond the call of duty for a buck because it was left unchecked...and we all know many of these same women have families to support, drug habits, low self esteem, school loans etc...and see no other way...
    We are all beautiful, talented and STRONG for being in this business in the first place....It is hard not only in the clubs but to fight societies negative opinions of us and the service we supply. I agree we should stand up for strip clubs/sex industry rights but don't forget about about standing up for ourselves.... Please do yourself a favor and watch Live Nude Girls Unite....
    ~Tori~
    I have often thought that if a rational Fascist dictatorship were to exist, then it would choose the American system.
    -Noam Chomsky

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