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Thread: Question about having kids

  1. #1
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    Default Question about having kids

    Hi!
    I was wondering what everybody tells customers about them having kids? I have three myself (and a husband) and I'm just starting out. Is it better to not say anything at all? What if the customer asks? Do you tell the truth or make up a story you can remember?
    Does having kids make business better, worse, or is it not a factor?
    I'm assuming you shouldn't mention if you're married... am I correct in that assumption?
    Thanks for your help.

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    Default Re: Question about having kids

    I wouldn't say a thing If I were you, unless you have sufficient trust with your customer and you're certain he's not seeking you out. Maybe if he finds out, he'll cool off and continue being your customer.



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    Veteran Member EvilCyn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question about having kids

    I am married, and was when I started dancing....... I never lie to a customer about being married if I am asked......
    I have had customers ask me to get up and leave there table, not buy drinks or dances because I am married.......Fine I don't care, someone else will.....
    I can tolerate any of that, I have had a few though insult my husband ie:
    "whaqt kind of man lets HIS woman do this"
    "Doesn't he take care of you" ect ect ect.......
    I have a wonderful hard working husband and father to his kids....
    I just have to walk away and blow it off, so I keep my job......LOL
    I do interact a little differnetly though as in, I put my ring on my right hand(I only wear a gold band) ( I don't like diamonds, yes I am the only girl who doesn't....LOL)
    So they really never notice it....
    When I am talking I have trained my self in thee art of "I" "me" never we, and sounding like I am single, but if asked, I always tell them
    We have been together 18 years, and I would not disrespect him by lieing, I am proud of him our kids and all we have together !!!!


    I copied and pasted this from whne I posted this back to another girl thee other day.......If they ask, I tell them like I said.......If they don't ask they don't know..... I do get alot of compliements on the fact I have 3 kids and can work in this biz, in some ways it has helped me make a little more...The nice guys who hands me a nice tip and says get something nice for your kids !!! Its all in the way you handle it...
    There is no better buzz then busting a nut.......
    The Curve is more powerful then the sword .. Mae West

  4. #4
    Pamela
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    Default Re: Question about having kids

    I would never just bring family up in conversation with a customer.
    You are playing a fantasy for these guys, to dance, and entice. Some guys want a "club gf". actually i hear that alot! And even though you are not leaving with them or in"love with them. They want your undivided attention, and can be jealous in their minds, even though you won't see it.
    I have a child, i don't tell customers. When i had a bf, i did not bring it up, they asked, and when a customer asked me i told him i did, i saw i was losing guys who would come to me, go to a single girl after that. So then when my bf and i called it quits, i told guys i have no bf/husband. I am single. It does not cause me problems, i am not taking anything we do at work outside the club. (Don't keep asking me, i would rather have them go away crap....True)
    So it's up to you, but my earnings went high when single. Your are a fantasy gf to lots of guys while they are paying you to spend time with them, and they want to think you are really into them, even if it is only inside those doors!
    Good luck Pamela

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    Default Re: Question about having kids

    telling customers that you have kids is not a problem earnings wise. Telling them that you have a boyfriend/S.O./husband IS a problem earnings wise, a HUGE problem. Lots of guys persist in the fantasy (actually, fallacy is more accurate) that you as a dancer are potential future girlfriend material for themselves - if only they keep spending enough money in your direction to attract your attention. The admitted presence of a boyfriend/S.O./husband kills the fantasy and vastly reduces the spending in your direction !

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    Default Re: Question about having kids

    Well, I'm sort of giggly...which works well for me, b/c I definatly have that "underage" look. (a TON of people say I look like Julia Stiles, including my BF, and my Mom) So, when people ask me, I avoid the question, I don't tell them no, I don't lie, but I usually just giggle and say something like "why, do you think I'm you type?" or "Awe, you think I'm cute?" Always followed by "Sorry, I don't date people from work"
    It works most of the time, if they really persist, to the point of annoying, I usually get up and leave, those are the types that don't give up (those nights, I tend to have my BF come pick me up, I don't like the idea of someone following me home :o )

    I absolutely notice the difference in earnings if they know.
    Hottie on the Hood

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    Default Re: Question about having kids

    So, when people ask me, I avoid the question, I don't tell them no, I don't lie, but I usually just giggle and say something like "why, do you think I'm you type?" or "Awe, you think I'm cute?" Always followed by "Sorry, I don't date people from work"
    Gosh, don't you think you're being too rough with those clients? What if they're just plain curious and have no ulterior motive? That's a real fantasy killer just saying, out of the blue, that you don't date people from work, especially when you have no clue yet as to what's really cooking in those guys' heads.



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    God/dess Zofia's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question about having kids

    I never say that I have a boyfriend. If pressed, I will lie and say I have a girlfriend. If the guy is interested, and most are I'll try to sell him a two girl show.

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    Default Re: Question about having kids

    LOL, I don't mean just out of the blue. I guess that came out differently in writing than in my head. I don't just say that, only when they ask me out, etc.
    You can tell if they have motives. At least I can, if thier just curious, you can usually tell that. The guys who aren't in "the fantasy" and are really just there to have fun, I don't really have a problem telling them I'm attached. They don't have a problem knowing it. Those guys don't typically ask, probably since I never give out my personal info, I avoid questions relating to me, and usually spin them back into a question. So, the one's who aren't "interested", don't go far enough with the questions to bother with that one. I guess you have to be good at reading people.
    But I don't really think it's thier business, I don't ask them what thier girlfriend/S.O./wife thinks about them being there, I think it's incredibly rude for them to be asking me.
    Hottie on the Hood

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    Senior Member #8_Fan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question about having kids

    It doesn't matter to me if a dancer is married has a bf or kids. I do know it does matter to some customers. I have had dancers tell me of losing regulars when they found out she was married. In one of the cases it was another dancer telling the customer. As for kids I never heard of a girl losing a customer over that.

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    Default Re: Question about having kids

    Yup, as soon as a guy finds out the dancer's married, it's either one of two: 1) The guy obviously wanted to date the dancer; 2) The guy is very conservative and feel that it's innappropiate to get cuddly with the dancer simply because she's married. As of number 1 it's pretty clear what's the consensus in SW. As of number 2 I don't really thing that casual touching, even if inherently sexual without being overt, is something to be avoided between people who aren't married to each and simply are chatting, having fun and dancing with each other.



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    Default Re: Question about having kids

    I have normally stuck with a "don't ask, don't tell" policy.

    If they don't ask, I don't tell.


    McCain

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    Veteran Member hollyday's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question about having kids

    i usually tell them i have a kid
    but it's better not to tell too many lies as they have a tendency to come back and bite u in the ass!...they are hard to keep straight and which lie to told to which customer...so i don't recommend it...the less lies the better.
    blessed be

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    Default Re: Question about having kids

    Hi!
    I was wondering what everybody tells customers about them having kids? I have three myself (and a husband) and I'm just starting out. Is it better to not say anything at all? What if the customer asks? Do you tell the truth or make up a story you can remember?
    Does having kids make business better, worse, or is it not a factor?
    I'm assuming you shouldn't mention if you're married... am I correct in that assumption?
    Thanks for your help.
    Do not ever tell them the full truth... since you have children you will need to keep their ID safe as well.

    Tell the customer what he wants to hear... if he wants you to be single.. allow him to think that... if he wants you to be bi-sexual... allow him to think that.. if he wants you to be married you can play with that: "Yes I'm married and I also have a boyfriend" ;-) If he wants you to have kids (so he feels like he's giving money to the child and not you)... tell him you have one child.

    When you do say you've got a child: make that child up. You could use a mixture of traits from your own children: one child's age, another child's name etc.

    Just make it up. Only with your regulars do you start to tell them a little more about yourself however still keep some things secret (or "made up").

    For instance.. I will never ever reveal my real location to people I always use the next suburb over. If they ask too personal a question... make sure they realise they've hit a limit.

    You don't need to reveal personal information to them at all even... if you don't want too.. it is totally up to you.

    PS This works for me at my club because the majority of visitors are tourists or "one offs" or once/twice a year type of customers. If a customer does call me on one of my stories... I just tell him that I was experimenting that night with something.


    enter: E3167322D9 for your 10% discount

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    God/dess Zabrina's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question about having kids

    There's this one girl at my work that actually carries around a picture of her three kids and shows it to every customer. The customers tell me later that they bought a dance because they felt sorry for her, but they really didn't give a crap to hear all her kid stories. Since she is one of the least attractive girls, the pics help her get pity dances. The customers buy one dance because they feel sorry for her, then I come over and get all the rest of his money. Point is, keep the conversation light and fun. No one wants discuss their kids and yours at the club. So if a guy asks, tell him what you want and then change the subject to something more club appropriate. And definitely don't bring up that topic if he's not asking.

  16. #16
    Veteran Member EvilCyn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question about having kids

    Mariah, even though I have kids and do not lie about it if I am asked.....
    I so agree with keeping it club related..
    That's why I keep it to, if the ask me.......
    I could never imagine someone giving me money because the feel sorry for me.....
    There is no better buzz then busting a nut.......
    The Curve is more powerful then the sword .. Mae West

  17. #17
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    Default Re: Question about having kids

    When I first started dancing 2 years ago I would say I was single, even though I wasn't. And after a while, it became the biggest pain in the ass. The guys would get hung up on me and press by constantly asking for dates. And I would have to keep making up excuses, politely saying "no" over and over. So I made the decision to just be honest and now when a customer asks if I have boyfriend or whatever I tell them yes I do, but it doesn't mean we can't have fun in here and enjoy some dances.
    Has it hurt my business by saying I have a boyfriend, not really. I think when you say you're married it's worse for the guy to hear. But just saying boyfriend is not to threatening to the customer. Most of the time I just hear from them after I dance is "tell your boyfriend he's a lucky guy". And now I don't have to worry about guys constantly asking me out.
    Getting wrapped up in too many lies is not cool. I hear girls tell all sorts of BS to guys and they can never keep their stories straight and it makes them look stupid when they get caught in a lie.
    I don't have any kids so I don't have to worry about that.
    One thing that really gets me though, is guys that judge us for dancing if we are involved with someone, but then most of them are married and come in to the clubs looking for all kinds of things. Talk about hypocrites!

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question about having kids

    I have my customers that love the fact that I am married. I don't wear my ring at work, but sometimes the guys ask if I am married anyway. Usually when I get these questions, are guys who get off on the fantasy of wife swapping, swinging etc. I always say that me and my hubby are swingers (and we are for the right people), and those guys who want that kind of fantasy are all over it!

    It is the younger customers that usually have a problem with my relationship status. They don't usually ask, and I don't usually offer that information.

    As Far as kids go, guys ask, but I usually say no. No point in talking PTA, cub scouts etc. while at work.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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